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Gordfellas - Is the Labour Goverment really like Goodfellas (strong language)
Stories coming from Downing Street accusing Labour Prime Miniter of bullying and being tempramentally unstable should worry us all. We know little of what goes on inside the seat of government and what we hear makes it sound like the movie Goodfellas.

Political Correctness Gone Military or Identities On Parade
by Ian R Thorpe
2010-04-18
CREATIVE COMMONS: Attribute, non commercial, no derivs.
KEYWORDS: science, scientists, intelligence, mouse, snacks, research, crocodile, lligator, reptiles, saurian, human, humour, humor

We in the UK are bored with the election. In an election that is more Presidential than ever before the cranks and nutters have been pushed aside as attention focuses on the party leaders. We are being asked to get enthusiastic about three guys who between them have less charisma then leprosy. Life goes on however and if we look past politics to something else in the news last week we have a story truly worthy of the Political Correctness Gone Mad tag beloved of certain right leaning newspapers. If we were The Guardian on the other hand we would be screaming about a milestone in the advance of women's rights. Really we should celebrate, officialdom has set a new world record in stupidity and Britons don't hold anything like as many world records as we deserve to. At the beginning of last week an employment rights tribunal was meeting to decide how much compensation a young female soldier and single mother would get get because won the verdict against The Army after claiming she was discriminated against sexually and racially. Experts on this area of litigation estimated the award could be in the region of £100,000 which is about ten thousand pounds more than the people wounded in Afghanistan get for losing an arm or a leg. But hey, what's a leg compared to somebody's feelings. Just to put things in perspective a soldier who had lost a leg and received the £90,000 payout is now being asked to pay back a large part of his award because as a recognition of his service the the country the soccer team he had supported since childhood nominated him to carry a trophy to the podium for a celebration. He was seen by official walking proudly but very laboriously, wearing his team's strip which exposed his prosthetic leg, for about then paces the cup held in both hands and it was decided as he could walk without a stick he was not as disabled as he claimed. Tilern DeBique's ('nuff said, OK) complaint arose from her being disciplined for not appearing on parade while on active service. Now in the army failing to turn up on parade is really serious, not quite as bad as bad as shooting your commanding officer and of course nowhere near as bad as shooting an enemy who might be threatening to wipe out your entire platoon but who happens to have dark skin, but very very bad all the same. This insistence on punctuality is all about instilling the discipline needed in combat situation where soldiers need to be totally committed members of the unit because everybody's life depends on it. Being on parade is about being where you should be when you should be there and ready to do your job. And having managed that to follow orders, whatever those orders may be. In their turn officers have a duty to not put soldiers under their command at unnecessary risk. They are not duty bound to make special allowances for anybody on the basis of race, gender, religion or sexuality. Can you imagine out in Afghanistan a British officer (named Rupert or Jeremy - they all are) walking towards enemy lines carrying a flag of truce to ask the Taliban commander, "I say old chap, I know its a monstrous imposition but do you mind awfully delaying your attack for an hour, Lance Corporal Sillyknickers hasn't finished bathing the baby." Ms. DeBique, a Commonwealth soldier from St. Vincent and Grenadines reported that at her disciplinary interview her commanding officer told her that the Army was a 'war-fighting machine' and 'unsuitable for a single mother who couldn't sort out her childcare arrangements'. . She told her lawyers the British government was to blame for the unavailability of appropriate childcare as her sister who planned to move to Britain and be her child minder had been refused a visa. At her hearing Ms DeBique complained that the army expected her to be on call 24/7. She did not appear to understand that is one of the commitments implied when people sign up for the armed services. Still she was certain of support from the Politically Correct Thought Police who understand how unreasonable it is to expect a black person to be bound my the same rules and mores as their European colleagues. She was eventually awarded £17,000 in damages though she had asked for £1million. It's a big difference but £17,000 still seems generous for hurt feelings especially as it is more than the going rate for loss of an eye especially when we remember the person whose feelings were hurt is a single woman who can't be arsed with contraception but thinks her army colleagues should be happy to do more work in order to cover for her as she copes with the consequences.. From a satirical bloggers point of view the question is, how will this decision impact on the British Multicultural, Diversity Celebtating Army's effectiveness as a fighting force. To find out we can join Sergeant Bull as he drills his squad in preparation to embark for a tour of duty in Helmand Province. ALRIGHT YOU 'ORRIBLE LOT OF DIVERSE INDIVIDUALS, FALL IN! ... RIIIIIIGHT DRESS - I SAID RIGHT DRESS NOT CROSS DRESS. CORPORAL DIMMOCK! YES SERGEANT! WHY CORPORAL DIMMOCK ARE YOU THE ONLY ONE IN THE PARADE GROUND! BECAUSE SERGEANT ALL THE OTHERS HAVE GAINED PERMISSION TO MISS PARADE UNDER THE MULTICULTURALISM AND DIVERSITY REGULATIONS, ETHNICITY, SEXUALITY AND GENDER DISCRIMINATION SECTION SERGEANT! ALL OF THEM CORPORAL! YES SERGEANT! Oh well we might as well drop the parade ground voices and have a normal conversation corporal. Missing parade, I never heard such nonsense in my life. I know the single mothers are all taking time off to look after their kiddies because the nurses are all busy dealing with an inconsiderate bunch of layabouts who have been shipped back from the war zone with serious wounds but what about the rest? Where is Private Bulaywao? He's refusing orders sarge, says its a protest againt Army breakfasts including back pudding Sarge on account of black pudding being a racial slur. Racial slur. Private Bulaywayo wants to deny the lads a good breakfast because it offends his racial sensibilities. Are the English speaking nations the only ones who offend his sensibilities or would he have French soldiers give up their Boudin Noir and the Germans forsake their Svartwurst. Must Italians abandon their Buristo Negro or the Irish forego Putóg Dhubh just to protect Private Schwartz' sensibilities? Someone should tell him the British Army has been eating Black Pudding since before Agincourt. It helped us beat the Frogs, Spaniards and The Bosche and it will help us beat the ragheads. I wouldn't know about that Sarge but you can't say ragheads. There are Muslims serving in the British Army and they might be insulted. And where might those Muslims be Dimmock? Having an extended prayer break are they or did Schwartz tell them Black Pudding is made with pig's blood? What about Private Gaydon, what's his excuse? He reported to sick bay Sarge, he's having an emotional crisis because he broke a fingernail cleaning his rifle. Lance Corporal Tranney is needs post traumatic stress counselling because he broke the heel on one of his Manolo Blahnik's on a cross country exercise and Private Turette had an involuntary twitch during target practice and shot himself in the foot Sarge. Oh my good Godmother Dimmock, what is the army coming to? A multicultural force ready to embrace diversity and welcome people of all ethnicities, sexual persuasions, mental and physical disabilities and religions who want to serve their country Sarge. I never heard such a load of old codswallop in all my life Dimmock. You're the Corporal lad, it's you job to knock these freaks and oddballs into shape. Can't call then freaks and oddballs Sarge, they have chosen diverse lifestyles. Standing orders says we have to respect diversity. Diversity my hole, Dimmock. There is only one lifestyle for a soldier, the military lifestyle. Diversity is a luxury to be enjoyed in civvy street, it has no part of Army life. Ministry Of Defence don't think so Sarge. Private Perves has been arrested for making sexist and innuendo filled remarks to Technician Lesby Sarge and Lesby is on a charge for stabbing Perves. She complained about Perves making innuendo filled remarks? He's a soldier for pity's sake. Bit of ribald banter is to be expected, it's part of barracks life. He complained to Technician Lesby about the state of the barracks Sarge, said it looked as if someone had been munching the rugs Sarge. Is that all Corporal? She then hit him with a 40 pound pack Sarge and he said "Ooh I'm almost coming, hurt me again." Then she went for him with a knife and stabbed him three times. And where is the soldier I thought would never fail to do his duty, the one who loves the routine and the predictability of our life. Where is Private Asperg? He taught himself Mandarin Chinese in half an hour last night Sarge, now he is busy memorizing the Shanghai Telephone Directory. Poor lad, he don't belong in the army Dimmock but we can't discharge him for fear of falling short of our quota of misfits. How are the others teating him these days? He's having a rough time Sarge. When the other lads complained about him hogging the Internet connection and he threw a wobbler and smashed the TV, fridge and pool table they have been very cruel. They keep trying to engage him in light hearted and friendly conversation. That's soldiers for you Dimmock but you must try to stop them, we could get in trouble. What beats me is why these fr... diverse people join up. The government insists Sarge, you can't turn down a job you are offered or your benefit is stopped. Girls from Christian families are having to work as topless waitresses in lap dancing clubs or as telephone agents for sex chatline companies. Dwarves are sent for jobs as shelf fillers, there are epileptics out there working as house painters and visually impaired people driving buses. It's the Equal and Human Rights Employment Policy Sarge. Sounds like they are pushing square pegs in round holes Dimmock. A fair point well made Sarge but really they are ticking boxes and letting a computer make decisions. That way Sarge, nobody can ever be sued. Black Pudding - Wikipedia RELATED POSTS:
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