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Climate Change Killed A Guardian Reader


The Copenhagen Climate Summit threatens to be the biggest ever festial of bullshit and hypocrisy. Can politicians emplty talk save the planet? Are they even talking about the right things? Does the planet need saving? Do we really care? Which way is the party?

Climate Change Kills A Guardian Reader
by Ian R Thorpe
2009-12-07
CREATIVE COMMONS: Attribute, non commercial, no derivs.
KEYWORDS: climate_change-global_warming-science-economics-politics-government-environment-weather

GOVERNMENT HEALTH WARNING: This article contains extreme sarcasm.

Today, after 35 years as a Guardian Readers I cancelled by order. It is not the price though Ł1 a day is a bit steep for a newspaper, nor is it related to the amount of newsprint The Guardian push through my door in spite of their 1010 campaign in support of which they have been haranguing readers to reduce their carbon footprint by 10% in 2010 though the patronising tone of that campaign did not induce much goodwill. To tell one who lives in a modern, well insulated house with a high efficiency heating system and who drives a - well OK my car is not politically correct but I'm disabled and have to get around, that they must cut their consumption and then deliver five tons of paper a week is just taking the piss.

It was not the 1010 campaign that caused me to give up my daily reading of choice however, nor was it the nauseatingly moralistic and condescending front page editorial that marked the opening of the Copenhagen climate change summit with a paean to the politicians who will gather for two weeks to stuff their faces with gourmet food and wash it down with the finest of wines as they fail to save the planet from (TA-TA-TAAAA) Climate Change. I have become accustomed and therefore immune to the Guardian's Politically Correct Though Police telling me what I must think and how I must live my life.

So Carol Thatcher said "gollywog" on television earlier this year. Nobody died. There was no blood. So Jeremy Clarkson drives monster cars, banging him up in an oubliette is not going to save the world. So a comedian made a joke about disabled people. I'm disabled and I thought it was funny. I was brought up to believe life will occasionally empty a bucket of shit on everyone's head. We have to deal with it. For those reasons I am not going to join in the praise of Gordon Brown and Barack Obama as they spout their verbal diorreah, endless streams of clichés and banalities that will achieve nothing. I am not going to fall for the snake oil salesman spiel of "climate change scientists" when they quote meaningless statistics and produce pretty coloured graphs. Environmental campaigners like myself were trying to raise awareness of our problem thirty years ago. For twenty of those years the scientists sneered that all the evidence was anecdotal and based on sentiment. It was only when the problem became so acute governments were suddenly willing to throw $Ł€billions at it that academics suddenly became interested. Suddenly it was scientific. Well there was money in it wasn't there?

It was not even the total abandonment of objectivity over the past few years on this issue that turned me, the insistence that the scientific case for "Anthropogenic Global Warming" was proven beyond all doubt. The readiness to brand anyone who expressed any doubt about this very dodgy science as a climate change denier, a right wing crank and insane was irritating because "anrthopogenic" is a made up word the science lobby think means man made and its use is a blatant attempt to baffle opponents with big words. Unfortunately anthropogenesis, the only word in the OED from which anthropogenic can be derived refers to the evolution of humans from apes, the beginnings of humanity. And I rather think Palaeolithic cavemen had little to do with global warming. It is not the science of climate change then but the science of bullshit. And of course the science of discarding the data that does not fit with the answer the project managers want and then destroying the source material so the work cannot be reviewed.

But none of that caused my divorce from The Guardian though it all contributed. The straw that finally broke the freethinker's back was an article they printed today written by Gordon Brown, an article that even by the extraordinarily high standards he sets himself in imbecility and hypocrisy was a masterpiece.

I am usually a contrarian enough individual to have appreciated the quality of the cant contained in this article and would have done so had Brown not resorted to crude and hamfisted attempts at emotional blackmail.

The Prime Minister though he could guilt trip us all by referring to the plight of the poorest nations and how they will be mot vulnerable to the effects of climate change. Big mistake. as it happens I was researching Bangla Desh yesterday and was gobsmacked to discover the nation, which occupies an area about the size of England (not Great Britain or the UK but England) has almost doubled its population since 1997 and is now homes to 165 million people. To put it in perspective that is equal to half the population of the United States which has a land area 60 times greater.

With the birthrate in the developed nations of the west falling below two children per cohabiting couple how is it our problem if Bangla Deshi guys cannot learn to keep it in their trousers. Are we bothered?

The other great hypocrisy of Brown' article and his whole climate change policy I that he repeatedly suggests we can halt and reverse climate change by restoring the broken perpetual growth model for the global economy. In this Brown and Obama are again living in the same dream of pink fairies. So as these two speechify in Copenhagen about saving the planet from anthropogenic global warming, remind yourselves how desperate Brown's government has been to expand Heathrow Airport, dismantle planning laws and make it easier for profiteering construction firms to cover this green and pleasant land with boxy, overpriced little starter homes and unwanted big shed developments and shopping malls and in paces unsuitable for building to plant wind turbines right where they will do most to disrupt natural drainage.

Also remind yourself it is Brown's government that has been pushing for a global cap and trade system to control carbon emissions by taxing the poor and people on average incomes into penury while permitting the rich to carry on in exactly the same way. It is the governments Brown has been part of that thought it a great idea to ship in underwear and Christmas crackers from china, fly chicken from Thailand and prawns from Indonesia, haul milk from Hungary and let Britain make its living by exporting management services to the world.

A quick summary of the causes global warming then:

Bad social management;
Overpopulation in the developing world;
Globalisation;
Fiscal Incompetence;
Ignoring the problem until it was too late for effective action;
Waste of resources (e.g The Guardian's million or so supplements at weekend most of which go straight in people's bins.)

We should gall it politicogenic global warming or scienceogenic global warming. But the politicians and big business, their pet academics and the tame media are trying to shift blame onto us ordinary punters.

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