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Extrudedpolymerhange
What's the daftest thing you ever heard? How about a bunch of hippie scientists and weirdie-beardies trying to recreate the jurney of the Bluestone sarsens from the quarry in the Preseli mountains, Wales to Stonehenge. Daft eh? But doing it with styrofoam blocks instead of granite, that just does not make sense.
Extrudedpolymerhenge
(Some of those old hippies take Lord of the Rings and Spinal Tap a bit too literally)
http://greenteeth.blog.co.uk/2005/06/25/extrudedpolymerhenge
Ian R. Thorpe
2005-06-25

Before we get started, I have to say Glastonbury has not been the same this year. All the usual things are going on but since that flash flood made the toilets overflow people just seem to be going through the motions. (that intro was provided bythe Greenteeth Multi Media Corp. Tired old jokes department)

Since the phrase "reality TV was coined the people who make TV programmes seem to have lost their grip of reality, or perhaps they never had much of a grip on reality anyway. Even when the word "celebrity" is left out of the title the content just gets more surreal. Just as an aside I am disappointed that celebrity reality shows have fallen out of favour before anyone got the idea to do Celebrity Stools, a show in which members of the public vote (£1.00 per call) on which celebrity laid any particular one of six turds; the whole thing presided over by Davina McColon - no relation to the person who presents Big Brother of course. (I am just reclaiming that joke as it popped up on a TV show last week after I did it on a very small radio station about two months ago. It is not the first time people on TV have used my material without so much as a "by-your-leave." That Jonathan effing Ross had better watch his back I can tell you.)

Sorry, where was I. Ah yeah, reality. The main reality offering this solstice week was a schlockumentary featuring a project to build a life size replica of Stonehenge using Polystyrene blocks. Polystyrene, how Spinal Tap is that?

To build the original, the ancients moved huge blocks of granite weighing over fifty tons well over a hundred miles, crossing swamps, rivers, the Severn estuary and countless other obstacles. The TV project featured a few weirdie-beardies running around with blocks of extruded plastic weighing a couple of kilos on their heads. It isn't rocket science is it? And really if it was rocket science what would that prove. A rocket is just a bomb with some kind of container sitting on top of it. You would just need a hell of a lot bigger bomb to launch a fifty ton block of granite than to shift a weirdie-beardie and a couple of kilos of plastic.

Leaving aside the question of how the ancients moved those stones quite simply because we do not know, we should ask why? Why stones from that place, why that particular design and not a pyramid and why people thought by mainstream academe to be primitive monkey men who could barely find their arse with both hands would want or need to build a sophisticated stellar observatory that would plot the precession of the equinoxes. Most people think Stonehenge is the work of the Druids, but it predates their era by at least a thousand years. But why would the beaker people, the inhabitants of Britain in the bronze age feel the need to study a cosmic phenomenon that was first recorded only in the nineteen fifties? Possibly it was because life was so boring before TV that the best thing to do of an evening was observe the movement of the constellations through the frame of a trilithorn. Trouble with that idea is the full precession cycle takes 25,900 years to complete. Even Patrick Moore was not around for the turning of the last astrological age. Precessional astrology was known to the Egyptians of the first Kindom, the Sumerians of Mesopotamia (Iraq) and the most ancient civilisations of South America, yet European civilisation was ignorant of it for over 2000 years.

Plenty of material there then to make a great documentary series without a single block of polystyrene in site and all the weirdie - beardies safely enclosed in their university campus environment.

So why is this kind of stuff not being shouted from the rooftops. Simple, the exploration of pre-history has strayed too far into those inconvenient areas in which we find that the cultural foundations on which our world stands are constructed from nonsense and superstition.

A little reality is a dangerous thing.

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