logo

Boggart Blog Central


Electric Cars - A Mini Adventure In Futility


The famous advert for the BMW owned Mini depicts plucky little cars getting into scrapes and escaping by using their speed, engineering quality and a bit of panache. Governments and climate weirdie beardies may push electric cars but somehow we can't see these slow, heavey, short range vehiciles cutting it as objects of desire...

New Electric Car, a Mini adventure or wild adventure (in futility)
by Ian R Thorpe
2008-12-17
CREATIVE COMMONS: Attribute, non commercial, no derivs.
KEYWORDS: car, transport, electric, global_warming, climate_change, energy, green humour, humor

Amid much ballyhoo from tame environmentalists paid by Megacorp Inc. carmakers BMW have unveiled their electric mini. The regular mini, a good car though not a cute and charming as the original 1960s model, is a compact, sporty four seater ideal for trendy young meeja professional couples with a pair of matching children named Ethiopia and Sunflower. It rates well on performance, fuel economy and emissions.

The electric mini is more like a steam iron on wheels. The back seat is gone to accommodate a lithium ion battery the size of a big shed business unit. The battery makes the car 20% heavier than a standard model and, though the makers are coy about this. That extra weight positioned towards the rear of the car must make give it the handling qualities of a drunk on roller skates. both the 1960s Mini and the modern version were famed for their nimble steering and excellent roadholdng so selling something that drives like a supermarket trolley with a wonky wheel is hardly going to enhance the brand.

The big problem with all electric vehicles has always been range. BMW claim they have overcome this, the pre-launch literature says the electric mini will travel a hundred and fifty miles on a full charge. A hundred and fifty miles, WOW! that would get you from Manchester to three quarters of the way to London, from Carlisle to Preston Gubbals, from Liverpool to…erm… twenty miles south of Newcastle. No worries though, the electric mini only takes two hours to charge up on a special high power socket or a mere ten hours on a domestic socket. No problem then, who would not enjoy an opportunity to spend two hours chilling out at Watford Gap services. The kids, who customarily start ask in “Are we nearly there yet?” two miles from home would love it. Travelling on Holiday weekends would take a bit of planning though, can you imagine the queues of cars on the M5 or M6 waiting for their two hours on the high power sockets and not having any alternative but to queue as they are 140 miles from home.

The Governments Green science advisers and the leaders of The Church Of Scienceology cult are having orgasms over this latest electric car that is the first family car to offer reasonable performance and a practical range. Well no, actually the range is lousy and it is not a family car if there is an effing big battery where the back seats should be. As usual they are blinding themselves with science instead of thinking things through. Electric cars to replace the internal combustion engine are nowhere near ready for the market.

Most of us can see through the eyewash hurled at us by Megacorp and MegaGov. If pollution from cars is to be reduced we need some new ideas on local and long distance public transport. Revolutionary ideas, radical ideas, like investing public money for the benefit of the community.

Our dear government have no interest in reducing traffic of course and little in reducing emissions. having hit on the wizard wheezes of charging us per mile for motorway driving and a flat rate congestion charge for city driving they are intent on squeezing every penny they can out of us. London mayor Boris Johnson seems to be the only one who has got his head round the problem so far.

Bring on the Routemasters, Trolley Buses and Trams Boris.

As a footnote it's interesting to note that sales of the G-Wiz, the electric car that looks as if it came out of a cheap Christmas cracker, have dropped by 50%. The G-Wiz driven by the likes of Jonathan Ross and Jade Jagger is one of those contradictory items that has become cool because it is uncool.

Naturally the economic crisis is being blamed but Boggart Blog thinks the real reason is that anyone seen getting out of a G-Wiz is nabbed by the Top Gear Vigilantes and has the word DORK tattooed on their forhead.

28 August 2009 The Only Reason You Will Ever Need To hate The Toyota Prius Everything bad about electric and hybrid cars wrapped up in one model - with a few extras thrown in.

2 Feb 2009. An even nerdier idea is the one dreamed up in America of using electric cars as an alternative power source. Owners charge up the car on loe cost off peak electricity and discharge the stored electricity back into the grid during peak times. And when do you drive your car if it is always either charging or discharging? On top of that, what happens when everybody catches onto the idea and gets one of these cars. Increased overnight usage turns offpeak into peak for electricity demand. The really have not though this one through. Vehicle To Grid: Your Offpeak Power Source One of the technologies Sidi Barack Imbecile Obama is relying on to lead us out of the recession.

Updated 15 April 2009: Have General Motors and Seway launched the P.U.M.A their new personal transprot option as a serious attempt to deliver clean green journeys or are they trying to give us all a laugh in these difficult times?

RELATED POSTS:

Geneva Motor Show: Genius Or Geekery Gone Mad
It's The Car Of The Future - And It Runs On Petrol
How long have those research grant phishing, statistics rigging, peer review fiddling sciencyheads been telling us the car of the future would be powered by electricity? This was despite their best efforts after Squillions of Dollars, Pounds, Euros and Yen only having produced a hybrid that required both an electric motor and an internal combusion unit to ...

How Our Creature Comforts Are Baking The World
As the arguments rage on between the Climate Science Wankers lobby and the sceptis, realists and out and out deniers we observe that still nobody who gets media coverage, nobody who is talking sense about climate chaos, carbon based fuels, deforestation or over population is really being heard. Quite simply there are too many of us and we want too much. Who needs science or politics to understand that?

Segway Company Owner Dies After Riding His Segway Off A CliffNot long ago in our humour and satire title, Boggart Blog, we did a slaughter piece on former Liberal Democrat MP Lembit Opik promoting the ludicrous Segway electric scooter as a serious method of personal transport.
We had no idea this was going to happen when the article was written of course. It is no laughing matter when somebody dies in an accident but ...
Ello, 'Ello, 'Ello, Who's Engine's Running Here Then?The crazier a law is the more enthusiastic the police will be in enforcing it. Report a murder, robbery or gand fight and the boys in blue will turn up two days later to give out leaflets on victim counselling but go 1mph over the speed limit and they're like mustard. Read about another crazy law for persecuting drivers ...
Stupid Idea Of The Week - Child In The Road IllusionIt is hard to keep up with all the stupid ideas that come out of academic institutions and bureaucratic organisations so many slip past usd unreported. Here is a road safety idea from the traffic engineers of Vancouver however that is so gobsmackingly stuipid we not only had to report it, we had to inaugurate a new Boggart Blog award category to celebrate it.
Government Declares Cyclist Hunting Season OpenThe road safety whiners are at it again. Predicatably their response to news that speed cameras are to be phased out is to start whining about carnage on the roads. The truth is spped does not kill, stupidity kills and more road deaths are caused by the stupidity of pedestrians, cyclists and skateboarders. CAr drivers at least have to pass a test to prove their competence.

Are We Nearly There YetAre we nearly there yet? It is the plaintive cry of every child on a boring journey by car, going on holiday, a day trip ot to visit relatives. Aside from safety on the road and avoiding speed cameras keeping the children happy is the dtivers main concern. No wonder so many rely on Sat Nav. Trouble is with a sat nav system instead of an old fashioned map there is little chance you will ever get there..
Sex In CArs Can Damge Your HealthThey were young, they had nowhere to go that offered a little privacy. What did they do? What we have all done, they had sex in the car. And then everything went wrong.
Segway Into InsanityEven as the case for global warming made by climate change science crumbles, the green get rich quick schemes get nuttier and nuttier. Take the Segway electric scooter being promoted by former MP Lembit Opik. This mode of ecofriendly transport technology is neither green, safe nor practical but it is advertized as all three.

Climate Change Menu
Toyota Prius Schadenfreude
V2G Technology
Climate Change Killed A Guardian Reader
Copenhagen Climate Conference: The Stink Of Shit And Corruption
Copenhagen: The Real Agenda The Only Reason You Need To Hate The Toyota Prius
Obama Buys Into Biofuel
Flat Pack World
Climate Change Science Scam
What The Romans Did For Us
A Stick With Which To Beat Dick
Wind Of Change
Electric Cars - Mini Advnture In Futility New Puma Electric Car Is Not What It Sounds Like Electric Cars - Not Cheap At Half The Price Climate Science Scam Exposed
Has Global Warming Stopped
Blinding Themselves With Science
Fear and panic and fossil fuels"
Too Complex For Science
Novus Ordo Seclorum
Science- Who Can You Believe
Religion Versus Science (The New Religion) Victim of a Witch Hunt
Scientists Now Not So Sure About Safety Of The Large Hardon Provider
Technology Index


If you liked this, please give it a boost

Bookmark and Share

Close Window and return to menu
News Feeds (Go back to top) <
BBC News Feed
[an error occurred while processing this directive]
Guardian Environment
[an error occurred while processing this directive]
INFORMATION & NAVIGATION

navigate

navigate

CATEGORIES

Fiction
Animal related
Art Menu
Belief, Faith and Religion
Celebrity mocking and knocking
Climate and Environment
Comedy, Satire, Humour
Debt Crisis and Money Matters
Driven To Drink
Education Menu
Fear and Panic
Health Menu
History - new perspectives
Humanitas
Jobs Crisis
Living Within The conspiracy
Middle East
Nanny State and The Thought Police
Past Perspectives
Philo & Sophia
Politically Correct Stupidity
Fools & Dreamers
Politics and Economy
Science and Technology
Sex and sexuality
Sport
Weird and Supernatural
SNACKS (sub topics)
The Ageing population
America
Religion and spirituality
Climate Change
Comedy and Humour
Education is overrated
The environment
Europe
Health
Internet Technology
Jobs and employment
Money and finance
Myths and traditions
Nanny Orwell
People and Places
Science, technology
Society
UK politics
War
World Politics

Our Internet Places
Scribd
Ed Butt at Bubblews Boggart Blog
Little Nicky Machiavelli
Boggart Network News
Greenteeth Bites
Greenboggart
Boggart Blog Central
Daily Stirrer briefing
Boggart Network News
BOGGART BLOG ARCHIVES
BBselect001
BBselect002
BBselect003
BBselect004
BBselect005
BBselect006
MULTI MEDIA
Spoken Word
Video
Music
Graphic Art

Home
Top Of Page
Back Catalogue
Our Comments
FEATURESThe Daily Stirrer
Boggart Blog Central

Comedy Main
Comic Verse
Cartoons
A Tale Told By An Idiot
General
Fiction
History
Thought
Poetry
Science & Technology
Elsewhere

Boggart Blog Daily
Little Nicky Machiavelli
This writer at Authorsden Gathering
Delicious Greenteeth
Boggart Network News

More From Around The Labyrinth

LATEST POSTS & COMMENTS

The Banksters Bullion Heist: How The Gold Market Was Hi Jacked And The Banksters Robbed Us All
The rapid drop in gold prices recently has been said by some to be a sign a new economic crisis is imminent while others say it is a sign economic confidence is returning and the slump is over. It is neither, but rather a demostration of how banksters rig the markets in gold, commodities, currency ans shares, and rob us all.

Fears Of Violence And Unrest As English Town Prepares For Bilberberg Rally
The shadowy and secretive Bilderberg Group will hold their annual meeting at The Grove country house hotel complex just outside watford, England in early June. As usual this gathering of the super - rich and super - powerful will be accompanied by levels of secrecy and security never seen elsewhere.

Global Warming Theory Debunked By NASA
NASA, America's National Aeoronautical And Space Agency was in the forefront of the Anthropogenic Global Warming scare. Do you remember 'The Science Is Settled'? Well it wasn't, a trickle of thoise really awkward bastards who insist on thinking for themselves became a torrent and now even NASA are admitting it was all a hoax based on dodgy statistics and fraudulent physics.

What Is All That Aid Money Really being Used For
The marketing hype accompanying wars becomes progressively more boring and predictable. Whenever a "coalition of the willing" of western governments and their rather unsavoury regional allies deploys military intervention, it is certain the European Union will host or participate in a “donors’ conference”. These grotesque charades have become a feature Afghan campaign since 2001. When Gaza was bombed for three weeks in late 2008 and early 2009, the EU rushed...

Angelina's Tits: Was the world too quick to celebrate the unnecessary double mastectomy
Was the world right to make Angelina Jolie a hero for having her healthy breasts removed? Now the commercial motivations behind the move are coming to light, it seems Ms. Jolie's double mastectomy on the strength of manmmograms that revealed patented genes that contribute little to cancer risk but much to corporate profits could have been a career destroying misjudgement.

Prescription of dangerous antidepressants that cause sudden death is rapidly expanding
The criminality of Big Pharma goes on and on. Stop them committing one crime, they start another ten scams, frauds or deceptions to make up for the lost profits.

'The list of antidepressants that can cause sudden death is growing exponentially, with citalopram - under the brand names ...

Two stories that show how the banksters plant to control your cash and how you spend it
I have written many articles over the years about how machines and technology are talking over our lives. Slaves To The Machine ( www.scribd.com/doc/117509296/Slaves-To-The-Machine ) is a keynote article for all my websites and blogs and new stories bringing more evidence to support the predictions I make in it are emerging constantly. Two new ones appeared this week ...

He Who Controls The Food Controls The Universe.
A reference to Frank Herbert's Dune in the title, but this is not a fan piece. While the US Administration bends, lifts its shirt and invites fascist biotech corporate to fuck the American public up the arse, it's good to know some people are stll fighting to keep some democratic control of what goes into our bodies.

All Your Gene Are Belong Us - You Don't Own Your Body, Obama's Government Does Barack Hussein Obama is rapidly becoming known as the sellout President, he has welched on every electoral promise and bent over backwards (and forwards we hear) to accomodate his corporate paymasters. Well some of us did try to warn you he was The New World Order's houseboy. Now he is even giving the corporations rights over citizens bodies.

He Who Controls The Food Controls The Universe Remember that famous line from Frank Herbert's science fiction novels in the Dune series, "He who controls the spice controls the Universe"? Just substitute the word food for spice and the line is starting to look eerily prophetic. Greenpeace the environmental protection group claimed a rare victory against the march of corporate fascism when

Washington Signals Fears Over Dollar
Over the past month there have been some bizarre movements in financial marketsthat can only be explained as a conspiracy to protect the US dollar from the inevitable consequences Federal Reserve’s policy of Quantitative Easing (QE) which has been going on since the financial crisis began in 2008.

Economic Insanity: We Spend $11 million to create each green job
Cast you mind back to the last round of elections where you live. Do you remember al those politicians promising to make the economy greener, to create...

Lies, Damned Lies and ... umm... Those Other Things ... oh yeah, statistics.
Were I able to muster the kind of blind faith Mr. Chivers and other "science" nerds place in statistics I would invest it in one of the traditional religions and at least be able to convince myself there is a chance of being resurrected into the life eternal. As it is, unlike Science fans who proclaim their atheism but have a zealots faith in science, I am a true sceptic...

Children Given Chemical Cosh For Fictitious Disease

Critics of the Ritalin disaster which saw many lived ruined by the prescription of 'bonkers' drug Ritalin for "ADHD" are now getting support from an unexpected quarter. The German weekly Der Spiegel quoted in its cover story on 2 February 2012 the US American psychiatrist Leon Eisenberg, born in 1922 as the son of Russian Jewish immigrants, who was the “scientific father of ADHD” and who said at...

Looming Health Crisis: Wireless Technology and the Toxification of America
As a multitude of hazardous wireless technologies are deployed in homes, schools and workplaces, government officials and industry representatives continue to insist on their safety despite growing evidence to the contrary. A major health crisis looms that is only hastened through the extensive deployment of “smart grid” technology.

Scientific Dictatorship: The Total Surveillance Society Is Coming Soon.
Just because you're paranoid, it does not mean they are not watching you. The totall surveillance society is spreading as fast as your freedom is disappearing. CCTV, Drones, Google data snooping, giant databases, everything you do is monitored and logged.

War On Terror, War On Drugs, Jihad Against Junk Food
why have the elite taken against 'junk food' a concept for which their is no accepted definition. Well there has been talk of a tax on fatty foods but that went quiet when it was pointed out pate de fois gras, Chateaubriand, Steak Diane and other gourmet treats were very fatty.

Monsanto Owns The Life Reproducing Process Says U S CourtPoliticised Judges show bias in finding for the Corporate giant and helping advance its agenda to control the food supply. This is the corporation that wants to make sure nobody ever eats ant product, plant or animal, that is not genertically modified. And the shits who have hijecked our societies, the politicians, lawyers, bankers and scientists are happy to sell us out to these fascists and help create their Brave New World.

Eat Insectes, good food is only for elitists says United Nations

Very survivalist, very Soylent Green. The scientific advisers of that hotbed of elitism where the politicians, international lawyers, bankers and top academics, the U N (United Nazis) has been thinking about the incipient food crisis. And they say the food shopping list of all us ordinary punters in future will include Bread, Milk, Grubs, Beetles, Maggots, Locusts, Worms and Spiders.

The Jihad On Junk Food
You must have grown tired of all the wars governments are fighting. Not shooting wars (although the war on terror is war on an abstract concept) but war on smoking, war on drugs, war on crime, war on anti - social behaviour and the one they will never win, the war on alcohol. Government's must have grown tired too, or maybe