Boggart Blog Central
Boggart Network NewsArchive 6 - All the news that can possibly be made up
Humour, or humor if you must, is in limited supply in the world but if you are looking for laughter look no more. In the past decade trust in the media has diminished so you would be justified in asking "Can we trust Boggart Network News?" Well yes you can, we are proud to say we have never sacrificed a joke for the sake of the truth. Delve into Boggart Blog but be prepared to find yourself taking life less seriously.
Creative Commons: Some rights reserved (non commercial, attrib, no derivs.
All reproductions in whole or in part should link to Greenteeth Multi Media Productions http://www.greenteeth.com/index
Peta's High Horse Not Given Much Chance By The Bookies
by fatsally @ 2013-04-02 – 17:50:44
Keywords: sport, pigeon, boat, horse, race, grand-national, politically-correct,satire,
The Nazi Left Want To Boycott A Fascit Football Manager
by ianrthorpe @ 2013-04-02
Keywords: sport, football, fascist, sunderland, satire,
American Libertarians Say Keep Government Out of Marriage
by ianrthorpe @ 2013-04-01 – 21:57:03
Keywords: marriage, gay, same, sex, libertarian, america, constitution, satire,
Human Meat Found In Food On Supermarket Shelves
by ianrthorpe @ 2013-03-31 – 18:24:51
Keywords: food, meat, supermarket, horse, human,satire,
The Ultimate Fat Fascism
Gay marriage And Social Madness"
Drone Strike On Downing Streeet
Yvette Cooper Says It Is Right To Support Gay Marriage. Who the Fuck Asked Her?
King Richard III Discovered In A Car Park
Sometimes You Could Not Make Up Anything Dafter Than The Real News
Zimbabwe Is Broke But Boggart Blog Has A Planby fatsally
Dog Faces Death Sentence For Being Gayby ianrthorpe Not in Africa, not in Saudi Arabia but in the USA
where if you believe mainstream media everybody is gay.
The Day That Einstein Fearedby ianrthorpe
Albert Einstein issued a stark warning of a threat to humanity. It looks as if the day he feared has arrived.
Scottish Independence Referendum Bias Rowby ianrthorpe
Makes You Pround To Be British fatsally
At Last! Scientist Admits The Science Is Wrongby ianrthorpe
Boggart Blog gets accused of being unfair to science. But when scientists will not admit they might be wrong even when the evidence is stating them in the fucking face, someone has to.
The Mayan Prophecy? Another Case Of Never Trust A Fahkin' HippyThe truth about that Mayan Calendar Doomsday Prophecy ...
20 December 2012
Will Crowdsourcing Deliver The US Miltary A Whacky Races Tank?The Pentagon's DARPA (Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency) has launched a crowdsourcing initiative to enlist help from "the wisdom of the crowd" in designing a new armoured fighting vehicle.
Good luck to the American soldiers who will have to use this technology. They will need it if they ever come up against a serious army.
Willy Watching OnlineFirst of all I want to make it clear that we are not the kind of blog that would get cheap laughs by making fun of people with unusual names.
Can Statistics Really Make You Live Longer
by Ian R Thorpe
Statisticians who predicted a win for Barack Obama in the US Presidential election are now casting themselves as prophets, soothsayers and Sybilline Oracles and making outrageous claims that statistics can affect how long we live. Is this justified? W-e-e-e-e-e-l-l-l-l-l-l, they were rightish. All the science head managed to do in fact was call the winner of a two horse race correctly, a trick which anybody has a 50% chance of pulling off.
Few regular gamblers would bet to win in as two horse race (or a football, cricket, boxing match). The bookies would offer much more attractive odds on the winning margin, how many lengths a horse would win by, how many runs or wickets a cricket team would secure victory by, in which round a boxer would prevail.
On that basis most of the American statisticians were within their margin of error (which is set at plus or minus 4 %. Now as voter shifts tend to be small in American elections being "within the acceptable margin of error" means totally wrong.
The statistics boys are undeterred and are even claiming Obama's victory was down to the science of a pollster named Nate Silver. Nothing to do with the people who turned out to vote Democrat then. Oh no, it was Silver's statistics wot won it. In fact Silver, whose statistical conjuring tricks were accompanied by commentary so biased he clearly thought it was an affront to democracy that Obama was not being returned unopposed, predicted a landslide for the Democrat. Obama squeaked home by less than two per cent of the votes cast.
But as you all should know, there are three kinds of lies, lies, damned lies and statistics and egged on by the election victory for the science of manipulating data the science heads are now claiming statistics can make you live longer.
Andrew Gache, longevity consultant at actuaries firm Club Vita, says that retiring at age 70 rather than 60 adds around 13 months to menâ€™s life expectancy â€“ and 12 months to womenâ€™s longevity â€“ even after allowing for differences in individualsâ€™ health, wealth and lifestyle.
Thatâ€™s really great news for the rising numbers of people arriving at what used to be retirement age with grossly inadequate savings to fund a life of leisure or any kind of life. Poor old sods find they struggled scrimped and saved to build a retirement fund and now find it is worth five pounds a year while the silly buggers who drank, smoked, gambled and took out loans to go on foreign holidays are doing very nicely thank you on taxpayer funded pension credits. Still, abolition of the default retirement age of 65 last month means more people who want to work until they are 90, lose their minds or can no longer hold themselves erect will now be able to do so.
If the thought of an extra decade at work is just too much, then Another aspect of research shows that much shorter periods of work can also improve life expectancy. For example, men who retire at 65 rather than 60 live an average of 7.5 months longer, while women who delay retirement by the same period live an extra 6.5 months.
As always with statistics though the key to uncovering the fraud lies in what is being counted. Many occupations make working into advanced old age impractical â€“ there arenâ€™t many septuagenarian bricklayers â€“ and individual illness will force those whose occupations are physically demanding or environmentally unhealthy will account for many early deaths.
Now a little balance has been brought into the equation some readers who are sceptical about pseudo sciences like statistics may prefer to ignore the science and side with former American President Ronald Reagan who observed: â€œThey say hard work never killed anyone but I figure, why take the chance?â€
Thereâ€™s more than a grain of truth in that joke, as demonstrated by Office for National Statistics data which shows that manual workers tend to die much younger than administrative staff. Dave Grimshaw of actuaries Barnett Waddingham pointed out: â€œLawyers, accountants and so on are a group in the data called â€˜higher managerial and professionalâ€™. They would have life expectancy of nearly 19 years for males at age 65. At the other end of the scale, you would have occupations such as labourers and cleaners, where life expectancy at 65 is nearer 15 years.â€
While medical advances, improved diet and cleaner working environments mean more people across Britain are living longer, the gap between lifespans for different groups of the population is growing, according to analysis by the Longevity Science Advisory Panel.
Here and now, the Club Vita research prompts the common sense question: why should working longer help us live longer? Bear in mind that, as mentioned above, the actuaries have not allowed for the fact that people forced to retire early by ill-health are likely to die sooner, as well as the mathematical fact that some who retire at 65 will die before reaching 70. To paraphrase the great Johnny Rotten, "Never trust a fahkin' scientist"
In the end the workshy and those who can think of more entertaining ways to spend their final years can argue that advice to work longer and live longer brings to mind a joke told by hard Drinking, chain smoking Irish comedian Dave Allen who died aged 68 but enjoyed every minute of it. A seeker asked a guru for the secret of eternal life and was advised to give up smoking, drinking, chocolate and sex.
â€œBut will that really make me live forever?â€ asked the questor after truth. â€œNo,â€ replied the guru, â€œbut every day will feel that way.â€
Update: How Not To Run An ElectionNearly Eight Million White Voters Who Were Expected To Vote Didn't Or did they? Allahpundit wonders why the missing votes in the US election were all in a social demographic that overwhelmingly supported Mitt Romney.
Update: Pollster Bill McInturff fires back hard at Trendeâ€™s theory by insisting that, while turnout may be down a little this year, the â€œmissingâ€ voters can be explained very simply: They just havenâ€™t been counted yet. In 2008, fully 9.5 million votes werenâ€™t counted until after election day. This year, it could be as high as 9.9 million based on projection. In fact, he says, turnout in swing states was up. Itâ€™s the Sandy states, not surprisingly, where the vote went down:
Two things, though. One: Trendeâ€™s piece attempted to account for ballots that hadnâ€™t been counted yet. He estimated that seven million were still outstanding. Even if he lowballed the number, there are still a lot of â€œmissingâ€ voters. Two: The exit poll data about reduced turnout among middle-class voters is what it is, no matter how many ballots are still out. Iâ€™m not sure why Sandy would have affected the middle class disproportionately, which means something else was keeping people in that bracket from the polls.
Solyndra, a company set up with $500 million of Obama's stimulus money to make and sell solar panels that would generate electricity from sunshine and feed it into the national grid declared itself ...
Christmas is coming - and Retail Christians are ready A look at how Christmas has made Christianity the religion of retailing and Christians the most evangelical of consumers
Petrol From Air? Castles In The Air.
BRITISH scientists have made petrol from the air in what they claim is a breakthrough which could end our reliance on fossil fuels. Air Fuel Synthesis of Stockton-on-Tees, Teesside, says it has produced five gallons of fuel suitable for family cars since August this year, using ...
Boggartblog Saves The Economy! Much discussion provoked by the report into 'The war on drugs' which draws the conclusion that in the war on drugs, the drugs and their suppliers are winning hands down. The authors recommend de-criminalising drugs and point to ...
Perfect: A cautionary tale of cosmetic surgery
I made this video some years ago for a collection titled A Two Faced Poet. The publisher has since gone out of business and copyright has reverted to me, so here is my warning in verse with music by
Driving home from Sheffield last night after an enjoyable evening watching Alan Davies, well worth the Â£25 if you get the chance to go along,however SezJez says she's never felt so young since she took her Dad to see ...
For Once The Animal Was Sober (not sure about the human) At this time of year Boggart Blog likes to bring you news about the misdemeanours of animals that have become intoxicated on alcohol formed by natural fermentation while dining on fruit fallen from trees. These stories usually involve sober humans ...No Conspiracy Is Too Big To Conceal Yesterday my little lass Cleo who is all growed up now and works as a sarcasticist for Boggart Blog posted an article about the Lance Armstong scandal which touched on the idea that all sport is corrupt, competitors can only ... ,p> The Curious Tale of Lance and the Bicycle
Yes, I could have gone with 'Terrible Truth about Lance', 'The Witch Hunt of a Legend' (depends which side you're on), or 'Its the Sun Wot Won It' (because, lets face it, given the number of runners up in all the
Climate Change Causes Global Warming
Newcastle United Muslim Wonga Problem
Shades of Purple
Coackroach Eating Champion Dies.
A teenager nearly died last weekend from drinking a liquid nitrogen cocktail.Drinks containing liquid nitrogen? You might well ask. It sounds like something Brian Cox would jabber on about during one of his crusades to persuade kids science isBudgie Smugglers the only safe swimwear on Hampstead Heath
After years of being ridiculed by the terminally under endowed and the fashion conscious my swimwear of choice is now suddenly back in the public eye. Budgie Smugglers are the recommended swimwear for those who don't want their nudger ...
Too Fat To Die
Inventor of Lambrini dies of alcohol poisoning
Euronazis persecute British citizen for exercising free speech right
West Ham Sign A Thouand Tons Of Racial, Homophobic, Mother-beating, Football Trouble
Fascist Judge Should Be Taken Outside And Shot. In one of the most gobsmackingly biased politically motivated ruling ever to come from a leftie judge, a left wing piolitoical activist judge who should not even be on the bench because of his political bias ruled that ...
Lay Off Our Adele, Limpdick.
Zombies Getting Back Together
Drivers Cool About Electric Cars
Boggart Blog Archives