logo

Boggart Blog Central


Electric Cars - A Mini Adventure In Futility


The famous advert for the BMW owned Mini depicts plucky little cars getting into scrapes and escaping by using their speed, engineering quality and a bit of panache. Governments and climate weirdie beardies may push electric cars but somehow we can't see these slow, heavey, short range vehiciles cutting it as objects of desire...

New Electric Car, a Mini adventure or wild adventure (in futility)
by Ian R Thorpe
2008-12-17
CREATIVE COMMONS: Attribute, non commercial, no derivs.
KEYWORDS: car, transport, electric, global_warming, climate_change, energy, green humour, humor

Amid much ballyhoo from tame environmentalists paid by Megacorp Inc. carmakers BMW have unveiled their electric mini. The regular mini, a good car though not a cute and charming as the original 1960s model, is a compact, sporty four seater ideal for trendy young meeja professional couples with a pair of matching children named Ethiopia and Sunflower. It rates well on performance, fuel economy and emissions.

The electric mini is more like a steam iron on wheels. The back seat is gone to accommodate a lithium ion battery the size of a big shed business unit. The battery makes the car 20% heavier than a standard model and, though the makers are coy about this. That extra weight positioned towards the rear of the car must make give it the handling qualities of a drunk on roller skates. both the 1960s Mini and the modern version were famed for their nimble steering and excellent roadholdng so selling something that drives like a supermarket trolley with a wonky wheel is hardly going to enhance the brand.

The big problem with all electric vehicles has always been range. BMW claim they have overcome this, the pre-launch literature says the electric mini will travel a hundred and fifty miles on a full charge. A hundred and fifty miles, WOW! that would get you from Manchester to three quarters of the way to London, from Carlisle to Preston Gubbals, from Liverpool to…erm… twenty miles south of Newcastle. No worries though, the electric mini only takes two hours to charge up on a special high power socket or a mere ten hours on a domestic socket. No problem then, who would not enjoy an opportunity to spend two hours chilling out at Watford Gap services. The kids, who customarily start ask in “Are we nearly there yet?” two miles from home would love it. Travelling on Holiday weekends would take a bit of planning though, can you imagine the queues of cars on the M5 or M6 waiting for their two hours on the high power sockets and not having any alternative but to queue as they are 140 miles from home.

The Governments Green science advisers and the leaders of The Church Of Scienceology cult are having orgasms over this latest electric car that is the first family car to offer reasonable performance and a practical range. Well no, actually the range is lousy and it is not a family car if there is an effing big battery where the back seats should be. As usual they are blinding themselves with science instead of thinking things through. Electric cars to replace the internal combustion engine are nowhere near ready for the market.

Most of us can see through the eyewash hurled at us by Megacorp and MegaGov. If pollution from cars is to be reduced we need some new ideas on local and long distance public transport. Revolutionary ideas, radical ideas, like investing public money for the benefit of the community.

Our dear government have no interest in reducing traffic of course and little in reducing emissions. having hit on the wizard wheezes of charging us per mile for motorway driving and a flat rate congestion charge for city driving they are intent on squeezing every penny they can out of us. London mayor Boris Johnson seems to be the only one who has got his head round the problem so far.

Bring on the Routemasters, Trolley Buses and Trams Boris.

As a footnote it's interesting to note that sales of the G-Wiz, the electric car that looks as if it came out of a cheap Christmas cracker, have dropped by 50%. The G-Wiz driven by the likes of Jonathan Ross and Jade Jagger is one of those contradictory items that has become cool because it is uncool.

Naturally the economic crisis is being blamed but Boggart Blog thinks the real reason is that anyone seen getting out of a G-Wiz is nabbed by the Top Gear Vigilantes and has the word DORK tattooed on their forhead.

28 August 2009 The Only Reason You Will Ever Need To hate The Toyota Prius Everything bad about electric and hybrid cars wrapped up in one model - with a few extras thrown in.

2 Feb 2009. An even nerdier idea is the one dreamed up in America of using electric cars as an alternative power source. Owners charge up the car on loe cost off peak electricity and discharge the stored electricity back into the grid during peak times. And when do you drive your car if it is always either charging or discharging? On top of that, what happens when everybody catches onto the idea and gets one of these cars. Increased overnight usage turns offpeak into peak for electricity demand. The really have not though this one through. Vehicle To Grid: Your Offpeak Power Source One of the technologies Sidi Barack Imbecile Obama is relying on to lead us out of the recession.

Updated 15 April 2009: Have General Motors and Seway launched the P.U.M.A their new personal transprot option as a serious attempt to deliver clean green journeys or are they trying to give us all a laugh in these difficult times?

RELATED POSTS:

Google Car Driverless Because No Sane Person Would Be Seen Dead In One
A few years ago Google boss Eric Schmidt said the company's aim was to get as close to creepy as they could without crossing the line. Well they had crossed the line long before he said that. The latest Google wirdness is the much hyped driverless car. It looks as if it was designed by a five year old. On the other hand it might be the ideal car for paedophiles who want to go cruising for jailbait.

Geneva Motor Show: Genius Or Geekery Gone Mad
It's The Car Of The Future - And It Runs On Petrol
How long have those research grant phishing, statistics rigging, peer review fiddling sciencyheads been telling us the car of the future would be powered by electricity? This was despite their best efforts after Squillions of Dollars, Pounds, Euros and Yen only having produced a hybrid that required both an electric motor and an internal combusion unit to ...

How Our Creature Comforts Are Baking The World
As the arguments rage on between the Climate Science Wankers lobby and the sceptis, realists and out and out deniers we observe that still nobody who gets media coverage, nobody who is talking sense about climate chaos, carbon based fuels, deforestation or over population is really being heard. Quite simply there are too many of us and we want too much. Who needs science or politics to understand that?

Segway Company Owner Dies After Riding His Segway Off A CliffNot long ago in our humour and satire title, Boggart Blog, we did a slaughter piece on former Liberal Democrat MP Lembit Opik promoting the ludicrous Segway electric scooter as a serious method of personal transport.
We had no idea this was going to happen when the article was written of course. It is no laughing matter when somebody dies in an accident but ...
Ello, 'Ello, 'Ello, Who's Engine's Running Here Then?The crazier a law is the more enthusiastic the police will be in enforcing it. Report a murder, robbery or gand fight and the boys in blue will turn up two days later to give out leaflets on victim counselling but go 1mph over the speed limit and they're like mustard. Read about another crazy law for persecuting drivers ...
Stupid Idea Of The Week - Child In The Road IllusionIt is hard to keep up with all the stupid ideas that come out of academic institutions and bureaucratic organisations so many slip past usd unreported. Here is a road safety idea from the traffic engineers of Vancouver however that is so gobsmackingly stuipid we not only had to report it, we had to inaugurate a new Boggart Blog award category to celebrate it.
Government Declares Cyclist Hunting Season OpenThe road safety whiners are at it again. Predicatably their response to news that speed cameras are to be phased out is to start whining about carnage on the roads. The truth is spped does not kill, stupidity kills and more road deaths are caused by the stupidity of pedestrians, cyclists and skateboarders. CAr drivers at least have to pass a test to prove their competence.

Are We Nearly There YetAre we nearly there yet? It is the plaintive cry of every child on a boring journey by car, going on holiday, a day trip ot to visit relatives. Aside from safety on the road and avoiding speed cameras keeping the children happy is the dtivers main concern. No wonder so many rely on Sat Nav. Trouble is with a sat nav system instead of an old fashioned map there is little chance you will ever get there..
Sex In CArs Can Damge Your HealthThey were young, they had nowhere to go that offered a little privacy. What did they do? What we have all done, they had sex in the car. And then everything went wrong.
Segway Into InsanityEven as the case for global warming made by climate change science crumbles, the green get rich quick schemes get nuttier and nuttier. Take the Segway electric scooter being promoted by former MP Lembit Opik. This mode of ecofriendly transport technology is neither green, safe nor practical but it is advertized as all three.

Climate Change Menu
Toyota Prius Schadenfreude
V2G Technology
Climate Change Killed A Guardian Reader
Copenhagen Climate Conference: The Stink Of Shit And Corruption
Copenhagen: The Real Agenda The Only Reason You Need To Hate The Toyota Prius
Obama Buys Into Biofuel
Flat Pack World
Climate Change Science Scam
What The Romans Did For Us
A Stick With Which To Beat Dick
Wind Of Change
Electric Cars - Mini Advnture In Futility New Puma Electric Car Is Not What It Sounds Like Electric Cars - Not Cheap At Half The Price Climate Science Scam Exposed
Has Global Warming Stopped
Blinding Themselves With Science
Fear and panic and fossil fuels"
Too Complex For Science
Novus Ordo Seclorum
Science- Who Can You Believe
Religion Versus Science (The New Religion) Victim of a Witch Hunt
Scientists Now Not So Sure About Safety Of The Large Hardon Provider
Technology Index


If you liked this, please give it a boost

Bookmark and Share

Close Window and return to menu
News Feeds (Go back to top) <
BBC News Feed
[an error occurred while processing this directive]
Guardian Environment
[an error occurred while processing this directive]
INFORMATION & NAVIGATION

navigate

navigate

CATEGORIES

Fiction
Animal related
Art Menu
Belief, Faith and Religion
Celebrity mocking and knocking
Climate and Environment
Comedy, Satire, Humour
Debt Crisis and Money Matters
Driven To Drink
Education Menu
Fear and Panic
Health Menu
History - new perspectives
Humanitas
Jobs Crisis
Living Within The conspiracy
Middle East
Nanny State and The Thought Police
Past Perspectives
Philo & Sophia
Politically Correct Stupidity
Fools & Dreamers
Politics and Economy
Latest News Science and Technology
Sex and sexuality
Sport
Weird and Supernatural
SNACKS (sub topics)
The Ageing population
America
Religion and spirituality
Climate Change
Comedy and Humour
Education is overrated
The environment
Europe
Health
Internet Technology
Jobs and employment
Money and finance
Myths and traditions
Nanny Orwell
People and Places
Science, technology
Society
UK politics
War
World Politics

Our Internet Places
Scribd
Blogster
Ed Butt at Bubblews
Wikinuts
Boggart Blog
Little Nicky Machiavelli
Boggart Network News
Greenteeth Bites
Greenboggart
Boggart Blog Central
Daily Stirrer briefing
Boggart Network News
BOGGART BLOG ARCHIVES
BBselect001
BBselect002
BBselect003
BBselect004
BBselect005
BBselect006
Bubblews Archives
[ 1 ] [ 2 ] [ 3 ] MULTI MEDIA
Spoken Word
Video
Music
Graphic Art

Home
Top Of Page
Back Catalogue
Our Comments
FEATURESThe Daily Stirrer
Boggart Blog Central

Comedy Main
Comic Verse
Cartoons
A Tale Told By An Idiot
General
Fiction
History
Thought
Poetry
Science & Technology
Elsewhere

Boggart Blog Daily
Little Nicky Machiavelli
This writer at Authorsden Gathering
Delicious Greenteeth
Boggart Network News

More From Around The Labyrinth

LATEST POSTS & COMMENTS

Another Montauk Monster? Mystery Creature Washes Up On California Beach.
No matter how much the science tits and worshippers of reason, logic and order may hate it, the world had a habit of regularly throwing up mysteries for which there is no simple, logical explanation, for instance, several carcasses of as strange creature that looks to be a dog / seal mongrel have washed up on American beaches in the last few years. WTF is it? That's a question for the people who look after The X Files.

Establishment Closed Ranks When Police Investigations Into Child Sex Abuse Allegations Closed In
Latest development in the cover up of allegations that politicians, lawyers, and celebrities were involved in systematic child sexual abuse groups, police officers have now claimed a series of covert police investigations into alleged VIP paedophiles were shut down as they went 'to the heart of the Establishment'.

UN says Ebola-hit nations at risk of hunger - Al Jazeera
United Nations officials have warned that up to one million people in West Africa are at risk of food shortgaes as nations affected by the Ebola outbreak find harvests reduced due to border closures, restrictions on and neglect of crops. The deadly virus has now killed 6,800 people and severely disrupted daily life in the worst-hit nations of Liberia, Guinea and Sierra Leone.

Christmas Message: Economic Recovery, Bah, Humbug While western government economists pump out propaganda about how economic recovery is steaming ahead (in the hope of persuading consumers to take on debt ad start spending in the befief that good times are just round the corner, and politicians wallow in schadenfreude because Russia looks to be suffering) our economics experts writes about what is realy happening and why oil pices have collapsed. It isn't pretty.

Google quits Spain in paid content row
] Spain's government have defied Google's vow to shut down its Spanish online news service rather than pay for content, [ ... ] The internet search giant threatened to close Google News Spain in December, 2014, before an intellectual property law enters force in January obliging Internet news scrapers to pay for content automatically lifted from other websites. Spain's culture ministry, said it would go ahead with the new law, Google's response is "a matter for the company".

Another Blow To The US Dollar Reserve Currency Status As Russia Sings Up Turkey, India
The move led by Russian and China to dump the US dollar as global reserve currency continues to gain momentum. Most recent nations to sign bilateral agreements to settle cross border transactions in the currency of the vendor are India and Turkey.

Docors, Scientists Greased by Big Pharma? Told You So.
The Physician Payments Sunshine Act, which was passed by the US Senate with the help of an extensive investigation led by Senator Charles Grassley (R-IA), provisions that doctors who receive payoffs from drug or vaccine companies must disclose this when pushing new therapies or medical procedures from what would otherwise appear to be unbiased intentions. (It happens in Europe too, see links in article)

French Goss Mag Outs Gay Politician, Sparks Privacy Row
Gossip magazine Closer has sparked a privacy row in France after it outed a homosexual senior member of France's right - wing National Front party. Closer published photos of the man with his male partner. Politicians and journalists have reacted angrily to whhat they call a gross breach of privacy.

TTIP Tries To Dump US Frankenfoods On Europe; Left and Right Unite To Back States' Right To Ban Them.
As public awareness increases of the way the secret trade deals that even our elected representatives are not allowed to know the terms of, the Trans Atlantic Trade And Investment Partnership (TTIP) and the Trans Pacofic Partnership will increase American global hegemony ...

A beginners Guide To Thinking For Yourself About Climate Change
Climate change has become a more fanatical and more dangerous religion that fundamentalist Christianity, Islam or Zionism. Its followers are prepared to destroy not just themselves but the entire human race and most life on earth before they will admit there is little substance in their dogmas, which are all based on 'evidence' from idols they call mathematical models, rather than on any real world evidence.

CO2 vs Temperature comparison over 400,000 years shows CO2 and warming are not linked
Scientists who are part of the 'Science Is Settled' mob are quite adamant that there is no room for discussion, that climate change is caused solely by marginally increased levels of the trace atmospheric gas Carbon Dioxide is proved beyond doubt. Unfortunately their 'proof' exists only in mathematical models, studies based on real world evidence constantly disagree

Even The BIS Is Shocked At How Broken Markets Have Become.
If the Bank of International Settlements (BIS) the bank where banks and governments do business is worried about the state of the markets, we are in bigger trouble than anyone is letting on.

Child sex abuse inquiry in crisis as victims walk away
Alleged victims of abuse involved in the historic abuse case currently being investigated by MPs and police have advised Home Secretary Theresa May, that they are ready to withdraw support from the Government's child sex inquiry. Twenty = three individuals, some of whom claim as children they suffered serious and prolonged abuse at the hands on senior Members of Parliament, Senior Civil servants and other high ranking figures in the public sector, sent Mrs May a letter claiming the inquiry is "not fit for purpose".

Obesity pill to ‘replace treadmill’ being developed by Harvard University
A magic pill which burns away excess body fat has been one of the wet dreams of mad scientists for decades. Such a pill is now being developed at Harvard University. Researchers claim it could one ‘replace the treadmill.’ (This is daft as we still need exercise to maintain a healthy heart, muscles and bones.

Everything The Science Whores Told You About Eating Fat Was A Lie.
We have been telling you so for years, but at last the world seems to be cathing up with The Daily Stirrer. Another independent study confirms that the scientists ('A sack of rogues bought and paid for with corporate gods' to paraphrase Burns) have been lying about the health risks of eating saturated fat. It's process vegetable fat, created in laboratories by scientists and other synthesized foods that damage human health.

What Would George Orwell Think Of The Screeching Left's Horror At Plans To Shrink The State. In part one of his classic social commentary, The Road To Wigan Pier, George Orwell wrote of the grinding poverty and appalling living conditions endured by people in industrial areas. The second part, which is more revevant to the 21st Century is a rant against the superiority of the upper class 'Fabian' socialists who have hijacked the Labour movement and whose Paternal Liberalism is in almost all ways more repugnant that the uncaring attitude of the old elite.

What Will It Take to Get You to Swallow GMO and Nanotech Foods?

Are you one of these "new technology rejecters"? Apparently you will be given such a label soon if you don't want GMOs or nanoparticles in your food, just as those who ask can the 1.6% contributed by human activity of the carbon dioxide that makes up 0.025% of the atmosphere really be the sole cause of the changes in our climate which has been constantly changing for millions of years before men first stood erect.

Evolution: Theory, Fact or Fiasco?
Much as I have faith in Charles Darwin's Theory Of Evolution as a feasible explanation of how diverse species originate (The Origin Of The Species) it annoys me when science fans insist "Evolution is not a theory, its a fact." Especially annoying of course is when they cite evolution to explain the origin of life on earth or the development of human intelligence. Even more annoying is their assumption that anyone questioning them is a young Earth creationist. Here are a few thoughts on some of evolution theory's inconsistencies ...

Why Food Sovereignty Should Not Be Handed To GMO Biotech Corporations
Most of the GM produce that is finding its way into the human food chain has been modified to make it resistant to herbicides (weed killer) and pesticides (insect killer) that are deadly to humans - just look at the warnings on a packet of garden weed killer or domestic fly spray if you want proof of that. And remember in bulk food production we are talking about industrial quantities of industrial strength toxins. Scientists on the corporate payroll assure us ...

Are Humans Becoming Extinct
some scientists, Guy McPherson included, down at the Climate Change conference who fear that climate disruption is so serious, with so many self-reinforcing feedback loops already in play, that humans are in the process of causing our own extinction.

Older Posts index