logo
Forward Psychic Soldiers
KEYWORDS: paranormal, supernatural, psychic, military, America, United States


It is well know the United States Military has a physchic warfare unit. What is not quite so well known, nor discussed in the mainstream media regularly is that the people running this unit do not live on planet reality.

CREATIVE COMMONS: Some rights reserved. Distribution: Non - commercial, attrib, no derivs, All reproductions should be credited to Boggart Blog and linked to "http://www.greenteethmm.com/"

Forward Psychic Soldiers
by Ian R Thorpe
2007-02-28

Psychic Soldiers Attennnnnnnnnn-SHUN!

A story resurfaced this week which on its first appearance in the 1980s provoked great hilarity. So a big Thank You from Boggart Blog to the U.S. Freedom of Information Laws under which details of the Pentagon’s Psychic Warfare Unit have just been released into the public domain.

Among the whackier projects of the were a plan to train soldiers to kill goats just by staring at them and another to identify and train personnel capable of walking through walls to infiltrate enemy installations. Did I mention the Psychic Warfare Unit was based in California BTW? The psychic slaughter of goats, had it worked, might have turned out to be spookily prescient. After all it is feasible that Al Quaeda are planning to or have already used Goats of Mass Destruction in Iraq and Afghanistan.

So how was the psychic slaughter project supposed to operate. What mystery had the US DoD unlocked, what ancient, weird wisdom had they rediscovered. Perhaps the aliens they keep in Area 51 had revealed some knowledge from an advanced, superior secret

Or maybe thy just got conned. What the hell, it's not their money is it?

It seems the psychic and mystical warfare unit got hold of psychically gifted soldiers and trained him to concentrate very very hard on the idea of goats dying while he started at one. Now it has long been the policy of the Pentagon to force feed amphetamines to American soldiers to keep them hyped up in readiness for a friendly fire incident, so getting one to concentrate very very hard for more that two seconds on anything excluding drugs, porn, fast food and shooting things is an achievement in itself.

All things considered then, the project was doomed from the start.

On top of the other setbacks, the goats proved themselves more intelligent than the soldiers by wandering off to eat some grass. Except for one that is which found itself being looked at in a dewy eyed way by a boy from Alabama. This one ran off as if its arse was on fire and was never seen again.

This leaves us with the question, is it possible to kill a goat by staring at it? As a Druid I can tell you that it is so long as you don’t die of dehydration before the goat. Its a lot easier to shoot one however.

Moving on quickly to the walking through walls project, this has its beginnings in sensible atomic physics theory. It ought to have had its endings there too. Unfortunately a General who had once been involved in military experiments with LSD and had obviously spent a lot of time swallowing amphetamines and staring at goats stumbled on a completely irrational hippie philosophy, that there are no facts and anything we believe is our own personal truth.

The General has his psychic instructors explain that to a team of men who had displayed the potential to be able to walk through walls with the right training. In this way they would infiltrate enemy installations. Sadly nobody bothered to explain it to the walls. The theory is that an atom consists of a nucleus that is orbited by electrons. Between the atom and the electrons is empty space. Thus the universe is made up of atoms that consist of more empty space than solid stuff. CAREFUL! That chair you are sitting on is made of nothing. The General decided that as humans are made mostly of empty space as are walls, tables, chairs, crocodiles and lumps of cheese it should be easy for a human to pass through a wall. All you had to do was believe.

The sergeants of the Psychic Warfare Unit lined up their men and yelled “Right lads, see that wall? Well it isn’t really there, you’ve just been conditioned to believe its there. Now by the left, through the wall CHARGE!”

And the men charged the wall - and ended up with sore noses.

The theory was sound insofar as atoms do actually consist of more space than matter. But things are never as simple as they seem and what the U.S. Military did not take into account was the not-yet-understood forces that bind nuclei and electrons into an atom, atoms into a molecule and molecules into everything from air and gas to flesh, bones, bricks, cement and lumps of cheese.

As a proper philosopher Immanuel Kant did not say, “Objects exist in reality but it takes human taste buds to distinguish cement from cheese,”*

Thus ends our exploration of the U.S. Psychic Warfare Department.

NOTE: I should point out because if I don’t some outraged mystic certainly will, that not all the experiments failed so magnificently. The U.S. and British armies have used psychics with varying degrees of success. We were informed by an unofficial source that the Americans were using psychis to spy on Saddam Hussein until a few weeks before outbeak of the Iraq war. The scryers were all sacked when they told the White House Saddam had NO weapons of mass destruction. Also Boggart Blog has no interest in fair and balanced reporting so this article is full of exaggerations, distortions and fabrications for comic effect.

Read about some of the experiments here.

*Immanuel Kant actually said “objects exist in reality but it takes a human mind to surround them with time and space.”

RELATED POSTS:
Life On MarsAfter rubbishing reports of UFOs and alien visitations for years scientists got very excited when they thought they had found water (ice) on the surface of Mars. This indicates that other planets in our solar system miht just be able to support life. Not as good as seeing a flying saucer in your back garden though is it?
Life On Mars Conspiracyhe American Military have long dreamed of putting a men on Mars, landing a manned space craft on the surface of the Red Planet. Martians are such stuff as dreams are made of but reality suggests that as with the moon landing all the astronauts would find is rocks. Unless there is a conspiracy of silence to keep us from finding our Mars is home to a race of three breasted alien nymphomaniacs and the military and political elite want to keep this to themselves...
Life On Mars - The TruthScientists have sighed, UFO spotters have uffed and theorists have theed about whether life could exist on Mars. In spite of numerous UFO sightings, alien encounters and serious but ultimately futile research we were no nearer to knowing the truth about life on mars. Until now. UFO investigator and whirling dervish Adrian Tantric Spoon tells all.
Turd Nine From Outer SpaceWhat are the mysterious turn shaped brown unidentified flying objects that have been filmed hovering over Southern England. Are they alien craft on a mission, giant intergalactic jobbies from monsters that live in black holes or are they a message, harbingers of doom?
The Return Of Turd Nine From Outer SpaceSci - Fi B movie classic Plan Nine From Outer Space, Edward D Wood's masterpiece of incompetence has inspired many parodies. But has it also insired an alient race to vistit earth in their turd shaped space craft.
Power Of Positive
Political Correctness Gone Military
Psychologists Insights Into London Marathon
Feng Shui Shite (mystery, oriental, luck)
What Are You, Man Or Mouse?
At 4:30 am No One Can Hear You Scream
Homeopathy Overdose Protest
Looking At The Stars Psychological warfare
Did You See That?
Extrudedpolymerhenge
Stupid Evolution
Turd Nine From Outer Space
Return Of Turd Nine From Outer Space
You Just Can't Be Too Paranoid

What Happened Before The Big Bang: Part 1 - The Cosmic Mouse Turd
What Happened Before Big Bang: Part 2 - Thinking Outside The Bubble
Climate Change Science Scam
Forward Psychic Soldiers
Government by fear and panic
Luddites
The eXtasy factor
Divine Right Of Kings And Scientists
Scientists Announce Another Breakthrough In Hogwash
Ignobel Science Climate Change Tiger Index
A Maid Must Show 40% To Get Laid
Job For The Boys: Lap Dance Researcher
Slaney O'Toole
Change Politicians Don't Get Survivors: State Of Emergency Declared
You Just Can't Be Too Paranoid
Ten 4 Ten
Pigeon Racing - Sport Or Business Stone Throwing Chimp Shocks Scientists
Diabetic And Dangerous
You Can't Be Too Paranoid
Surveillance Society - Quis Custrodiat Custodes
Them Crocodile Snack Science
Pavlov's Cat
Fish Science
Scientists Have Not Made Sperm
Western Monkeys

INFORMATION & NAVIGATION

navigate

CATEGORIES

Fiction
Wide World - travel
Health / Wellbeing
Nature
Real Lives - biography
Past Perspectives
Philo & Sophia
Fools & Dreamers
Comment & Opinion Faith And Spirituality
Poetry Life And Times
Books
Entertainment
Music
Arts & Crafts
Environment
Food
Science & Tech.
Bog of Blogs

Visit The
BLOG INDEX
and keep up with our
comments around the
web

TAGS
Climate Change
BLOGS
Boggart Blog

Little Nicky Machiavelli

Boggart Network News

BOGGART BLOG ARCHIVES

BBselect001 BBselect002 BBselect003 BBselect004 BBselect005 BBselect006
MULTI MEDIA
Spoken Word
Video
Music
Graphic Art

LATEST POSTS & COMMENTS

BULLETIN
New Posts

September 2010 Uptight - The Blood Donor Experience
by fatsally
Once upon a time giving blood was easy, the atmosphere relaxed and people were encouraged to feel as is they were doing something good and worthwhile. Now, acording to fatsally's latest experience, a visit to the blood bank to offer a life saving armful is like The Prisoner meets Orwell's Big Brother. Bureaucracy has taken over and nobody is allowed to fel relaxed. Rules are rules.

August 2010

Uptight
by fatsally

Just been along to blood donors.
I've been going for years.
Loads of changes have occured over the time.

The first time I went, to a permanent centre in London, you could have a tin of Guinness as your post donating drink if you wished. A splendid idea but unfortunately it tended to attract the alcoholics, especially as ...

2010-09-01
Hello Saillor
by fatsally

The chattering classes are up in arms about the news that Britain and France are to pool their resources and share aircraft carriers.
The Mail today carries an excellent ...

Court Victory For Anti - MMR Campaigners.
It is the medical scandal that refuses to go away. Since its introduction controversy has surrounded the MMR vaccine because in a small number - and we must stress, a small number - of cases children develop serious and permanent side effects after reveiving the vaccine. Now at last, after following a tactic used successfully in the USA and keeping the word autism out of their case, lawyers working for the family of Robert Fletcher have won the first award of compensation for 'brain damage' reslting from the MMR vaccine.

Property Prices To Fall Again?Despite government eforts to talk up a recovery the economy remains stubbornly stagnant. It is unsurprising really, the UK economy still relies far too much on the housing and property market and with incomes being squeezed and house prices remaining so high they are beyond the reach of first time buyers there is little change of increased activity while unemployment continues to rise.

Food Will Cost The Earth
A bid by Australian mining giant BHP Billiton to buy Potash Corp of Canada draws attention to food price inflation, rising commodity prices in world markets and an impending global food supply crisis. It is not just potash, essential in food production, but other finite resources like oil that corporate giants are bidding to gain control of that should concern us. It's The Smell Of Alpha Males That Attracts Women
Women Can't Resist The Smell Of Alpha Males according to new research reported in today's Daily Mail science section. (If you think DSaily Mail and science should never appear in the same sentence just read on, this is good stuff.)
Alpha males have a smell all of their own, one that triggers certain hormonal reactions in women, the research paper reports ...

Last Of The Summer Whine
The zombie of British television will finally be decapitated and laid to rest this weekend, thirty years after the show was pronounced dead by everybody under ninety. The final episode of this ‘national institution’ will be shown sometime over the weekend but I don’t know when ...

... Conflicting Views On The Economic Recovery Little Nicky Machiavelli writes: Nobody seems to know what is going on in the global economy. Take these two articles on the state of the recovery ...
read full post Conflicting Views On Economic Recovery

Cameron in Babygate Puzzle
The birth of a healthy child is always a happy event but the birth of a child to the wife of a serving national leader is bound to attract close scrutiny. So do certain contradictions in reporting of circumstances surrounding the birth of David and Samantha Cameron's daughter mean the conspiracy theorists will soon be at work?

Do We Need GM Salmon
US authorities today began the process to approve the first GM animal for human consumption.
The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) announced a 60-day period of consultation and public meetings over whether to permit a GM strain of salmon to be eaten by humans, even though it has been called a "frankenfish" by critics. The approval process could take less than a year, and if it gets the green light the fish could be on the market in 18 months.
Environmentalists and scientists see the decision as marking a threshold. If it is approved it is likely to open the door to a large range of ...

GO TO Boggart Blog Back Catalogue for links to older posts...

COMMENTS AND RECOMMENDED READING AROUND THE WEB

Dumb Science Story Of The Week: Old People Forget Things
This week's bombshell from the world of science comes in a study of the behaviour of old people. One of the things the study looked as was the way old people repeat the same stories over and over. The scientists concluded this is because as people get older they become more inclined to forget things.

64% of Women Would Release A Sex Tape To Get Ahead
According to a survey of Generation Y users of the dating website Can Do Better, 64 percent of women would release a sex tape if it would help advance their careers.
The survey found that 45 percent of women also answered that they would sleep with their professor to pass a

Ageing Star Wallows In Steam Bath Not a celebrity sex scandal but an astronomy story as the Herschel telescope reveals a cosmic mystery that challenges existing ideas about the Universe

Hawking Says God Not Needed The Big Bang was the result of the inevitable laws of physics and did not need God to spark the creation of the Universe, Stephen Hawking has concluded. The scientist has claimed that no divine force was needed to explain why the Universe was formed. Crisis Boosts London's Dominance In Currency Trading
London, the world's leading centre for foreign exchange, increased its dominance of currency trading during the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression The average daily turnover in the City this year was $1.85 trillion (£1.2 trillion) - or 37pc of global turnover, according to a three-year report into currency dealing by the Bank of International Settlements.
Around $4 trillion changed hands around the world every day in April, up from $3.3 trillion in April 2007. ..

Brown Was Maddening Says Blair

Main talking point in today's news is the publication of Tony Blair's memoirs of his time as Prime Minister. Everybody in politics has been eager to find out what Blair would say about his successor Gordon Brown and their relationship during the ten years Brown served as DChancellor while Tony Blair was Prime Minister.

William Hague Denies Relationship with a man

Is There A Need For HD Audio
We wrote some time ago on the marketing of HD TV as the latest 'must have.' and on the great internet scam which involves development in internet technologies putting pressure on users to constantly upgrade hardware and software.

Darwin's Secret Experiment Acenscion Island is a lush tropical paradise 1000 miles from Africa and 2000 from South America. According to the laws of nature it should be barren and so it would be had the orginator of evolutionary science Charles Darwin not begun a great experiment there, one that is still running almost 200 years later...

The Frogs Are Starting To Simmer In The Land Of The Free
Savez Vous Que Vous Parlez Tres Mal Francais
Philip Salter at the Adam Smith Institute laments the lack of French taught in schools, and attributes this to schools preferring that children take easier subjects that will reflect well in the league tables.
There may be an element of truth in this, in that French or German at ‘O’ level is on a par with mathematics – there is either a right or a wrong answer. ‘Religious Studies’ on the other hand, require that you ...

A Solution To Company Pensions Crisis
The latest dismal news about company pensions should not obscure the simple fact that if you want to be sure something is done properly you should do it yourself. Saving for retirement is no exception to this rule. If you rely on your employer or pension scheme managers to do the job for you, the…

Obama Caves To UN Over Arizona Immigration Law
There can be few sights more humiliating for the American people than that of a US president kowtowing to a foreign leader or to supranational institutions. Continental Europeans are used to this sort of thing after decades of dominance by unelected bureaucrats in Brussels, and have grudgingly accepted over time the gradual and undemocratic erosion…

The BBC Pretended To Be Balanced On Climate Change
I have just been listening to Uncertain Climate, the first in BBC “Environment Analyst” Roger Harrabin’s two-part Radio 4 investigation into the politics of climate change. The announcer introduced it as a programme “on an unusual aspect of global warming that you won’t have heard in the news headlines”. This was touching, but would only… 31 August
Labour Leadership Soap Opera as Millibands Battle Each Other
As a major union hints that it may withdraw financial support for the party if either David Milliband or Ed Balls is elected as leader Labour leadership candidate Ed Balls has criticised the "daily episodes" of the "soap opera" surrounding fellow contenders Ed and David Miliband.

House Owners In Negative Equity For Another Four Years
Homeowners who bought their houses at the top of the prtoperty boom could face face four more years of negative equity, a housing group said.
The National Housing Federation (NHF) said the average buyer in England paid £216,800 for a home in 2007. Those people may now have to wait until 2014 before prices recover enough to make their homes worth more than they paid the federation added.

Afghan Bomb Attack Kills Four US Soldiers A roadside bomb attack in eastern Afghanistan has killed four US soldiers, Nato sources revealed yesterday.AFP quoted spokesman James Judge as saying that a home-made bomb, one of the main weapons of the Taliban, was used in the attack.The attack comes a day after seven US soldiers were killed in two bomb attacks in southern Afghanistan.These deaths add to the rising trend of casualties for Nato's International Security Assistance Force (Isaf). June and July were the worst months for foreign troop deaths since the

FOR OLDER COMMENTS from our blog index click here. MORE FAVOURITES

Home
Top Of Page
Back Catalogue
Our Comments
The Daily Stirrer
Boggart Blog Central

More Comedy
Comic Verse
Cartoons
A Tale Told By An Idiot
Fiction
Past Perspectives
Philo & Sophia
Fools & Dreamers (poetry)
Boggart Blog Daily
Little Nicky Machiavelli