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Memoirs Of A Performance Poet
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Performance poetry is at best on the fringe of the entertsinment business. There is more to it that sitting on a stage in front of three people and muttering monomaniacal thoughts into your own navel. Sadly not enough peiple are aware of this.

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Memoirs Of A Performance Poet
. by Ian R Thorpe
2007-01-08

A reader asked if my comic verse blog Poets Cornered had any connection with a venue on the London Pub Poetry circuit of if it was a Thorpe original that someone had borrowed.

Its certainly not a Thorpe original so here's the backstory.

In the early 1980s I was involved with a performance group attached to a writers co-operative called Commonword. Some of us started to do gigs as the Commonword players.

When we were asked to take part in an open air festival it seemed a good opportunity to come up with something that would be funny, involve the audience and result in our gobsmackingly sexy female lead Janice getting her T shirt thoroughly wet.

One of the team recalled a spoof poetry contest that had featured in a Peter Cook and Dudley Moore series in which a panel of poets (Cook, Moore and a guest) were fed a line by audience members and had to rhyme that line and feed another to the next poet. Failure to rhyme properly or hesitation lost a life and when three lives were lost the poet was dumped in a gunge tank. The game was called Poets Cornered. Our variation used much the same format but with water as gunge is expensive (there was loads of free gunge around Manchester in those pre-deindustrialisation years, but it tended to be highly toxic.

For a small price punters could be bucketeers (we were into Tizwaz as well as Cook and Moore) and also provide feed lines or even join the panel though there were not many takers for that.

So that is where my Poets Cornered came from. And as there is no copyright on ideas anyone is free to use it. I'm flattered if I inspired someone else.

On the subject of Commonword Players, a few days back in a reply to an e-mail I mentioned that men really should discover the sensuality of wearing suzzies and stocking. My knowledge of this came from our gigs.

At that time James Anderton (God's Copper) the born again Chief Constable of Greater Manchester Police was regularly fulminating against the vice trade, homosexuality, drugs and all the things that make life interesting(Quote: "these people are drowning in cesspits of their own making". Janice wrote a sketch for two women, it featured high class hookers comparing notes. Now of our female cast Janice was already involved, Frances was in her sixties and Joan's hubby was a jealous type who would not have liked her prancing around in sexy clothes. So being the prettiest bloke I was elected for the role. And thus I found out how sensually erotic the act of putting on sheer nylon stockings can be.

Funniest moment though was after the show one night, Janice was at the bar getting some intense attention from a couple of guys. All three of us guys went over to make sure it did not get too intense to find it was actually Jan winding he buggers up. They had been interested in a "double date" and wanted to know when the other "girl" would be coming out from the dressing room. And Janice had been trying to negotiate my "price" up.

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