17 March 2010
Why Vote Con, Lab, Lib Dem? None of the above? Maybe blogland can help you decide.
by ianrthorpe
The election is only just over a month away if the popular assumption of May 6 is right. Gordon could hold on, hoping for a miracle, until early June but that would only prolong his agony.So who are you planning to vote for?
Political blogger Iain Dale whose day job is in publishing has commissioned ...
16 March 2010
The Evil Bastards Who Want To Save The Planet
by Ian R Thorpe
It’s official! Greening up your lifestyle make you a more evil person.
Don’t buy fair trade chocolate or you will be seized by an uncontrollable urge to beat up and rob little old ladies.
Buying organic fruit and vegetables will provoke an irresistible urge to inflict...
15 March 2010
F1 Returns And In The Kitchen The Gentle Yellow Is Drying Spectacularly
by fatsally
I bet you all thought I wasn't going to mention the rturn of Formula One
.
No such luck.
24 cars on the grid.
3 new teams...
March 15
Many A True Word
The trials and tribulations of being a teenage girl - or a tenage girl's gay best friend...
March 14
The Evil Green Bastards Who Want To Save The Panet
by Ian R. Thorpe.
So you heard all the politically corect propaganda and you thought going green wouls show you are a good person. Wrong. According to scientists adopting a green lifestyle is more likely to make you an evil, selfish bastard...
March 14
2012 - Armageddon?
by ianrthorpe
Too busy with tekkie stuff to write a blog today - here's a link to an old audio thing.
As doomsday fans and those inclined to religious hysteria gear up for 2012 when all sorts of ancient and ...
13 March, 2010
Climate Change Evangelists: Own A Fragment Of The True Hockey Stick.
by ianrthorpe
Alert readers may have noticed we at Boggart Blog take delight in excoriating a certain kind of scientist. It is not all scientists we ridicule, just those who insist on behaving as if science, like some oppressive religion is beyond question and doubt. If people insist on claiming science is sacrosanct and to question it is heresy they must accept being treated as religious funny mentalists ...
March 12
Male Voters: Sam Or Sarah?
by Ian R Thorpe
British politics is becoming more and more like the hysterical schlockfest that passes for public debate in America. Boggart Blog is quite sure this is an undesirable trend but in service of our readers we are prepare to ...
11 March 2010
Drugs Online
by Ian R Thorpe
One of the few growth industries is the selling of fake prescription drugs online. So long as the drugs sold as viagra, vallium, ritalin etc are just sugar pills there is no harm done. It's when people buy the real thing the trouble starts...
2010-03-10
England Plan To Score And Score Again
by fatsally
Gadzooks!
The England changing room has been bugged.
The eavesdroppers have listened in to team tactics and incentives for the upcoming World Cup competition.
Boggartblog now reveals just what those tactics and incentives are...
8 March 2010
Civil Service Strike Doesn't Paralyze The Country
by Ian R Thorpe
Have you noticed how the Civil Serrvice strike today has caused the country to grind almost to a halt?
7 March 2010
Dodgy Donor Scandal, As Ashcroft Squirms We Name Labour Non Dom
by Ian R Thorpe
As the shockwaves from the dodgy donor scandal continued to reverberate through the Conservative Party hierarchy over funds donated by non domiciled businessman Lord Ashcroft who for tax reasons does not live in Britain although for...
6 March 2010
Something Good To Be Said For Labour After All
. by ianrthorpe
Readers sometimes complain that Boggart Blog is always more enthusiastic in attacking Labour than the Conservatives. There is some justification in this criticism but we have good reasons for our editorial policy. It is not that we find Conservative policies more...
4 March 2010
Comedian On Trial For War Crimes?
by Ian R Thorpe
There’s a little catchphrase running round a US site I sometimes use, it accompanies the asking of questions people are likely to dislike being asked, questions like “So how much tax do you pay then Lord Ashcroft,” or “When did you stop beating your wife Prime Minister.” The catchphrase is “curious minds need to know.”
It strikes us that people are just not curious enough these days because...
2 March 2010
Mouse Science And Even More Mouse Science
by fatsally
Isn't it about time we started doing something about the incredible cruelty to mice perpetrated by scientists?
Boggartblog has previously brought you many stories concerning mouse science but now we are getting rather more worried
28 February 2010
Now We Know - Conservatives Do Not Want To Win.
by ianrthorpe
Plat the video for this, Conservative Contender at the Greenteeth Labyrinth web site.
Some of us were not surprised by the poll published today that shows the Conservatives lead over Labour is down to 2%. We have suspected for a long time something like this would happen. When Boggart Blog asked Mr CAmeron for his...
27 Feb 2010
Good News For Older Men, New Treatment Blasts Prostate Cancer.
by Ian R Thorpe
One of the biggest health worries for men my age is the possibility of developing prostate cancer. It is astounding to think the tiny prostate gland, no bigger than a walnut and tucked away warm and safe up our bottom holes can cause so much...
26 February 2010
Bet You Think This Post Is About You
by fatsally
I love the names of racehorses. Retired Sun editors must be able to have a better off than maybe retirement by making up names for racehorses.
My favourite at the moment is Mister Pointment....
25 February 2010
Victoria's Secrets
by Ian R Thorpe
Last year or was it 2008, time goes so quickly in blogland, we reported on a pair of Queen Vic's Knicks coming up for auction and fetching a right old bundle. The outside (50 inch waist) bloomers were auctioned at the salerooms of
24 Feb 2010
Gordfellas - Is The Labour Government Really Like Goodfellas?
Stories coming from Downing Street accusing Labour Prime Miniter Gordon Brown of bullying and being tempramentally unstable should worry us all. We know little of what goes on inside the seat of government and what we hear makes it sound like the movie Goodfellas. Read this hilarious pastiche then decide.
23 Feb 2010
Fish Science Shows They're Smarter Than You Think.
Recently we have reported extensively on mouse related science involving the use of snacks to get mice to behave in ways that appear intelligent to scientists. We have confined ourselves to reporting projects involving mice and snacks only while important work has been going on involving crocodiles and the science of snacks.
20 February 2010
Tiger Woods Says: Sorry, But Don’t Forget I’m The Victim Here.
Following on from the Tiger Woods car crash and the Tiger Woods, prodigious shagger scandals we now have the Tiger Woods prolific apologiser saga. But who was Tiger apologising too? Hilarious take on celebrity apologies...
Those Whom The Gods Would Destroy Those whom the gods would destroy they first make mad. It's a phrase politicians would do well to remember, especially politicians in the UK Labour party whose obsession with soicialist ideology and creating a fair society has led to their losing touch with reality...
19 Feb 2010
Sex Education Kerfuffle
Sex education in schools is always a provocative topic, on the one hand religious groups think there should be none, on the other the Politically Correct Thought Police believe there should be lots, with practical demonstrations. And what can government officials do when caught between the two sides? Turn somersaults?
17 Feb 2010
The World's Strongest Beer
by Ian R Thorpe
So what is the world's strongest beer? Carlsberg Special Brew, Tennants Super, HSL which is a kind of Ace for the seriously brain damaged? For those not in the know about beer or Viz characters Ace, a weak, cheap beer best drunk when fortified with barbecue starter, is the poison of choice for Octavius Tinsworth (Eight) Ace. Well wrong, wrong and wrong. The strongest beer in the world now is Sink The Bismarck at 41% Alcohol By Volume from Brew Dog brewery in Aberdeen...
16 Feb 2010
Labour Death Tax: Gravediggers To Collect It.
by Ian R Thorpe
The Labour plan for a death tax to fund care of the elderly carries the stink of death. This rotting corpse of a government only dares to announce such plans because they know they are not going to be re-elected and are hoping to hold onto traditional Labour seats in poor areas by...
2010-02-16
Life In Denmark
by fatsally
Oooohh!!! Great news! John Simm, aka Sam Tyler from Life On Mars, is to play Hamlet in a new production at The Crucible in the Autumn.
Oh and here's the rest of...
2010-02-15
Dennis The Politically Correct Menace.
by ianrthorpe
This truly is the end of civilisation as we know it. Dennis The Menace has had a politically correct makeover. Thanks to pressure from the BBC we’re told, the publishers of Beano Comic have already yielded to the politically correct whiners and stripped Dennis of his...
13 Feb 2010
Shock, Horror! British Spies Are Devious
by Ian R Thorpe
When the front page of The Guardian erupted in Daily-Mailesque outrage last week following the shocking revelation that undercover agents working for MI5, the internal security unit of Military Intelligence, are sometimes devious and
2010-02-13
Alistair Campbell’s Faux Tears Seed Real Jokes
by Ian R Thorpe
I’m feeling a tad lazy today so since Blair’s spin Doctor Alistair Campbell effected a very theatrical emotional moment of television and thus spawned a litter of jokes here are a couple of the best...
2010-02-12
NHS Prosthetist And The Patient With Two Left Feet.
by ianrthorpe
We normally hear of two left feet only in a metaphorical sense when judges on Strictly Come Dancing are slagging off the specially selected contestant who liked the idea of picking up a big fat fee but can’t be arsed trying to dance properly because poncing about in shiny trousers is not their thing.
There must be some people somewhere born with two real left feet however because the NHS, politically correct as ever...
Our Car Of The Year - The Toyota Scadenfreude
It turns out their much hyped Prius, the car of choice for the kind of B list celebrity who likes to talk publicly of how green they are but when they have to go anywhere hire a chauffeur driven limo, as well as not being very reliable is not very green. Scroll down to read how the green credentials of the Toyota Prius fall short of the target...
2010-02-08
Terry The Tiger? Or Not?
by ianrthorpe
Why has Boggart Blog let the whose hilariously sordid John Terry affair and all those opportunities for puns like “you just don’t expect defenders to score that often” pass with only one brief comment from fatsally last week you might well ask.
To be honest it’s an editorial policy of ours not to report non – stories and “Footballer shags...
2010-02-07
There Was Spam, Spam
by ianrthorpe
A song schoolboys of my generation used to sing , The Quartermaster’s Store was learned from our Dads who had sung it as soldiers during World War 2. It had innumerable verses, all simple and easily remembered....
2010-02-06
New McItaly. Next The McHomeopathic.
by ianrthorpe
We have been entertained and intrigued by the kerfuffle over the introduction of McDonald’s new product The McItaly burger.
Foodies, especially Italian cuisine purists, have gone...
6 Feb 2010
Snow Bother
by Cleo Hart
Its been a little while since my last blog, largely because I've been waiting for France Telecom to connect me to the internet, but I have been busy too. So I've had lots of time to think about a good topic, and the one that keeps on coming back time and...
New McItaly. Next The McHomeopathic Burger.
by ianrthorpe
We have been entertained and intrigued by the kerfuffle over the introduction of McDonald’s new product The McItaly burger.
Foodies, especially Italian cuisine purists, have gone apeshit over...
5 Feb 2010
Toyota Allegro Reminds Us Of British Carmakers’ Golden Age.
by Ian R Thorpe
News of the recall of millions of Toyota cars because of a design fault that causes the accelerator to stick so the car goes faster when the driver wants to go slower has made a lot of older drivers nostalgic for the twilight of the golden age of British ...
4 Feb 2010
The End of The Affair
by fatsally
Gordon knew something was wrong, deep in his heart.He had noticed that the public didn't close their eyes anymore when he kissed their lips. (They had always done so for Tony) There was no tenderness anymore in their fingertips - a worrying....
read all The End Of The Affair at Boggart Blog
Jesus Of IKEA
by ianrthorpe
It has taken us a while to catch up with this very exciting story in fact if Ian's wife, a complete technophobe,had not made him log onto the IKEA site to order something for her we might well have missed it altogether.
Jesus has appeared in a...read all Jesus Of Ikea at Boggart Blog
3 February 2010
Don't Blame it On The Bump
by fatsally
Concerning news for all you ladies who are, or are hoping to become, preggers.
For decades us girlies have been able to be totally irrational and scatterbrained for at least a year and blame it on our hormones or....
2010-02-02
Wenger Proves Football Is Getting Sillier
by ianrthorpe
Those whom the Gods would destroy the first make mad. This saying is often wrongly attributed to the Ancient Greek playwright Euripades but was in fact first uttered by Wilf Eadthball the Slaghoughton Times and Observer football writer in...
1 February 2010
A Little Bit Of Knowledge Is A Dangerous Thing
by fatsally
I know times are hard and people are setting themselves up as small businesses and that is all well and good, much better to work than to get depressed being fucked about by the Jobcentre, but you'd think people would...
30 January 2010
Massive Overdose Protest
by Ian R. Thorpe
Te Merseyside Skeptics Society (or more accurately the selective Skeptics Society as they only seem to be skeptical about what it is fashionable to be skeptical about) are going to protest about himeopathy today by gathering outside Boots Chemist, Liverpool and taking massive overdoses of homeopathic remedies...Right, who gives a shit, but this is a very funny post on the irrationality of the protesters without supporting homeopathy Homeopathy: Massive Overdose Protest
28 Jan 10
Poverty: Labour Succeeds Where Thatcher Failed.
Ian R Thorpe
At last, a success New Labour can claim as their own. Under the party's rule over the past twelve years the gap between rich and poor in Britain has gone bak to the level of 50 years ago. We get a view from the MP for Rawtenborough since 1832 Hector Gobbett - Broadsides on what this means for unemployment, the revovery and the election prospects of conservative and labour...
Keep Health Out Of Politics
Have those government sponsored health scares about fats, alocohol, chocolate and ciggies ever got up your nose? No? They would if you knew the special advisors dreamed them up over brandy and cigars after a jolly good lunch.
The Truth About The Economy, Crime And Everything Else.
by Ian R Thorpe
2010-01-26
The Labour government has been telling lies again, about unemployment, the economy, education, and crimes. And they are really really angry that us ungrateful oiks refuse the believe the official statistics that prove what a good job the government is doing.
25-01-10
Snack Science Reveals Unsuspected Crocodile Intelligence
by Ian R Thorpe
Recently we have reported extensively on mouse related science involving the use of snacks to get mice to behave in ways that appear intelligent to scientists. We have confined ourselves to reporting projects involving mice and snacks only while important work has been going on involving crocodiles and the science of snacks.
2010-01-25
You Don't Say!
by fatsally
Yet another science related story from your intrepid Boggartblog reporters.
It may seem we are concentrating on science at the moment, but quite honestly there isn't much else to have a laugh about and
2010-01-21
Money Fruit - It Grows On Trees
by ianrthorpe
Hands up anyone who as a child or teenager was not told by their Dear Old Mum or Dad, "Money doesn't grow on trees you know."
One, two… two more over on the right and one at the back ready to make a quick exit if the debt collectors show up. I had no idea so many leading Labour politicians read our blog.
While Lib Dems Invisible Man Clegg and old shiny face Cameron have spent the....read all Money Fruit
Willy Wonka-Kraft Lands On Cadbury Chocolate Factory
The takeover of British Chocolate Maker Cadbury by American cheese into plastic food processor Kraft has gone through. But how will it affect our favourite treats. Boggart Blog's fatsally speculates...
Frightening Lack Of Imagination And Merit
by Ian R Thorpe
14 Jan 2010
While we old dinosaurs at Boggart Blog and The Daily Stirrer grump and grumble about bogus science (stopping mice getting alzheimers disease by giving them mobile phones for example) in fact the creation of useless science projects is linked to the work of another government department that is in the forefront of creating jobs to drive the economic recovery, the Ministry of DOISBUM...
2010-01-09
More Demented Mice Science – With Mobile Phones
by Ian R Thorpe
On of the reasons Boggart Blog loves scientists so much is the way that like religious fanatics they just refuse to give up on totally bonkers ideas. Ideas that the one that convinces them making mice behave in totally unnatural ways can teach us valuable lessons about ... read all More Demented Mouse Science.
2010-01-08
Human Women To Bear Intelligent Mouse Babies?
by Ian R Thorpe
Regular readers know how much we love scientists here at Boggart Blog. There is seldom a week goes by in which their weird and whacky research projects and the surreal conclusions they draw from the results do not give us at least... read all Human Mothers To Bear Intelligent Mouse Babies
2010-01-08
The State of The Nation Address, Brought To You By Proud Sponsors Weatherproof
by fatsally – 11:06:02
I have long had the feeling, and indeed have voiced it in these pages, that Barack Obama is America's answer to Tony Blair, Tony Blair Lite if you would. He has the ... read all The State Of The Nation Address Brought To You By
2010-01-07
Soft Southerners In The Snow.
by Ian R Thorpe
We in the north have always known southerers were a bit on the soft side.
Additional proof, if any were needed, came in one of ... read all Soft Southerners In The Snow
2010-01-06
Naked Hindus Protest Against Global Warming
by ianrthorpe
You know people are getting srriously insane about global warming when something like this happens. Thousands of Hindus gathered for ... read all Naked Hindus Protest Against Global Warming
2010-01-05
A different kind of snow in Spain sends people bananas
by Ian R Thorpe
It may come as a small comfort to if you are trapped in your home by snow, have been stuck on a motorway all day while trying to travel to work or your ski holiday has been delayed because airports are ... read all A Different Kind Of Snow In Spain Sends People Bananas
2010-01-04
Madness Gone Politically Correct
by Ian R Thorpe
The doughty campaigners of Boggart Blog have often been astounded by the sheer irrationality of many things done in the name of science or the pronouncements of “scientists.” Some of the most extreme instances of... read all Madness Gone Politically Correct
2010-01-03
There's A Guy Works Down The Co-Op.......
by fatsally
Go back a few posts and you will come across the remarkable story of Tommy Cooper's face appearing on a pie.
Look at the comment thread and you wil find the thoughts inevitable turn to Jesus, toast and... read all There's A Guy Works Down The Co-Op
2010-01-03
Gold Diggers Of 2010
by Ian R Thorpe
No, this is not a blog about somebody reviving those 1930s Busby Berkley musicals though with the current television obsession with dancing it would be no surpise if we hear it is...read all Gold Diggers Of 2010
2009-12-31
Well You Did Ask Mr. Wiki
by ianrthorpe
Just before Christmas it was revealed that a climate scientist, green part activist and Wikipedia moderator had been involved in the editing of over 5000 files containing....read all Well You Did Ask Mr Wiki
2009-12-30
Monarch In Trouble?
by Ian R Thorpe
It is almost New Year and politicians are queueing like charter flights over Palma in July to tell us that the economy has turned the corner, the millions Al Gore has made from... read all Monarch In Trouble
2009-12-29
Tommy Cooper Appears In A Pie - Just Like That
by ianrthorpe
In the week between Christmas and New Year there is a dearth of news. Nothing happens. So we must turn for our blog material to roundups of momentous events of the past twelve months. And what could be more momentous than....
2009-12-28
A Christmas Story...ahhh
by fatsally
Once upon a time there was a little mobile phone. He wasn't particularly big or clever, but he could send and receive text messages and take photos as well as doing phone calls, and most important of all he was very well loved by the boy who owned him.
But this is a consumer dominated society, and some people simply don't understand about...
2009-12-27
Who is The Master ?
by ianrthorpe
We on this blog have taken the piss out of Barack Obama many times. While not actually believing some of the things we said about him Boggart Blog was...
The Great American Pantomime
by ianrthorpe
2009-12-24
Greetings and Merry Christmas to all our readers HO HO HO. We hope you have some great plans for the days up to Twelfth Night. Parties, concerts, maybe a little snuggling up with your sweetie and of course a ...
Your Country Needs You To Spend, Spend, Spend
by fatsally
2009-12-23
Disturbing news from those omnipotent gods, the economists.
They have identified the people responsible for the current lack of economic growth, remember we are the only G20 country still in recession.
And it's all down to those irresponsible people trying to reduce...
Copenhagen Climate Summit - The Last Word
by ianrthorpe
2009-12-22
OKOK we admit it. We said the Copenhagen Climate Change Summit was going to be a waste of time, just politicians spouting hot air, Gordon Brown giving your...
Defying the Tyranny of Consumer Christmas
by fatsally
2009-12-21
December 21st, only three shopping days to go till the shops will actually be closed for a full 24 hours!!!!!
But I'm living life on the edge.
As of Saturday we had nothing to....
21 - December 2009
Cheque In To A Future Of Medieval Serfdom
The Boggart Blog Irrelevant Christmas Charity Appeal. This year as well as our appeal for on behald of Fletcher Memorial Homes for seperated socks we are throwing our weight behind a charity that works to provide shelter over the festive season for abandoned hi - vis jackets...
23 December 2009
Join The Christmas Resistance
Ever felt like asking yourself what this annual insanity called Christmas is all about and then taking yourself off to a Buddhist monastic retreat from December 21st to Jan 6th thus letting Christmas pass you by completely? More and more people are rejecting the idea that we can all be happy if we buy loads of stuff we do not need, will never use and after it has cluttered up our living space for a year will throw out just before next Christmas to make way for next year's Christmas tat? If you have you are not alone. Welcome to the Christmas Resistance.
link url: Join The Christmas Resistance
Defying the Tyranny of Consumer Christmas
Manipulation is everywhere from the X Factor to Christmas, media hype is the tool that influences the sheeple to think what their masters want them to think. The careers of people as diverse as Michael Jackson and Barack Obama as well as the political success of Tony Blair are all built on nothing more substantial than spin. Repeat the lie often enough, that Michael Jackson is the most talented performer ever, that Barack Obama represents the dawn of a new era in politics, that Saddam posed a threat to the west, and enough people will believe it. So what can you do to regain your freedom. You can start by resisting the tyranny of the consumer Christmas
link url: http://www.greenteethmm.com/christmas_tyranny.shtml
A Child Is Born On The Bog
The people who run television channels have a weird idea of what will entertain us at Christmas. Or do thhey perhaps understand better than we do that what the public wants amid all the Bacchanialian feasting and Lupercanian unsrestrained shagging of the modern Christmas festival what we really want is Roman Circuses?...
A Child Is Born On The Bog
January Is Getting Earlier Each Year
Maybe it is we who are getting older but it seems while Chistmas lasts longer, January comes a little earlier each year...
January Getting Earlier
2009-12-21
Defying the Tyranny of Consumer Christmas
by fatsally
December 21st, only three shopping days to go till the shops will actually be closed for a full 24 hours!!!!! But I'm living life on the edge. As of Saturday we had...
2009-12-21
Chequing Into A Future Of Medieval Serfdom.
by Ian R Thorpe
Singing hey ho and a hey-nonny-no I was making my merry way along Cordwainers Lane, the rhythm of my steps accompanied by the jangle of credit cards and cash cards in the leather purse that hung from my belt when I came upon a hag who sat by the road and wept most sorely. “Why weepest thou so...
2009-12-19
The Religion Of Oral
by ianrthorpe
It is with regret we note the death of U.S. Evangelical preacher and pioneer of television evangelism Oral Roberts. Back in the days when there were no illegal wars and climate change could only be experienced by
2009-12-18
Copenhagen: Obama fails to inspire action on climate change.
by ianrthorpe
Word went out around the World Climate Change Christmas Booze Up And crapfest yesterday, "The Ego Has Landed." Those who truly believe the US President is the Obamessiah come to...
2009-12-17
Nike Stands By Its Tiger As Porn Star Alleges Affair With Woods
by ianrthorpe
The thunder of stampeding feet shows no sign of decreasing in volume as the stampede of sponsors running away from Tiger Woods continues. Latest blow for the Tiger Woods brand image came when a porn star who alleges...
2009-12-15
Olympic Weightlifter Gives Birth While Training
by ianrthorpe
When I saw this rather bizarre news story of a female weightlifter from Chile who has previously competed in the Olympic Games. She was in training for one of her sport's... READ ALL Weightlifter Gives Birth While Training
2009-12-14
The Time Has Come The Walrus Said....
by fatsally
Indeed the time has come to start spending the money neither we, nor the banks, have got, but Gordon the Terrible has the printing presses working 24/7 in order to maintain a constant supply of the old filthy lucre to slip through our fingers into the hands ... READ ALL The Time Has Come...
2009-12-13
Penalty Time
by fatsally
Sitting in The Head of Steam, the pub on Huddersfield railway station, enjoying a refreshing half whilst awaiting our homeward bound train, my husband looked up at...
2009-12-13
We''re all going to die, WTF
by ianrthorpe
Two items in yesterday's news caught our eye. The first was good ol' "Green" Gordon Brown's pledge that he will give lot's of our bankrupt nation's hard earned to "developing nations to shield them from the effects of global warming while...
2009-12-12
Creepy and Evil Christmas Pressies
by ianrthorpe
Jenny Greenteeth spent most of yesterday organising the Boggart Blog Editorial Team secret Santa thinly which got the rest of us so excited we spent most of the...
2009-12-11
Transparent Boggarts
by fatsally
As Boggartblog often makes snide and cynical comments at the expense of our politicians, it was decided today that in the interests of transparency we too should...
2009-12-11
X Factor: Cowell Calls Facebook Group Manipulative.
by ianrthorpe
Boggart Blog is throwing its weight behind the Facebook campaign ( 550,000 members and rising ) to stop the single recorded by the winner of the X Factor from...
2009-12-10
Solipsism: symptoms and and the cure.
by ianrthorpe
Solipsism, if you are not familiar with the word, can be defined in two ways:
(i) the theory that the self can be aware of nothing but its own experiences and states
(ii) the theory that nothing exists or is real but the self.*
I don't know where this belief or philosophy origniated but it was very popular with...
2009-12-10
Don't You Just Love THE SUN
by fatsally
http://greenteeth.blog.co.uk/2009/12/10/don-t-you-just-love-the-sun-7546597/
2009-12-09
The Iraq Inquiry Cab Driver Of Mass Destruction
by ianrthorpe
While we have all been focused on really big events of global importance this week, the Tiger-Woods- inability-to-keep-it-in-his-trousergate scandal for example, the Chilcot Inquiry into who told what lies to whom in the run up to...
2009-12-08
Infamy, Infamy, They've All Got It In For Me
by fatsally
Poor old Gordon, there's Ian having a go and then I come along to stick the boot in too. Still I don't suppose he actually reads Boggartblog and if he does he must be more unstable than...
2009-12-08
Brown: A Lust For Glory
by ianrthorpe
Right, that’s it. I used to have a bit of sympathy for Gordon Brown, the big clunking arse of British politics. I used to think Brown had inherited an impossible situation from Blair and could not admit it without seeming to be trying to blame his...
2009-12-07
An NVQ In RETAIL
by fatsally
Sezjez has been looking for some gainful employment whilst she decides what she wants to do with her life.
She went down to the local youth employment office, Connexions, and registered, saying she...
7 December 2009
Copenhagen Prostitutes And Global Warming
by ianrthorpe
In an effort to project Copenhagen, this week hosting the climate changev summit, as the most politically correct city in the world the city's mayor...
6 December 2009
I Accuse The Elk In The Orchard With The Fermenting Apples
by fatsally
A sinister turn in the animal world, highlighting the increase in drunkeness and violent behaviour, a trend which is found more commonly amongst humans.
In the past we have brought you amusing, yet innocent, tales of scrapes animals have got themselves into when under the...
5 December 2009
Why Wouldn't I Want My Son To Be A Plumber?
by ianrthorpe
Ian Jack writing in The Guardian asks "Would you want your son to be a plumber?"
Course I bloody would, next time he needed...
It Won't Be Easy
England's group for next summer's world cup looks a pushover but...
It Won't Be EASY
4 December 2009
You Can't Light A Fire With A Laptop
by fatsally
You Can't Light A Fire With A Laptop by fatsally @ 2009-12-04 – 17:50:11
Great news for journalists and publishers this week was the internet's growing realisation that you literally get nothing for free.
The impending demise of Wikipedia was heralded with...
3 December 2009
Brought To You By Durex
After his recent slapper related PR disasters Tiger Woods needs a new sponsor. As the world's top golfer has alwas been so deadly around the hole Boggart Blogs suggests the makers of Durex condoms might be able to use him.
3 December 2009
Question Time: Gordon Brown Loses The Plot
by ianrthorpe
After Obama's official announcement of a troop surge aimed at ending the conflict in Afghanistan Gordon Brown spoke today during...
Afghanistan: Brown Finally Loses Ther Plot
2 December 2009
Obama And Brown Hounded By Afghan Del Boy Brigade.
by ianrthorpe
Barack Obama has finally announced what we all knew back in August and even Gordon Brown knew last week. America is sensing (I meant sending) more troops to Afghanistan, an additional 30,000 soldiers in fact. 9,000 are setting off later this...
1 December 2009
Looks Like A Job For …… BICYCLE REPAIR MAN!
One of my favourite Monty Python sketches though it is remembered by few other people which may prove I am more of a Python geek than I thought, featured a Superhero called Bicycle Repair Man. A bike mechanic superhero? you might well ask...
2009-11-30
Learning To Grow Hashish At College
by ianrthorpe
It had to happen, there have been courses available in subjects such as Klingon studies, the Jedi Philosophy and...
2009-11-29
Cockermouth and Penistone - Not A Scary Willy Story
by fatsally
Today, for the first time ever, the towns of Cockermouth in Cumbria and Penistone in Yorkshire are united, being mentioned in the same article by....
Exclusive: Pebbles Wants To Move
by fatsally
2009-11-28
You will all have had your memories refreshed regarding SuBo of Britain's got an X Factor, as her debut album has gone straight to number one with the highest...
Golf and Marriage are Dangerous Games.
by ianrthorpe
2009-11-28
Golf and marriage may seem to have little in common but they are in fact both very dangerous games. In golf you can easily lose your ball and in marriage a man may easily lose his balls both...
2009-11-27
A Job For The Boys: Lap Dance Researcher.
by ianrthorpe
The University of Leeds School of Social Science is advertising for a researcher to undertake research into "The rise and regulation of lap dancing and the place of sexual labour and consumption in the
2009-11-26
Harrassed In The Hindu Kush
by ianrthorpe
Barack Obama is rehearsing the speech in which he will tell the American due to the brilliant success of his stategy he can now announce
2009-11-25
If Ali G met Belle De Jour
ianrthorpe
In her first press interview since outing herself as the real Belle De Jour, research scientist Dr. Brooke Magnati who used earnings from prostitution to fund her...
2009-11-25
The Strictly General X Factor Celebrity Election
by fatsally
In the previous post Ian wonders how much lower reality television can sink, likening it to the Roman circus, with the public lapping up the ritual humiliation invoked by progs such as I'm a desperate-attention-seeking-has-been-who's-bit-hard-up-for-cash-and-daytime-chat-show-offers, LOOK AT ME...
READ ALL The Strictly General X Factor Celebrity Election
2009-11-24
Bread And Circuses TV (more reality from the celebrity jungle)
by Ian R Thorpe
Boggart Blog has said it before (we probably haven’t but who remembers every word we have ever published?) but the march of civilisation has definitely gone into reverse. Nowhere is this more apparent than in the field of low budget “reality” television or Bread and Circuses TV as it is...
READ ALL Bread and Circuses TV
2009-11-24
Quick Thinking Criminal or Slow Witted Plod?
by fatsally
We normally bring you stories of really stupid criminals, like the man who drove the getaway car sporting his own personalised registration plate, or the chap who ...
READ ALL Quick Thinking Criminal or Slow Witted Plod?
2009-11-23
Afghanistan, Financial Crisis, Climate Change - Forget it, Katie Price has quit the jungle.
by ianrthorpe
Big news today is nothing to do with any of the major crises happening around the world, not with a government in meltdowm or the most frightening story, the one about new EU Prez. Van Rumpy Pumpy pledging to steer the union towards a ...
READ ALL Afghanistan, Financial Crisis, Climate Change - Forget it, Katie Price has quit the jungle.
Rompuy - Pumpy Rules EU
The newly reformed, even less democratic than before European Union has its first President. But will Herman Van Rompuy achieve anything or will his name just inspire rumpy-pumy jokes?
2009-11-21
Monty Python and the Brussels Sprouts
by ianrthorpe
Controversy rages over the choice of Herman Van Rompuy (pronounched rumpy to rhyme with pumpy) to the EU presidency. Stung by British Rumpy Pumpy jokes the French-language Belgian regional newspaper La Capitale printed a list of our... READ ALL Monty Python And The Brussels Sprouts
We wish you a merry Christmas (but not in Dundee)
by ianrthorpe2009-11-21
Christmas will not be Christmas in Dundee this year. All references to the religious holiday have been dropped from the switching-on ceremony for the city’s festive lights. Instead of the traditional Christmas Lights switch-on, residents will be ... READ ALL We Wish You A Merry Christmas - But Not In Dundee
2009-11-20
A Fit And Proper Person
by ianrthorpe
The dark forces of football oligarchy are ganging up on little Chester City but it looks like one rule for the minnows, another for the big clubs. The FA have ordered Stephen Vaughan, Chester’s owner and main financial prop to sell his shareholding because he is not a “fit and proper person” to be...READ ALL A Fit And Proper Person
2009-11-19
Playing Politics With The Dear Old Queen
by ianrthorpe
The Queen’s Speech by convention, wile setting out the government’s programme is not about party politics nor is it supposed to be about a failing government shafting the opposition that will soon replace them by making it impossible for the new lot to...READ ALL Playing Politics With The Dear Old Queen
2009-11-17
The Real Queen's Speech Redux
by ianrthorpe
It is well known that every year HM The Queen writes her own speech for the state opening of parliament and that every year The Government goes to great lengths to ensure the draft is lost and Queenie has to read the speech prepared for her by the Prime Minister.
Last year one of Boggart Blog's unseen reporters managed to obtain...READ ALL The Real Queen's Speech Redux
2009-11-17
A Pretty Maid Must Show 40% To Get Laid.
by ianrthorpe
I'm an unlikely Daily Mail reader but this link, sent to me by a mate who knows how much Boggart Blog loves pointless research stories, pricked my curiosity. It will take you to an item that claims a "scientific" study has revealed that a woman should show 40% of her flesh if...READ ALL A Pretty Maid Must Show 40% To Get Laid.
2009-11-16
President Rimmer Obama
by ianrthorpe
Looking around American blogs today I see there is a kerfuffle about President O's deep bow to the Emperor Of Japan. Typically the Politically Correct Thought Police...
READ ALL President Rimmer Obama
2009-11-15
Octomum
by ianrthorpe
To avoid misunderstanding the title is not a new Bond film or a character from tonight's (eagerly anticipated) Doctor Who adventure...
READ ALL Octomum
2009-11-14
Things Just Keep Getting Better!
by fatsally
The other day Boggartblog brought you the news that we're just not drinking enough, tipping the unfinished bottle down the sink wastes an incredible amount of the old Mucho Collapso and so we should all ensure that we drink every last drop, a practice Boggartblog has advocated for years. But things just keep getting better...
READ ALL But Things Just Keep Getting Better
2009-11-13
Swine Flu - No worries, you'll just gain a few pounds
by ianrthorpe
The government of control freaks are keeping up their fear and panic campaign to turns us all into gibbering wrecks who cower in fear of swine flu. Boggart Blog has always said this scare is simply about making...
2009-11-12
Marking Computer Says No AsTop Writers Fail Their English A Level.
by Ian R Thorpe
Boggart Blog makes it our business to invigilate the progressive education lobby for sings of loonyness. An we have to be honest, they keep us busy.
One of the most crackpot ideas to come out of the academic clique that supervises the dumbing down of standard was the recruitment of a marking computer to assess A level papers.
On being given samples of writing by great authors including... READ ALL Marking Computer Says No
2009-11-11
Simon Cowell Secret Revealed
by Ian R Thorpe
Boggart Blog has not been following The X Factor this time round because, well let’s be honest, we have done all the cheap jokes in the past. Also the biggest X Factor joke this year is...READ ALL Simon Cowell Secret Revealed
2009-11-11
Bottoms Up!
by fatsally
Good news for drinkers - the Waste and Resource Action Programme has estimated that Britons are pouring £470 million worth of wine down the plughole...READ ALL Bottoms Up
2009-11-10
Going Batty For A BJ
?Very Short Post but funny enough to be worth a visit
2009-11-09
Evolutionary Science Classes In Junior School Might Be Counter Productive.
A new plan to reform the primary curriculum proposes teaching evolutionary science to kids aged 4 to 11. This article shows how such an approach might be counter productive.
2009-11-08
Bloggers Who Stare At Goats
by ianrthorpe
You have all seen adverts for the new Hollywood film release Men Who Stare At Goats. Well no need to waste your money to find out what it is all about...
2009-11-08
Google Pledge Not To Be Creepy
by ianrthorpe
Speaking on American television Google CEO pledged that his company would not become a creepy gang of world domination freaks like Microsoft did some years ago.
Asked by the interviewer how from their dominant position on the internet Google could avoid this Schmidt adopted a really bad Russian accent and said...
2009-11-06
The Fag Drag - Will Banning Cigarettes Spawn A New Industry?
by Ian R Thorpe
Still detmined to be the killjoy government Labour are passing new anti smoking laws. But do they really think banning the display if cigarettes in shops will stop anybody from smoking?
2009-11-05
Kidman’s Alien Sex Fetish
by ianrthorpe
Statuesque blonde Australian actress and sex symbol (if you like that sort of thing) Nicole Kidman has confessed in a celebrity interview with GQ magazine that in one of her love affairs she had explored “strange fetish stuff.” Though Kidman
2009-11-05
....
The New Guy Fawkes
by ianrthorpe
Where are Catesby and his co - conspirators when we need them? Where is our gunpowder plot this bonfire night? Not that I'd want the buggers to blow up The....
2009-11-04
Stimulating The Radio Active Rabbits
by Ian R Thorpe
An American friend sent me this list of some of her favourite items funded by money from the US Government's stimulus bill.
•$300,000 for a GPS-equipped helicopter to hunt for radioactive rabbit droppings at...
2009-11-03
Stupid Criminal Of The Week Returns
by ianrthorpe
It is with great pleasure we announce the return of the Boggart Blog stupid criminal of the week award.
In the early days of Boggart Blog we would feature this occasional series whenever we encountered a news story about...READ ALL Stupid Criminal Of The Week Returns
2009-11-02
The eXtacy factor
by ianrthorpe
Well Professor Nutt certainly kicked things off with his claim that drugs like E, Cannabis and LSD are no more dangerous that alcohol and tobacco. While we agree... READ ALL The eXtacy factor
2009-10-29
E versus J & B
I know we say this quite frequently but where would this blog be without those whacky folks who feed us material by doing pointless research. The latest finding, announced by the appropriately named ... READ ALL E versus J & B
Tonguing Willie
by ianrthorpe
What a headline!!! Worth 3 exclamation marks. Well every now and them we Boggart Bloggers like to show up the Tabloid headline writers for the rank amateurs they really are.
So as this story is not going to concern hot celebrity head action what... READ ALl Tonguing Willie
2009-10-28
Old Chinese Proverb: Beware Jumped Up Dictators With Ill Thought Out Scheme
by fatsally
Lord Stern of Brentford, who is quite possibly a climate change czar, or at the very least a marquise, called yesterday for everyone in the world to cut out meat in an effort to... READ ALL Old Chinese Proverb: Beware Jumped Up Dictators With
2009-10-28
The King Is In His Altogether....
by fatsally
Anatole Kaletsky, writing in The Times today applauds the creation of an Institute for New Economic Thought, claiming that this is a direct result of ... READ ALL The King Is In His Altogether
Classy Comic Or Rampant Rabbit
There is no doubt Michal MacIntyre is one of the top stand up comedy acts around at the moment. He has a good personality, quickfire delivery and some ...
You Wanna Show A Liddle Respect Or You get A Visit From Mr. Baseball Bat
by fatsally
2009-10-26
This story came to light last week and it has troubled me, probably because as a teacher I have had parents say the same thing to me.
15 year old Daniel Walton was sent home from school because he refused to...
READ ALL You WannaShow A Liddle Respect
2009-10-24
Trees For SPAM
by ianrthorpe
You may have been under the impression that goal of the Copenhagen Climate Summit in December is to agree a binding treaty to fight global warming, I know I certainly was. We have been misled however. According to leaders of a militant
2009-10-23
ASDA Sat Nav Can't See The Wood For The Trees
by ianrthorpe
We love Stat Nav disaster stories at Boggart Blog so when we found a report of an ASDA delivery van driver showing a level of blind faith in science and technology that would ... READ ALL Asda Sat Nav
2009-10-22
Blue Blair’s New Nazi Best Buddies?
by Ian R Thorpe
To be perfectly honest I never held out any hopes that the Cameron led Conservatives would be much different to New Labour’s “progressive left” neo nazis. David Cameron, a slick, silver tongued, smooth face ex public schoolboy for whom spin mattered ... READ ALL Blue Blair's New Nazi Best Buddies
2009-10-22
Things Not To Do In The Delivery Suite: A Guide For Prospective Fathers
by fatsally
When I were nobbut a lass, there were many jokes, cartoons and comedy sketches involving birth.
In all these instances birth was depicted as something that took place behind closed doors whilst the husbands paced up and down in the corridor, awaitng the news ... READ ALL Things Not To Do In The Delivery Suite
2009-10-21
The First Aid Technique Formerly Know As Heimlich Manoeuvre
by ianrthorpe
It was a surprise to hear sometime in the past few days that we are no longer allowed to refer to that trick where when someone is choking on a fishbone, pretzel or.... READ ALLFirst Aid Technique Formerly Known As...
2009-10-21
Biscuitgate
by fatsally
As speculation grows once again regarding plans to oust Gordon from the leadership of the Labour Party and therefore the Prime Ministership of the UK you have to wonder where the loyalty of his...READ ALL Biscuitgate
2009-10-21
The First Aid Technique Formerly Know As Heimlich Manoeuvre
by ianrthorpe
It was a surprise to hear sometime in the past few days that we are no longer allowed to refer to that trick where when someone is choking on a fishbone, pretzel or...READ ALL First Aid Technique Formerly Known As Heimlich Manouevre
2009-10-20
Adipose Offsetting
by fatsally
Well, not only do we have several Olympic gold medalists, hold The Ashes and boast the current and elect Formula World Champions but also, according to The Sun, Britain is home to the world's fattest man...REAL ALL Adipose Offsetting.
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