New Electric Car, a Mini adventure or wild adventure (in futility)
by Ian R Thorpe
CREATIVE COMMONS: Attribute, non commercial, no derivs.
KEYWORDS: car, transport, electric, global_warming, climate_change, energy, green humour, humor
Amid much ballyhoo from tame environmentalists paid by Megacorp Inc. carmakers BMW have unveiled their electric mini.
The regular mini, a good car though not a cute and charming as the original 1960s model, is a compact, sporty four seater ideal for trendy young meeja professional couples with a pair of matching children named Ethiopia and Sunflower. It rates well on performance, fuel economy and emissions.
The electric mini is more like a steam iron on wheels. The back seat is gone to accommodate a lithium ion battery the size of a big shed business unit. The battery makes the car 20% heavier than a standard model and, though the makers are coy about this. That extra weight positioned towards the rear of the car must make give it the handling qualities of a drunk on roller skates. both the 1960s Mini and the modern version were famed for their nimble steering and excellent roadholdng so selling something that drives like a supermarket trolley with a wonky wheel is hardly going to enhance the brand.
The big problem with all electric vehicles has always been range. BMW claim they have overcome this, the pre-launch literature says the electric mini will travel a hundred and fifty miles on a full charge. A hundred and fifty miles, WOW! that would get you from Manchester to three quarters of the way to London, from Carlisle to Preston Gubbals, from Liverpool to…erm… twenty miles south of Newcastle. No worries though, the electric mini only takes two hours to charge up on a special high power socket or a mere ten hours on a domestic socket. No problem then, who would not enjoy an opportunity to spend two hours chilling out at Watford Gap services. The kids, who customarily start ask in “Are we nearly there yet?” two miles from home would love it. Travelling on Holiday weekends would take a bit of planning though, can you imagine the queues of cars on the M5 or M6 waiting for their two hours on the high power sockets and not having any alternative but to queue as they are 140 miles from home.
The Governments Green science advisers and the leaders of The Church Of Scienceology cult are having orgasms over this latest electric car that is the first family car to offer reasonable performance and a practical range. Well no, actually the range is lousy and it is not a family car if there is an effing big battery where the back seats should be. As usual they are blinding themselves with science instead of thinking things through. Electric cars to replace the internal combustion engine are nowhere near ready for the market.
Most of us can see through the eyewash hurled at us by Megacorp and MegaGov. If pollution from cars is to be reduced we need some new ideas on local and long distance public transport. Revolutionary ideas, radical ideas, like investing public money for the benefit of the community.
Our dear government have no interest in reducing traffic of course and little in reducing emissions. having hit on the wizard wheezes of charging us per mile for motorway driving and a flat rate congestion charge for city driving they are intent on squeezing every penny they can out of us. London mayor Boris Johnson seems to be the only one who has got his head round the problem so far.
Bring on the Routemasters, Trolley Buses and Trams Boris.
As a footnote it's interesting to note that sales of the G-Wiz, the electric car that looks as if it came out of a cheap Christmas cracker, have dropped by 50%. The G-Wiz driven by the likes of Jonathan Ross and Jade Jagger is one of those contradictory items that has become cool because it is uncool.
Naturally the economic crisis is being blamed but Boggart Blog thinks the real reason is that anyone seen getting out of a G-Wiz is nabbed by the Top Gear Vigilantes and has the word DORK tattooed on their forhead.
28 August 2009
The Only Reason You Will Ever Need To hate The Toyota Prius Everything bad about electric and hybrid cars wrapped up in one model - with a few extras thrown in.
2 Feb 2009. An even nerdier idea is the one dreamed up in America of using electric cars as an alternative power source. Owners charge up the car on loe cost off peak electricity and discharge the stored electricity back into the grid during peak times. And when do you drive your car if it is always either charging or discharging? On top of that, what happens when everybody catches onto the idea and gets one of these cars. Increased overnight usage turns offpeak into peak for electricity demand.
The really have not though this one through. Vehicle To Grid: Your Offpeak Power Source One of the technologies Sidi Barack Imbecile Obama is relying on to lead us out of the recession.
Updated 15 April 2009: Have General Motors and Seway launched the P.U.M.A their new personal transprot option as a serious attempt to deliver clean green journeys or are they trying to give us all a laugh in these difficult times?
Google Car Driverless Because No Sane Person Would Be Seen Dead In One
Geneva Motor Show: Genius Or Geekery Gone Mad
It's The Car Of The Future - And It Runs On Petrol
A few years ago Google boss Eric Schmidt said the company's aim was to get as close to creepy as they could without crossing the line. Well they had crossed the line long before he said that. The latest Google wirdness is the much hyped driverless car. It looks as if it was designed by a five year old. On the other hand it might be the ideal car for paedophiles who want to go cruising for jailbait.
How long have those research grant phishing, statistics rigging, peer review fiddling sciencyheads been telling us the car of the future would be powered by electricity? This was despite their best efforts after Squillions of Dollars, Pounds, Euros and Yen only having produced a hybrid that required both an electric motor and an internal combusion unit to ...
How Our Creature Comforts Are Baking The World
As the arguments rage on between the Climate Science Wankers lobby and the sceptis, realists and out and out deniers we observe that still nobody who gets media coverage, nobody who is talking sense about climate chaos, carbon based fuels, deforestation or over population is really being heard. Quite simply there are too many of us and we want too much. Who needs science or politics to understand that?
Segway Company Owner Dies After Riding His Segway Off A CliffNot long ago in our humour and satire title, Boggart Blog, we did a slaughter piece on former Liberal Democrat MP Lembit Opik promoting the ludicrous Segway electric scooter as a serious method of personal transport.
We had no idea this was going to happen when the article was written of course. It is no laughing matter when somebody dies in an accident but ...
Ello, 'Ello, 'Ello, Who's Engine's Running Here Then?The crazier a law is the more enthusiastic the police will be in enforcing it. Report a murder, robbery or gand fight and the boys in blue will turn up two days later to give out leaflets on victim counselling but go 1mph over the speed limit and they're like mustard. Read about another crazy law for persecuting drivers ...
Stupid Idea Of The Week - Child In The Road IllusionIt is hard to keep up with all the stupid ideas that come out of academic institutions and bureaucratic organisations so many slip past usd unreported. Here is a road safety idea from the traffic engineers of Vancouver however that is so gobsmackingly stuipid we not only had to report it, we had to inaugurate a new Boggart Blog award category to celebrate it.
Government Declares Cyclist Hunting Season OpenThe road safety whiners are at it again. Predicatably their response to news that speed cameras are to be phased out is to start whining about carnage on the roads. The truth is spped does not kill, stupidity kills and more road deaths are caused by the stupidity of pedestrians, cyclists and skateboarders. CAr drivers at least have to pass a test to prove their competence.
Are We Nearly There YetAre we nearly there yet? It is the plaintive cry of every child on a boring journey by car, going on holiday, a day trip ot to visit relatives. Aside from safety on the road and avoiding speed cameras keeping the children happy is the dtivers main concern. No wonder so many rely on Sat Nav. Trouble is with a sat nav system instead of an old fashioned map there is little chance you will ever get there..
Sex In CArs Can Damge Your HealthThey were young, they had nowhere to go that offered a little privacy. What did they do? What we have all done, they had sex in the car. And then everything went wrong.
Segway Into InsanityEven as the case for global warming made by climate change science crumbles, the green get rich quick schemes get nuttier and nuttier. Take the Segway electric scooter being promoted by former MP Lembit Opik. This mode of ecofriendly transport technology is neither green, safe nor practical but it is advertized as all three.
Climate Change Menu
Toyota Prius Schadenfreude
Climate Change Killed A Guardian Reader
Copenhagen Climate Conference: The Stink Of Shit And Corruption
Copenhagen: The Real Agenda
The Only Reason You Need To Hate The Toyota Prius
Obama Buys Into Biofuel
Flat Pack World
Climate Change Science Scam
What The Romans Did For Us
A Stick With Which To Beat Dick
Wind Of Change
Electric Cars - Mini Advnture In Futility
New Puma Electric Car Is Not What It Sounds Like
Electric Cars - Not Cheap At Half The Price
Climate Science Scam Exposed
Has Global Warming Stopped
Blinding Themselves With Science
Fear and panic and fossil fuels"
Too Complex For Science
Novus Ordo Seclorum
Science- Who Can You Believe
Religion Versus Science (The New Religion)
Victim of a Witch Hunt
Scientists Now Not So Sure About Safety Of The Large Hardon Provider
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