6 Feb 2010
Snow Bother
by Cleo Hart
Its been a little while since my last blog, largely because I've been waiting for France Telecom to connect me to the internet, but I have been busy too. So I've had lots of time to think about a good topic, and the one that keeps on coming back time and...
New McItaly. Next The McHomeopathic Burger.
by ianrthorpe
We have been entertained and intrigued by the kerfuffle over the introduction of McDonald’s new product The McItaly burger.
Foodies, especially Italian cuisine purists, have gone apeshit over...
5 Feb 2010
Toyota Allegro Reminds Us Of British Carmakers’ Golden Age.
by Ian R Thorpe
News of the recall of millions of Toyota cars because of a design fault that causes the accelerator to stick so the car goes faster when the driver wants to go slower has made a lot of older drivers nostalgic for the twilight of the golden age of British ...
4 Feb 2010
The End of The Affair
by fatsally
Gordon knew something was wrong, deep in his heart.He had noticed that the public didn't close their eyes anymore when he kissed their lips. (They had always done so for Tony) There was no tenderness anymore in their fingertips - a worrying....
read all The End Of The Affair at Boggart Blog
Jesus Of IKEA
by ianrthorpe
It has taken us a while to catch up with this very exciting story in fact if Ian's wife, a complete technophobe,had not made him log onto the IKEA site to order something for her we might well have missed it altogether.
Jesus has appeared in a...read all Jesus Of Ikea at Boggart Blog
3 February 2010
Don't Blame it On The Bump
by fatsally
Concerning news for all you ladies who are, or are hoping to become, preggers.
For decades us girlies have been able to be totally irrational and scatterbrained for at least a year and blame it on our hormones or....
2010-02-02
Wenger Proves Football Is Getting Sillier
by ianrthorpe
Those whom the Gods would destroy the first make mad. This saying is often wrongly attributed to the Ancient Greek playwright Euripades but was in fact first uttered by Wilf Eadthball the Slaghoughton Times and Observer football writer in...
1 February 2010
A Little Bit Of Knowledge Is A Dangerous Thing
by fatsally
I know times are hard and people are setting themselves up as small businesses and that is all well and good, much better to work than to get depressed being fucked about by the Jobcentre, but you'd think people would...
30 January 2010
Massive Overdose Protest
by Ian R. Thorpe
Te Merseyside Skeptics Society (or more accurately the selective Skeptics Society as they only seem to be skeptical about what it is fashionable to be skeptical about) are going to protest about himeopathy today by gathering outside Boots Chemist, Liverpool and taking massive overdoses of homeopathic remedies...Right, who gives a shit, but this is a very funny post on the irrationality of the protesters without supporting homeopathy Homeopathy: Massive Overdose Protest
28 Jan 10
Poverty: Labour Succeeds Where Thatcher Failed.
Ian R Thorpe
At last, a success New Labour can claim as their own. Under the party's rule over the past twelve years the gap between rich and poor in Britain has gone bak to the level of 50 years ago. We get a view from the MP for Rawtenborough since 1832 Hector Gobbett - Broadsides on what this means for unemployment, the revovery and the election prospects of conservative and labour...
Keep Health Out Of Politics
Have those government sponsored health scares about fats, alocohol, chocolate and ciggies ever got up your nose? No? They would if you knew the special advisors dreamed them up over brandy and cigars after a jolly good lunch.
The Truth About The Economy, Crime And Everything Else.
by Ian R Thorpe
2010-01-26
The Labour government has been telling lies again, about unemployment, the economy, education, and crimes. And they are really really angry that us ungrateful oiks refuse the believe the official statistics that prove what a good job the government is doing.
25-01-10
Snack Science Reveals Unsuspected Crocodile Intelligence
by Ian R Thorpe
Recently we have reported extensively on mouse related science involving the use of snacks to get mice to behave in ways that appear intelligent to scientists. We have confined ourselves to reporting projects involving mice and snacks only while important work has been going on involving crocodiles and the science of snacks.
2010-01-25
You Don't Say!
by fatsally
Yet another science related story from your intrepid Boggartblog reporters.
It may seem we are concentrating on science at the moment, but quite honestly there isn't much else to have a laugh about and
2010-01-21
Money Fruit - It Grows On Trees
by ianrthorpe
Hands up anyone who as a child or teenager was not told by their Dear Old Mum or Dad, "Money doesn't grow on trees you know."
One, two… two more over on the right and one at the back ready to make a quick exit if the debt collectors show up. I had no idea so many leading Labour politicians read our blog.
While Lib Dems Invisible Man Clegg and old shiny face Cameron have spent the....read all Money Fruit
Willy Wonka-Kraft Lands On Cadbury Chocolate Factory
The takeover of British Chocolate Maker Cadbury by American cheese into plastic food processor Kraft has gone through. But how will it affect our favourite treats. Boggart Blog's fatsally speculates...
Frightening Lack Of Imagination And Merit
by Ian R Thorpe
14 Jan 2010
While we old dinosaurs at Boggart Blog and The Daily Stirrer grump and grumble about bogus science (stopping mice getting alzheimers disease by giving them mobile phones for example) in fact the creation of useless science projects is linked to the work of another government department that is in the forefront of creating jobs to drive the economic recovery, the Ministry of DOISBUM...
2010-01-09
More Demented Mice Science – With Mobile Phones
by Ian R Thorpe
On of the reasons Boggart Blog loves scientists so much is the way that like religious fanatics they just refuse to give up on totally bonkers ideas. Ideas that the one that convinces them making mice behave in totally unnatural ways can teach us valuable lessons about ... read all More Demented Mouse Science.
2010-01-08
Human Women To Bear Intelligent Mouse Babies?
by Ian R Thorpe
Regular readers know how much we love scientists here at Boggart Blog. There is seldom a week goes by in which their weird and whacky research projects and the surreal conclusions they draw from the results do not give us at least... read all Human Mothers To Bear Intelligent Mouse Babies
2010-01-08
The State of The Nation Address, Brought To You By Proud Sponsors Weatherproof
by fatsally – 11:06:02
I have long had the feeling, and indeed have voiced it in these pages, that Barack Obama is America's answer to Tony Blair, Tony Blair Lite if you would. He has the ... read all The State Of The Nation Address Brought To You By
2010-01-07
Soft Southerners In The Snow.
by Ian R Thorpe
We in the north have always known southerers were a bit on the soft side.
Additional proof, if any were needed, came in one of ... read all Soft Southerners In The Snow
2010-01-06
Naked Hindus Protest Against Global Warming
by ianrthorpe
You know people are getting srriously insane about global warming when something like this happens. Thousands of Hindus gathered for ... read all Naked Hindus Protest Against Global Warming
2010-01-05
A different kind of snow in Spain sends people bananas
by Ian R Thorpe
It may come as a small comfort to if you are trapped in your home by snow, have been stuck on a motorway all day while trying to travel to work or your ski holiday has been delayed because airports are ... read all A Different Kind Of Snow In Spain Sends People Bananas
2010-01-04
Madness Gone Politically Correct
by Ian R Thorpe
The doughty campaigners of Boggart Blog have often been astounded by the sheer irrationality of many things done in the name of science or the pronouncements of “scientists.” Some of the most extreme instances of... read all Madness Gone Politically Correct
2010-01-03
There's A Guy Works Down The Co-Op.......
by fatsally
Go back a few posts and you will come across the remarkable story of Tommy Cooper's face appearing on a pie.
Look at the comment thread and you wil find the thoughts inevitable turn to Jesus, toast and... read all There's A Guy Works Down The Co-Op
2010-01-03
Gold Diggers Of 2010
by Ian R Thorpe
No, this is not a blog about somebody reviving those 1930s Busby Berkley musicals though with the current television obsession with dancing it would be no surpise if we hear it is...read all Gold Diggers Of 2010
2009-12-31
Well You Did Ask Mr. Wiki
by ianrthorpe
Just before Christmas it was revealed that a climate scientist, green part activist and Wikipedia moderator had been involved in the editing of over 5000 files containing....read all Well You Did Ask Mr Wiki
2009-12-30
Monarch In Trouble?
by Ian R Thorpe
It is almost New Year and politicians are queueing like charter flights over Palma in July to tell us that the economy has turned the corner, the millions Al Gore has made from... read all Monarch In Trouble
2009-12-29
Tommy Cooper Appears In A Pie - Just Like That
by ianrthorpe
In the week between Christmas and New Year there is a dearth of news. Nothing happens. So we must turn for our blog material to roundups of momentous events of the past twelve months. And what could be more momentous than....
2009-12-28
A Christmas Story...ahhh
by fatsally
Once upon a time there was a little mobile phone. He wasn't particularly big or clever, but he could send and receive text messages and take photos as well as doing phone calls, and most important of all he was very well loved by the boy who owned him.
But this is a consumer dominated society, and some people simply don't understand about...
2009-12-27
Who is The Master ?
by ianrthorpe
We on this blog have taken the piss out of Barack Obama many times. While not actually believing some of the things we said about him Boggart Blog was...
The Great American Pantomime
by ianrthorpe
2009-12-24
Greetings and Merry Christmas to all our readers HO HO HO. We hope you have some great plans for the days up to Twelfth Night. Parties, concerts, maybe a little snuggling up with your sweetie and of course a ...
Your Country Needs You To Spend, Spend, Spend
by fatsally
2009-12-23
Disturbing news from those omnipotent gods, the economists.
They have identified the people responsible for the current lack of economic growth, remember we are the only G20 country still in recession.
And it's all down to those irresponsible people trying to reduce...
Copenhagen Climate Summit - The Last Word
by ianrthorpe
2009-12-22
OKOK we admit it. We said the Copenhagen Climate Change Summit was going to be a waste of time, just politicians spouting hot air, Gordon Brown giving your...
Defying the Tyranny of Consumer Christmas
by fatsally
2009-12-21
December 21st, only three shopping days to go till the shops will actually be closed for a full 24 hours!!!!!
But I'm living life on the edge.
As of Saturday we had nothing to....
21 - December 2009
Cheque In To A Future Of Medieval Serfdom
The Boggart Blog Irrelevant Christmas Charity Appeal. This year as well as our appeal for on behald of Fletcher Memorial Homes for seperated socks we are throwing our weight behind a charity that works to provide shelter over the festive season for abandoned hi - vis jackets...
23 December 2009
Join The Christmas Resistance
Ever felt like asking yourself what this annual insanity called Christmas is all about and then taking yourself off to a Buddhist monastic retreat from December 21st to Jan 6th thus letting Christmas pass you by completely? More and more people are rejecting the idea that we can all be happy if we buy loads of stuff we do not need, will never use and after it has cluttered up our living space for a year will throw out just before next Christmas to make way for next year's Christmas tat? If you have you are not alone. Welcome to the Christmas Resistance.
link url: Join The Christmas Resistance
Defying the Tyranny of Consumer Christmas
Manipulation is everywhere from the X Factor to Christmas, media hype is the tool that influences the sheeple to think what their masters want them to think. The careers of people as diverse as Michael Jackson and Barack Obama as well as the political success of Tony Blair are all built on nothing more substantial than spin. Repeat the lie often enough, that Michael Jackson is the most talented performer ever, that Barack Obama represents the dawn of a new era in politics, that Saddam posed a threat to the west, and enough people will believe it. So what can you do to regain your freedom. You can start by resisting the tyranny of the consumer Christmas
link url: http://www.greenteethmm.com/christmas_tyranny.shtml
A Child Is Born On The Bog
The people who run television channels have a weird idea of what will entertain us at Christmas. Or do thhey perhaps understand better than we do that what the public wants amid all the Bacchanialian feasting and Lupercanian unsrestrained shagging of the modern Christmas festival what we really want is Roman Circuses?...
A Child Is Born On The Bog
January Is Getting Earlier Each Year
Maybe it is we who are getting older but it seems while Chistmas lasts longer, January comes a little earlier each year...
January Getting Earlier
2009-12-21
Defying the Tyranny of Consumer Christmas
by fatsally
December 21st, only three shopping days to go till the shops will actually be closed for a full 24 hours!!!!! But I'm living life on the edge. As of Saturday we had...
2009-12-21
Chequing Into A Future Of Medieval Serfdom.
by Ian R Thorpe
Singing hey ho and a hey-nonny-no I was making my merry way along Cordwainers Lane, the rhythm of my steps accompanied by the jangle of credit cards and cash cards in the leather purse that hung from my belt when I came upon a hag who sat by the road and wept most sorely. “Why weepest thou so...
2009-12-19
The Religion Of Oral
by ianrthorpe
It is with regret we note the death of U.S. Evangelical preacher and pioneer of television evangelism Oral Roberts. Back in the days when there were no illegal wars and climate change could only be experienced by
2009-12-18
Copenhagen: Obama fails to inspire action on climate change.
by ianrthorpe
Word went out around the World Climate Change Christmas Booze Up And crapfest yesterday, "The Ego Has Landed." Those who truly believe the US President is the Obamessiah come to...
2009-12-17
Nike Stands By Its Tiger As Porn Star Alleges Affair With Woods
by ianrthorpe
The thunder of stampeding feet shows no sign of decreasing in volume as the stampede of sponsors running away from Tiger Woods continues. Latest blow for the Tiger Woods brand image came when a porn star who alleges...
2009-12-15
Olympic Weightlifter Gives Birth While Training
by ianrthorpe
When I saw this rather bizarre news story of a female weightlifter from Chile who has previously competed in the Olympic Games. She was in training for one of her sport's... READ ALL Weightlifter Gives Birth While Training
2009-12-14
The Time Has Come The Walrus Said....
by fatsally
Indeed the time has come to start spending the money neither we, nor the banks, have got, but Gordon the Terrible has the printing presses working 24/7 in order to maintain a constant supply of the old filthy lucre to slip through our fingers into the hands ... READ ALL The Time Has Come...
2009-12-13
Penalty Time
by fatsally
Sitting in The Head of Steam, the pub on Huddersfield railway station, enjoying a refreshing half whilst awaiting our homeward bound train, my husband looked up at...
2009-12-13
We''re all going to die, WTF
by ianrthorpe
Two items in yesterday's news caught our eye. The first was good ol' "Green" Gordon Brown's pledge that he will give lot's of our bankrupt nation's hard earned to "developing nations to shield them from the effects of global warming while...
2009-12-12
Creepy and Evil Christmas Pressies
by ianrthorpe
Jenny Greenteeth spent most of yesterday organising the Boggart Blog Editorial Team secret Santa thinly which got the rest of us so excited we spent most of the...
2009-12-11
Transparent Boggarts
by fatsally
As Boggartblog often makes snide and cynical comments at the expense of our politicians, it was decided today that in the interests of transparency we too should...
2009-12-11
X Factor: Cowell Calls Facebook Group Manipulative.
by ianrthorpe
Boggart Blog is throwing its weight behind the Facebook campaign ( 550,000 members and rising ) to stop the single recorded by the winner of the X Factor from...
2009-12-10
Solipsism: symptoms and and the cure.
by ianrthorpe
Solipsism, if you are not familiar with the word, can be defined in two ways:
(i) the theory that the self can be aware of nothing but its own experiences and states
(ii) the theory that nothing exists or is real but the self.*
I don't know where this belief or philosophy origniated but it was very popular with...
2009-12-10
Don't You Just Love THE SUN
by fatsally
http://greenteeth.blog.co.uk/2009/12/10/don-t-you-just-love-the-sun-7546597/
2009-12-09
The Iraq Inquiry Cab Driver Of Mass Destruction
by ianrthorpe
While we have all been focused on really big events of global importance this week, the Tiger-Woods- inability-to-keep-it-in-his-trousergate scandal for example, the Chilcot Inquiry into who told what lies to whom in the run up to...
2009-12-08
Infamy, Infamy, They've All Got It In For Me
by fatsally
Poor old Gordon, there's Ian having a go and then I come along to stick the boot in too. Still I don't suppose he actually reads Boggartblog and if he does he must be more unstable than...
2009-12-08
Brown: A Lust For Glory
by ianrthorpe
Right, that’s it. I used to have a bit of sympathy for Gordon Brown, the big clunking arse of British politics. I used to think Brown had inherited an impossible situation from Blair and could not admit it without seeming to be trying to blame his...
2009-12-07
An NVQ In RETAIL
by fatsally
Sezjez has been looking for some gainful employment whilst she decides what she wants to do with her life.
She went down to the local youth employment office, Connexions, and registered, saying she...
7 December 2009
Copenhagen Prostitutes And Global Warming
by ianrthorpe
In an effort to project Copenhagen, this week hosting the climate changev summit, as the most politically correct city in the world the city's mayor...
6 December 2009
I Accuse The Elk In The Orchard With The Fermenting Apples
by fatsally
A sinister turn in the animal world, highlighting the increase in drunkeness and violent behaviour, a trend which is found more commonly amongst humans.
In the past we have brought you amusing, yet innocent, tales of scrapes animals have got themselves into when under the...
5 December 2009
Why Wouldn't I Want My Son To Be A Plumber?
by ianrthorpe
Ian Jack writing in The Guardian asks "Would you want your son to be a plumber?"
Course I bloody would, next time he needed...
It Won't Be Easy
England's group for next summer's world cup looks a pushover but...
It Won't Be EASY
4 December 2009
You Can't Light A Fire With A Laptop
by fatsally
You Can't Light A Fire With A Laptop by fatsally @ 2009-12-04 – 17:50:11
Great news for journalists and publishers this week was the internet's growing realisation that you literally get nothing for free.
The impending demise of Wikipedia was heralded with...
3 December 2009
Brought To You By Durex
After his recent slapper related PR disasters Tiger Woods needs a new sponsor. As the world's top golfer has alwas been so deadly around the hole Boggart Blogs suggests the makers of Durex condoms might be able to use him.
3 December 2009
Question Time: Gordon Brown Loses The Plot
by ianrthorpe
After Obama's official announcement of a troop surge aimed at ending the conflict in Afghanistan Gordon Brown spoke today during...
Afghanistan: Brown Finally Loses Ther Plot
2 December 2009
Obama And Brown Hounded By Afghan Del Boy Brigade.
by ianrthorpe
Barack Obama has finally announced what we all knew back in August and even Gordon Brown knew last week. America is sensing (I meant sending) more troops to Afghanistan, an additional 30,000 soldiers in fact. 9,000 are setting off later this...
1 December 2009
Looks Like A Job For …… BICYCLE REPAIR MAN!
One of my favourite Monty Python sketches though it is remembered by few other people which may prove I am more of a Python geek than I thought, featured a Superhero called Bicycle Repair Man. A bike mechanic superhero? you might well ask...
2009-11-30
Learning To Grow Hashish At College
by ianrthorpe
It had to happen, there have been courses available in subjects such as Klingon studies, the Jedi Philosophy and...
2009-11-29
Cockermouth and Penistone - Not A Scary Willy Story
by fatsally
Today, for the first time ever, the towns of Cockermouth in Cumbria and Penistone in Yorkshire are united, being mentioned in the same article by....
Exclusive: Pebbles Wants To Move
by fatsally
2009-11-28
You will all have had your memories refreshed regarding SuBo of Britain's got an X Factor, as her debut album has gone straight to number one with the highest...
Golf and Marriage are Dangerous Games.
by ianrthorpe
2009-11-28
Golf and marriage may seem to have little in common but they are in fact both very dangerous games. In golf you can easily lose your ball and in marriage a man may easily lose his balls both...
2009-11-27
A Job For The Boys: Lap Dance Researcher.
by ianrthorpe
The University of Leeds School of Social Science is advertising for a researcher to undertake research into "The rise and regulation of lap dancing and the place of sexual labour and consumption in the
2009-11-26
Harrassed In The Hindu Kush
by ianrthorpe
Barack Obama is rehearsing the speech in which he will tell the American due to the brilliant success of his stategy he can now announce
2009-11-25
If Ali G met Belle De Jour
ianrthorpe
In her first press interview since outing herself as the real Belle De Jour, research scientist Dr. Brooke Magnati who used earnings from prostitution to fund her...
2009-11-25
The Strictly General X Factor Celebrity Election
by fatsally
In the previous post Ian wonders how much lower reality television can sink, likening it to the Roman circus, with the public lapping up the ritual humiliation invoked by progs such as I'm a desperate-attention-seeking-has-been-who's-bit-hard-up-for-cash-and-daytime-chat-show-offers, LOOK AT ME...
READ ALL The Strictly General X Factor Celebrity Election
2009-11-24
Bread And Circuses TV (more reality from the celebrity jungle)
by Ian R Thorpe
Boggart Blog has said it before (we probably haven’t but who remembers every word we have ever published?) but the march of civilisation has definitely gone into reverse. Nowhere is this more apparent than in the field of low budget “reality” television or Bread and Circuses TV as it is...
READ ALL Bread and Circuses TV
2009-11-24
Quick Thinking Criminal or Slow Witted Plod?
by fatsally
We normally bring you stories of really stupid criminals, like the man who drove the getaway car sporting his own personalised registration plate, or the chap who ...
READ ALL Quick Thinking Criminal or Slow Witted Plod?
2009-11-23
Afghanistan, Financial Crisis, Climate Change - Forget it, Katie Price has quit the jungle.
by ianrthorpe
Big news today is nothing to do with any of the major crises happening around the world, not with a government in meltdowm or the most frightening story, the one about new EU Prez. Van Rumpy Pumpy pledging to steer the union towards a ...
READ ALL Afghanistan, Financial Crisis, Climate Change - Forget it, Katie Price has quit the jungle.
Rompuy - Pumpy Rules EU
The newly reformed, even less democratic than before European Union has its first President. But will Herman Van Rompuy achieve anything or will his name just inspire rumpy-pumy jokes?
2009-11-21
Monty Python and the Brussels Sprouts
by ianrthorpe
Controversy rages over the choice of Herman Van Rompuy (pronounched rumpy to rhyme with pumpy) to the EU presidency. Stung by British Rumpy Pumpy jokes the French-language Belgian regional newspaper La Capitale printed a list of our... READ ALL Monty Python And The Brussels Sprouts
We wish you a merry Christmas (but not in Dundee)
by ianrthorpe2009-11-21
Christmas will not be Christmas in Dundee this year. All references to the religious holiday have been dropped from the switching-on ceremony for the city’s festive lights. Instead of the traditional Christmas Lights switch-on, residents will be ... READ ALL We Wish You A Merry Christmas - But Not In Dundee
2009-11-20
A Fit And Proper Person
by ianrthorpe
The dark forces of football oligarchy are ganging up on little Chester City but it looks like one rule for the minnows, another for the big clubs. The FA have ordered Stephen Vaughan, Chester’s owner and main financial prop to sell his shareholding because he is not a “fit and proper person” to be...READ ALL A Fit And Proper Person
2009-11-19
Playing Politics With The Dear Old Queen
by ianrthorpe
The Queen’s Speech by convention, wile setting out the government’s programme is not about party politics nor is it supposed to be about a failing government shafting the opposition that will soon replace them by making it impossible for the new lot to...READ ALL Playing Politics With The Dear Old Queen
2009-11-17
The Real Queen's Speech Redux
by ianrthorpe
It is well known that every year HM The Queen writes her own speech for the state opening of parliament and that every year The Government goes to great lengths to ensure the draft is lost and Queenie has to read the speech prepared for her by the Prime Minister.
Last year one of Boggart Blog's unseen reporters managed to obtain...READ ALL The Real Queen's Speech Redux
2009-11-17
A Pretty Maid Must Show 40% To Get Laid.
by ianrthorpe
I'm an unlikely Daily Mail reader but this link, sent to me by a mate who knows how much Boggart Blog loves pointless research stories, pricked my curiosity. It will take you to an item that claims a "scientific" study has revealed that a woman should show 40% of her flesh if...READ ALL A Pretty Maid Must Show 40% To Get Laid.
2009-11-16
President Rimmer Obama
by ianrthorpe
Looking around American blogs today I see there is a kerfuffle about President O's deep bow to the Emperor Of Japan. Typically the Politically Correct Thought Police...
READ ALL President Rimmer Obama
2009-11-15
Octomum
by ianrthorpe
To avoid misunderstanding the title is not a new Bond film or a character from tonight's (eagerly anticipated) Doctor Who adventure...
READ ALL Octomum
2009-11-14
Things Just Keep Getting Better!
by fatsally
The other day Boggartblog brought you the news that we're just not drinking enough, tipping the unfinished bottle down the sink wastes an incredible amount of the old Mucho Collapso and so we should all ensure that we drink every last drop, a practice Boggartblog has advocated for years. But things just keep getting better...
READ ALL But Things Just Keep Getting Better
2009-11-13
Swine Flu - No worries, you'll just gain a few pounds
by ianrthorpe
The government of control freaks are keeping up their fear and panic campaign to turns us all into gibbering wrecks who cower in fear of swine flu. Boggart Blog has always said this scare is simply about making...
2009-11-12
Marking Computer Says No AsTop Writers Fail Their English A Level.
by Ian R Thorpe
Boggart Blog makes it our business to invigilate the progressive education lobby for sings of loonyness. An we have to be honest, they keep us busy.
One of the most crackpot ideas to come out of the academic clique that supervises the dumbing down of standard was the recruitment of a marking computer to assess A level papers.
On being given samples of writing by great authors including... READ ALL Marking Computer Says No
2009-11-11
Simon Cowell Secret Revealed
by Ian R Thorpe
Boggart Blog has not been following The X Factor this time round because, well let’s be honest, we have done all the cheap jokes in the past. Also the biggest X Factor joke this year is...READ ALL Simon Cowell Secret Revealed
2009-11-11
Bottoms Up!
by fatsally
Good news for drinkers - the Waste and Resource Action Programme has estimated that Britons are pouring £470 million worth of wine down the plughole...READ ALL Bottoms Up
2009-11-10
Going Batty For A BJ
?Very Short Post but funny enough to be worth a visit
2009-11-09
Evolutionary Science Classes In Junior School Might Be Counter Productive.
A new plan to reform the primary curriculum proposes teaching evolutionary science to kids aged 4 to 11. This article shows how such an approach might be counter productive.
2009-11-08
Bloggers Who Stare At Goats
by ianrthorpe
You have all seen adverts for the new Hollywood film release Men Who Stare At Goats. Well no need to waste your money to find out what it is all about...
2009-11-08
Google Pledge Not To Be Creepy
by ianrthorpe
Speaking on American television Google CEO pledged that his company would not become a creepy gang of world domination freaks like Microsoft did some years ago.
Asked by the interviewer how from their dominant position on the internet Google could avoid this Schmidt adopted a really bad Russian accent and said...
2009-11-06
The Fag Drag - Will Banning Cigarettes Spawn A New Industry?
by Ian R Thorpe
Still detmined to be the killjoy government Labour are passing new anti smoking laws. But do they really think banning the display if cigarettes in shops will stop anybody from smoking?
2009-11-05
Kidman’s Alien Sex Fetish
by ianrthorpe
Statuesque blonde Australian actress and sex symbol (if you like that sort of thing) Nicole Kidman has confessed in a celebrity interview with GQ magazine that in one of her love affairs she had explored “strange fetish stuff.” Though Kidman
2009-11-05
....
The New Guy Fawkes
by ianrthorpe
Where are Catesby and his co - conspirators when we need them? Where is our gunpowder plot this bonfire night? Not that I'd want the buggers to blow up The....
2009-11-04
Stimulating The Radio Active Rabbits
by Ian R Thorpe
An American friend sent me this list of some of her favourite items funded by money from the US Government's stimulus bill.
•$300,000 for a GPS-equipped helicopter to hunt for radioactive rabbit droppings at...
2009-11-03
Stupid Criminal Of The Week Returns
by ianrthorpe
It is with great pleasure we announce the return of the Boggart Blog stupid criminal of the week award.
In the early days of Boggart Blog we would feature this occasional series whenever we encountered a news story about...READ ALL Stupid Criminal Of The Week Returns
2009-11-02
The eXtacy factor
by ianrthorpe
Well Professor Nutt certainly kicked things off with his claim that drugs like E, Cannabis and LSD are no more dangerous that alcohol and tobacco. While we agree... READ ALL The eXtacy factor
2009-10-29
E versus J & B
I know we say this quite frequently but where would this blog be without those whacky folks who feed us material by doing pointless research. The latest finding, announced by the appropriately named ... READ ALL E versus J & B
Tonguing Willie
by ianrthorpe
What a headline!!! Worth 3 exclamation marks. Well every now and them we Boggart Bloggers like to show up the Tabloid headline writers for the rank amateurs they really are.
So as this story is not going to concern hot celebrity head action what... READ ALl Tonguing Willie
2009-10-28
Old Chinese Proverb: Beware Jumped Up Dictators With Ill Thought Out Scheme
by fatsally
Lord Stern of Brentford, who is quite possibly a climate change czar, or at the very least a marquise, called yesterday for everyone in the world to cut out meat in an effort to... READ ALL Old Chinese Proverb: Beware Jumped Up Dictators With
2009-10-28
The King Is In His Altogether....
by fatsally
Anatole Kaletsky, writing in The Times today applauds the creation of an Institute for New Economic Thought, claiming that this is a direct result of ... READ ALL The King Is In His Altogether
Classy Comic Or Rampant Rabbit
There is no doubt Michal MacIntyre is one of the top stand up comedy acts around at the moment. He has a good personality, quickfire delivery and some ...
You Wanna Show A Liddle Respect Or You get A Visit From Mr. Baseball Bat
by fatsally
2009-10-26
This story came to light last week and it has troubled me, probably because as a teacher I have had parents say the same thing to me.
15 year old Daniel Walton was sent home from school because he refused to...
READ ALL You WannaShow A Liddle Respect
2009-10-24
Trees For SPAM
by ianrthorpe
You may have been under the impression that goal of the Copenhagen Climate Summit in December is to agree a binding treaty to fight global warming, I know I certainly was. We have been misled however. According to leaders of a militant
2009-10-23
ASDA Sat Nav Can't See The Wood For The Trees
by ianrthorpe
We love Stat Nav disaster stories at Boggart Blog so when we found a report of an ASDA delivery van driver showing a level of blind faith in science and technology that would ... READ ALL Asda Sat Nav
2009-10-22
Blue Blair’s New Nazi Best Buddies?
by Ian R Thorpe
To be perfectly honest I never held out any hopes that the Cameron led Conservatives would be much different to New Labour’s “progressive left” neo nazis. David Cameron, a slick, silver tongued, smooth face ex public schoolboy for whom spin mattered ... READ ALL Blue Blair's New Nazi Best Buddies
2009-10-22
Things Not To Do In The Delivery Suite: A Guide For Prospective Fathers
by fatsally
When I were nobbut a lass, there were many jokes, cartoons and comedy sketches involving birth.
In all these instances birth was depicted as something that took place behind closed doors whilst the husbands paced up and down in the corridor, awaitng the news ... READ ALL Things Not To Do In The Delivery Suite
2009-10-21
The First Aid Technique Formerly Know As Heimlich Manoeuvre
by ianrthorpe
It was a surprise to hear sometime in the past few days that we are no longer allowed to refer to that trick where when someone is choking on a fishbone, pretzel or.... READ ALLFirst Aid Technique Formerly Known As...
2009-10-21
Biscuitgate
by fatsally
As speculation grows once again regarding plans to oust Gordon from the leadership of the Labour Party and therefore the Prime Ministership of the UK you have to wonder where the loyalty of his...READ ALL Biscuitgate
2009-10-21
The First Aid Technique Formerly Know As Heimlich Manoeuvre
by ianrthorpe
It was a surprise to hear sometime in the past few days that we are no longer allowed to refer to that trick where when someone is choking on a fishbone, pretzel or...READ ALL First Aid Technique Formerly Known As Heimlich Manouevre
2009-10-20
Adipose Offsetting
by fatsally
Well, not only do we have several Olympic gold medalists, hold The Ashes and boast the current and elect Formula World Champions but also, according to The Sun, Britain is home to the world's fattest man...REAL ALL Adipose Offsetting.
2009-10-20
So That's Where I Where I Went Wrong!
by fatsally
Katie Price, aka Jordon, glamour model, horsewoman, celebrity, business woman, author, mother and all round slapper has been shortlisted for the Celebrity Mum of the Year.
Since the spring the screaming red tops have carried an incessant stream of front page stories concerning Katie's lurid private life, even managing to make the front... READ ALL So Thet's Where I Went Wrong
2009-10-19
Flambeed Finn, Anyone
. by fatsally
A while back I shared my observation that F1 was getting more like a tired old soap everyday.
Well hell they've even got around to repeating the same...READ ALL Flameed Finn
Government By Fear And Panic
by Ian R Thorpe
2009-10-19
Gordon Brown has been using the tactics of government by fear and panic to try to swing public opinion behind the treaty he will propose at the big expensive jolly for world leaders in a foreign city sorry, I mean climate summit in Copenhagen. At this jolly old booze up the great and good will get together and decide...
For Sale Two Teenagers, Hardly Used
by fatsally
2009-10-18
A woman in America faces trial after selling two children in her care for $170 (about £100) and a white cockatiel.
I dunno, sounds like a plan to me, so here goes... READ ALL Two Teenagers - Hardly Used
2009-10-17
Lethal Weapon or Stressed Out Dad.... hmmn, not quite the same is it?
by fatsally
How times change!
When I undertook my first First Aid course we were told that even though you saw it in the movies, the way to pop a dislocated shoulder back into its socket was not to put your foot on the side of the chest and give a good upwards tug on the offending arm, but to place a tennis ball in the dislocated arm pit and apply...
READ ALL Lethal Weapon Or Stressed Out Dad
2009-10-16
Strange Bedfellows, a lib dem and a lingerie model
by ianrthorpe
What topics do we think might come up in the post coital conversation of a Liberal Democrat MP and business & enterprise spokesman and a lady who models underwear for...READ ALL Strange Bedfellows
2009-10-15
Let Down By Hope? Embrace Nihilistic Despair.
by ianrthorpe
Following the shock of last week’s announcement that the Nobel Peace Prize for 2009 had been awarded to Barack Obama in spite of nominations for the prize closing only a few days after he was inaugurated as President of the...
READ ALL Let Down By Hope - Embrace Nihilistic Despair
2009-10-14
What's In A Name #1
by fatsally
Remember how you used to snigger at the kids with the funny... READ ALL
2009-10-14
It's All In The Name Take Two
by fatsally
You will possibly recall at the start of the school year back in September the uproar surrounding the sharing of the knowledge that teachers feel they can spot... READ ALL
Guinness Gazing Education Expert.
The latest recommendations from the health and safety nannies and the politically correct thought police to halt all scientific experiments in school classrooms in the interests of child safety makes mockery of the givernment's pledges to boost science teaching in schools. So where will the do -gooders attack next?
Learn Yersel Jadeish.
The government is in the process of revising immigration policy in response to complaints that people who come here to work should be able to speak English. But academic tutoring may not prepare people for the workplace, they need to learn English like what it is spoke.
GCSE English? F*ck Off.
One of the recurring themes in the education debate is the issue of dumbing down. Educationalists always insist this is not happening. One examiner when making this year's english papers was plleasantly surprised by an erudite answer we are happy to report
Sleeping With Conservatives - The Sex Of Politics
by ianrthorpe
2009-10-08
Could You Hug A Tory asks a feature in today’s Guardian in which several typical Guardian writers describe their feelings of fear and loathing when, purely in the interests of science of course, they hugged prominent members of the Conservative Party.
In another feature the excellent Lucy Mangan describes what it is like to be a typical labour voting, politically correct thinking Guardian writer and be married to... READ ALL Sleeping With Conservatives - The Sex Of Politics
Today In Manchester
by Ian R Thorpe
2009-10-06
Today's guest blog from the Conservative conference in Manchester is contributed by Rupert Chynliss - Wunder, a Tory work and pensions spokesman.
OK Yah! Are we weady to wock Manchester? When old Cammers and Osborne talk about getting disabled people off benefit and back to work we expect the namby pamby hand winging wefties to start whining so we don't give too much. READ ALL Today In Manchester
Lord Snooty And His Pals Begin Their Conference by ianrthorpe @ 2009-10-05 – 16:02:24
This week, in acknowledgement of their ascendancy in the political zodiac, we will hand the blog to Lord Snooty And His Pals Today’s article is contributed by The Hon. Jeremy Ponsonby – Snob, the Shadow Minister for...
The Logic Of Python by ianrthorpe
Before we hand over control of the blog to Lord Snooty And His Pals for the duration of the Conservative Party Conference we’d like to use today’s post in appreciation of Monty Python’s Flying Circus as we celebrate the show’s...
2009-10-02
Charity Returns But Don’t Be Uncharitable To Boris
by ianrthorpe
Last night saw the return of the “iconic” (according to the Radio Times) character Charity to the Emmerdale district of Soapland.
Charity, played by gorgeous Emma Atkins, has never had any luck with men. In the first scene of her return after a four year absence she is standing at...CLICK HERE to read all Charity Returns But Don't Be Uncharitable To Boris
1 October 09
Isn't It Grand Boys To Be Bloody Well Red
by Ian R Thorpe
By tradition Labour Party conferences used to close with the delegates singing The Red Flag. The song tells of a flag that unites the workes of the world and owes its coulour to being dyed by the blood of the movement's martyrs. Labour abandoned the working class a long time ago and became .. GO TO Boggart Blog to hear the song Isn't It Gand Boys To Be Bloody Well Red or read the lyric
30 Sept 09
If I Could Rule The World
by cleohart
All over the news today is the big story that The Sun has withdrawn its support for the Labour Government. I'll bet this has come as a major blow. Talk about shitty little rats leaving the sinking ship. (We are assured that this is nothing at all to do with...
READ ALL If I Could Rule The World
The Silence Of The Labour Lambs
by Ian R Thorpe
2009-09-29
Is Gordon Brown a mentalist? That is the question we must ask today. Boggart Blog, as you know, has never shown much restraint in laying into Gordon Brown for incompetence, egomania, and the way he treats us all as if we are as stupid as the average Labour MP.
For those same reasons we find it impossible to sympathise with the...READ ALL Silence Of The Labour Lambs
In The Future The Saddest Thing Will Be...
by Ian R Thorpe
2009-09-28
In the future The Politically Correct Thought Police and their cohorts in New Labour and The Lib Dems, The Health and Safety Executive and the dark forces of The Nanny State will conspire to suck all the joy out of life and turn us into... READ ALL In The Future The Saddest Thing Will Be
St Thérèse gig at Paddy’s Wigwam
by Ian R Thorpe
2009-09-27
Who would have thought it possible? St Thérèse is touring the UK again. Last week she was packing them in at the Paddy’s Wigwam venue in Liverpool. People queued round the block to get in we hear and the “Little Flower” is drawing bigger crowds than Duran Duran or Spandau Ballet on their ... READ ALL St Thérèse gig at Paddy’s Wigwam
Practical Sex Education
Schools have been teaching the theory of safe sex for years but with STDs and teenage pregnancy on the rise the lessons don't seem to be sinking in. What kids need is practical sex education says Boggart Blog's Fat Sally... READ ALL Practical Sex Education
Macology, The Science Of Burger Flipping
For some the announcement that employer - specific specialised training courses are to be accepted as vocational qualifications is proof that standards in education have hot rock bottom. But how do those people feel for whom a degre in Macology might be the only qualification they wll ever get... READ ALL Macology, The Science Of Burger Flipping
Decaffinated Bullshit
by Ian R Thorpe
2009-09-26
In one of our very first Boggart Blog posts titled The Bullshit Factor we revealed scientific proof that bullshit and not money makes the world go round.
Everything is bullshit these days, even doing something simple like ordering a cup of coffee, you know you are only going to get a cup of bullshit. We always knew of course that those multinational chains that sell plastic foam in plastic foam cups were selling...
CLICK HERE to read Decaffinated Bullshit
2009-09-24
Gordon and Obama 4 Ever!
by fatsally
Both Washington and London are denying rumours of a rift between Gordon the Terrible and President O following the story that GB had to pursue Barack through... READ ALL Gordon & Obama 4 ever
Hospital Deaths - A Lucky Escape by ianrthorpe @ 2009-09-23 – 15:54:32
The news this morning carried a worrying story. It seems there is one week in the year when you really, I mean really, really, really do not want to be admitted to hospital ... READ ALL Hospital Deaths - A Lucky Escape
2009-09-22
Everything Is Getting Too Silly.
by ianrthorpe
What could be more important than life and death. Well former Liverpool football club manager bill Shankley was once asked if football was a matter of life and death to him?”
Bill, or “Shanks” as he was affectionately know, replied, “Erm – no, it’s more important than that.
People around the world have different ways of dealing with matters of life and...READ ALL Everything Is Getting Too Silly
Gordon Says The C Word
An office at 10 Downing Street.
A young reporter enters and walks over to shake hands with the big man behind the desk.
BBC: Good Morning Mr. Brown. I'm from the BBC, Boggartblog Cub Reporter that is. Thank you very much for taking the time to see me and hopefully answer...READ ALL Gordon Says The C Word.
2009-09-21
Schadenfreude is the Zeitgeist.
by Ian R Thorpe
Oh dear, what subtle traps the gods lay for members of The Politically Correct Thought Police as those individuals walk on hot coals in trying to be PC on every issue when often defending one oppressed minority means offending another.
Not long ago I was attacked in several threads...READ ALL Schadenfreude Is The Zeitgeist
Gordon Says The C Word. by fatsally @ 2009-09-21 – 19:14:03
An office at 10 Downing Street.
A young reporter enters and walks over to shake hands with the big man behind the desk.
BBC: Good Morning Mr. Brown. I'm from the BBC, Boggartblog Cub Reporter that is. Thank you very much for taking the time to see me and hopefully answer
To Hell And Back Before The Pubs Close
With religions having such a downer on sex one might think they would be in favour of drink, I mean if you drink enough you are going to be too busy choking on your own vomit to bother about shagging. In spite of that religious leaders continue to promise hell and buggeration to people who like a bevvy
Here Be Dragons
Adults in the developed nations of the west claim they are not frightened on monsters but our fears emanate from the most primitive parts of the brain. Can you really be sure there are no monsters lurking in the deep dark depths of your imagination?
KEYWORDS: monsters, dragons, medieval
2009-09-20
A Baaad Time Fer Pirates, Mates
by ianrthorpe
Greeting you scurvey swaabs, Boggart Blog Pirating correspondent Blaack Jaack Baastard 'yer to wite th' blog for Internaaational Talk Like A Pirate Day. Not my usual boisterous style of greeting eh mates? No, well you see poor ol' Jack, 'ee's been depressed. These paaast twelve months has seen nothin' but baad news...READ ALL A Baaad Time Fer Pirates
2009-09-19
Return Of The Jedi (without his cornflakes)
It is the task of Jedi Knights to save the Universe from evil emperors, criminally insane slugs or toads, I never quite worked out what Jabba the Hutt of Star Wars fame was supposed to be, droids, clones, lizard men and blokes that of gone over to the dark side because they get to wear silly helmets and talk in ... READ ALL Return Of The Jedi 9 without his cornflakes)
2009-09-18
Steve Jobs New Gadget The Apple Of His Liver
by ianrthorpe
Apple are the people who brought you computers that were very ordinary in every way except for the prices and made extremely expensive little grey boxes cool. It is no wonder then that in the warped world of high technology the Apple CEO Steve Jobs has gained the status of a demi god.
Jobs, or Jobbies as he would be known in less reverential Britain, is worshipped...READ ALL Steve Jobs New Gadget The Apple Of His Liver
2009-09-17
Eat Sunlight: Japan’s Weird Approach To Saving The Planet
by Ian R Thorpe
Japan’s newly sworn in Prime Minister, Yukio Hatoyama is a bit of an oddball, they are some ideas in his manifesto that seem to have been culled from the philosophies of 1960s California stoner communities. Still his heart is in the right place. Mr. Hatoyama has pledged his nation will lead the fight against...
READ ALL Eat Sunlight: Japan's Approach To Saving The Planet
The F1, From Renault.
by fatsally
Renault today unveiled their new advertising campaign.
The luxury motorhome of a Renault F1 team.
The camera focusses on a silver haired man reclining in a leather armchair.
The door opens, a young racing driver wearing the team's overalls enters, carrying
READ ALL The F1 From Renault
2009-09-16
Omnivore, Herbivore Or What?
by Cleo Hart
This week has seen the Americans (god love them) coin the term Flexi-tarian. It means people who are mostly vegetarian but eat meat if they feel their body needs it, or to save embarrassment when at someone's house for dinner who didn't know you don't eat meat. Its the new trend. And actually I probably fall into this... READ ALL Omnivore, Herbivore or What?
The Politically Correct Way To Call Someone A Liar
by Ian R Thorpe
Congressman Joe Wilson made a lot of trouble for himself when he shouted 'You Lie' at Barack Obama during the Presidents big speech on healthcare. Wilson was not wrong but it is a breach of etiquette to name someone, especially the President, as a liar in the debating chamber. Here are some politically correct ways of saying Liar, liar, pants on fire. READ FULL POSTPolitically Correct Liars
2009-09-15
Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Stop Hating Blair
by Ian R Thorpe
We all thought Tony Blair had got out of our faces and gone off to help the Israelis and Palestinians out with their target practice. WRONG!
Having popped up in Sardinia a couple of weeks ago, taking a break from...READ ALL Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Stop Hating Blair
2009-09-15
Poetic Tribute To A Prodigious Drinker (Keith Floyd)
by Ian R Thorpe
Keith Floyd
enjoyed
the finest things in life.
Let’s not pretend...READ ALL Poetic Tribute To A Prodigious Drinker
2009-09-15
Another Load Of Balls From The Government
by Fatsally
Ed Balls, Minister for Child Related Cock-ups today announced that in light of public and professional uproar concerning his proposal to set up the Independent Safeguarding Authority which would use not only hard evidence of abuse as used in...READ ALL Another Load Of Balls From The Government
2009-09-15
CorrEastBrook Grands Prix
by Fatsally
You know how soap storylines get more and more farfetched?
So Brookie had Mrs. Corkhill being raped by a taxi driver.
Young Damon gets stabbed when he runs away.
Terry's wife/girlfriend and toddler fell or were pushed off the roof of a building.
Next up was the wife beater Trevor... READ ALL CorrEastBrook Grand Prix
2009-09-13
Are Labour Too Eyebrow For The Electorate.
by Ian R Thorpe
As the Labour Party sinks ever lower in polls there is talk once more of a conspiracy to oust Gordon Brown at the party conference.
The latest in a long line of pretenders being put forward as the person to turn...READ ALL Are Labour Too Eyebrow For The Electorate
2009-09-12
Ello ello ello, looking for business are we?
by Ian R Thorpe
The best unreported news story of the week is the case of the policewoman prostitute. This is not a story of an attractive female police office going undercover in stiletto heels and a micro-mini skirt to bring a pimp to justice. Oh no, this is a plain and simple instance of...READ ALL Ello ello ello, looking for business are we?
2009-09-11
At 4:30 am No One Can Hear You Scream
by fatsally
Once upom a time we had a cat who was a brilliant mouser. Now we have cats who are brilliant at bringing mice into the house, but as with all today's youngsters, they get bored and abandon their playthings after a few minutes and wander off to... READ ALL At 4:30 am Nobody Can Hear You Scream
Shock Horror! Caster Semenya Has BollocksHate to say it but I told you so. I didn't get where I am today without knowing a bloke when I see one.
2009-09-10
Gay Man Sues God
by
Ian R Thorpe
2009-09-10
Another from the Only In America skip.
A friend pointed me to this report on a U.S. Christian news site.
Gay Man Sues God For Mental Anguish.
As always we warn you should not take anything you read on Boggart Blog any more seriously than you would take things you read in minstream media. The gay man in question is not actually suing God but only we suspect because lawyers Read all Gay Man Sues God
2009-09-09
Youngest Person To Be Strapped To A Much larger Person And Chucked Out Of An Aeroplane
by fatsally
A while ago Cleo Hart posted about the unfairness of the unimpaired aiding the impaired as in blind runners having a guide runner in the special olympics the blind runner gets the medal and the...
READ ALL ABOUT The Youngest Skydiver
2009-09-09
Hands Off Our Spotted Dick
by fatsally
County council catering staff in Flintshire have re-named Spotted Dick, the currant sprinkled suet pudding.
They claim its name results in smutty remarks from customers
READ ALL Hands Off Our Spotted Dick
2009-09-09
Do Sex Shops Smell Of Piss?
by ianrthorpe
Mobile phone networks are to be asked by London City Hall to cut off pimps and prostitutes during the run-up to the 2012 Olympic Games, by...READ ALL Do Sex Shops Smell Of Piss.
2009-09-08
Who Would Have Thought It?
by fatsally
In the past Boggartblog has brought you news on Pies of Mass Destruction and Cheeses of Evil Intent, but now a more terrifying threat from the world of food.
Along with allegedly being the most popular biscuit with British consumers, Custard Creams have been identified as the most dangerous...
READ ALL Who Would Have Thought It
2009-09-08
Little Nicky Sarkozy
by Ian R Thorpe
Nothing to do with our companion blog that goes by the name Little Nicky (Machiavelli) today we have to comment on the lengths French President Little Nicky Sarkozy has to go to in disguising... READ ALL Little Nicky Sarkozy
Return Of The Flesh Eating Zombie Bacteria
Actually the story linked is crap bur we couldn't not write the headline
2009-09-03
2009-09-06
Cat Woman And The Insanest Thing Ever
by Ian R Thorpe
I'm not a great fan of cats. So what was I doing watching a program on television that was devoted to the vile creatures. Well Joanna Lumley was presenting it, nuff said.
Anyway I'm glad I did because I saw the most insane...
READ ALL Cat Woman and the insanest thing ever.
2009-09-05
Big Brown Bag O' Shite
by Ian R Thorpe
Last week I posted an article to remind you all what a bag o’ shite Tony Blair is. The purpose was to make sure the truth is out there as Blair tries to reinvent himself as The World’s Greatest Catholic. The responses to the post included along with the usual witty banter from regular readers some outraged whines from fans of Tony Blair. These sad little people were, with one honourable exception, they are the type who create an e-mail address solely to comment in one thread so their comments have no value at all. But I would not want the nerds to think they are not appreciated. You see, being nerds they just couldn’t let things lie, they had to try to impose their views on Boggart Blog. This meant we got a bumper crop of comments which kept the thread attracting traffic for several days.
Let’s see if we can pull off the same trick with Gordon Brown who has been nominated this week’s bog o’shite of the week. Why has he been awarded that title you might well ask? It is because he continues to believe we are all too stupid to know that when he talks of green shoots of recovery he is just trying to get us.
READ ALL Big Brown Bag O' Shite at Boggart Blog
2009-09-04
Most Of Michael Jackson Buried.
by Ian R Thorpe
The funeral of most of Michael Jackson has taken place in Los Angeles. Although it has not been widely publicised by news media, one of the reasons it has taken for Jacko’s body to be interred is that as paramedics fought to save the singer following... READ ALL Most Of Michael Jackson Buried
Incandescent Rage
by Ian R Thorpe
Enthusiastic reader Ian Thorpe pleads for his incandecent light bulbs to be given back, for reading lamps at least.
2009-09-02
A Degree Of Punishment
by ianrthorpe
A charity that campaigns and works for prison reform has said that prison officers should be required to have a University degree.
Successfully completing a degree course in beating people lightly with iron bars, administering electric shocks and performing body cavity searches will...READ ALL A Degree Of Punishment
2009-09-01
Wuthering Heights - Condensed Version
by Ian R Thorpe
Boggart Blog has often slated politicians and senior civil servants for drawing big fat salaries without having done any work to earn them. There is one profession however who are worse than even politicians when it comes to being paid for doing nothing and yet these people seldom come in for criticism. They are newspaper television critics.
Come on, how often have you read a review of a new show and thought “that bugger wasn’t watching the same programme I saw”. In fact he wasn’t watching anything, he was down the pub with his mates. The review is a thinly disguised version of the TV company press release.
The show that brought this to mind was the dreary, plodding adaptation of Wuthering Heights shown in two
READ ALL Wuthering Heights - Condensed Version
2009-08-31
No Flag, No Country
by Cleo Hart
Now then. China. They are generally unhappy about anything relating to the Dalai Lama, spitting in the direction of any country who welcomes a visit from him. This week they are unhappy about the Dalai Lama's visit to typhoon hit Taiwan in a bid to...
READ ALL No Flag, No Country
2009-08-31
Blair 2 - Tony, The Papal Emmissary.
by Ian R Thorpe
What have we learned recently about Tony Blair? Well, that he’s a c ....; yes but we’ve always known he’s one of those, I was going to say that he’s a Catholic. A very recent recruit to the Catholic Church in fact. So as most Catholics are still practising after half a lifetime we have a right to expect Tone would have spent a bit more time learning the ropes before...
READ ALL Blair 2 - Tony The Papal Emissary
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2009-08-31
Nude Models Of Paris Are Revolting
The bare naked ladies of Paris are not revolting in the sense of being disgusting and repellant. As far as we know they are in that sense at least as charming as ever. No they are up in arms about their terms and conditions of employment. Click the button to read the full story...
2009-08-30
Unhappy Hour Again
by Ian R Thorpe – 15:57:32
Forget all that bullshit about Cool Britannia, Things Can Only Get Better and Twenty Four Hour drinking if you hadn't already. It was never anything but public relations puff.
Revealing their true colours at last The Labour Perty have.. CLICK HERE to learn about Unhappy Hour
Forward Psychic Soldiers
It is well know the United States Military has a physchic warfare unit. What is not quite so well known, nor discussed in the mainstream media regularly is that the people running this unit do not live on planet reality...
They Didn't Think It Through (Again)
Don't you love it when a story that ought never to be of interest outside the local papers makes world news because people who consider themselves very smart just haven't thought things through properly...
2009-08-29
Atheists get the Christian bird (or dog or cat or tortoise)
by ianrthorpe
In yet another of those “only in America” type stories we learn that a group of atheists have show humanist charity in offering to take in pets left behind on Earth when Christian families float up to heaven after all their clothes fall off in the event Christian writings refer to as...
READ ALL Atheists Get The Christian Bird (or dog or cat or tortoise)
2009-08-28
The Only Reason You Will Ever Need To Hate The Toyota Prius...
by Ian R Thorpe
What is it that makes Ian R Thorpe hate the Toyota Prius. Is it the smug, self righteous bastards that drive them, the dubious statistics used to establish the green credentials of the car, the fact they look like a mororised turd or something else? Click on the button to find out
2009-08-26
Obama’s Middle East Breakthrough – Status Quo Preserved
by Ian R Thorpe
The cold light of reality is starting to shine on those who gathered in the newsrooms of media organisations to worship at the shrine of The Obamessiah. While the more fundamentalist members of the news community are today proclaiming the great “breakthrough” achieved by the...READ ALL Obama's Middle East Breakthrough...
2009-08-25
Illegal Downloaders to have broadband disconnected?
by ianrthorpe
Proposed laws published by the government today indicate a much tougher approach in future to people who persistently downloads music and video from free file sharing sites. The government proposal will protect the intellectual property of internet content creators by terminating the broadband service of persistent downloaders without...READ ALL Illegal Downloaders To Have Broadband Disconnected
2009-08-25
Why Is It Taking So Long?
by fatsally
Well good grief, The Ashes have been won for forty eight hours now, so why are the Government dragging their feet so?
Where is...READ ALL Why Is It Taking So Long
Are We Becoming A Nation Of Cat Swingers.
by Ian R Thorpe
2009-08-24
Last week a report on Britain’s housing crisis , highlighting the unfit-for-purposeness of many new build “starter homes” quoted details of an offering from one well known house builder. We will not name and shame them because the rest are as bad and anyway if we’re going to get sued we want it to be for insulting some pseudo – celebrity or accusing a well know politician of taking backhanders from Colonel Gadaffi. The “home” in question featured living room of just 3m x 3m. Assuming there is a door that makes fitting in a...
READ ALL Are We Becoming A Nation Of Cat Swingers
2009-08-22
Conservatives' "Bottoms Up Carrots" Housing Policy
by Ian R Thorpe
Aren't The Conservatives brilliant! Just when their popularity is soaring in the polls and they should be charging towards an overwhelming election victory they produce an upper class berk to remind us the next Tory Government will be just as...
READ ALL Conservatives "Bottoms Up Carrots Housing Policy
21 August 2009
X - Factor Returns - Keep Smiling Danni
by Ian R Thorpe
After a few weeks of absolutely dire Saturday night TV during which I was reduced first to watching Casualty and then to reading the gardening pages in the weekend magazine from my Saturday newspaper, the return of The X Factor tomorrow night...
READ ALL X - Factor Returns, Keep Smiling Danni
20 Aug 2009
Gender Testing For Athletes - What A Load Of Bollocks
Jenny’s success, a triumph of perseverance and determination after coaches had written her off as too delicate to compete in an event like the 800m at the highest level, is all the more notable as it came in a race that involved people with beards and quite possibly bollocks. The race was won by...
Gender Testing For Athletes - What A Load Of Bollocks
How To Embarrass Your Teenage Daughter #163
1) Go to a large DIY store.
2) Send her off to the paint aisle.
3) Wait patiently for ten minutes...
2009-08-19
Piracy On The Silly Season Seas - BREAKING NEWS
by Ian R Thorpe
With news breaking every few minutes on the story of the Russian freighter Arctic Sea which disappeared as it steamed through the Baltic en route for Algeria and turned up a few days later 4000 miles away off Cape Verde, we go straight over...
READ ALL Piracy On The Silly Season Seas
2009-08-18
Secreting Weapons On Your Person Can Be Dangerous
by fatsally
Following an incident where an obese prisoner endured three searches but still managed to keep the 9mm handgun he had concealed in his rolls of flab hidden from the searchers...
READ ALL Secreting Weapons On Your Person Can Be Dangerous
2009-08-17
Allies Neutralise Afghan Beards of Terror
by Ian R Thorpe
Boggart Blog was the first mainstream news network to report fully and fearlessly the role played by beards in the war being waged by funny mentalists and people of Evelyn Tent against the civilised world. Beards are a weapon integral to the...
READ ALL Allies Neutralise Afghan Beards Of Terror
2009-08-17
We Don't Need No Edukashun
by fatsally
Whilst the nation's teenagers await their forthcoming exam results with baited breath, Boggartblog is able to bring you details of the government's latest plans for ensuring that everybody gets at least 12 A* passes (or equivalent) at...
READ ALL We Don't Need No Edukashun
2009-08-16
Fighting Back Against The Food Fascists.
by Ian R Thorpe
All too often in the past when we have reported on the activities of scientists who labour on behalf of Nanny State and her cohorts Big Pharma and Big Food it has been to warn you of their latest wild adventure in spreading fear and panic by...
READ ALL Fighting Back Against Food Fascists
2009-08-15
More Teachers Than Pupils Drop Out Of School.
by Ian R Thorpe
Earlier this week we had a New Labour clone drop in on one of our old education related posts to tell us Boggart Bloggers what evil people we are for making fun of those wonderful people who staff our schools and deliver...
CLICK HERE to find out why more teachers than pupils drop out of school
2009-08-14
Me Doc? I Never Touch A drop!
by fatsally
Great news this week for anyone who imbibes on a regular basis but daren't go to the doctor with an ingrowing toe nail for fear of getting told off about the danger of...
READ ALL Me Doc, I never Touch A Drop
2009-08-14
Olympic Womens' Boxing, Another Resounding Triumph For Feminism
by Ian R Thorpe
Those redoubtable campaigners for women's rights have won another notable victory against the dark forces of masculine superiority. In the next Olympic games women will box competitively for
READ ALL Olympic Womens' Boxing, Another Resounding Triumph For Feminism
2009-08-14
Taliban Agree Ceasefire
by ianrthorpe
Great headline isn't it, one we all welcome but don’t get carried away. Though not noted for their commitment to the cause of freeman moxy The Taliban have agreed to a temporary ceasefire to allow the Presidential elections in Afghanistan to take place next week. Afghans will be able to go to the polls on election day without fear of being gunned down by the militant Muslim militia members.
A Taliban spokesman told Boggart Blog “ We, the Taliban, have no official candidate in the Presidential election so in the interests of fairness we decided to suspend hostilities in order to allow supporters of actual candidates to intimidate voters.”
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Olympic Womens' Boxing, Another Resounding Triumph For Feminism
by Ian R Thorpe
2009-08-14
Those redoubtable campaigners for women's rights have won another notable victory against the dark forces of masculine superiority. In the next Olympic games...
READ ALL Olympic Womens' Boxing, Another Resounding Triumph For Feminism
2009-08-13
The Lost Generation - Youth unemployment
by Ian R Thorpe
News today that one in five eighteen to twenty four year olds is unemployed is indeed terrible. Are we to suppose this figure represents those actively... CLICK HERE to read The Lost Generation
2009-08-12
The Cure For Swine Flu – Clutch At A Straw.
by ianrthorpe
Nu Labour Health Minister the boyish Andy Burnham, as he tries to assure us the government is on top of the pandemic of fear and panic they generated about Swine Flu increasingly takes on the air of desperation of a... READ ALL The Cure For Swine Flu at Boggart Blog
Bogoff Mr. Brown
by fatsally
News yesterday that the government wishes to prevent supermarkets from using BOGOF promotions in an effort to cut down on the huge amount of food thrown... READ ALL Bogoff Mr Brown at Boggart Blog
2009-08-11
Premiership Priorities
by ianrthorpe
The football season is with us again and though in the face of a global recession players wages and transfer fees are more inflated than ever it is good to hear of one Premiership clubs...READ ALL Premiership Priorities
2009-08-11
What's new Pussycat?
by fatsally
Well, on his return to government Boggartblog noted the resemblance of Peter Mandelson to the older guy out of...READ ALL What's New Pussycat
2009-08-11
Beware Greeks Bearing Lighter fuel
by fatsally
Oh dear, it's not easy being a "lad" these days is it?
There you are, off your face in a Greek bar. You see a tasty bit of local tottie, so what do you do?...
READ ALL Beware Greeks Bearing Lighter Fuel
2009-08-10
Who’s More Nazi Than The Anti Nazi League?
by Ian R Thorpe
One of the little ironies that gave sharp witted observers of the world much pleasure over the years was the fact that the most Nazi organisation in Britain was the Anti–Nazi League.
Yes, wherever your friendly local right wing extremist group tried to exercise their democratic right to demonstrate peacefully in support of their point of view, the anti – nazi league rent-a-mob would not...READ ALL Who's More Nazi Than The Anti Nazi League
2009-08-10
Cameron "All Sizzle And No Substance" by the man who would know.
by Ian R Thorpe
It is reported today that Barack Obama describes David Cameron as "all sizzle and no substance" adding that Gordon Brown is a man of substance.
Cameron should take this seriously, Obama, a man for whom...READ ALL Cameron all sizzle and no substance
2009-08-09
Politically Correct Thought Police To Abolish High Heels?
by Ian R Thorpe
During the Trade Union Congress (doesn’t that sound like a sex technique from The Kama Sutra specially for factory workers ?) annual conference this week the New Labour Politically Correct Thought Police (chairperson Hattie Harridan) have sponsored a debate about whether women being forced....READ ALL Politically Correct Thought Police To Abolish High Heels?
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2009-08-08
Spreading Fear And Panic, It’s Just Not Cricket.
by Ian R Thorpe
So England’s much hyped chances of clinching the Ashes series against Perfidious Bruceland at Headingly this week took a very rapid nosedive when Albion’s finest forgot which end of the bat they should get hold of.
Many things arse being blamed for...READ ALL Spreading Fear And Panic? It's Just Not Cricket
2009-08-07
Just What Don't They get?
by fatsally
Well it's happened again.
We get to the fourth test, Two draws and one win.
The press start up, lauding in this instance Freddie Flintoff, and guess what? He has to pull out, hurt.
The press are undaunted, they bang on about... READ ALL Just What Don't They Get at Boggart Blog
2009-08-06
Midsomer Mishaps
by ianrthorpe
I like Midsomer Murders, now don’t start some of you – I know you think I should spend all my television time watching documentaries on BBC2 but of an evening I like the kind of shite that does... READ ALL Misomer Mishaps at Boggart Blog
All Animals are Equal, But Some are More Equal Than Others
by fatsally
So Harriet Harperson thinks that men are no good.
Well I have to relate this little incident, it ranks along there with us girls not being able to read a map (I can cos I'm a tomboy); not being able to tell our left from right, and not being able to go to...READ ALL Harriet Harperson Thinks Men Are No Good
2009-08-05
The New Cow Tipping Is Smart
by fatsally
Have you ever heard about cow tipping?
I'm not quite sure if this is urban or rather rural myth, but rumour has it out in the sticks bored youths will get together in gangs of three or four, and, probably fuelled by Special Brew, proceed to the nearest incline on which cattle are... READ ALL The New Cow Tipping Is Smart at Boggart Blog
When Bill Met Kim by Ian R Thorpe
Former U.S. President bill Clinton travelled to North Korea yesterday for talks with the "dead leader" Kim.
Mr. Clinton was said to be disappointed to find himself confronted by a seventy year old despot. He though he had a date with the actress who played Samantha in Sex An The City.
2009-08-04
Life Is Just A Bowl Of Soap Suds.
by specialcorrespondent
Often when I mention that soaps are watched in our house people express surprise: “You don’t watch such nonsense do you Ian!” they will exclaim.
Leaving aside the fact that just because the soaps are playing on television does not necessarily mean I am watching (although I might take more interest when...READ ALL life Is Just A Bowl Of Soap Suds
2009-08-04
RIP Benson: Star Of The Carps
by fatsally
Boggartblog is saddened to report the death of Benson the carp.
Benson lived in Bluebell Lakes, near Peterborough and was a firm favourite with the anglers.
She was introduced into the lake in 1995, as a twenty pounder, when the owner thought she was about five years old.
Over the ensuing years she continued to grow, eventually weighing
READ MORE about Benson The Carp
2009-08-02
Harriet Harridan slams male bias in Labour leadership.
by Ian R Thorpe
As former vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin steps back from her high profile politcal career citing sexism in the media and American politcs as her reason for quitting
the Labour Party deputy leader Harriet Harridan has launched an attack...
READ ALL Harriet Harridan slams male bias at Boggart Blog
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