logo
The Daily Stirrer

Vertical Farming: The Looniest Idea Yet For Saving The Planet
Climate Science is a strange area of human endeavour. Part trainspotting, part trekkie convention goer, it combines an almost autistic obession with collcting details, a very autistic obsession with focusing on a single theme and a fantasists capacity for self deception. The latest loonytoons idea for saving the planet involves turning skyscraper buildings into farms growing food for urban populations. Apart from increasing the cost of food by 1000% and increasing rather than reducing the carbon footprint of food production the idea is so insane noboy could ever take it seriously. Nobody that is except scientists, politicians, academics and the media.

Vertical Farming - The Looniest Idea Yet For Saving The Planet
by Ian R Thorpe.
2010-08-20
CREATIVE COMMONS: Attribute, non commercial, no derivs.
KEYWORDS: food, farming, climate,change, gaia, lovelock, science, scientist, seasons, crops, technology, business, finance, energy, electricity, fuel, fossil, ferilizer, carbon

Over thirty years ago I read James Lovelock's Gaia Theory and found it coincided with the opinions of people I knew whose occupations, farming, forestry and national parks management put them in an ideal position to observe certain changes in the pattern of the seasons. The climate seemed to be changing. Winters were getting milder, summers cooler and wetter. Spring was coming earlier and lasting longer and in the autumn the trees were holding their leaves longer. Taking the advice of The Buddha I did not believe what I read or was told without first ensuring that it was borne out by my own experience, observations and common sense. I was convinced the climate, here in our little corner of the globe, North West England, was going into a period of change. At that time the 'scientists' scoffed at such suggestions, calling them alarmist and unscientific. Well what do scientists know about anything, they spend all their lives coccooned in the bubbles of unreality created in University faculties. Hang on, you might be saying, didn't he say he read Lovelock and isn't Lovelock a scientist? Yes and yes. And he is a brilliant and quite unusual one. Not only does he see the big picture and identify the connections between things instead of focusing on a very narrow area of study, he also understands that science has limitations. When the climate science community finally caught up with the reality dwellers and decided climate change was a reality (they may have been motivated in this by leftist, authoritarian governments seeing an opportunity to spread enough fear and panic thus advancing their control freak agenda and handing out research grants and to biddable types appointed to act as advisers) I was happy to go along with the 'climate science'. These people after all spent their lives studying ice core samples, sediments from lakes and rivers, tree growth patterns, avian migrations and hundreds of other things that were climate related, I was a computer guy who liked to get out into the country and kept himself well informed on current events but spent most of his time developing business systems for the clients of a small but successful consultancy. It was some time in the 1990s I started to have misgivings about climate science. While still believing the climate was changing, what looked obvious to me was that we were heading not for a period of global warming as the scientists cosily put it but, to borrow James Lovelock's phrase 'climate chaos.' Now the doomsday scenarios did not scare me. Humans are resourceful, we would survive somehow, in reduced numbers and with a much reduced lifestyle maybe but we would survive. We have survived climate related catastrophes before. What worried me was the sheer looniness of the solutions the science was throwing up (I choose my words with care here.) The proposed solutions included seeding clouds, spreading reflective particles in the upper atmosphere to reflect some sunlight back into space, one idea even suggested pumping sulphur dioxide into the upper atmosphere. Obviously the clever scientists who came up with that one had not heard of the damage done to Scandinavian pine forests by sulphur dioxide from a new generation of British coal fired power stations during the 1970s and 80s being carried east on the jetstream. On top of that there were plans for liquid biofuels, hydrogen cars and planes, biochar plantations, solar electricity in the UK, scrappage payments, feed-in tariffs, vehicle to grid schemes that would use electric cars to put energy back into the system, all hopelessly and very obviously impractical, all based on the principle not of reducing the carbon footprint but merely shifting it elsewhere. These ideas were advanced as being the solution but the people who developed them had forgotten to factor a few important elements into the algorithms their mathematical modelling software relied on. All the ideas had the potential to make the situation worse rather than better. As the arguments between science worshippers and reality dwellers became bitter and bitchy one of the favourite insults of the science lobby was to accuse their opponents of 'magical thinking.' When we said the best way to cope with climate catastrophe was to sit tight and let nature adjust to new conditions they said that was the same as saying "trust in God." Well if you're a nature worshipping pagan maybe it is. But nature does adjust, we have ample evidence of that. And Winston Churchill was not invoking God when he advised in the face of a different threat, "Keep calm and carry on." Keeping calm and carrying on made sense to me. Sure I might die, but I might die at any moment for millions of resasons only a few of which are connected to climate change. The case for climate science started to unravel long before some leaked e-mails showed some of the leading climate experts to have been involved in many very dodgy collaborations with the aim of exaggerating to threat of imminent disaster. Among these were people who had been prominent supporting the case for punitive carbon taxes, (a system of trading carbon allowances that would enable rich people and multinational corporations to purchase 'indulgences' to absolve in advance their sins of excess carbon consumption), crazy and unproven technologies for sucking carbon dioxide from the air and the climate engineering schemes described above. People opposing the climate science cartel were not arguing for leaving the problem to supernatural forces, we were arguing against the deification of science. The lunacies had to be challenged. What was very noticeably absent from the work of the climate science lobby was the objectivity, critical analysis and capacity for self criticism we have come to expect from scientists who earn respect and acclaim rather than demanding it. As the idiocy of their ideas was pointed out with increasing clarity the climate science community seemed to go into denial. Their arguments and proposals became loonier. And just when you though they could not possibly get any more addle brained somebody would produce a theory which managed to stray further into the realms of insanity. In the end one must conclude it is the green lobby rather than the 'drill baby drill' or 'burn baby burn' crowd who are the misanthropes. So often you see their ideas have been so poorly thought through that they would involve putting a ton of CO2 into the atmosphere to save a Kilo. : . But no green delusion is as crazy as the one I am about to explain. So please bear with me while I spell out the latest madness. One of the most easily predictable consequences of climate chaos would be massive food shortages. A big generator of carbon emissions is the transport needed to bring fresh food from low labour cost agricultural economies to the rich nations of the west. In those rich nations farmland is in short supply, water shortages could impose tighter constraints on agriculture and there are grave questions about whether a growing population can continue to be fed. There are a number of plausible solutions to this, we do not need to revisit here the GM crops argument or talk about the cost to the environment of the wests appetite for beef. Of the cheap and achievable solutions none is scientific enough for the science worshipping greens so a parasitologist at Columbia University called Dickson Despommier has come up with an idea so insane, so out of touch with reality it makes Alfred E. Neuman seem like the most rational person in the world. Despommier starts sensibly enough by pointing out that while horizontal space for growing crops is limited, vertical space remains abundant. Thus he proposes that crops could be grown in skyscrapers, or vertical farms as he likes to call them. His theory rests on the idea that vertical farms could feed the growing population of developed nations so efficiently that ordinary farmland will be allowed to revert to forest. Vertical farms will feed the urban populations that surround them, eliminating the need for long-distance transport. Just forget for a moment that population growth has slowed to a near standstill in many developed nations, in fact if illegal immigrants were shipped home population in Britain is static while in France and Italy it is actually falling. Even a cursory reading of Despommier's essays reveals some huge obstacles. He proposes 30-storey towers to feed people in places like Manhattan. A quick Google on building costs for recent construction projects shows a 30 storey tower would cost around £65million ( $100m) minimum, possibly as much as $200m. The only cash crop that could cover such costs is high-grade cannabis. But a 30-storey hydroponic skunk tower might have the law sniffing around before it had produced its first harvest. Without giving any details of how he arrived at the conclusion, Despommier claims his system will need "no herbicides, pesticides, or fertilizers". He should try dealing with the fungal infestation developed from airborne spores I have in my little greenhouse this year. He also seems to expect plants to grow on water and air alone as no costs for waterborne nutrients are included in his figures. Beyond that he insists there will be no involvement of fossil-fuelled machinery", which suggests that he intends to farm a 30-storey building without pumps, heating or cooling systems or artificial light. Ah well, perhaps he is thinking of a roof garden. Portraying his idea as the antithesis of the intensive farming carried out by an ever decreasing number of highly mechanised farming corporations". Despommier believes Cargill, Monsanto, Archer Daniels Midland and IBM ought to be willing to fund it. He suggests "locally grown would become the norm", but fails to explain why such businesses would not seek the most lucrative markets, regardless of locality. His scientific thinking assumes that in the cause of saving a bit of the planet all usual rules of business, economics, physics, chemistry and biology would be suspended. Those are a few minor, trivial problems for the scheme. The big problem is delicately skirted around: light. If Despommier is thinking in terms of something more ambitious than a roof garden there is no way in a tower block that enough natural light can enter through the windows of any but the top floor to facilitate the growing of food crops. I obtained some figures of light requirements for greenhouse cultivation of food crops from the Royal Horticultural Society. Then because I know little about high power electric lighting systems I asked a friend who used to be a lighting engineer for a television drama maker to tell me what they meant. The outcome was that artificial light light required to grow the 500 grammes of wheat that a European Standard loaf of bread contains would cost, at current UK energy prices, £9.50. (about $15) The current farm-gate price for half a kilo of wheat is 6pence (about 10c). Even without thinking of other costs, fertilizer, air conditioning, labour interest, rates, rents or labour that is quite a hefty loss for any business to sustain. I suppose the need to cover such losses and support 'right - on' businesses is the reason we need carbon taxes. The truly frightening thing is the science community and politicians appear to be taking this idea seriously. It has already featured in the New York Times, Time magazine and Scientific American, and on the BBC, CNN, Discovery Channel and NBC. Treehugging weirdie - beardies love it. If anyobody still needed to be convinced the people leading the climate debate have lost touch with reality this is it. We have to take back control before these self - important idiots destroy the planet or the human race while deluding the selves they are saving it. ASSIGNED READING:
The Vertical Farm Vertical Farming
Despommier On Colbert
RELATED POSTS:
Seven Billion: Population Growth And Its ConsequencesAs the world passes the milestone of seven billion people alive in the planet at one time The Daily Stirrer's Ian Thorpe looks at the likely consequences of population growth and at what we might be able to do to get it under control.
Nuclear Power Risks or How To Stop Worrying And Love The Atom
The Greens, fear and panic merchants, cap and trade profiteers, carbon warmageddonists and usual suspects have been in a funk about the Fukushima nuclear power station accident, demanding we shut down nuclear generation as well as coal mines and oil wells. But the lesson of Fukushima is we should stop worrying and learn to love the atom.

Will GM Foods Feed The World As Science Says? Probably Not.The case for geneticaslly modified (GM) food crops looked to be dead in the water but heartened by the fact that American voter's put the New World Order's houseboy in the White House the gm science lobby are evangelising their quasi - religious science again. So will GM cropsd really grow the food that feeds 9 billion people or is gm just another science scam that serves the righ and poiwerrful like global warming.
Oil Shale Salvation
Recent discoveries of huge gas and oil bearing shale deposits in the USA, CAnada, Russia and under Britain's territorial waters as well as off the Falkland Islands and in the Antarctic are raising false hope of an early end to the energy crisis and food price inflation. What is the reality of these new oil and gas reserves, do they really offer the economies of the developed world salvation and a return to business as usual.

Warmageddon: To Feed The Planet We Need More Carbon DioxideWarmageddonists are always whining about hoe raised levels of CO2 in air will destroy human society. It is very well known however that most animal life can happily breathe much higher concentrations. Another fear is failure of food supplies. But others argue raising CO2 levels would nullify the case for another science sacred cow GM food crops. So who is right?
GM Food Needed To Avert World Food CrisisThe GM Foods Nazis are revving up for a good whine again. Professor Sir John Beddington said there was no scientific qick fix to the ''enormously serious'' problem of producing enough fod to feed the world's rapidly growing population in the future as we face problems such as climate change, population growth and energy shortages. He told BBC Breakfast News: ''If there are genetically modified (GM) organisms that actually ...
Rare Earth Mine Reopens - Triumph For Common Sense.Politicians and the science community rave about how carbon is destroying the planet. But what's the truth about how clean green energy will be. Rare earth metals used in digital devices, electric car batteries, wind turbines and many other processes that are being promoted as necessary to restart the global economy. Mining and refining the ores is a huge pollutant but new mining licences are being granted ever so quietly.
Cancun Climate Conference Will Ignore Big QuestionsThis years international conferrence on climate change is taking place in Cancun, Mexico this week. Will it be any more successful that last years fiasco in Copenhagen? Unlikely unless the politicians grpw some balls, kill the scientists, sideline the limp wristed politically correct wimp Obama and face up to the read causes of climate problems which all come back to one thing, TOO MANY PEOPLE.

Climate Scientists And The Honesty Question As the world's media turns its attention to the latest shenanigans of world leaders and climate scientists in Cancun, Mexico, The Daily Stirrer's Ian R Thorpe invites us to look at the basic homesty of the carbon trading industry. In the run up to Cancun there has been a flurry of activity in the climate science community, including contributions from those discredited crooks and liars the University of East Anglia Climate Research Unit trying to push the old line that people who see through the climate science scam "are not scientists and therefore cannot understand the science. Should we take any notice of people who have demonstrated they have serious integrity issues...
Country Folk Have No Reason To Love The Coalition
During thirteen years of Labour misrule country people became paranoid about government. The consevative - liberal democrat (lib dem)coalition, while having made a good start on cutting out of control public spending and the spread of debilitating bureaucracy does not yet appear to have a firm grasp of rural problems ...

Freaky Frankenstein FishesOnce again we find ouselves questioning the sanctity of science as a new scheme to farm genetically modified (G.M. salmon that grow to twice the size of a normal adult salmon in half the time nears approval by the United States F.D.A.. It this another case of scientists blinding themselves with science and failing to see the very obvious flaws in the plan?
The Growing Problem Of Rising Food PricesWhile the warmists rant about carbon and the Church of Scienceology Cult rave about climate science. there are threee real and immediate problems facing us that nobody is talking about. These are overpopulation, water shortage and food price inflation. This article deals with food prices, links at the bottom lead to our posts on population and water scarcity.
How Our Creature Comforts Are Baking The World
As the arguments rage on between the Climate Science Wankers lobby and the sceptis, realists and out and out deniers we observe that still nobody who gets media coverage, nobody who is talking sense about climate chaos, carbon based fuels, deforestation or over population is really being heard. Quite simply there are too many of us and we want too much. Who needs science or politics to understand that?

Footballers More Highly Valued Than Scientits - Scientists ComplainWe are used to scientists whingeing, oh they're so hard done by, they work long and hard at the task of extending human knowledge and are paid peanuts ('if you pay peanuts you end up hiring monkeys' goes an old business maxim. Now they are complaining immigration law values football more highly than science as footballers' work visas are priorities. Why not we ask, footballers entertain some people, scientists seem to spend all their time molesting mice. When you see (below) some of the work they turn in you might think as we do that if scientists are earning peanuts we're overpaying them...
United Nations Warns Of A New Food CrisisWith food price inflation causing social problems in poor nations already the United Nations, as always slamming the stable door after the horse has bolted, has warned of an imminent crisis.
from The Daily Stirrer

Chief Of Climate Science Panel Under Pressure To ResignBy far the best news of the month is the discredited head of the United Nations Inter-governmental panel on climate change is under pressure to resign following twelve months of revelations showing how he manipulated the panel's work to support suggestions that climate change was far worse and a far more imminent

Next Boss Warns On Cotton Price IncreasesAs the boss of a major UK clothing and fashion retailer warns of the likely impact of rising cotton prices on the cost of clothing John De Roe revisits on of The Daily Stirrer's recurring themes throughout the economict crisis, overpopulation.
Food Will Cost The EarthA bid by Australian mining giant BHP Billiton to buy Potash Corp of Canada draws attention to food price inflation, rising commodity prices in world markets and an impending global food supply crisis. It is not just potash, essential in food production, but other finite resources like oil that corporate giants are bidding to gain control of that should concern us.
Climate Science To Blame For ClimateAfter the Copenhagen climate summit failed to agree a plan of action to combat climate change the science lobby have been quick to blame capitalism, business, politicians and the public for the alleged problems of "antropogenic" global warming. But a critical and objective analysis reveals there is olny one culprit. Science alone is to blame.
Climate Science To Blame For ClimateAfter the Copenhagen climate summit failed to agree a plan of action to combat climate change the science lobby have been quick to blame capitalism, business, politicians and the public for the alleged problems of "antropogenic" global warming. But a critical and objective analysis reveals there is olny one culprit. Science alone is to blame.
Climate Change DeniersThere have been calls from the self-aggrandizing wing of international politics (e.g. Obama and chums) to make climate cange denial a crime like Holocaust denial. Having been a climate change campaigner for over thirty years I object to this insanity. Apart from a few cranks nobody is denying something is going on, people are merely asking what is really causing it...
Climate Change Science ScamI have been campaigning about climate change for over thirty years. Now, the more I read of efforts by governments, academics and corporate interests to come up with a quick fix the more I am convinced they are working a scam to make quick, easy money
Climate Change Polulation ControlThe ice caps melt at an accelerating rate, despite all the hand wringing of "progressive" politicians a global economy built on perpetual growth cannot reduce its greenhouse gas emissions and the scientific quick fixes offered by the academic community get whackier and potentially more catastropic. Is it time to say the unsayable?
Climate Change CorruptionThe spiel from the control freak governments of developed nations in the run up to the Copenhagen Climate Conference billed as the last chance to save the planet from a global warming catastrophe went something like this."You must listen to the scientists, you must not think for yourselves, you must never question authority," Luckily we all knew the scientists chanting this mantra were as much crooks and liars as the politicians and billionaires they worked for.
Climate Science LiesThe Copenhagen summit conference on climate change was never about climate change. It was about money, power, control and the need to divert attention from the failure of globalization. Pity the science used to back up the case for action was so easily exposed as fraudulent. Read more...
Why Copenhagen Had To Fail>In a surprise statement today the world's leading climate change expert annouced that he hopes the Copenhagen climate change summit, billed as our last chance to avoid a global warming catastrophe, ends in failure. Any deal struck, according to James Hansen, would involve the creation of a carbon trading market and in putting the interests of capitalism ahead of solving the problem would only make matters worse
An Inconvenient Truth About Climate ChangeIn a surprise statement today the world's leading climate change expert annouced that he hopes the Copenhagen climate change summit, billed as our last chance to avoid a global warming catastrophe, ends in failure. Any deal struck, according to James Hansen, would involve the creation of a carbon trading market and in putting the interests of capitalism ahead of solving the problem would only make matters worse
We Need Nuclear PowerAfter thirty years of dithering, listening to know -nothing scientists and do nothing wierdie-beardies, short-termism and pandering to the profit motive our ruers have finally accepted we ned to build nuclear power stations to ensure supplies of reasonably clean electricity for the future.
V2G TechnologyVegicle to grid power for clean energy. Probably the craziest and most ueseless idea yet from the 'Let's make a quick buck out of climate change' fear and panic Anthropogenic Global Warming industry.
Own A Fragement Of The True Hockey StickBelievers in the new religion of AGW, anthropogenic global warming or climate change will be sick of having their science based faith mocked and their scientist priests ridiculed. To help them hold to their belief we offer a change to own a fragment of the true hockey stick, the sacred symbol of their religion.
Wind Of ChangeGovernments everywhere are mad for wind power. Turbines are going up everywhere. But is wind an answer. The blades may turn prettily enough but there is actually a very narrow range of wind speeds in which they can operate efficiently. Added to that, while the environmental costs of manufacture have been quantified, wind enthusiasts are less willing to talk about the damage done to the environment by planting the large concrete platforms on which these proliferating wind turbine towers are mounted.
Nature Does Not NegotiateThe American lifestyle is not up for negotiation, George W Bush famously said in response to the Kyoto treaty on climate change. Unfortunately nature does not negotiate. This article highlights the hubris of climate change deniers and those who, in the face of irresistibe forces and natural processes so vast and complex they defy understanding, claim that science and technology can reverse the accelerating changes in the climate and save the planet from catastrophic natural disasters.
Copenhagen Climate Conference - The Real AgendaGovernments, corporate interests and academics have been spreading fear and panic about climate change in advance of the Copenhagen Climate Change Summit billed as our last chance to avoid catastrope. But in the light of recent revelations about scientific fraud is Copenhagen really about the climate catastrophe or is there a hidden agenda
Feel The Burn (climate change poem)

If you liked this, please give it a boost

Bookmark and Share

Close Window and return to menu

Environment Feeds (Go back to top)
Guardian Environment
[an error occurred while processing this directive]
Yahoo Science


The URL you supplied is either not RSS or the site is down at this time. Please check the feed URL or refresh the page.

Comedy Feeds (Go back to top)
BBC Comedy Feed

BBC Comedy Blog
Updated : Thu, 02 Feb 2012 13:52:39 +0000

Late 'n' Live Guide to Comedy

In order to see this content you need to have both Javascript enabled and Flash installed. Visit BBC Webwise for full instructions. If you're reading via RSS, you'll need to visit the blog to access this content.

For over 25 years, Edinburgh Fringe audiences have gathered, like Romans to the Coliseum, to watch comedians fight against hecklers at the Gilded Balloon venue and it’s Late 'n' Live event.

These people are renowned as the comedy world’s most unpredictable audience; never sedated by a famous name: they expect laughs or they give better than they get.

Now for the first time, with narration by Late 'n' Live veteran performer Lynn Ferguson, and interviews with other comedians who performed there, exclusive archive footage of Late 'n' Live can be revealed to those who never made it to the post-midnight show. Or indeed weren’t sober enough to remember it. 

Amongst those taking part in the programme are Russell Brand, Johnny Vegas, Jason Byrne, Zoe Lyons, Shappi Khorsandi, Caroline Rhea, Ross Noble and Rich Hall.

And now we welcome on to the blog, the woman behind both Late 'n' Live and the Gilded Balloon venue, Karen Koren, to tell us more.

Karen Koren remembers...

Many a wild night was had. Johnny Vegas would have me running around getting him concoctions from the bar. He would inevitably throw up on stage and induce many an audience member to do the same. All I can say is it was no fun for my staff who had to try and clean up after him, as it made them sick as well. Luckily the tv viewing public will not be exposed to that sort of thing in the next few shows, however, there is plenty that is funny or bizarre and a bit scary.

Next Monday’s show is about the first timers: Jason Byrne with his sticks, he always had loads of props his first time. Rich Fulcher was brilliant as Eleanor – the Tour Whore! Then there is Shappi Khorsandi’s first and only time. Tim Minchin too, who says Late’n’Live was not for him but there were plenty who it did work for. Why are there so many comics afraid of performing at Late’n’Live – is it because it really will make them a better comic? Or is it too much of a ritual for some comics to get through? It would seem so!

Late 'n' Live Guide to Comedy, BBC One (Scotland) Monday 11.05 pm

Or watch on iPlayer

 


Publ.Date : Thu, 26 Jan 2012 15:18:00 +0000

BBC Three and Us!

Today we've re-branded our web exclusive comedy as part of BBC Three. Misery Bear is the first to make the jump but pretty soon we’ll have many more web series appearing as part of BBC Three's Feed My Funny. The web series will still appear on this website too but as you’ll see from Zai Bennett’s post on the Three Blog what's happening on bbc.co.uk/comedy is part of a wider story about BBC Three, Comedy and the web. Enjoy the Teddynator!

Zai Bennett, Controller of BBC Three says...

Today we announced a raft of new comedy commissions for BBC Three and as well as a number of TV series, there's a major new investment to develop original comedy with six full pilots for a new online initiative, the Comedy Kitchen. And BBC Three now becomes the home for all online comedy for the BBC, which explains the new Feed My Funny section on our website and the addition of Misery Bear to our comedy family.

There will be loads more original comedy appearing online, just follow us on Twitter or Like us on Facebook and we will tell you all about it.

 

The new TV comedies announced today include; Bad Education written by and starring Jack Whitehall, The Revolution Will be Televised a vehicle for Don't Panic's Heydon Prowse and Jolyon Rubinstein and a new sitcom from Game On's Bernadette Davis called Some Girls. We've also recommissioned Him & Her for a third series, and there's a new multi-series deal now in place for Russell Howard's Good News.

And there's a brand new show starting in January that we are really excited about called Pramface. So excited infact, the second series has already been commissioned.

New series Pramface starts in January.

When the Comedy Kitchen in iPlayer opens next year, we will have a series of single full length comedy pilots, for you. They include The Imran Yusef Show, a mixture of stand up and sketch from the fast and furious Imran Yusef, People Just Do Nothing a pirate radio mockumentary and Impratical Jokers, a new hidden camera format. Plus the world's foremost silent comedian The Boy With Tape On His Face will be building on his success from this year's Comedy@TheFringe with a solo project for us, we'll have a brand new sketch show from the Dawson Brothers and Alison Jackson's Breaking News will use incredible lookalikes to bring a variety of celebrities down to size.

Our commitment to comedy on all platforms is self evident. BBC Three is the channel that breaks new comedy in the UK. We are delighted that Bad Education, Some Girls and The Revolution Will Be Televised are joining our already exciting stable of TV comedy. And our additional investment online ensures that there is now a nursery slope for new writers and performers on the channel.


Publ.Date : Wed, 30 Nov 2011 16:45:00 +0000

Mark Watson Addresses the Nation

Mark Watson as... Mark Watson

Last Wednesday Mark Watson returned to the airwaves with his new show for Radio 4 - the aptly titled Mark Watson's Live Address to the Nation, featuring the fabulous Tim Key (winner of the 2009 Edinburgh Comedy Awards ) and Tom Basden (Armstrong & Miller).

So naturally we cornered Mark by the lifts and asked him to write a blog about it!  

Mark writes:
 

At last I’ve got five minutes to reflect on Wednesday night’s antics. When some people say ‘take five minutes to think’ they actually mean take a nice hour with a cup of tea. But unhappily thanks to my remarkable current schedule, it really is five minutes. Still, that’s just about long enough to conclude that it went reasonably well.

There were a couple of unforeseen setbacks, like the bit where a microphone made the world’s worst noise for a while; and a not-quite-foreseen moment when the public voted for the ending to the show which we had not predicted.

But that of course is precisely the fun of doing it live. As you’ll be able to verify if you were there, I squawked and flailed in my usual manner and kept yelping 'THIS IS LIVE!!!!!' as my brain continually registered that thought. I was slightly less madcap than in the pilot though, which I think went equally well overall.

Tim Key and Tom Basden... hard at work (ish)

The usual (but heartfelt) thanks go to everyone who made the trip to Broadcasting House. It would be a grim experience to do it live with anything less than a very enthusiastic audience. Plus those laughs fill the time. Although once again, it was a case of speeding up rather than trying to pad things out. (Actually, within the space of ten minutes we went from being worryingly behind schedule to worryingly ahead of it, but I’ll spare you the details because my heart is starting to accelerate all over again just remembering it.)

I guess if we had gone short I could always have filled the silence with, say, some jokes. That is what my job’s meant to be. But it doesn’t always feel like that when the nation’s Radio 4 listeners are poised by their radios and you hear those bleeps and it all begins. Still, it’s for precisely that sort of ‘aaargh!' moment that you take on a live show.

If you didn’t listen – I can only assume it's because you were kidnapped etc – you can still catch the first episode on iPlayer. I won’t give away any spoilers but WATCH OUT FOR THE GLADIATOR.

SPOILER ALERT!

Tune in for more Mark Watson's Live Address to the Nation on Wednesdays at 11pm on Radio 4.


Publ.Date : Tue, 08 Nov 2011 16:05:00 +0000

Jesting About 2 - The Results

We've just heard from the folks at Jesting About 2, the North East-focused initiative which gives people the opportunity to pitch to BBC commissioners, and they were very excited because they're ready to reveal the results of their search for up-and-coming comedy talent.

This is what they told us:

Over 600 comedy scripts and sketches were submitted, from which 31 talented individuals have been selected to take part.

Candidates were selected by a panel of BBC commissioners and include Game of Thrones and Ideal actor Ben Crompton, Teesside brothers James and Jack Boughen, and Lesley Gair, who recently left a career in retail to concentrate on writing and whose partner John Scott has also been selected. The full list can be seen below.

The successful applicants will attend workshops and receive support from BBC commissioners, executive producers and on-screen talent to develop their ideas into pilots over the next three months.

Last year’s Jesting About resulted in successes such as an animation commissioned for BBC Comedy Online, and a sitcom script optioned by Pett Productions, the indie run by Vic Reeves, Bob Mortimer and Lisa Clark.

View the full blog post to access video content. In order to see this content you need to have both Javascript enabled and Flash installed. Visit BBC Webwise for full instructions

Ross Noble reveals one of his favourite heckles - from Jesting About 1.

BBC Creative Head of Comedy, Simon London, said "we've been overwhelmed by the response we've had to our ideas and briefs" and Peter Salmon, Director of BBC North, added "we've discovered some new and authentic comedy voices, and can’t wait to see their ideas turned into reality".

Agnes Wilkie, Creative Director at Northern Film & Media is confident that the combined investment and commitment "will produce a fantastic return of new, North East focused commissions across the three strands”.

And so, without further ado, here are the names of the successful candidates!

TV Comedy - creating a pilot sitcom for BBC One

Jamie Diffley (Whitley Bay)
Lee Henman (Cleveland)
Alex Reid Milligan (Northumberland)
Robert Rodriquez (Chesterfield, Derbyshire)
Jessica Silcock (Barnsley)
Naomi Smith (Macclesfield, Cheshire)
Ian Skelton (County Durham)

Radio - creating a half hour sketch show for BBC Newcastle and BBC Tees

Jack Boughen (Teesside)
James Boughen (Teesside)
Alex Collier (Sunderland)
Victoria Cook (Whitley Bay)
John Cooper (County Durham)
Ben Crompton (Newcastle)
Lesley Gair (Newcastle)
Janet Plater (Newcastle)
Andy Fury (Northumberland)
David Williams (Northumberland)
Steve Bugeja (Manchester)
Mike Whalley (Stockport)

TV Entertainment - creating a pilot for a weekly live comedy and entertainment series for BBC Three

Will Cooper (Newcastle)
Owen Cooper (Newcastle)
Hal Branson (Newcastle)
Charlie Richmond (Newcastle)
John Scott (Newcastle)
Alex Collier (Sunderland)
Rob Gilroy (Gateshead)
Alex Oates (Whitley Bay)
Guy Emery (Whitley Bay)
Gavin Webster (Tyne and Wear)
Mark Meiklejohn (Edinburgh)
Robert Girvan (Edinburgh)
Peter Donachie (Edinburgh)

Congratulations to everyone involved, now the hard work begins!


Publ.Date : Mon, 09 Jan 2012 15:00:00 +0000

Comedy Talent Search - Laugh Track

BBC Comedy Commissioning and BBC Writersroom have joined forces for a second nationwide talent search to find new comedy gold. If you have a big studio sitcom brewing in your mind and can tell original stories, invent characters and catchphrases that can make a live audience laugh, then send in your script.

This is an opportunity not to be missed - you may get the chance of your work performed at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival and at our Sitcom Showcase at the Studio in MediaCity, Salford. You could also be in line for a comedy masterclass on how to write studio sitcoms, plus an intensive week away developing your idea hand-in-hand with BBC comedy producers and established comedy writing talent.

 

The amazing Dawn French will be on the panel of judges. Cheryl Taylor (Controller, Comedy Commissioning), who judged last year's BBC writersroom comedy talent search says: "I was thrilled last year by the number of very funny and original scripts that we were asked to judge. It was a pleasure to read all of the short listed projects as was having the opportunity to meet some of their very talented authors."

The deadling for entries is Wednesday, 21 March 2012. For information on how to enter, visit the Writersroom website.


Publ.Date : Thu, 02 Feb 2012 13:52:39 +0000

RSS For Web Pages
Increase Traffic
The Daily Mash


The Daily Mash
Updated : Fri, 10 Feb 2012 07:06:02 +0100

Capello convicted of tax evasion
TOTTENHAM Hotspur manager Fabio Capello has been convicted of tax evasion relating to payments made when he was manager of Portsmouth FC.
Publ.Date : Thu, 09 Feb 2012 08:09:40 +0100

Madonna becomes new face of Tena Lady
AFTER a near perfect performance at the Super Bowl on Sunday, Madonna has been unveiled as the new brand ambassador for feminine leakage pads.
Publ.Date : Wed, 08 Feb 2012 09:19:23 +0100

Your problems solved, with Holly Harper
"I intend to break into his house, put on Alive and Kicking by Simple Minds at full volume, tie him to a chair with pretty tartan ribbon and then force feed him haggis until he bursts."
Publ.Date : Wed, 08 Feb 2012 10:01:38 +0100

Drug lords back watered-down booze
PLANS to dilute alcoholic drinks have won the enthusiastic support of Britain's heroin kingpins.
Publ.Date : Thu, 09 Feb 2012 09:43:30 +0100

Hester claims RBS office full of asbestos and tigers
RBS chief executive Stephen Hester has claimed his job is full of hidden dangers that could kill him.
Publ.Date : Wed, 08 Feb 2012 11:07:52 +0100

Rss Feed Reader
More Web Site Traffic

SITE SEARCH
find keywords on this site

Enter keywords& choose search engine:

Google: Yahoo: MSN:

This free script provided by
JavaScript Kit

INFORMATION & NAVIGATION

navigate

navigate

CATEGORIES

Fiction
Wide World - travel
Health / Wellbeing
Nature
Real Lives - biography
Past Perspectives
Philo & Sophia
Fools & Dreamers
Comment & Opinion Faith And Spirituality
Books
Entertainment
Music
Arts & Crafts
Environment
Food
Science & Tech.
Bog of Blogs

Visit The BLOG INDEX and keep up with our comments around the web

TAGS
Climate Change
BLOGS
Boggart Blog
Little Nicky Machiavelli
Boggart Network News
Greenboggart

BOGGART BLOG ARCHIVES

BBselect001
BBselect002
BBselect003
BBselect004
BBselect005
BBselect006
MULTI MEDIA
Spoken Word
Video
Music
Graphic Art
Home
Top Of Page
Back Catalogue
Our Comments
 FEATURESThe Daily Stirrer
Boggart Blog Central

 Comedy Main
Comic Verse
Cartoons
A Tale Told By An Idiot
 General
Fiction
History
Thought
Poetry
Science & Technology
Elsewhere

Boggart Blog Daily
Little Nicky Machiavelli
This writer at Authorsden Gathering
Delicious Greenteeth
Boggart Network News
Boggart Network News

More From Around The Labyrinth

LATEST POSTS & COMMENTS

BLOG BULLETIN Home [...]The Daily Stirrer [...] UK Home

Latest Posts
More Climate Science Fraud Exposed: Himalyan Glaciers Are Not Melting
The Himalayas has lost no significant ice over the past decade, according to a new study, that found melting ice from glaciers is having a much smaller effect on sea levels than previously thought. Previous studies relied on physical measurements of ice caps and glaciers on the ground. It's ironic that people who have relied on high tech modelling techniques to conceal the reality of what is going on are now exposed (again) as crooks and liars by new high tech methods of measuring glaciers ...

Bank Of England To Print Money To Avoid Recession
Monetary policy policy-makers at Bank of England have unveiled plans to inject an extrat £50bn of stimulus money into the economy in an attempt to avert a second recession. Before we go on to look at how much harm this wil;l do there are one or two things that must be understood. When we talk about printing money in a modern economy it is not simply a question of buying paper and printing ink and setting up the presses ...

Greek trump card fails as stronger Europe shrugs off break-up threat
The European Union's strongest economies and institutions for the first time gave a clue that they are willing to risk a Greek default and the departure from the European Monetary System (EMS aka The Euro) if Athens refuses to comply with austerity demands. The governments and central banks calculate that the eurozone is now ...
Lay Off Our Adele, Limpdick.
Here at the Accrington end of the Boggart Blog operation we love Adele. She is a talented and original songwriter, has a wonderful voice and comes across as a really fun person who is not up her own arse. OK she's not a bag of bones like ...

U.S. Drones target aid workers and mourners at funerals.
Another "We Told You So" moment for The Daily Stirrer. We have reported many times that the Obama administration is interfereing in places where it has no business interfereing all around the middle east and east Africa. "President" Obama announced with great fanfare and to rapurous cheering from his pseudo - liberal, crypto - Nazi supporters that in any conflict his administration would ...

Can The Euro Survive If Greece Leaves The Single Currency System?
Away with banners and air horns and out with batons and knuckleduster in Athens this afternoon as a wave of public protests agiants the EU imposed austerity measures and the hijack of Greeek democracy by European bureaucrats swept the country.. Greek police have been trying to disperse protesters with tear gas, leading to a few violent clashes outside parliament. Police say up to 8,000 people ...

Zombies Getting Back Together
Older punters may remember the Zombies, younger followers of Boggart Blog will perhps have heard their biggest hit "She's Not There" with singer Colin Blunstone straining his vocal cords to sing way above his natural range and behind him probably the greatest bassline in ...
Klondike 2: The Great Arctic Oil Rush
As the case for CO2 driven climate change continues to crumbe we start to look at how we can keep the wheels of our national economies going. Drilling for oil in the Arctic is a high risk activity but absolutely necessary

Shakespeare's Proud Loner and The Wisdom Of Crowds

Internet billionaires and trendy, fad following media pundits like to talk of the wisdon of crowds suggesting a mob can produce a better, more intelligent result that a small team of specialists. If we look at a few examples of the widom of cowds however we soon find things are not what they seen to be.

UN Veto On Military Action Against Syria Shames The West Says Hague
In yesterday's United Nations Secirity Council meeting Russia and China provoked international outrage for using the veto to block attempts to initiate military intervention by the west in Syria's internal affairs ostensibly to end the violence but really to bring about regime change. UK Foreign Secretary William Hague accused the two major military powers of ...[ War ]

Mrs Obama and the most expensive knickers in the world. The Currant Bun las week was full of news and comment about Mrs Obama going on a spending spreed in sexy undies shop Agent Provocateur that ended up with her spending £32,000 ($50,000) on sexy knickers. In one way this is hrad to believe. Why would the first lady lash out on ... [ more comedy and satire posts ]

Middle East Problems Getting Worse Human rights groups claim 200 civilians killed in Syria by government troops as demands for the removal of President Bashar al-Assad's regime goes before the UN security council. As news of the violence spread, a crowd of Syrians stormed their country's embassy in Cairo and protests broke out outside Syrian missions in Britain, Germany and the United States. The Syrian government says reports of the violence and numbers of dead is greatly exaggerated and it ... [Middle East]

Argentina accuses Britain of using the Falklands as a distraction from economic woes


hrgentina has accused David Cameron's government of fanning the row over the Falklands Islands in an attempt to distract the British public from high unemployment. The moves "have to do with British domestic politics, with the high ... [ War by Proxy] ... [World Politics]

Environment Minister Resigns. Environment Shouts 'There Is A God' Liberal Democrat Chris Huhne resigned this morning from his role as Energy Secretary after being charged alongside his ex-wife Vicky Pryce with perverting the course of justice over speeding cover-up allegations. Mr Huhne and Miss Pryce have both been charged with the same offence after Miss Pryce allgeged that he asked her to take speeding points ...[UK Politics]

Green Policies Will Not Save The Planet But Are Costing Poor Families The Earth>
Politicians bleat sabout the plight of the poor then press on with their clean, green, sustainable energy policies which include stealth taxes to subsidise expensive and inefficient wind turbine and solar panel power generators. Can they not see it is the green agenda that is driving up inflation ...[Environment]

Globalisation can work, but only with a unified international plan says Will Hutton. WRONG!
by John de Roe.
>We need global economic and social institutions working across national borders economist Will Hutton who now appears to have been re educated and started working for The New World Order argued recently. If only it were that simple. Unfortunately globalization is the enemy not the trigger of the kind of economic recovery we need ... [Money - Finance]

Egypt Football Riot kills dozens
Remember the hope and anticipation that followed the downfall of former Egyptian President Honsi Mubarack. Remember how American President Barack Hussein Obama strutted around the world stage as if he had personally led the protests in Tahir Square that led to the overthrow of the dictator's regime? Remember how The Daily Stirrer told you it would all end in tears? After the outbreak of violence at ... [Middle East]

No Jobs For The Masses In The New Economy Despite University Education
No matter how leaders like David Cameron and Barack Obama try to talk up their economies or assure voters the jobs market is improving, growth returning and unemployment will soon start falling, the truth is change does not equal progress and forcing the pace of social change has only masked the true depth of economic and social problems. One of these is unemployment and particularly joblessness among the young. Even a universdity education does not provide a guaranteed career path ... Education

More Old People Are Falling Through Gaps In The Care System Old people are increasingly being let down by a lack of co-operation and communication between the NHS and council-run social care, MPs looking at the crisis in care will reporert this week.
Conclusuions drawn from a study by the all-party health select committee ... [Age Problem]

Not Qualified To Press A Button
Janice Woodward spent 75 minutes trapped with her granddaughter in a lift at her local ASDA store at Portland, Dorset, after health and safety rules stopped staff pushing a button to rescue them according to ...

Drivers Cool About Electric Cars
Have you purchased your new, clean, green, politically correct, all electric car yet? No? I thought not. Neither have I. It is not so much that I hate the enviroment or that I do not want to support the fabulous clean, green, sustainable job creating indistries fabulous, clean, green Dave has promised us will ...

GO TO Boggart Blog Back Catalogue for links to older posts...

COMMENTS AND RECOMMENDED REA.DING AROUND THE WEB

In this section we do not necessarily support the views expressed in linked articles but try to give a coss section of interesting and well written articles that we think are likely to stir things up a bit.

COMMENT:
(A random and ecletic mix of what we thought was worth reading recently)

One Decent Jobs Report Does Not Make A Recovery
There are two reasons why President Obama rushed to the microphone on Friday shortly after the government’s Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS) released relatively good news (by recent standards) that the unemployment rate dropped to 8.3% in January, while the economy added 243,000 seasonally adjusted jobs. ...

Let's Learn From Libya Before We Get Involved In Syria
If we are not careful we are soon going to find ourselves getting into the same mess over Syria as we did in Libya. This time last year the clamour for a military intervention in Libya was gaining ground as forces loyal to Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi threatened to overrun the eastern city of Benghazi ...

India Disses UK Aid: 'More Importasnt To Donors Than Recipients'.
Congratulations to Rahul Bedi for putting into words what we all half-suspected: India neither needs nor wants UK aid. Such grants are outdated and patronising, he says, and encourage corruption. Indeed, Indians have ‘become so contemptuous of Britain’s contribution that they accept it merely to avoid causing the embarrassment’.

London Atheist And Secularist Societies Under Attack From Islamists
I know on occasions in the past I've asked you, dear readers and fellow bloggers to share something widely that needed wider exposure. Well this situation desperately requires that wider exposure and all the help we can provide, especially as the mass media are notably silent on the issue - very likely because of a self-censoring trend itself inspired by fear of what has befallen ...

Unemployment at 8.3% Still Leaves A Vast And Destructive Jobs Deficit Robert Reich, The Guardian
The most significant aspect of January's jobs report is political. The fact that America's labor market continues to improve is good news for the White House. But as a practical matter, the improvement is less significant for the American workforce.
President Obama's only chance for rebutting Republican claims that he's responsible for a bad economy is to point to a positive trend. Voters respond to economic trends as much as ...

Much Media Ado About Nothing What connects seemingly disparate works such as The Silence of the Lambs, Cape Fear, Mad Men, and Seinfeld? It is the philosophy of nihilism, first popularized by Friedrich Nietzsche in the late 19th century. But in the last few decades, how did it become the dominant worldview of Hollywood? Dawn Of The Ice Age Signals The End Of The Global Warming Scam Back then, the media and activists trumpeted the arrival of a new ice age, with the specter of ice sheets and glaciers covering half the northern hemisphere, and brutal winters in the remaining ice-free zones. The fact that the media and popular culture and academia have veered from one panic-inducing disaster scenario to another one which completely contradicts the first one is funny enough in its own right. But reading The Weather Conspiracy: The Coming of the New Ice Age opened my eyes to an even more significant aspect ...

Hundreds of Independent Bookshops Face Closure
Hundreds of independent bookshops could be forced to close unless local authorities do more to support them, a leading retail group has warned. The Booksellers Association (BA), which represents 3,500 independent bookshops across the UK, has written to almost 400 council chiefs urging them to do more to support their local high streets or risk ...

Solar Panels Subsidy Was The Most Ridiculous Green Scheme Deramed Up
A plan to subsidise solar panels on homes was “one of the most ridiculous schemes ever dreamed up”, a Government minister has said.
Lord Marland, an Energy minister, hit out at the cost of so-called feed-in tariffs, which the Government has axed as part of the cuts programme. Last week Court of Appeal ruled that the sudden axing of the tariffs ...

Goodbye Great Britain
Recently, there have been two powerful challenges to the conventional wisdom about the United States. First, Robert Kagan published a lengthy essay in The New Republic, arguing that predictions of America's decline as a global power are woefully premature. .Is it possible, I found myself wondering, to do something similar for Britain? Robert Colvile has a go in this Daily Telegraph article ...

Our rising debt levels are becoming unsustainable – soon we may be talking about wealth confiscation (By Daniel Knowles, Daily Telegraph)
Debt, debt, debt; we’re drowning in it. This morning, the Office for National Statistics published the latest estimates of public sector borrowing. Though borrowing is falling faster than anticipated, thanks to the fact that spending cuts are finally beginning to kick in, the national debt has risen to 64.2 per cent of GDP. More significantly,…

The Obama administration knifes Britain in the back again over the Falklands - By Nile Gardiner World
In yet another display of disdain for the Anglo-American Special Relationship, the Obama administration has weighed in on the mounting tensions between Great Britain and Argentina over the Falkland Islands. Just two days after Prime Minister David Cameron issued a robust statement in the House of Commons vowing to defend the sovereignty of the Falklands,…

Drones In The Hands Of The Paparrazi - It's an ethical minefield
America's use of drones for targeted killings is serious enough. But commercial and law enforcement uses are on the horizon. Whether you view them as model aeroplanes for grown-ups or the handmaidens of the killer robot, unmanned aerial vehicles (UAVs), commonly known as drones, are taking off in earnest. ...

The Observer uncritically regurgitates Trotskyist smears against Katharine Birbalsingh- By Toby Young, Daily Telegraph
There’s a disgraceful attempt to smear Katharine Birbalsingh in this morning’s Observer. Under the headline “Katharine Birbalsingh criticised over ‘wasteful’ free school project“, the paper’s policy editor Daniel Boffey tries to create the impression that there’s growing local opposition to the Michaela Community School – Birbalsingh’s free school – which is due to open in…

We’re being sent the bill for the euro crisis again – this time by the IMF - By Daniel Hannan First it was individual banks; then whole industries; then entire countries; now it’s the world. Western leaders have reacted to the failure of each bailout by decreeing a bigger one. Unable to admit their mistake, slaves to the defunct economist whose thinking dominates our economics faculties and central banks, they act like so many Nick Leesons,…

The Three Parent Family More on the progressive left's war on the family and the scientific dictaorship's attempts to dehumanize us all. Babies with three biological parents could be born within three years. Scientists have come up with an IVF technique that uses the undamaged DNA of a third party when couples risk giving their children a genetic conditions such as muscular dystrophy or ataxia. The Wellcome Trust has funded the research (the figures vary between £4 million and six million …

As Obama Positions Himself For A War In Syria We Learn That Like Gadaffi, Assad Is Popular With His People
Most Syrians back President Assad, but you'd never know from western mediaAssad's popularity, Arab League observers, US military involvement: all distorted in the west's propaganda war. Suppose a respectable opinion poll found that most Syrians are in favour of Bashar al-Assad remaining as president, would that not be major news? Well one did and we never heard a word of it in the Obama felching western media ...

Bullshit Sherlock
While other blogs are full of how great the cliff - faller ending of Sherlock Holmes was I felt a bit let down. The fake suicide was telegraphed all through the show. And the coda assured us Sherlock had survived. We should not forget of course it was the habit of ...

Will bringing back grammar schools boost social mobility? by Toby Young Daily Telegraph
The possibility that England may shortly see its first new grammar school in over 50 years has, predictably enough, re-opened the debate about selective education. Yesterday, for instance, Allison Pearson came down firmly in favour, while Fiona Millar shot back with an instant rebuttal. I’ll get into that argument in a moment, but first let’s be…

So Why Read Books Anymore
There is great “truth and beauty” in Homer’s Iliad, but I would not try to make his sale on such platitudes. Gibbon’s The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire remains a classic. But I confess it can be hard to get through. Conrad’s Victory or Knut Hamsun’s Growth of the Soil, if authored by writer X this year, would be trashed on Amazon.So what are the reasons, in this age of ...

Eric Holder and the Chicago Way In America Obama's Brownshirts are getting hysterical as they try to make race the major issue in the election campaign.

Dystopian Prophecies Are Coming True - The Government Will Soon Choose Our Wives
Thinking of this entertaining new literary award – “the Hatchet Job of the Year” – it was natural to turn to Macaulay’s Essays, for few reviewers have ever been less reluctant to wound. I had in mind two long review-essays, one on Robert Montgomery’s Poems, the other on The State in its relations with ... FOR OLDER COMMENTS from our blog index click here. MORE Featured posts