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Segway Into Insanity
Even as the case for global warming made by climate change science crumbles, the green get rich quick schemes get nuttier and nuttier. This new mode of ecofriendly transport technology is neither green, safe nor practical but it is advertized as all three.

Former Lib Dem MP Lembit Segways Into Insanity.
by ian R Thorpe
2010-07-15
CREATIVE COMMONS: Attribute, non commercial, no derivs.
KEYWORDS: green, eco-friendly, transport, segway, technology, electricity, carbon, footprint, Lib Dem, Lembit, scooter, car, pederstrian, satire, humour, humor

Since losing his seat at the election former Lib Dem MP Lembit Opik has been looking for ways to regain his position on the periphery of the public stage. Having failed in his attempt to launch himself as a stand up comedian Lembit is now trying to get himself arrested for riding one of those ridiculous Segway scooters in the streets of London. For anyone not familiar with the sheer whackiness of this vehicle (?) here's a picture of Lembit on his machine followed by his puff piece informed and balanced article on the virtues of the "eco-friendly" Segway. You get the feeling that if a scientist was asked to design an F1 car this is what they would come up with. "I've found it nothing less than preposterous that our Department for Transport seems unable to formally permit the use of these eco-friendly and mobility enhancing machines on Britain's highways and byways," Lembit says with regard to the reluctance of local councils to approve the Segway for use on pedestrian pavements.

Sounds like sales bullshit to us but you must make up your own minds.

Well if as Lembit says it is a form of transport then transport, cars, vans, lorries, buses, motor bikes and bikes all have to run on the road not the pavement. We know chavs ride their bikes on the pavement but hope that former Lib Dem MPs are not chavs. And in order that vehicles can to run on the road the driver has to be in full control at all times. Look at Lembit on his Segway. Where's the steering wheel. OK there are handlebars sort of but the two wheels being mounted on a single axle cannot be steered. So how can anyone control them? No doubt the scientists who designed it would say the science stands. Unfortunately the Segway doesn't and neither does the person riding the wrong way round electric scooter. To have chavs and nutty ex-MPs careering about the pavements on these things would terrify the more nervous pedestrian while robust types might be tempted to try a stiff arm tackle on the rider. I once saw a robust pedestrian who looked as if he might have played rugby in his youth stiff arm a pavement skateboarder. Hilarious.

Riding a bicycle on the pedestrian walkways has always been illegal and these things are more dangeous than any bicycle because at least a bike rider can control where they are going.

Clearly then for the safety of little old ladies and pregnant women the Segway cannot be approved for use in pedestrian areas and the sight of a Segway rider wobbling and weaving along a carriageway would be just too tempting for White Van Man.

And then there is the safety of people fool enough to ride Segways. The makers claim they are perfectly safe but do you remember what happened when George W Bush tried to ride one? Well OK he was a special case but can you imagine the outcry from the Politically Correct Thought Police if we try to OK the Segway but exclude special needs people from riding them?

But it is not only those with special needs who are at risk from The Segway. Have a look at these Segway disasters.

Sorry Lembit, we don't know how much Segway are paying you to promote their product but I hope you are not on commission because you ain't going to sell many. Even the USP you mentioned, that they are eco friendly, is wrong. They run on electricity which from memory comprises about 2% from green sources, 30% from nuclear generators and the rest from fossil fuels. And they are made out of plastic and metal so there is a carbon footprint there which cannot be offset against the carbon footprint of growing your own feet, Segway drivers still have to grow a pair of feet because they need to stand up on their electric pogo stick transport technology.

No, the Segway should be banned, they are more useless than the Sinclair C5. Anyone who thinks of buying this oddball machine whose designers failed to recognise the advantages of front - back wheel alignment for two wheeled vehicles, and fails to notice what a nerd they will look when riding it should be banged up in a secure unit for the safety of themselves and others and publicity junkie ex - MPs should be offered rehabilitation.

Sadly none of that will happen. The best thing about the Segway is the price, 5000. The only people daft enough to want one and with that kind of money to spare are likely to be celebrity arseholes looking for a photo opportunity. And as we need a few less of them the Segway's record for road and pavement safety could be an advantage.

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Updated : Thu, 02 Feb 2012 13:52:39 +0000

Vexed is Back in Production

How about a bit of good news for the middle of the week? Yes? OK then - detective comedy Vexed has begun shooting the next series with stars Toby Stephens (Jane Eyre, Robin Hood, Cambridge Spies) playing D.I. Jack Armstrong, and Miranda Raison (Spooks, Merlin, Married Single Other) playing new character D.I. Georgina Dixon.

The show is being filmed in Dublin and will air six episodes later this year on BBC Two. This series is definitely one to watch with creator Howard Overman (Misfits) at the helm & episodes written by Chris Bucknall, James Wood, Steve Coombes and Harry & Jack Williams.

So, what's going on in series two I hear you ask? Well, D.I. Jack Armstrong has a new partner in the shape of D.I. Georgina Dixon. Armstrong is charming, disorganised and prone to laziness so it comes as no surprise that sparks fly when he's partnered with the ambitious and highly efficient Dixon. Jack's best friend, café-owner and ex-cop Tony (Roger Griffiths) and colleague Naz (Ronny Jhutti) complete the crime solving team. Episode one sees the duo tackle the murder of a cocky car salesman, but things are not quite as they seem.

Chris Sussman, Executive Producer for the BBC, said: 'We're very much looking forward to the return of Vexed. The second series promises to be just as much fun as the first, and with Miranda Raison joining Toby Stephens as new partner D.I. Dixon, we're hoping it's going to be all guns blazing.'

Jill Green, Executive Producer, Eleventh Hour Films added "In a recession we need shows that make us laugh, and that's where Vexed fits in - a perfectly distinctive 'yin yang' take on modern day life."

If you just can't wait for the next series to air, here's a clip from the last episode of series one:

In order to see this content you need to have both Javascript enabled and Flash installed. Visit BBC Webwise for full instructions. If you're reading via RSS, you'll need to visit the blog to access this content.


Publ.Date : Wed, 18 Jan 2012 12:00:00 +0000

Mongrels live chat: Marion

Fresh off the back of appearing on Scott Mills' Radio 1 Show this afternoon, Marion from Mongrels will be joining us for a live chat after the show at 11pm!

 

 

Marion will be here to answer your questions, so if there's anything you want to know from a homeless tomcat, then be sure to join us on tonight at 11pm.

Mongrels is on BBC Three every Monday at 10.30pm.

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Publ.Date : Mon, 28 Nov 2011 11:00:13 +0000

A Night of Comedy for Children in Need

Roll up!  Roll up!  Roll up!


On Monday 14th November, the BBC Radio Theatre at Broadcasting House will host a spectacular night of comedy with all proceeds going to Children in Need.  A whole host of top comedy performers have offered up their services to the charity, so please come along to West London and join in the fun - all in the name of a great cause:

On the night you'll be treated to Alex Horne and the fantastic Horne Section as house band ("Fresh, original and blissfully funny" - Time Out), who will be playing lots of games with both the audience and the performers.

They will be joined by the incomparable Miles Jupp (as seen in Rev, The Thick of It and soon to be heard in his own Radio 4 sitcom, In And Out Of The Kitchen) and Josh Widdicombe (Stand Up For The Week, 8 Out Of 10 Cats).

Also tearing up Broadcasting House:

Doc Brown ("Mining a rich seam of hip-hop comedy" - The Guardian; Check out his BBC Comedy clips.

Jason Cook ("Wonderfully life-affirming, a total and utter joy" - Time Out)

Angela Barnes (Winner of Radio 2's New Comedy Award)

2 Episodes of Mash (as heard in their own show on Radio 2, whilst Joe Wilkinson can currently be seen in Him and Her)

Gareth Richards (co-host of Frank Skinner's radio show and Edinburgh Comedy Award Best Newcomer nominee)

Joe Lycett (Star of BBC One's Epic Win)

Peter Serafinowicz (Star of BBC2's aptly named The Peter Serafinowicz Show)

Nick Helm (Best Joke Winner at this year's Edinburgh Fringe)

For more info and to buy tickets visit A Night of Spectacular Comedy.

100% of the ticket price will go to the BBC Children in Need Appeal

 (Registered charity England & Wales no. 802052 and Scotland no. SC039557)

Please note:  This event is now being held at BBC Broadcasting House and not the Shepherds Bush Empire.  Ticketweb will inform all those who have already bought tickets.


Publ.Date : Fri, 04 Nov 2011 12:38:00 +0000

Blandings is coming!

The celebrated stories of PG Wodehouse will be coming to life on BBC One as Timothy Spall and Jennifer Saunders star in Blandings, a new comedy series written by Guy Andrews and based on Wodehouse's work.

PG Wodehouse is hailed as one of the greatest comic writers in the English Language, and Controller of BBC One, Danny Cohen is very excited about bringing the tales to a new generation of TV viewers.

Describing the series Guy Andrews said: "Blandings Castle is dysfunction junction, the home of a chaotic family struggling to keep itself in order. Clarence Emsworth, ninth earl and master of Blandings Castle, yearns with all his soul to be left in peace; preferably in the company of his beloved pig, The Empress. But he never is. There is always someone who wants him to do something. Presiding over the blitzkrieg on his equilibrium is the baleful figure of his sister Connie, with whom he shares the house; at her shoulder is Clarence's brainless younger son Freddie and a panoply of friends, enemies, servants, spongers, private detectives, bookies and confidence tricksters.

"Only Beach, his loyal and long-suffering butler, provides consolation. Storm-battered Clarence, somehow never vanquished, occasionally makes everything right through an inspired or accidental intervention.

"For any writer, it is the rarest privilege imaginable to have Wodehouse legitimately available as source material. Instead of just stealing from him as we usually do.'

The six self-contained episodes will be set 1929, and will be filmed on location in Northern Ireland with the support of Northern Ireland Screen. Timothy Spall will play the amiable and befuddled Lord Emsworth (Clarence to his friends), with Jennifer Saunders as his indomitable sister Connie.

The series will be produced by Spencer Campbell (Cold Feet, Mad Dogs) and directed by Paul Seed (BAFTA winning Just William). The show is a co-production with Mammoth Screen and the BBC.


Publ.Date : Thu, 02 Feb 2012 10:50:00 +0000

Jesting About - The Sequel

Festive greetings one and all!

We interrupt our comedy programming to bring you this message from the folks at Jesting About 2:

We’ve been really impressed with the responses we’ve had since launching our comedy initiative last month, with over 600 scripts and sketches sent in! Good luck to everyone who’s submitted their funny ideas.

Successful applicants will be notified by Friday 9 December. If you’ve not heard from us by then, we’re afraid you’ve been unsuccessful this time and due to the large volume of applications, we won’t be able to give individual feedback. 

In the meantime, take a look at what some of last year’s participants thought on the BBC Writersroom Blog and check out Alex Collier’s animation Vic Reeves' Windiest Night Out, produced and commissioned as a result of last year’s Jesting About.

 

View the full blog post to access video content. In order to see this content you need to have both Javascript enabled and Flash installed. Visit BBC Webwise for full instructions

 


Publ.Date : Wed, 07 Dec 2011 15:46:00 +0000

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Cannabis users double crash risk
Drivers who use cannabis before driving double their chances of causing a collision, research suggests.
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Updated : Fri, 10 Feb 2012 09:43:42 GMT

IVF clinics get twin birth target
IVF clinics have been told that no more than 10% of births should be twins or triplets by regulators.
Publ.Date : Thu, 09 Feb 2012 17:16:17 GMT

US 'sobriety' tests for Londoners
Problem drinkers in London are to be given American-style sobriety tests aimed at keeping them away from alcohol.
Publ.Date : Fri, 10 Feb 2012 03:03:33 GMT

Cannabis users double crash risk
Drivers who use cannabis before driving double their chances of causing a collision, research suggests.
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How we can help children improve their health
'The young should play a role in designing healthcare'
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Not Qualified To Press A Button
Janice Woodward spent 75 minutes trapped with her granddaughter in a lift at her local ASDA store at Portland, Dorset, after health and safety rules stopped staff pushing a button to rescue them according to ...

Drivers Cool About Electric Cars
Have you purchased your new, clean, green, politically correct, all electric car yet? No? I thought not. Neither have I. It is not so much that I hate the enviroment or that I do not want to support the fabulous clean, green, sustainable job creating indistries fabulous, clean, green Dave has promised us will ...

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COMMENTS AND RECOMMENDED REA.DING AROUND THE WEB

In this section we do not necessarily support the views expressed in linked articles but try to give a coss section of interesting and well written articles that we think are likely to stir things up a bit.

COMMENT:
(A random and ecletic mix of what we thought was worth reading recently)

One Decent Jobs Report Does Not Make A Recovery
There are two reasons why President Obama rushed to the microphone on Friday shortly after the governments Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS) released relatively good news (by recent standards) that the unemployment rate dropped to 8.3% in January, while the economy added 243,000 seasonally adjusted jobs. ...

Let's Learn From Libya Before We Get Involved In Syria
If we are not careful we are soon going to find ourselves getting into the same mess over Syria as we did in Libya. This time last year the clamour for a military intervention in Libya was gaining ground as forces loyal to Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi threatened to overrun the eastern city of Benghazi ...

India Disses UK Aid: 'More Importasnt To Donors Than Recipients'.
Congratulations to Rahul Bedi for putting into words what we all half-suspected: India neither needs nor wants UK aid. Such grants are outdated and patronising, he says, and encourage corruption. Indeed, Indians have become so contemptuous of Britains contribution that they accept it merely to avoid causing the embarrassment.

London Atheist And Secularist Societies Under Attack From Islamists
I know on occasions in the past I've asked you, dear readers and fellow bloggers to share something widely that needed wider exposure. Well this situation desperately requires that wider exposure and all the help we can provide, especially as the mass media are notably silent on the issue - very likely because of a self-censoring trend itself inspired by fear of what has befallen ...

Unemployment at 8.3% Still Leaves A Vast And Destructive Jobs Deficit Robert Reich, The Guardian
The most significant aspect of January's jobs report is political. The fact that America's labor market continues to improve is good news for the White House. But as a practical matter, the improvement is less significant for the American workforce.
President Obama's only chance for rebutting Republican claims that he's responsible for a bad economy is to point to a positive trend. Voters respond to economic trends as much as ...

Much Media Ado About Nothing What connects seemingly disparate works such as The Silence of the Lambs, Cape Fear, Mad Men, and Seinfeld? It is the philosophy of nihilism, first popularized by Friedrich Nietzsche in the late 19th century. But in the last few decades, how did it become the dominant worldview of Hollywood? Dawn Of The Ice Age Signals The End Of The Global Warming Scam Back then, the media and activists trumpeted the arrival of a new ice age, with the specter of ice sheets and glaciers covering half the northern hemisphere, and brutal winters in the remaining ice-free zones. The fact that the media and popular culture and academia have veered from one panic-inducing disaster scenario to another one which completely contradicts the first one is funny enough in its own right. But reading The Weather Conspiracy: The Coming of the New Ice Age opened my eyes to an even more significant aspect ...

Hundreds of Independent Bookshops Face Closure
Hundreds of independent bookshops could be forced to close unless local authorities do more to support them, a leading retail group has warned. The Booksellers Association (BA), which represents 3,500 independent bookshops across the UK, has written to almost 400 council chiefs urging them to do more to support their local high streets or risk ...

Solar Panels Subsidy Was The Most Ridiculous Green Scheme Deramed Up
A plan to subsidise solar panels on homes was one of the most ridiculous schemes ever dreamed up, a Government minister has said.
Lord Marland, an Energy minister, hit out at the cost of so-called feed-in tariffs, which the Government has axed as part of the cuts programme. Last week Court of Appeal ruled that the sudden axing of the tariffs ...

Goodbye Great Britain
Recently, there have been two powerful challenges to the conventional wisdom about the United States. First, Robert Kagan published a lengthy essay in The New Republic, arguing that predictions of America's decline as a global power are woefully premature. .Is it possible, I found myself wondering, to do something similar for Britain? Robert Colvile has a go in this Daily Telegraph article ...

Our rising debt levels are becoming unsustainable soon we may be talking about wealth confiscation (By Daniel Knowles, Daily Telegraph)
Debt, debt, debt; were drowning in it. This morning, the Office for National Statistics published the latest estimates of public sector borrowing. Though borrowing is falling faster than anticipated, thanks to the fact that spending cuts are finally beginning to kick in, the national debt has risen to 64.2 per cent of GDP. More significantly,

The Obama administration knifes Britain in the back again over the Falklands - By Nile Gardiner World
In yet another display of disdain for the Anglo-American Special Relationship, the Obama administration has weighed in on the mounting tensions between Great Britain and Argentina over the Falkland Islands. Just two days after Prime Minister David Cameron issued a robust statement in the House of Commons vowing to defend the sovereignty of the Falklands,

Drones In The Hands Of The Paparrazi - It's an ethical minefield
America's use of drones for targeted killings is serious enough. But commercial and law enforcement uses are on the horizon. Whether you view them as model aeroplanes for grown-ups or the handmaidens of the killer robot, unmanned aerial vehicles (UAVs), commonly known as drones, are taking off in earnest. ...

The Observer uncritically regurgitates Trotskyist smears against Katharine Birbalsingh- By Toby Young, Daily Telegraph
Theres a disgraceful attempt to smear Katharine Birbalsingh in this mornings Observer. Under the headline Katharine Birbalsingh criticised over wasteful free school project, the papers policy editor Daniel Boffey tries to create the impression that theres growing local opposition to the Michaela Community School Birbalsinghs free school which is due to open in

Were being sent the bill for the euro crisis again this time by the IMF - By Daniel Hannan First it was individual banks; then whole industries; then entire countries; now its the world. Western leaders have reacted to the failure of each bailout by decreeing a bigger one. Unable to admit their mistake, slaves to the defunct economist whose thinking dominates our economics faculties and central banks, they act like so many Nick Leesons,

The Three Parent Family More on the progressive left's war on the family and the scientific dictaorship's attempts to dehumanize us all. Babies with three biological parents could be born within three years. Scientists have come up with an IVF technique that uses the undamaged DNA of a third party when couples risk giving their children a genetic conditions such as muscular dystrophy or ataxia. The Wellcome Trust has funded the research (the figures vary between 4 million and six million

As Obama Positions Himself For A War In Syria We Learn That Like Gadaffi, Assad Is Popular With His People
Most Syrians back President Assad, but you'd never know from western mediaAssad's popularity, Arab League observers, US military involvement: all distorted in the west's propaganda war. Suppose a respectable opinion poll found that most Syrians are in favour of Bashar al-Assad remaining as president, would that not be major news? Well one did and we never heard a word of it in the Obama felching western media ...

Bullshit Sherlock
While other blogs are full of how great the cliff - faller ending of Sherlock Holmes was I felt a bit let down. The fake suicide was telegraphed all through the show. And the coda assured us Sherlock had survived. We should not forget of course it was the habit of ...

Will bringing back grammar schools boost social mobility? by Toby Young Daily Telegraph
The possibility that England may shortly see its first new grammar school in over 50 years has, predictably enough, re-opened the debate about selective education. Yesterday, for instance, Allison Pearson came down firmly in favour, while Fiona Millar shot back with an instant rebuttal. Ill get into that argument in a moment, but first lets be

So Why Read Books Anymore
There is great truth and beauty in Homers Iliad, but I would not try to make his sale on such platitudes. Gibbons The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire remains a classic. But I confess it can be hard to get through. Conrads Victory or Knut Hamsuns Growth of the Soil, if authored by writer X this year, would be trashed on Amazon.So what are the reasons, in this age of ...

Eric Holder and the Chicago Way In America Obama's Brownshirts are getting hysterical as they try to make race the major issue in the election campaign.

Dystopian Prophecies Are Coming True - The Government Will Soon Choose Our Wives
Thinking of this entertaining new literary award the Hatchet Job of the Year it was natural to turn to Macaulays Essays, for few reviewers have ever been less reluctant to wound. I had in mind two long review-essays, one on Robert Montgomerys Poems, the other on The State in its relations with ... FOR OLDER COMMENTS from our blog index click here. MORE Featured posts