Boggart Blog Central
(All the news that can possibly be made up)

Humour /Satire /Entertainment/Philosophy/Life
Humour, or humor if you must, is in limited supply in the world but if you are looking for laughter look no more. The Boggart Blog team bridge the generation gap, the gender divide and leap across the many dimensions of the multiverse to bring you a funny and sometimes crazy take on whatever is in the news plus a few things that are not. In the past decade trust in the media has diminished so you would be justified in asking "Can we trust Boggart Network News?" Well yes you can, we are proud to say we have never sacrificed a joke for the sake of the truth. Delve into Boggart Blog but be prepared to find yourself taking life less seriously.

Creative Commons: Some rights reserved (non commercial, attrib, no derivs.
All reproductions in whole or in part should link to Greenteeth Multi Media Productions

find keywords on this site

Enter keywords& choose search engine:

Google: Yahoo: MSN:

This free script provided by
JavaScript Kit

and keep up with our
comments around the

Click On Any Highlighted Title To Open The Full Post

Evidence (As If You Needed Any) That All The Green Movement Are Insane
Earth Hour is an event that is aimed at raising awareness of climate change. The idea is we all switch off the lights, tele, computers, highly addictive internet web sites life Facebook, life support machines, trains, cars, aircraft engines, and everything that causes carbon emissions for one hour to remind us what ...

The Nerds Are Taking Over The World - We Did Warn You.
The SxSW festival in Austin, Texas used to be a music, specifically a rock festival. Then like Glastonbury commercial interests began to muscle in. Gradually the musicians were all but driven out and now the nerds have taken over. Nerds can be identified by several characteristics ...

My Google, Why Have You Forsaken Me?
Internet search engine company Google says its latest algorithm update is aimed at downgrading the ranking of content farms such as demand media and associated content. It seems however that the small, independent site web site owners are the ones being hit hardest. Is this any surprise as such sites cannot afford to pay Google to diect traffic that way. The move reduces blogging to glorified social networking and drives unusual content to the margins of the web

Will America Cope With The Fall Of It's Middle East Empire
by Ian R Thorpe.
America has suffered a second traumatic blow to its global political hegemony as the regimes it has propped up for decades in the middle east crumble. Mubarak in Egypt and Gadaffi in Libya were unsavoury tyrants to be sure but they were pro America and willing to collaborate with the west. Now on the heels of the financial meltdown we face a global oil crisis.

Once More Unto The Breach Dear Friends
For bloggers who like to take a less than serious view of the world the last few days have been dire. Lybia, Yemen, Inflation, the terrible Earthquake in New Zealand which although it is about as far away is is possible physically feels very close to home because we share a language and culture and many of us have friends or relatives living there.I was seriously thinking of giving the blog a few days off and getting on with another project. Then my spirits were lifted when I saw ...

Malawi: Where Farting Is A Crime.We in the west have endured the gradual erosion of our civil liberty, human rights and personal freedom in the name of politically correct thinking but while we look to the developing world as offering a simpler, more common sense approach to life it seems their situation is worse. A new law in Malawi has made farting a crime. At least in the west we can still fart at will.
It's Life Craig, But Not As We Know It.
Since the publication of Frankenstein and maybe before that it has been the ambition of many scientists to discover the science of life itself and thus create new life in the laboratory. Now modern adances in delusional thinking have led science to move beyond dreams into the realms of fantasy fiction and claim they have created artificial life when they have not. menus: [ science -technology ] ... [ comedy, humour ]

by fatsally

Just been along to blood donors.
I've been going for years.
Loads of changes have occured over the time.

The first time I went, to a permanent centre in London, you could have a tin of Guinness as your post donating drink if you wished. A splendid idea but unfortunately it tended to attract the alcoholics, especially as ...

Hello Saillor
by fatsally

The chattering classes are up in arms about the news that Britain and France are to pool their resources and share aircraft carriers.
The Mail today carries an excellent

It's The Smell Of Alpha Males That Attracts Women
by ianrthorpe

Women Can't Resist The Smell Of Alpha Males according to new research reported in today's Daily Mail science section. (If you think DSaily Mail and science should never appear in the same sentence just read on, this is good stuff.)
Alpha males have a smell all of their own, one that triggers certain hormonal reactions in women, the research paper reports ...

Last Of The Summer Whine
by ianrthorpe

The zombie of British television will finally be decapitated and laid to rest this weekend, thirty years after the show was pronounced dead by everybody under ninety. The final episode of this ‘national institution’ will be shown sometime over the weekend but I don’t know when ...

... 2010-08-26
by fatsally

Our congratulations go out to Dave and Sam Cam on the unexpected arrival of their little bundle of joy. Dave will obviously now be cancelling the rest of his holiday so he can take his paternity leave and then he ...

The Labour Leadership Contest Doesn't Get Interesting
by ianrthorpe

By rights we should have plenty to blog about. It's silly season after all. Silliest story this week however was that scientists think alien life forms may turn out to be ...

2010-08-24 Ding Dong Din, Pussy's In The Bin
by fatsally

A shocking story in the news today regarding a grey-haired, plumpish, middle-aged woman going to stroke a cat and then casually tossing it into a wheelie bin and walking calmly ...

Just Call Me The Waco Kid
by fatsally

Remember in Blazing Saddles when the drunk in cell number one comes round, introduces himself as Jim to Bart, the sheriff, then says that he used to be 'The Waco Kid'.
He then explains that he turned to drink because everywhere he ...

Fight! In The Coalition! Fight!
by ianrthorpe

Rumours of a split in the coalition continue to proliferate. Labour party figures and left leaning media people are frantically trying to cause a split between ...

Rubiks Cube
by cleohart

So I read the other day that there is a group of scientists sitting in a room trying to suss out the Rubik's cube. They have been there for 30 years trying to work out the minimum number of moves needed to solve the billions of...

Quiz Of The Week by fatsally

You buy a packet of bath salts in the supermarket, Do you:
a) Dissolve the bath salts in your bath water and enjoy a leisurely soak?
b) Crush the crystals and then snort them to obtain a legal high?
c) Decide to ...

A Shaggy Cat Story If Ever I Heard One.....
by fatsally

The England spin bowler Graeme Swann appeared in court this week charged with drunk driving.
Swann was spotted by police driving a Porsche in an area prone to burglaries, which I didn't realise was a stoppable offence but there you go.
The police decided to pull Swann over for ...

Don't Work Too Hard - Nobody Appreciates You For It
by Ian R Thorpe

George Turklebaum worked as a proof readers for a publishing company in New York, he had been with the form 30 years and was said to be a very quiet, unassuming man who did not care much for socialising.
There was never an issue about George's diligence however, his bosses

More Science Says Booze Is Good For You (alcohol benefits arthritis sufferers)
by Ian R Thorpe

Now you know us, we Boggart Bloggers are sceptics through and through, especially when it comes to those branches of science such as mouse science, snack science ans monkey science that seem to exist for the sole purpose of telling us everything we enjoy is bad for us. We suspect people involved in
Open Season On Cyclists
by Ian R Thorpe

Best news from the coalition government so far is the announcement that speed cameras are to be scrapped. "Why is this good news?" road safety fans will ask, "does Boggart Blog approve of the carnage on our roads?" Well, if there was carnage on our roads we wouldn't but ...

Obama Goes To Lockerbie
by Ian R Thorpe

A nice little scandal is brewing over the letter The White House sent to The Scottish government which was leaked in the Sunday Times yesterday. It confirms that Barack Obama was lying when he said he was ...

Fernando Holds His Breath...
by fatsally

A dull and boring German Grands Prix exploded into controversy when the Ferrari team spoke to Fellipe Massa:
"Fernando is faster than you. Confirm you have received this." Obviously the bit they didn't need to say was ...

Something For The Weekend or Scary Willy Story #1,259
by fatsally

From the Barnsley Chronicle:-
"A woman was shocked when she saw a man who had tried to fix her strimmer waving his penis around."
The woman had been having ...

Cameron Shoots Himself In The Face.
by Ian R Thorpe

Shooting yourself in the foot is an easy thing to do. Shooting yourself in the face however requires a special talent for imbecility. Even former U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney could only manage to shoot his best friend in the face.
Prime Minister David Cameron, until this week, was doing so well in his handling of ...

Treasure In The Heart Of Every Man
by Ian R Thorpe

A junior minister in the coalition government, Crispin Blunt, has been talking about prison reform. Now Mr. Blunt who if we read blunt in the sense of dull, lacking a sharp cutting edge is perhaps appropriately named (although Rupert Pharquhar – Twatty might be even...

Is it just me...
by cleo hart

Having not been in the country much for the last couple of years, I have not watched a whole load of TV. Bizarrely, this summer I have been unsuspectingly sucked in to Big Brother, although I think I'm the only one. I have seen...

Growth: Government versus private sector
Ian R Thorpe

As Labour supporters lost in Limbo scream for more stimulus spending on government projects to get the economy back into "growth" I had to...

Cameron's Big Society
by ianrthorpe

So David Cameron wants us to become a big society?
Does that mean as part of the NHS cuts we can wave goodbye to all those paronizing

Don't Listen To Him He's (Phtang Phtang Drrrrrr Yibble Yibble) Mad
by Ian R Thorpe

If Peter Mandelson's memoirs are to be believed and that's a big IF (I saw a clip of Lord Mandy walking in a London Street today and I'd swear he left a silvery trail behind him) Tony Blair while still Prime Minister said Gordon Brown was unfit to be ...

Did Golf Chiefs Show Favouritism To Tiger Woods
by Ian R Thorpe

In the British Open golf championship yesterday play was suspended due to bad weather shortly after one-in-the-hole specialist Tiger Woods had begun his round.
The official reason given by golf authorities in a news conference was that ...

The Devil Is In The Detail
by fatsally

There are some strange people in the world.
Jesse Thornhill from Oklahoma tried to rundown his landlady in his people carrier.
But then Jesse could be considered to be a little bit ...

Former Lib Dem MP Lembit Segways Into Insanity.
by Ian R Thorpe

Since losing his seat at the election former Lib Dem MP Lembit Opik has been looking for ways to regain his position on the periphery of the public stage. Having failed in his attempt to launch himself as a stand up comedian Lembit is now trying to get himself arrested for riding one of those ridiculous ...

Which Came First, Grants Or Grant Funded Scientists?
by fatsally

It's that time of year again when you get to hearing of how universities subsidise the 'solving' of fatuous questions.
The question to be solved this year was "Which came first, the chicken or ...

Trouble in Obama - topia
by Ian R Thorpe

You may remember that the G20 conference a couple of weeks ago Barack Obama was screaming for more stimulus spending to "restore growth to the global economy" and demanding the nations that are still solvent underwrite his ...

Police Responsible For Moat's Death Say Thought Police
by Ian R Thorpe

It was inevitbable that some sections of the media (and we may or may not mean those organs like The Guardian nand The Mirror here) are trying to blame the police for causing the ...

Single Sex Can Damage Your Health Too
by fatsally

Following on from my story the other day regarding sex in cars being bad for your health and pride, Boggartblog can now reveal that pleasuring yourself can be

A Beginner's Course In Shooting Yourself In The Foot
by fatsally

What a brilliant British GP!
Jensen Button and Lewis Hamilton were in the mire on Friday, their McLaren team having tried to imitate the Red Bulls' "blown diffuser", which directs exhaust gases onto the aerodynamic bodywork at the rear of the car thus...

The Raoul Moat Case: What It Says About Our Society
by Ian R Thorpe

The manhunt for Raoul Moat reached its inevtiable conclusion to the great relief of most people as it mean there would be no "urgent newsflash" interruptions at vital moments in the World Cup final.
The analysis of how the criminal justice system could...

The Octopus Predictions And Snack Science
by Ian R Thorpe

All the media has been making a big deal of the psychic Octopus who has been correctly calling resluts of games in the World Cup. Boggart Blog has, you may recall, over the past two years reported many instances of snack science being used to...

Sex In Cars Can Damage More Than Your Health
by fatsally

A survey by has found that having sex in a car is dangerous. Doh!
Even when the car is stationary, with the handbrake on and the engine off, people still get hurt.
Muscles get pulled, knees hit, necks cricked and backs ricked and that bloody

2010-07-09 Spooky Or What?
by fatsally

Ever get that feeling that some things are more than coincidences? One thing happens that's a bit odd, then another and when the third one shows up there you are looking over your shoulder and thinking "Is there something going on here?" ...

2010-07-08 Solar Powered Plane To Start Commercial Service
by Ian R Thorpe

Great news for fans of the planet, a solar powered plane has completed a 24 hour flight, flying through the night without comsuming a drop of fossil fuel.
The ultra light aircraft named The Zephyr, which can rise to...

The Politics Of Embarrassing Diseases
by Ian R Thorpe

Yesterday we reported on the imminent changes to the way we elect our government and how Nick Clegg's obession with developing his plan for Alternative Votes (AV) will help him take over the world is causing him to morph into ...

Who Is Nick Clegg Morphing Into?
by Ian R Thorpe

I'm getting seriously worried about Nick Clegg. There was always something of the arrested adolescent about him but recently his performances had taken on the aura of a young lad who doen't have many friends and spends too much time alone in the shed at the end of ...

Wonder Woman Goes Goth
by Ian R Thorpe

The new look Wonder Woman (see below) is a bit of a contradiction. If the idea of replacing the star spangled panties, oh so 1950s scarlet bustier and the whole per playboy sexless glamour thing with something less overtly aimed at...

Psychic Power
by Ian R Thorpe

This is not by best piece ever by a long way but I just had to write that headline.
Lancashire psychic Joe Power (see, I told you I had to write the headline) a wannabe celebrity psychic whose by line is (portentous chords) “He sees dead people didn’t see trouble coming his way from live(ish) people when he fell foul of the Merseyside Skeptics Society who question his...

Guardian Readers Are The New Daily Mail Readers.
by Ian R Thorpe

We’ve all gone matey matey now and the coalition means we can’t take the piss out of Conservative voting NIMBYS and people who’re not as posh as they think they are. Even some of the old tribal hatreds that gave us so much...

One Great Nation
by cleohart

All through the World Cup its all been about EN-GER-LAND, and the Scottish, Welsh and Northern Irish team were opponents, (not even in it were they? - I didn't really follow until our inevitable demise), couldn't score a notch in a 2010-07-01
The Bucket Of Water Song
by Ian R Thorpe

I wrote a long blog for today but the news about the next financial crisis, Afghanistan, unemployment, rising prices and all the heartache and the thousand...

England Players Exhausted
by Ian R Thorpe

Among the reasons being put forward for the England football team's abysmal performance in the World Cup is exhaustion.
We have the longest season in the most...

New Political Leaders let us down.
by ianrthorpe

As satirical bloggers we have been waiting for David Cameron to fall flat on his face. It's disappointing then that he has emerged from the G20 conference of political leaders as the figure the world looks to for...

What Goes around, Comes Around
by fatsally

Well, you have to admit there is a certain symmetry in life, even if you have to wait 44 years.
I thought it was quite ironic that England were denied a goal that clearly was over the line, (and yes the fans at the stadium were correct, the ref was a wanker... didn't his...

The Ball Was In
by cleohart

Football. The World Cup. There's no escape, so I might as well cover it. On Sunday we lost spectacularly against our nemesis, Germany. To be fair, we were shit, and have been throughout the contest according to all commentaries. Really we should think ourselves lucky we didn't achieve ultimate embarrassment by ...

The Worm In The Apple iPhone 4
by ianrthorpe

At Boggart Blog we make no bones about it, we do not intend you to take us seriously. It is always a tad upsetting then when people do insist on taking us seriously and especially so when those people are fans of Apple Technology. Apple fans behave like Scientologists and like Scientologists hate it when...

British Childen Do Us Proud In Fatness League
by ianrthorpe

A report in The Daily Telegraph says:
"Startling new research on childhood obesity published today suggests that British kiddies spend an average of £372 on sweets and chocolate-based treats every year. That’s equivalent to...

Hand Wringing Left and the Plight Of The Pensioners
by ianrthorpe

As the handwringing continues over some of the cuts in public spending that "will force pensioners into poverty" is still the big talking point on left wing blogs that take themselves too seriously it continues to...

Swimming In Social Responsibility
by ianrthorpe

A comment on yesterday’s blog post about the budget complained about the apparent small - minded vindictiveness of the cost saving measure that abolishes the free swimming in public pools entitlement for ...

They Shoot Horses Don't They?
by fatsally

Play will resume today in the longest tennis match ever.
The score was level last night at two sets all and 59 games all in the final set, when the match was halted due to bad light and possibly the fact that..

The Budget: Labour's Economic Genius
by Ian R Thorpe

This being a big day for editors of both piss taking blogs and shit stirring blogs (I have one of each) newspapers had to be bought this morning.
The Daily Telegraph lived up to expectations, I mean you don't buy a pig and expect it to say "baa" do you? The Guardian however, the New Labour house mag, surpassed ...

World Cup: Fabio Says We Must Improve.
by Ian R Thorpe

It's make or break for England in the World Cup today folks. By 6 pm it could all be over and the pubs will be packed with fotball fans ...

Pies And Prejudice or How Southerners Can Learn To Love The North
by Ian R Thorpe

George Osborne did his much anticipated budget speech today but to be honest it has been anticipated so much for so long I couldn’t be arsed listening. Wimbledon holds few attractions and watching bald blokes analyze the World Cup is my idea of 2010-06-21
There's Always Someone Worse Off Than Yourself
by fatsally

Okay, okay, England are playing abysmally and will probably not make it hrough to the knock-out stage but pity ...

Graeme who? - An Englishman's Pain
by Ian R Thorpe

Some bloke called Graeme has just won the US Open golf championship and he's one of ours.
It came as a total surprise to me as I have never heard of him. Now as you well know I am not the most ...

Should The Cuts Hit The NHS
by Ian R Thorpe

Having slept quite late this morning, (well I woke up at a normalish time had a brew and then George Osborne appeared on the Andrew Marr show on television and sent me back to sleep,) awareness only kicked in when the talk show thingy, Big Question, was in progress. The main topic was how will the anticipated public spending cuts affect the NHS ...

Talking Bollocks The Sun Is
by Ian R Thorpe

I was drawn to a headline in the Currant Bun today because it said somefink like "If talking like Yoda you are a stroke you may be having."
Being somewhat experienced in...

A Cure For Recession Blues
by ianrthorpe

Everybody has the recession blues it seems, the unemployed who are bullied to get back to work but the harder they try to find jobs the unemployeder they get, the elderly whose pensions are eroded by inflation, the graduates who...

Break It To Them Gently
by fatsally

You may have noticed how Boggartblog generally likes to poke a bit of fun in the direction of scientists, especialy the ones who are happiest torturing some poor rodents and then telling us how this makes human beings prone to getting...

Goodluck to Nigeria
by Ian R Thorpe

A scientific report issued last week (and that I'm not going to take the piss out of for once) shows that superstition works. People who carry good luck charms or have little rituals they perform before tacking difficult or stressful tasks were shown to perform significantly batter than those who...

Titchmarsh in sex show storm.
by Ian R Thorpe

Cosy cardigan wearer Alan Titchmarsh migh be somebody you asociate with compost and cucumbers but the wellies and wheelbarrow brigade's hero, the idol of the Rich Tea set is realy a secret sex...

Welcome To Our World Cup
America's football (soccer if you must)team is taking part in the World Cup again. Lets hope their gallant performances as underdogs, and their good natured sportsmanship are not treated with the same indifference as four years ago. After all, though a sports team alone cannot undo the damage done to America's international reputation by the Bush administration, its a start.

Kick Ass Obama verus great British tradition
by ianrthorpe

We hear on the grapevine, a very fast grapevine so maybe its a Japanese knotweed vine) that Barack Obama told David Cameron if he has to he will...

2010-06-12 England vs USA (twice, World Cup and Oil Spill)
by Ian R Thorpe

England take on the USA twice this weekend. First David (the contender) Cameron will go head to head with Barack (the pretender) Obama over the oil spilled into American coastal waters from the Deepwater Horizon oil rig. Obama is...

Rooney to Ref – Swive you, you aersling.
Boggart Blog World Cup Exclusive by Ian R Thorpe

We hear from our dung beetle in Durban that foreign referee’s officiating in England’s group matches and whose command of the English vernacular is poor are attending classes to...

Soul Singer to challenge Obama
by ianrthorpe

We are trying to stay off politics right now as everyone is sick of it all. We are especially trying to stay off American politics as that will not be interesting to us British again until 2012. But I had to blog this story 2010-06-10
Breast Implants Not To Be Used As Airbags
by fatsally

A Russian model, Iren Ferrari, is suing a Swiss airline after her brest implants burst on a flight between Moscow and Zurich. Her lawyer claims there was not enough room between the seats and poor Iren hit 2010-06-09
Rooney, The Old School Factor and The World Cup
by Ian R Thorpe

Wayne Rooney is in trouble already, apparently he told a local referee to "fuck off" during a "friendly" football game in South Africa. Though the match was supposed to be a gentle pipe opener for the England team Rooney was continuously...

Heather The Leather
by fatsally

Do you ever get that deja-vu feeling, especially when listening to the news?
I sometimes wonder if there are any truly new stories or whether the news, like fiction, has only...

Stupid Criminal of the week: Copper puts thief in intensive care
by Ian R Thorpe

Copper puts teenage thief in intensive care sounds as if Gene Hunt might be involved. In today's politically correct police force wouldn't the copper be in a lot of trouble for....

Before you can polish a turd you must first pick it up.
by ianrthorpe

Still being lazy I'm afraid. I got this from a friend in Texas and think it is brilliant...
There is an annual contest at Texas A&M University calling for the most appropriate definition of a contemporary term. This year's term was "Political Correctness...."

World Cup: The idea is to win but England players don't get It by Ian R Thorpe
Far be it from us to suggest footballers are thick, I mean thinking the idea of a penalty shootout is to put the ball as far wide or high of the goal as possible is a...

2010-06-04 Wake Up And Taste The Coffee
by Ian R Thorpe

Aren't you glad all that politics and coalition bollocks has taken a back seat for a while. To be honest we were getting fed up of taking the piss out of the buggers. Still, every silver lining has a cloud and without...

Touched With The Tar Balls
by Ian R Thorpe

From a blog titled Obamateurism Of The Day:
President Obama had been talking about the ecological disaster that will ...

Will Cheese save The Economy
by Ian R Thorpe

As the world teeters on the edge of another financial crisis even more catastrophic that the 2008 toxic bankers meltdown a member of the government has put forward a proposal to save the economy by...

Engerland, Engerland, Engerland
by fatsally

World cup fever sweeps the nation, fanned by the manic tabloids.
Forget oil spills devastating the gulf coast of America,
Forget Gaza bound aid flotillas being fired upon by

Touched With The Tar Balls
by Ian R Thorpe

From a blog titled Obamateurism Of The Day:
President Obama had been talking about the ecological disaster that will result from the Deepwater Horizon oil spill and blaming BP for problems that had...

2010-06-02 Will Cheese save The Economy
by Ian R Thorpe

As the world teeters on the edge of another financial crisis even more catastrophic that the 2008 toxic bankers meltdown a member of the government has put forward a proposal to save the economy by exporting...

Snail Scientists help in fight to understand Crystal Meth
by Ian R Thorpe

A report published this week in The Journal Of Experimental Biology tells us scientists who have been using snails to study the effects of methamphetamine on human addicts have gained valuable insight into why Crystal Math is...

Politicaly Correct Thought Police Try To Ban Dwile Flonking
by Ian R Thorpe

Just when you thought it was safe to be an eccentric individual again, just when you thought the defeat of Labour at the election and the "anyone but you bastards" message the people gave to the Peoples' Party, just when you thought...

2010-05-28 Health Fascism With Teeth
by Ian R Thorpe

Heath news: A survey out today has "proved" that everyone who does not clean their teeth at least twice every five minutes is going to die of heart disease before they are five years old.
Right so.
Leaving aside the hyperbole it seems, though we we have not seen the figures yet, that people who clean their teeth less often are at a slightly higher ...

News from Diane Abbott's Labour leadership campaign
by Ian R Thorpe
If you are broad minded and will not be offended by a bit of sexist humour here is a wonderful bit of political satire from Grumpy Old Twat.

Diane Abbott Leadership Campaign Unofficial Poster Launch

You have to get to the end of the post for the big laugh though.

2010-05-27 Stupid Crminal Of The Week - German Bank, Italian Doors
by Ian R Thorpe

Bank robbers who targeted the bank in Malliss, a small town in northern Germany had planned their crime meticulously in every detail but for one. They had not...

Alcohol Shock!
by Ian R Thorpe

Well done to alcohol abuse charity Drinkaware for bringing this to the atttention of Boggart Blog readers. Apparently Drinkaware commissioned a survey of...

The First Grunts Of Summer
by fatsally


Once upon a time warmer weather was heralded by the call of the cuckoo.
In this high-tech modern era a new sound announces the coming of...

Queen’s Speech Review: The Return Of Freedom
by Ian R Thorpe

Queen’s Speech day, the state opening of Parliament, is always a great day for tradition with people like Red Dragon Pursuivant, Maltravers Herald Extraordinary, Gros Nez Courant and Rouge Arse Hirsute making ...

Alcohol Protects Against Dementia
by Ian R Thorpe


A team of health researchers at Valencia University have identified evidence that regular alcohol consumption could possibly provide some protection against Alzheimer's disease and dementia...

Poisonious Snakes Threaten England World Cup Squad
by Ian R Thorpe

Bad news for football fans as we report England's World Cup hopes have taken a knock even before the tournament proper is under way. According to a story in 2010-05-23
Tarmac Fried Egg For Me Please!
by fatsally

As I sit here, sweltering, I think perhaps The Met Office underestimated in its prediction of "an ice cream weekend". However after last year's "barbecue summer" fiasco you can't really...

When David Met Angie (Cameron and Merkel - the real story)
by Ian R Thorpe

David Cameron had his first meeting as Prime Minister with German Chancellor Angela Merkel this week. Frau Merkel has previously been unimpressed with Dave’s leadership of the British Conservatives and particularly with some of the oddball ...

The Radical Feminist In The Woodpile
by Ian R Thorpe

Just a few short days ago and, it seemed, only minutes after nominations for the Labour Party leadership elections had opened, the “progressive left” as the neo Nazi wing of the party likes to style itself was throwing a hissy fit about all the candidates being straight, white and...

Conservative Lib Dem Coalition In A Quick Return To Control Freakery
by Ian R Thorpe

How long has it been since the new Coalition For Change government took office with David Cameron of the Conservatives and Liberal Democrat Nick Clegg promising a “new way of doing politics”? A week? Slightly more or less maybe?
Whatever, it has not taken long to get back...

The Literary Lord Nosh
by Ian R Thorpe

Many people have been asking what became of John (Two Jags) Prescott durning the election campaign and what will happen to him now he is no longer an MP.
Worry ye not, the man who put the pork in...

A Free Country For Suicide Bombers
by Ian R Thorpe

I was simultaneously amused and alarmed to read today that an Alkie Ada (must stop calling them that now Gordon Brown is gone) terrorist, one of the "known suicide bombers" secuirity forces have somewhat confusingly spoken of in the past will not be deported to his homeland because the Foreign Office cannot guarntee his human rights will be respected. For fucks sake what's going on. What about our human right to go about our business without being blown to buggery by some mad 2010-05-18
The Back Hole and The Note
by Ian tR Thorpe

British humour, it has long been said, is based on understatement. This has become less true over the past few years as the world has become progressively more...

Dearest Nick
by fatsally

The press is awash today with the news that the outgoing, or as it should now be, the outgone, Chief Secretary to The Treasury, Sir Liam Byrne, left a note for his...

2010-05-17 Euro Crisis: Greece To Name And Shame Tax Dodgers?
by ianrthorpe

News from the financial crisis.
One of the first items to land on the...

Two Arses To Kick For The Price Of One.
by ianrthorpe

A new government has taken office, the Con - Lib coalition. We will give them the rest of the week to get their favourite posters, gonks, coffee mugs bearing the slogan "You don't have to be 2010-05-12
First Night In Number 10
by fatsally

Dave and Sam turn their backs on the cameras and head for the door.
"Good luck!" calls a voice from the crowd.
They get to the door, but the flunky seems to be having trouble opening it. Others rush to help, whilst Dave and Sam giggle nervously.
Eventually with the help of the bodyguards, police and a couple of...

Labour Contenders Line Up With David Milliband To The Fore
by ianrthorpe

Even before Gordon Brown had finished his “I’m going to step down as PM and party leader, not now but at some time in the future, maybe, unless I have to step up and save the country” speech his wannabe successor Thunderbirds puppet lookalike David Milliband...

Election Explodes Oxbridge Myth

by Ian R Thorpe

Evan as the wrangling over what kind of government we will have is continuining between Liberal Democrat, Conservative and Labour negotiators in the Whitehall political village some interting insights into the development of British...

Drunk In Charge Of Your Feet
by Ian R Thorpe

For the second time in just over a week blogger Dick Puddlecoat has scooped us on a story with brilliant comic potential and a very sinister...

Naked Gardening Day
by ianrthorpe

Did you know it's world naked gardening day?
This event, which had been celebrated on the first Saturday in May for five years now encourages people to get their kit off and get out in the garden to commune with nature while dressed as...

A Boggart Blog Apology & Accrington, Winter Sports Centre
by Ian R Thorpe

Someone messaged us to say we had been very very naughty in linking wannabe Member Of Parliament Cllr. Dame Peter Britcliffe with a crackpot proposal to "put Accrington on the map" by erecting a HOLLYWOOD style sign spelling out ...

Sod The Exit Poll, Boggart Blog Called The Election Result Right.
by Ian R Thorpe

It's all very well asking people how they voted and then predicting the election result but how is that different from...

Not much point voting in election pantomime
by Ian R Thorpe

That's right, no point in voting, its a forgone conclusion following the clownish antics of other candidates Labour will hold the seat.
How can Ian say there is not much point in voting in this, the most exciting election in years? you might well ask.
Well it's like this. The Lib Dems have been defunct in this constituency...

The Gordon Show
by fatsally

Final episode, Thursday 6th May 2010
Strategy Meeting
Right folks, the last few days have been jolly difficult, we know how tired you all are, but one last push, ok, then we can call it a wrap.
Gordon thinks he is popular with the voters, so on no account must he...

Labour and the Private School Povs?
by Ian R Thorpe

So Gordon Brown's stage managers wheel out these three tearful povs, a girl and her Dear Old Mum and Grandma. Mum and Gran talk of how they have to work two million hours a week for fourpence an hour as It's Wonderful To See Guardian Writers Falling Out With Each Other
by Ian R Thorpe


I stopped paying for The Guardian because it had gradually become the New Labour house magazine. The paper that had always traded on its reputation for not telling readers what to think had been hijacked by ...

Permatan Pete Swings The Election For Tories
by ianrthorpe

Throughout the past two months we have written much more about Labour than the Consevatives. There are several reasons for this; primarily the Conservative have managed to keep their No. 1 comedy turn Boris Johnson away from...

The Politics Of Fear And Panic
by Ian R Thorpe

As opinion polls continue to be all over the place in their efforts to predict who will win the election we find politicians in the Labour, Consrrvative and Liberal Democrat increasingly resorting to fear and panic in their effort to...

Crackpot Chef To Give Hospital Food A Makeover
by ianrthorpe

Heston Blumenthal, the celebrity crackpot chef and Harry Hill lookalike, the man whose restaurant The Fat Duck at Pangbourne is famous for giving diners snail porridge, ejeculating pudding and...

Get Your Bet On The Portillo Moment with The Boggart Blog Bookie
by ianrthorpe

Betting on the outcome of the election has gove very flat and a hung Parliament looks so likely we have stopped taking bets. We will of course take as much of your money as you like at 100 - 1 against

Who Will Get The Droid Vote
by Ian R Thorpe

Catching up on the final party leaders' election debate because we were overwhemed yesterday with the response to our free "How To Be A Bigot" DIY guide. (OK I was at the garden centre getting stuff to repair the disaster of our garden after that effing winter)
So what did we make of the wannabe Prime Ministers in the final of Britain's Got Talent(less twats)
How many of you for example noticed...

2010-04-30 Boggart Blog Now The Most Influential Election Opinon Maker
by Ian R Thorpe

Readers of our humble Blog we can proudly announce Boggart Blog has emerged from this lacklustre election campaign as the most influential news publisher, the blog the policy makers read.
Some sceptics have dismissed our earlier claims to be the blog read by the...
2010-04-29 How To Be A Bigot - A DIY Guide To Politics

by Ian R Thorpe

Yesterday when Gordon Brown accused Mrs Ordinary of Number 5 Ordinary Street, Rochdale of being bigoted he effectively took control of the election and made it clear to everybody involved in this election you either agree with New Labour or you are a bigot. Now you punters may have been under the impression...

Clegg To Make Cancer A Crime?
by ianrthorpe

Oo-er missis, we're in Frankie Boyle territory As we await with bated breath for the third and final party leaders' debate which may well influence the outcome of the election and thus who will lead the nation for the next four years we picked up one news item from earlier in the week that suggests...

Brown To Nurses "You're All Bigots."
by Ian R Thorpe

No, Gordon did not actually say that when addressing the Royal College Of Nursing conference this week. What he did was try ineptly to pay tribute to the profession and the work its members do.
After telling the RCN members they are all ...

Is The House For Or Against The Motion? There's Only One Way To Find Out...
by Ian R Thorpe

The election campaign is livening up at last and things have become quite surreal over the past few days. Unfortunately however once the election is over our Parliament is likely to slip back into the same...

2010-04-27 Credit Where It's Due, Cameron Deserves A Pat On The Back
by ianrthorpe

Now this blog, though we are often accused of being bitter and twisted little misanthropic boggarts has always believed in giving credit where it is due. We also believe pigs might one day fly and The Soup Dragon will...

27 April 2010
Heather Mills - Tight Arse Of The Year
by ianrthorpe

You'd think after being awarded a £20+ million divorce settlement celebrity divorcee Heather Mills would be happy to pay her own...

It's A Great Career Move, Britney.
What is poor Britney Spears to do. She's all out of comebacks, and everybody has had more than enough of her flirtations with madness and her star is fading fast. She has even worn out her victim status, her Dad having rid her of all the parasites who were sucking Britney and her ...
[ celebrity ] ... [ comedy& humour ]

When Borat Met Little Britain.....
by fatsally

Oh God, didn't you just crack up at the "bitty" sketches in Little Britain? The grown man curling into his middle aged mother's lap as she unbuttons her shirt, opens...

2010-04-25 Who Wants To Live Forever?
by Ian R Thorpe

It has taken me a few days to catch up with this item because there has been so much going on, the election, volcanoes, long lunches etc. Last week one of the guests on television show It’s Only A Theory was longevity expert...

Psychology of London Marathon Runners
by Ian R Thorpe

The British Psychological Association last week published a report containing results of their survey of what motivates

Is it the end of the world as we know it?
by cleohart
Last week saw the most part of Western Europe at a standstill because an Icelandic volcano that no one can pronounce puked loads of ash into the sky, making it potentially dangerous for jet engines. If you have not seen...

Get Real Gordon
by ianrthorpe

In the party leaders' debate last night Godon Brown told Cleggie to "get real Nick" when the Liberal Deomcrat leader talked of abandoning the Trident Nuclear...

The Big Issue
by fatsally

Apparently Little Nick Clegg is a bit of a toff, descended from the Russian aristocracy and educated at the Westminster School. Which led me to wondering 2010-04-19
Whisper It Softly
by fatsally

Well the top-bods in F1 have really cocked it up this time what with their new regulations and everything.
Following the opening race which was as dull as ditchwater with a degree in Dullness from Dullwich University, the season is rapidly...

Lib Dem Surge Provides A Laugh
by ianrthorpe

We should not get too excited about the Lib Dem surge in the polls. There is a good way to go before election day yet. Nick Clegg's fifteen minutes of...

Is Clegg Suddenly A Contender
by ianrthorpe

A poll out today for which the fieldwork was done after the first leaders' debate has Nick Clegg's Liberal Democrats leapfrogging Labour to move...

Matchmaking For Meerkats
by fatsally

Lily the Meerkat has been jilted.
She had a mate all arranged for her when she went to...

Ooooh, Aaah, Aaaah.....Ooooh, Aaah, Aaaah,.....OOOOh AAAAAh AAAAAAH!!!
by fatsally

Have you seen those penny dreadful women's magazines? The ones that have readers' true stories in? Printed versions of the Jeremy Kyle...

2010-04-16 Doing Nothing Gives The Required Result
by ianrthorpe

I'm having a couple of quiet days and there is not much fun around anyway. There is still stuff worth loking at however, like this post from...

15 april 2010
First Knob Joke Of The Election Campaign.
by ianrthorpe

Surprisingly (or perhaps not) the first knob joke of the election campaign has come (oops, pardon!) from UKIP. No, it isn't Nigel Farage but neither is it...

15 April 2010
Volcanic Dust and Divinity
by Ian R Thorpe

The could of dust heading towards us from Iceland has caused a lot of trouble. Apparently this stuff is lethan to aircraft flying at high altitude. It is sensible to have grounded all flights but what of those in the air when...

14 April 2010
Oh, Boy, Things Must Be BAD
by fatsally

D'you know what I really really hate about the modern world? I mean really really really hate?
It's the way the media have turned into bloody oracles. Instead of telling you what has...

14 April 2010
Jesus Knowsley
by Ian R Thorpe

I've said it before and I'll probably say it again but I love television subtitles on lives shows. The simultaneous transcription software sometime throws up the most hilarious mistakes.
This morning writer Phillip...

13 April 2010
Political Correctness Gone Military
by Ian R Thorpe

Bored with the election? We are. In an election that is more Presidential than ever before with the cranks and nutters pushed aside as attention focuses on the party leaders we are being asked to get enthusiastic about three guys who between them have less charisma then leprosy.
So we look past politics to something else today and if we were...

12 April 2010
Stating The Effing Obvious Industry Will Rebuild Our Economy
by ianrthorpe

The government and the opposition have a big idea for rebuilding the economy. It is based on a delusional belief that the "scientific research" being carried on in Universities will lead to the creation of...

12 April 2010
Oh Jesus! My Chewing Gum!
by fatsally

As our society becomes more secular Boggartblog likes to keep you up to date with where you might find Jesus; on pancakes, on pies, down the Co-op, you know places and things modern man tends...

11 April 2010
Labour Not Against Marriage
by ianrthorpe

At the beginning of the year The Guardian, my regular newspaper, having thoroughly pissed me off with its abandonment of any pretence to objectivity patronised its readers with an environmentalist campaign telling us how we should...

10 April 2010
Don't Smile Gordon, It Frightens People
by ianrthorpe

When Gordon Brown was questioned on why his wife Sarah, an intlligent and very likeable woman but it has to be said entirely unconnected with politics other than by her having lousy taste in husbands, is playing such a big part in Labour's election campaign the Prime Minister gave one of his...

9 April 2010
Redgrave Funeral Shock!
by ianrthorpe

Seeeing as fatsally has set the standard for today by avoiding blogging on the election I shall follow suit and indulge myself with a Frankie Boyle moment. I'm sure you will all...

9 April 2010
Carbon Offsetting
by fatsally

I know, I know, no posts for a whole week and then two come along at once! Been running SezJez into work until such time as she passes her test and so end up waiting for my conscientious daughter to knock off.
Her office is on one of those business parks and I get a chance to watch...
Also read Calorie Offsetting by fatsally

Nothing To Do With Politics
by fatsally

I like looking at how people personalise their number plates, I think I've mentioned this before.
So locally we've got a M3TRO and also a...

8 April 2010
Polishing A Turd Hilarious picture blog from Ian R Thorpe

8 April 2010
Godfather and Labour Special Advisor star backs Conservatives
by Ian R Thorpe

We hear on the election grapevine the actor who played Sonny Corleone in the Oscar winning film The Godfather and has now become one of the stars of Dargon's Den and a "special advisor" to Business Czar Peter Mandelson has today...

7 April 2010
Boggart Blog Halts Labour's Broadband Tax Plan.
by Ian R Thorpe

Today we go straight over to our Totally Unrealistic Hyperbole department where a sensational story is breaking.

Yes, thank you very much indeed Ian. We are just hearing some sensational news coming in from the House of Commons. Boggart Blog’s campaigning journalism has...

6 April 2010
Labour Leaning Guardian Pulls Off Poll Magic
by Ian R Thorpe

An opinion poll published today by The Guardian, now the most devotedly Labour supporting newspaper of all proclaims that the gap beteen Conservatives and Labour has narrowed to 4%. This was enough to persuade...

5 April 2010
Blog All: Desultory blog about Jack Frost, Doctor Who and Friends Of Dorothy
by Ian R Thorpe

On Easter holiday weekends bog all happens because everyone bogs off to ski resorts, sunshine resorts, local attractions, football, the pub, goes to see their Dear Old Mum or spends the entire weekend in a drunken stupor...
read whole post Blog All: Jack Frost, Doctor Who and Dorothy

4 April 2010
Climate Scientists Can't See What's Staring Them In The Face
by Ian R Thorpe

While reading an English version of German newspaper Der Spiegel online I came across this statement in an article about climate change scientist and data....
read all Climate Scientists Can't See What's Staring Them In The Face

3 April 2010
The Most Stupid Political Comment Of The Week
by ianrthorpe

Heard someone on the radio today during a phone in about "the week in politics" whining that the Lib Dems had registered a boost in polls because...

2 April 2010
Attention. Prostitutes Are A Road Safety Hazard
by ianrthorpe

A new road sign in Italy that appears to be warning drivers on a road near the city of Treviso they are approaching a prostitute related traffic hazard is ...

1 April 2010
Wossy's Wife Very Very Drunk?
by Ian R Thorpe

Today, not being a regular subscriber any more, I bought The Guardian as they always have the best April Fool story. My quid was well rewarded as this year's election related April Fool was a cracking good yarn about

31 March 2010
Climategate: Absence Of Evidence...
by Ian R Thorpe

Carl Sagan is said to have coined the phrase "Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence."
Modern education is however fostering an extremely blinkered mindset in which evidence is being

30 March 2010
Talking Bollocks Dept. Sociologists Research Suggests Lib Dem Victory
by Ian R Thorpe

If you need someone to talk or write complete and utter bollocks you can’t go far wrong with a sociologist and Catherine Hakim, a researcher at the London School of Economics is no exception to this rule of thumb. Hakim is a Premier League talker and writer of total bollocks in fact she may even be the Inter – collegiate social sciences departments Talking Bollocks champion of the UK. If Talking Bollocks becomes an Olympic sport Catherine Hakim...

29 March 2010
The Civil Service Ten Minute Dump
by ianrthorpe

Our post on the civil service strike a few weeks ago, in which we pointed out the one day strike by civil servants had not been effective as nobody had noticed they were on strike attracted a number of...

27 March 2010
The Whining Academy
by Ian R Thorpe

Whining seems to have become a national sport. Politicians spend their time whining about the public’s lack of respect for them except for when they are busy embezzling public funds, cutting cash for influence deals with fake...

26 March 2010 Should Human Eggs Be Sold?
by ianrthorpe

Should Human Eggs Be Sold?As the advances in medical science and the demand for designer babies advance hand in hand the ethical debates surrounding in – vitro fertilisation and genetic engineering look set to rage for many years to come.
On one side the people who want to play God are asking “Is it fair to let...

25 March 2010
Samantha Cameron and The Spanish Inquisition
by Ian R Thorpe

Find out how the election battle of the Leaders Wives is going and how Sam's well timed pregnancy was trumped by The Spanish Inquisitor (aka Mrs Clegg.)....

24 March 2010
Ban Smokers From Procreating!!!
by fatsally

More health news.
A kidney dish of Doctors have called for smoking to be banned in cars to protect the young from inhaling the carcinogenic smoke.
The doctors claim that there are over...

23 March 2010
Bleep Till You Drop
by fatsally

The Government's chief Scaremonger, Sir Liam Donaldson, is obviously becoming concerned that, contrary to Ian's last post, we are not dying off quick enough. Sir Liam would like us all to be shuffled off this mortal coil at the hands of extreme...

22 March 2010 In The Future You Will Not Be Allowed To Die.
by Ian R Thorpe

Logging onto Yahoo to check my mail today I noticed a Press Association story on the news page.
screamed the headline in that quiet, mumbling, self deprecating way Internet headlines have of screaming because they know they will never be able to match...

21 March 2010
Labour MPs Caught Soliciting
by Ian R Thorpe

A FORMER Labour cabinet minister, Steven Byers has boasted about how he used his government contacts to change policies in favour of businesses.
Stephen Byers, former trade and transport secretary, was secretly recorded...

20 March 2010
News From The Air Strike
by ianrthorpe

As the effects of the BA strike start to bit and the Easter holiday travel rush looms large we are not all that impressed by the pledge from BA senior managers that they will keep the planes, if not the Aspidistra, flying.
A BA spokesperson, Anna Pologgy, who asked not to be named, told Boggart Blog in an exclusive interview

19 March 2010
Health Warning For M-Cat Users
by fatsally

Following the tragic deaths of two young men who fell foul of the young person's desire to inhale strange substances, in this case m-cat (mephedrone) which is sold as...

18 March 2010
Vote Lib Porn remember La Ciccolina
by Ian R Thorpe

The selection by Liberal Democrats of a director of porn films s their candidate for Gravesham in Kent shows they are at least living up to the “liberal” portion of their name. And we hear from local pollsters Anna Span is doing well for the Lib Dems and has the Conservatives...

17 March 2010
Why Vote Con, Lab, Lib Dem? None of the above? Maybe blogland can help you decide.
by ianrthorpe

The election is only just over a month away if the popular assumption of May 6 is right. Gordon could hold on, hoping for a miracle, until early June but that would only prolong his agony.So who are you planning to vote for?
Political blogger Iain Dale whose day job is in publishing has commissioned ...

16 March 2010
The Evil Bastards Who Want To Save The Planet
by Ian R Thorpe

It’s official! Greening up your lifestyle make you a more evil person.
Don’t buy fair trade chocolate or you will be seized by an uncontrollable urge to beat up and rob little old ladies.
Buying organic fruit and vegetables will provoke an irresistible urge to inflict...

15 March 2010
F1 Returns And In The Kitchen The Gentle Yellow Is Drying Spectacularly
by fatsally

I bet you all thought I wasn't going to mention the rturn of Formula One
. No such luck.
24 cars on the grid.
3 new teams...

March 15
Many A True Word
The trials and tribulations of being a teenage girl - or a tenage girl's gay best friend...

March 14
The Evil Green Bastards Who Want To Save The Panet
by Ian R. Thorpe.

So you heard all the politically corect propaganda and you thought going green wouls show you are a good person. Wrong. According to scientists adopting a green lifestyle is more likely to make you an evil, selfish bastard...

March 14
2012 - Armageddon?
by ianrthorpe

Too busy with tekkie stuff to write a blog today - here's a link to an old audio thing.
As doomsday fans and those inclined to religious hysteria gear up for 2012 when all sorts of ancient and ...

13 March, 2010
Climate Change Evangelists: Own A Fragment Of The True Hockey Stick.
by ianrthorpe

Alert readers may have noticed we at Boggart Blog take delight in excoriating a certain kind of scientist. It is not all scientists we ridicule, just those who insist on behaving as if science, like some oppressive religion is beyond question and doubt. If people insist on claiming science is sacrosanct and to question it is heresy they must accept being treated as religious funny mentalists ...

March 12
Male Voters: Sam Or Sarah?
by Ian R Thorpe

British politics is becoming more and more like the hysterical schlockfest that passes for public debate in America. Boggart Blog is quite sure this is an undesirable trend but in service of our readers we are prepare to ...

11 March 2010
Drugs Online
by Ian R Thorpe

One of the few growth industries is the selling of fake prescription drugs online. So long as the drugs sold as viagra, vallium, ritalin etc are just sugar pills there is no harm done. It's when people buy the real thing the trouble starts...

2010-03-10 England Plan To Score And Score Again
by fatsally

Gadzooks! The England changing room has been bugged.
The eavesdroppers have listened in to team tactics and incentives for the upcoming World Cup competition.
Boggartblog now reveals just what those tactics and incentives are...

8 March 2010
Civil Service Strike Doesn't Paralyze The Country
by Ian R Thorpe

Have you noticed how the Civil Serrvice strike today has caused the country to grind almost to a halt?

7 March 2010
Dodgy Donor Scandal, As Ashcroft Squirms We Name Labour Non Dom
by Ian R Thorpe

As the shockwaves from the dodgy donor scandal continued to reverberate through the Conservative Party hierarchy over funds donated by non domiciled businessman Lord Ashcroft who for tax reasons does not live in Britain although for...

6 March 2010
Something Good To Be Said For Labour After All
. by ianrthorpe

Readers sometimes complain that Boggart Blog is always more enthusiastic in attacking Labour than the Conservatives. There is some justification in this criticism but we have good reasons for our editorial policy. It is not that we find Conservative policies more...

4 March 2010
Comedian On Trial For War Crimes?
by Ian R Thorpe

There’s a little catchphrase running round a US site I sometimes use, it accompanies the asking of questions people are likely to dislike being asked, questions like “So how much tax do you pay then Lord Ashcroft,” or “When did you stop beating your wife Prime Minister.” The catchphrase is “curious minds need to know.”
It strikes us that people are just not curious enough these days because...

2 March 2010
Mouse Science And Even More Mouse Science
by fatsally

Isn't it about time we started doing something about the incredible cruelty to mice perpetrated by scientists?
Boggartblog has previously brought you many stories concerning mouse science but now we are getting rather more worried

28 February 2010
Now We Know - Conservatives Do Not Want To Win.
by ianrthorpe

Plat the video for this, Conservative Contender at the Greenteeth Labyrinth web site.
Some of us were not surprised by the poll published today that shows the Conservatives lead over Labour is down to 2%. We have suspected for a long time something like this would happen. When Boggart Blog asked Mr CAmeron for his...

27 Feb 2010
Good News For Older Men, New Treatment Blasts Prostate Cancer.
by Ian R Thorpe

One of the biggest health worries for men my age is the possibility of developing prostate cancer. It is astounding to think the tiny prostate gland, no bigger than a walnut and tucked away warm and safe up our bottom holes can cause so much...

26 February 2010
Bet You Think This Post Is About You
by fatsally

I love the names of racehorses. Retired Sun editors must be able to have a better off than maybe retirement by making up names for racehorses.
My favourite at the moment is Mister Pointment....

25 February 2010
Victoria's Secrets
by Ian R Thorpe

Last year or was it 2008, time goes so quickly in blogland, we reported on a pair of Queen Vic's Knicks coming up for auction and fetching a right old bundle. The outside (50 inch waist) bloomers were auctioned at the salerooms of 24 Feb 2010 Gordfellas - Is The Labour Government Really Like Goodfellas?
Stories coming from Downing Street accusing Labour Prime Miniter Gordon Brown of bullying and being tempramentally unstable should worry us all. We know little of what goes on inside the seat of government and what we hear makes it sound like the movie Goodfellas. Read this hilarious pastiche then decide.

23 Feb 2010
Fish Science Shows They're Smarter Than You Think.
Recently we have reported extensively on mouse related science involving the use of snacks to get mice to behave in ways that appear intelligent to scientists. We have confined ourselves to reporting projects involving mice and snacks only while important work has been going on involving crocodiles and the science of snacks.

20 February 2010 Tiger Woods Says: Sorry, But Don’t Forget I’m The Victim Here.
Following on from the Tiger Woods car crash and the Tiger Woods, prodigious shagger scandals we now have the Tiger Woods prolific apologiser saga. But who was Tiger apologising too? Hilarious take on celebrity apologies...

Those Whom The Gods Would Destroy Those whom the gods would destroy they first make mad. It's a phrase politicians would do well to remember, especially politicians in the UK Labour party whose obsession with soicialist ideology and creating a fair society has led to their losing touch with reality...

19 Feb 2010
Sex Education Kerfuffle
Sex education in schools is always a provocative topic, on the one hand religious groups think there should be none, on the other the Politically Correct Thought Police believe there should be lots, with practical demonstrations. And what can government officials do when caught between the two sides? Turn somersaults?

17 Feb 2010
The World's Strongest Beer
by Ian R Thorpe

So what is the world's strongest beer? Carlsberg Special Brew, Tennants Super, HSL which is a kind of Ace for the seriously brain damaged? For those not in the know about beer or Viz characters Ace, a weak, cheap beer best drunk when fortified with barbecue starter, is the poison of choice for Octavius Tinsworth (Eight) Ace. Well wrong, wrong and wrong. The strongest beer in the world now is Sink The Bismarck at 41% Alcohol By Volume from Brew Dog brewery in Aberdeen...

16 Feb 2010
Labour Death Tax: Gravediggers To Collect It.

by Ian R Thorpe

The Labour plan for a death tax to fund care of the elderly carries the stink of death. This rotting corpse of a government only dares to announce such plans because they know they are not going to be re-elected and are hoping to hold onto traditional Labour seats in poor areas by...

2010-02-16 Life In Denmark
by fatsally

Oooohh!!! Great news! John Simm, aka Sam Tyler from Life On Mars, is to play Hamlet in a new production at The Crucible in the Autumn.
Oh and here's the rest of...

Dennis The Politically Correct Menace.
by ianrthorpe

This truly is the end of civilisation as we know it. Dennis The Menace has had a politically correct makeover. Thanks to pressure from the BBC we’re told, the publishers of Beano Comic have already yielded to the politically correct whiners and stripped Dennis of his...

13 Feb 2010
Shock, Horror! British Spies Are Devious
by Ian R Thorpe

When the front page of The Guardian erupted in Daily-Mailesque outrage last week following the shocking revelation that undercover agents working for MI5, the internal security unit of Military Intelligence, are sometimes devious and

Alistair Campbell’s Faux Tears Seed Real Jokes
by Ian R Thorpe

I’m feeling a tad lazy today so since Blair’s spin Doctor Alistair Campbell effected a very theatrical emotional moment of television and thus spawned a litter of jokes here are a couple of the best...

NHS Prosthetist And The Patient With Two Left Feet.
by ianrthorpe

We normally hear of two left feet only in a metaphorical sense when judges on Strictly Come Dancing are slagging off the specially selected contestant who liked the idea of picking up a big fat fee but can’t be arsed trying to dance properly because poncing about in shiny trousers is not their thing.
There must be some people somewhere born with two real left feet however because the NHS, politically correct as ever...

Our Car Of The Year - The Toyota Scadenfreude
It turns out their much hyped Prius, the car of choice for the kind of B list celebrity who likes to talk publicly of how green they are but when they have to go anywhere hire a chauffeur driven limo, as well as not being very reliable is not very green. Scroll down to read how the green credentials of the Toyota Prius fall short of the target...

Terry The Tiger? Or Not?
by ianrthorpe

Why has Boggart Blog let the whose hilariously sordid John Terry affair and all those opportunities for puns like “you just don’t expect defenders to score that often” pass with only one brief comment from fatsally last week you might well ask.
To be honest it’s an editorial policy of ours not to report non – stories and “Footballer shags...

There Was Spam, Spam
by ianrthorpe

A song schoolboys of my generation used to sing , The Quartermaster’s Store was learned from our Dads who had sung it as soldiers during World War 2. It had innumerable verses, all simple and easily remembered....

New McItaly. Next The McHomeopathic.
by ianrthorpe

We have been entertained and intrigued by the kerfuffle over the introduction of McDonald’s new product The McItaly burger.
Foodies, especially Italian cuisine purists, have gone...

6 Feb 2010
Snow Bother
by Cleo Hart

Its been a little while since my last blog, largely because I've been waiting for France Telecom to connect me to the internet, but I have been busy too. So I've had lots of time to think about a good topic, and the one that keeps on coming back time and...

New McItaly. Next The McHomeopathic Burger.
by ianrthorpe

We have been entertained and intrigued by the kerfuffle over the introduction of McDonald’s new product The McItaly burger.
Foodies, especially Italian cuisine purists, have gone apeshit over...

5 Feb 2010
Toyota Allegro Reminds Us Of British Carmakers’ Golden Age.
by Ian R Thorpe

News of the recall of millions of Toyota cars because of a design fault that causes the accelerator to stick so the car goes faster when the driver wants to go slower has made a lot of older drivers nostalgic for the twilight of the golden age of British ...

4 Feb 2010
The End of The Affair
by fatsally

Gordon knew something was wrong, deep in his heart.He had noticed that the public didn't close their eyes anymore when he kissed their lips. (They had always done so for Tony) There was no tenderness anymore in their fingertips - a worrying....
read all The End Of The Affair at Boggart Blog

Jesus Of IKEA
by ianrthorpe

It has taken us a while to catch up with this very exciting story in fact if Ian's wife, a complete technophobe,had not made him log onto the IKEA site to order something for her we might well have missed it altogether. Jesus has appeared in all Jesus Of Ikea at Boggart Blog

3 February 2010
Don't Blame it On The Bump
by fatsally

Concerning news for all you ladies who are, or are hoping to become, preggers.
For decades us girlies have been able to be totally irrational and scatterbrained for at least a year and blame it on our hormones or....

Wenger Proves Football Is Getting Sillier
by ianrthorpe

Those whom the Gods would destroy the first make mad. This saying is often wrongly attributed to the Ancient Greek playwright Euripades but was in fact first uttered by Wilf Eadthball the Slaghoughton Times and Observer football writer in...

1 February 2010
A Little Bit Of Knowledge Is A Dangerous Thing by fatsally

I know times are hard and people are setting themselves up as small businesses and that is all well and good, much better to work than to get depressed being fucked about by the Jobcentre, but you'd think people would...

30 January 2010
Massive Overdose Protest
by Ian R. Thorpe

Te Merseyside Skeptics Society (or more accurately the selective Skeptics Society as they only seem to be skeptical about what it is fashionable to be skeptical about) are going to protest about himeopathy today by gathering outside Boots Chemist, Liverpool and taking massive overdoses of homeopathic remedies...Right, who gives a shit, but this is a very funny post on the irrationality of the protesters without supporting homeopathy Homeopathy: Massive Overdose Protest

28 Jan 10
Poverty: Labour Succeeds Where Thatcher Failed.
Ian R Thorpe

At last, a success New Labour can claim as their own. Under the party's rule over the past twelve years the gap between rich and poor in Britain has gone bak to the level of 50 years ago. We get a view from the MP for Rawtenborough since 1832 Hector Gobbett - Broadsides on what this means for unemployment, the revovery and the election prospects of conservative and labour...

Keep Health Out Of Politics

Have those government sponsored health scares about fats, alocohol, chocolate and ciggies ever got up your nose? No? They would if you knew the special advisors dreamed them up over brandy and cigars after a jolly good lunch.

The Truth About The Economy, Crime And Everything Else.
by Ian R Thorpe
The Labour government has been telling lies again, about unemployment, the economy, education, and crimes. And they are really really angry that us ungrateful oiks refuse the believe the official statistics that prove what a good job the government is doing.

Snack Science Reveals Unsuspected Crocodile Intelligence
by Ian R Thorpe
Recently we have reported extensively on mouse related science involving the use of snacks to get mice to behave in ways that appear intelligent to scientists. We have confined ourselves to reporting projects involving mice and snacks only while important work has been going on involving crocodiles and the science of snacks.

You Don't Say!
by fatsally

Yet another science related story from your intrepid Boggartblog reporters. It may seem we are concentrating on science at the moment, but quite honestly there isn't much else to have a laugh about and 2010-01-21
Money Fruit - It Grows On Trees
by ianrthorpe

Hands up anyone who as a child or teenager was not told by their Dear Old Mum or Dad, "Money doesn't grow on trees you know."
One, two… two more over on the right and one at the back ready to make a quick exit if the debt collectors show up. I had no idea so many leading Labour politicians read our blog.
While Lib Dems Invisible Man Clegg and old shiny face Cameron have spent all Money Fruit

Willy Wonka-Kraft Lands On Cadbury Chocolate Factory
The takeover of British Chocolate Maker Cadbury by American cheese into plastic food processor Kraft has gone through. But how will it affect our favourite treats. Boggart Blog's fatsally speculates...

Frightening Lack Of Imagination And Merit
by Ian R Thorpe
14 Jan 2010

While we old dinosaurs at Boggart Blog and The Daily Stirrer grump and grumble about bogus science (stopping mice getting alzheimers disease by giving them mobile phones for example) in fact the creation of useless science projects is linked to the work of another government department that is in the forefront of creating jobs to drive the economic recovery, the Ministry of DOISBUM...

More Demented Mice Science – With Mobile Phones
by Ian R Thorpe

On of the reasons Boggart Blog loves scientists so much is the way that like religious fanatics they just refuse to give up on totally bonkers ideas. Ideas that the one that convinces them making mice behave in totally unnatural ways can teach us valuable lessons about ... read all More Demented Mouse Science.

Human Women To Bear Intelligent Mouse Babies?
by Ian R Thorpe

Regular readers know how much we love scientists here at Boggart Blog. There is seldom a week goes by in which their weird and whacky research projects and the surreal conclusions they draw from the results do not give us at least... read all Human Mothers To Bear Intelligent Mouse Babies

The State of The Nation Address, Brought To You By Proud Sponsors Weatherproof
by fatsally

– 11:06:02 I have long had the feeling, and indeed have voiced it in these pages, that Barack Obama is America's answer to Tony Blair, Tony Blair Lite if you would. He has the ... read all The State Of The Nation Address Brought To You By

Soft Southerners In The Snow.
by Ian R Thorpe

We in the north have always known southerers were a bit on the soft side.
Additional proof, if any were needed, came in one of ... read all Soft Southerners In The Snow

Naked Hindus Protest Against Global Warming
by ianrthorpe

You know people are getting srriously insane about global warming when something like this happens. Thousands of Hindus gathered for ... read all Naked Hindus Protest Against Global Warming

A different kind of snow in Spain sends people bananas
by Ian R Thorpe

It may come as a small comfort to if you are trapped in your home by snow, have been stuck on a motorway all day while trying to travel to work or your ski holiday has been delayed because airports are ... read all A Different Kind Of Snow In Spain Sends People Bananas

Madness Gone Politically Correct
by Ian R Thorpe

The doughty campaigners of Boggart Blog have often been astounded by the sheer irrationality of many things done in the name of science or the pronouncements of “scientists.” Some of the most extreme instances of... read all Madness Gone Politically Correct

There's A Guy Works Down The Co-Op.......
by fatsally

Go back a few posts and you will come across the remarkable story of Tommy Cooper's face appearing on a pie. Look at the comment thread and you wil find the thoughts inevitable turn to Jesus, toast and... read all There's A Guy Works Down The Co-Op

Gold Diggers Of 2010
by Ian R Thorpe
No, this is not a blog about somebody reviving those 1930s Busby Berkley musicals though with the current television obsession with dancing it would be no surpise if we hear it all Gold Diggers Of 2010

Well You Did Ask Mr. Wiki
by ianrthorpe

Just before Christmas it was revealed that a climate scientist, green part activist and Wikipedia moderator had been involved in the editing of over 5000 files all Well You Did Ask Mr Wiki

Monarch In Trouble?
by Ian R Thorpe

It is almost New Year and politicians are queueing like charter flights over Palma in July to tell us that the economy has turned the corner, the millions Al Gore has made from... read all Monarch In Trouble

Tommy Cooper Appears In A Pie - Just Like That
by ianrthorpe

In the week between Christmas and New Year there is a dearth of news. Nothing happens. So we must turn for our blog material to roundups of momentous events of the past twelve months. And what could be more momentous than....

2009-12-28 A Christmas Story...ahhh
by fatsally

Once upon a time there was a little mobile phone. He wasn't particularly big or clever, but he could send and receive text messages and take photos as well as doing phone calls, and most important of all he was very well loved by the boy who owned him.
But this is a consumer dominated society, and some people simply don't understand about...

Who is The Master ?
by ianrthorpe

We on this blog have taken the piss out of Barack Obama many times. While not actually believing some of the things we said about him Boggart Blog was...

The Great American Pantomime
by ianrthorpe

Greetings and Merry Christmas to all our readers HO HO HO. We hope you have some great plans for the days up to Twelfth Night. Parties, concerts, maybe a little snuggling up with your sweetie and of course a ...

Your Country Needs You To Spend, Spend, Spend
by fatsally

Disturbing news from those omnipotent gods, the economists.
They have identified the people responsible for the current lack of economic growth, remember we are the only G20 country still in recession.
And it's all down to those irresponsible people trying to reduce...

Copenhagen Climate Summit - The Last Word
by ianrthorpe

OKOK we admit it. We said the Copenhagen Climate Change Summit was going to be a waste of time, just politicians spouting hot air, Gordon Brown giving your...

Defying the Tyranny of Consumer Christmas
by fatsally

December 21st, only three shopping days to go till the shops will actually be closed for a full 24 hours!!!!!
But I'm living life on the edge.
As of Saturday we had nothing to....

21 - December 2009
Cheque In To A Future Of Medieval Serfdom

The Boggart Blog Irrelevant Christmas Charity Appeal. This year as well as our appeal for on behald of Fletcher Memorial Homes for seperated socks we are throwing our weight behind a charity that works to provide shelter over the festive season for abandoned hi - vis jackets...

23 December 2009
Join The Christmas Resistance Ever felt like asking yourself what this annual insanity called Christmas is all about and then taking yourself off to a Buddhist monastic retreat from December 21st to Jan 6th thus letting Christmas pass you by completely? More and more people are rejecting the idea that we can all be happy if we buy loads of stuff we do not need, will never use and after it has cluttered up our living space for a year will throw out just before next Christmas to make way for next year's Christmas tat? If you have you are not alone. Welcome to the Christmas Resistance.
link url: Join The Christmas Resistance

Defying the Tyranny of Consumer Christmas
Manipulation is everywhere from the X Factor to Christmas, media hype is the tool that influences the sheeple to think what their masters want them to think. The careers of people as diverse as Michael Jackson and Barack Obama as well as the political success of Tony Blair are all built on nothing more substantial than spin. Repeat the lie often enough, that Michael Jackson is the most talented performer ever, that Barack Obama represents the dawn of a new era in politics, that Saddam posed a threat to the west, and enough people will believe it. So what can you do to regain your freedom. You can start by resisting the tyranny of the consumer Christmas
link url:

A Child Is Born On The Bog

The people who run television channels have a weird idea of what will entertain us at Christmas. Or do thhey perhaps understand better than we do that what the public wants amid all the Bacchanialian feasting and Lupercanian unsrestrained shagging of the modern Christmas festival what we really want is Roman Circuses?...
A Child Is Born On The Bog

January Is Getting Earlier Each Year
Maybe it is we who are getting older but it seems while Chistmas lasts longer, January comes a little earlier each year...
January Getting Earlier

2009-12-21 Defying the Tyranny of Consumer Christmas
by fatsally
December 21st, only three shopping days to go till the shops will actually be closed for a full 24 hours!!!!! But I'm living life on the edge. As of Saturday we had...

Chequing Into A Future Of Medieval Serfdom.
by Ian R Thorpe

Singing hey ho and a hey-nonny-no I was making my merry way along Cordwainers Lane, the rhythm of my steps accompanied by the jangle of credit cards and cash cards in the leather purse that hung from my belt when I came upon a hag who sat by the road and wept most sorely. “Why weepest thou so...

The Religion Of Oral
by ianrthorpe

It is with regret we note the death of U.S. Evangelical preacher and pioneer of television evangelism Oral Roberts. Back in the days when there were no illegal wars and climate change could only be experienced by

2009-12-18 Copenhagen: Obama fails to inspire action on climate change.
by ianrthorpe

Word went out around the World Climate Change Christmas Booze Up And crapfest yesterday, "The Ego Has Landed." Those who truly believe the US President is the Obamessiah come to...

Nike Stands By Its Tiger As Porn Star Alleges Affair With Woods
by ianrthorpe

The thunder of stampeding feet shows no sign of decreasing in volume as the stampede of sponsors running away from Tiger Woods continues. Latest blow for the Tiger Woods brand image came when a porn star who alleges...

Olympic Weightlifter Gives Birth While Training
by ianrthorpe

When I saw this rather bizarre news story of a female weightlifter from Chile who has previously competed in the Olympic Games. She was in training for one of her sport's... READ ALL Weightlifter Gives Birth While Training 2009-12-14
The Time Has Come The Walrus Said....
by fatsally

Indeed the time has come to start spending the money neither we, nor the banks, have got, but Gordon the Terrible has the printing presses working 24/7 in order to maintain a constant supply of the old filthy lucre to slip through our fingers into the hands ... READ ALL The Time Has Come...

Penalty Time
by fatsally

Sitting in The Head of Steam, the pub on Huddersfield railway station, enjoying a refreshing half whilst awaiting our homeward bound train, my husband looked up at...

We''re all going to die, WTF
by ianrthorpe

Two items in yesterday's news caught our eye. The first was good ol' "Green" Gordon Brown's pledge that he will give lot's of our bankrupt nation's hard earned to "developing nations to shield them from the effects of global warming while...

Creepy and Evil Christmas Pressies
by ianrthorpe

Jenny Greenteeth spent most of yesterday organising the Boggart Blog Editorial Team secret Santa thinly which got the rest of us so excited we spent most of the...

Transparent Boggarts
by fatsally

As Boggartblog often makes snide and cynical comments at the expense of our politicians, it was decided today that in the interests of transparency we too should...

X Factor: Cowell Calls Facebook Group Manipulative.
by ianrthorpe

Boggart Blog is throwing its weight behind the Facebook campaign ( 550,000 members and rising ) to stop the single recorded by the winner of the X Factor from...

Solipsism: symptoms and and the cure.
by ianrthorpe

Solipsism, if you are not familiar with the word, can be defined in two ways:
(i) the theory that the self can be aware of nothing but its own experiences and states
(ii) the theory that nothing exists or is real but the self.*
I don't know where this belief or philosophy origniated but it was very popular with...

Don't You Just Love THE SUN
by fatsally

The Iraq Inquiry Cab Driver Of Mass Destruction
by ianrthorpe

While we have all been focused on really big events of global importance this week, the Tiger-Woods- inability-to-keep-it-in-his-trousergate scandal for example, the Chilcot Inquiry into who told what lies to whom in the run up to...

2009-12-08 Infamy, Infamy, They've All Got It In For Me
by fatsally

Poor old Gordon, there's Ian having a go and then I come along to stick the boot in too. Still I don't suppose he actually reads Boggartblog and if he does he must be more unstable than...

Brown: A Lust For Glory
by ianrthorpe

Right, that’s it. I used to have a bit of sympathy for Gordon Brown, the big clunking arse of British politics. I used to think Brown had inherited an impossible situation from Blair and could not admit it without seeming to be trying to blame his...

by fatsally

Sezjez has been looking for some gainful employment whilst she decides what she wants to do with her life. She went down to the local youth employment office, Connexions, and registered, saying she...

7 December 2009
Copenhagen Prostitutes And Global Warming
by ianrthorpe

In an effort to project Copenhagen, this week hosting the climate changev summit, as the most politically correct city in the world the city's mayor...

6 December 2009
I Accuse The Elk In The Orchard With The Fermenting Apples
by fatsally

A sinister turn in the animal world, highlighting the increase in drunkeness and violent behaviour, a trend which is found more commonly amongst humans.
In the past we have brought you amusing, yet innocent, tales of scrapes animals have got themselves into when under the...

5 December 2009
Why Wouldn't I Want My Son To Be A Plumber?
by ianrthorpe

Ian Jack writing in The Guardian asks "Would you want your son to be a plumber?"
Course I bloody would, next time he needed...

It Won't Be Easy
England's group for next summer's world cup looks a pushover but...
It Won't Be EASY

4 December 2009
You Can't Light A Fire With A Laptop
by fatsally

You Can't Light A Fire With A Laptop by fatsally @ 2009-12-04 – 17:50:11 Great news for journalists and publishers this week was the internet's growing realisation that you literally get nothing for free. The impending demise of Wikipedia was heralded with...

3 December 2009
Brought To You By Durex

After his recent slapper related PR disasters Tiger Woods needs a new sponsor. As the world's top golfer has alwas been so deadly around the hole Boggart Blogs suggests the makers of Durex condoms might be able to use him.

3 December 2009
Question Time: Gordon Brown Loses The Plot
by ianrthorpe

After Obama's official announcement of a troop surge aimed at ending the conflict in Afghanistan Gordon Brown spoke today during... Afghanistan: Brown Finally Loses Ther Plot

2 December 2009
Obama And Brown Hounded By Afghan Del Boy Brig
by ianrthorpe

Barack Obama has finally announced what we all knew back in August and even Gordon Brown knew last week. America is sensing (I meant sending) more troops to Afghanistan, an additional 30,000 soldiers in fact. 9,000 are setting off later this...

1 December 2009
Looks Like A Job For …… BICYCLE REPAIR MAN!

One of my favourite Monty Python sketches though it is remembered by few other people which may prove I am more of a Python geek than I thought, featured a Superhero called Bicycle Repair Man. A bike mechanic superhero? you might well ask...

Archived Posts[ 1 ] ... [ 2 ] ... [ 3 ] ... [ 4 ] ... [ 5 ] ... [ ] ... [ 7l ] ... [ 8 ] ... [ 9 ] ... [ 10 ]

Top Of PageThe Daily StirrerMore ComedyHomeBoggart Blog DailyA Tale Told By An Idiot

If you enjoyed this, share it with others.
delicious magnolia mixx pulsetaggeddigg

buzz it up delicious magnolia mixx pulse tagged digg