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Boggart Blog is now in its 4th year of bringing the best of British satire to the web. This article looks at televisions reality game show The Apprentice now halfway through its season. The usual stereotypes are emerging among the contestants, the obligatory loudmouth, sneak, backstabber, gobshite, airhead, slapper and bitch are all there as well as the girl who is competent but too nice to win and the tosser who is incompetent but enough of a bastard to win.
Keywords: satire, humour, humor, apprentice, business, breakfast cereal, television
Creative Commons: Some rights reserved (non commercial, attrib, no derivs.
All reproductions in whole or in part should link to Greenteeth Multi Media Productions http://www.greenteeth.com/index [...] e-mail: edbuttuk@yahoo.com


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September 2010 Uptight - The Blood Donor Experience
by fatsally
Once upon a time giving blood was easy, the atmosphere relaxed and people were encouraged to feel as is they were doing something good and worthwhile. Now, acording to fatsally's latest experience, a visit to the blood bank to offer a life saving armful is like The Prisoner meets Orwell's Big Brother. Bureaucracy has taken over and nobody is allowed to fel relaxed. Rules are rules.

August 2010

Uptight
by fatsally

Just been along to blood donors.
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Loads of changes have occured over the time.

The first time I went, to a permanent centre in London, you could have a tin of Guinness as your post donating drink if you wished. A splendid idea but unfortunately it tended to attract the alcoholics, especially as ...

2010-09-01
Hello Saillor
by fatsally

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The Mail today carries an excellent ...

Court Victory For Anti - MMR Campaigners.
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Property Prices To Fall Again?Despite government eforts to talk up a recovery the economy remains stubbornly stagnant. It is unsurprising really, the UK economy still relies far too much on the housing and property market and with incomes being squeezed and house prices remaining so high they are beyond the reach of first time buyers there is little change of increased activity while unemployment continues to rise.

Food Will Cost The Earth
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Last Of The Summer Whine
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read full post Conflicting Views On Economic Recovery

Cameron in Babygate Puzzle
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Do We Need GM Salmon
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GO TO Boggart Blog Back Catalogue for links to older posts...

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Brown Was Maddening Says Blair

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Is There A Need For HD Audio
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Darwin's Secret Experiment Acenscion Island is a lush tropical paradise 1000 miles from Africa and 2000 from South America. According to the laws of nature it should be barren and so it would be had the orginator of evolutionary science Charles Darwin not begun a great experiment there, one that is still running almost 200 years later...

The Frogs Are Starting To Simmer In The Land Of The Free
Savez Vous Que Vous Parlez Tres Mal Francais
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Labour Leadership Soap Opera as Millibands Battle Each Other
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Afghan Bomb Attack Kills Four US Soldiers A roadside bomb attack in eastern Afghanistan has killed four US soldiers, Nato sources revealed yesterday.AFP quoted spokesman James Judge as saying that a home-made bomb, one of the main weapons of the Taliban, was used in the attack.The attack comes a day after seven US soldiers were killed in two bomb attacks in southern Afghanistan.These deaths add to the rising trend of casualties for Nato's International Security Assistance Force (Isaf). June and July were the worst months for foreign troop deaths since the

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Breakfast With The Apprentices
Ian R Thorpe
23 Apr 2009

The Apprentice rolls on oblivious of the budget, Britain's Got Talent and Barack Obama. Some might suggest that is because it was recorded several months ago but we at Boggart Blog would never stoop so low as to suspect Surrealan of being involved in such a deception. Trust us the programme goes out live in real time and is not edited at all. Next week's task for The Apprentices is to convince sceptics that pigs really can fly.

The usual stereotypes are emerging among the contestants, the obligatory loudmouth, sneak, backstabber, gobshite, airhead, slapper and bitch are all there as well as the girl who is competent but too nice to win and the tosser who is incompetent but enough of a bastard to win.

Last night the task facing the mediocre mob was to launch a new breakfast cereal that would blow rivals out of the water (a cereal killer - oh dear, I'll bet I'm not the first person to do that joke today.)

One team came up with a cereal made of nuts, raisins, cranberries, bran flakes, gravel and sawdust i.e. the same stuff as any commercial brand of museli which they branded "Wake up Call." as in wake up to the joys of a Bacon McMuffin and get yourself to the fast food place. The other team decided as pirates were "very popular right now" (it does go out live, it REALLY does, trust us) and parrots are always popular they would go for a pirate parrot theme. The idea seemed to be a dead parrot but somehow the team came up with a good name, Treasure Flakes.

Once the brand name was created the teams had to create their Tony the Tiger killer. The Treasure Flakes team came up with Captain Squawk, a pirate parrot, not a type of parrot found in Somalia we hasten to point out, this species is native to Hollywood cartoon studios. They had a rubber Captain Squawk suit made up and in the shrewdest move of the whole exercise put the gobshite inside it.

The other team went down another familiar route. Their character was a superhero, Pantsman who, like superman, Batman and John Major wears his pants outside his trousers. Well it's how they get their superpowers. Pantsman had an advertising jingle too, Dance In Your Pants, which sounds more like something teenage girls would do of a Friday night than younger kids would get into on weekday mornings.

The adverts were the main topic at the Boggart Blog editorial meeting this morning. We decided the only way to sell Wake Up Call was to hire Gene Hunt from Ashes to Ashes to say "This cereal is pants but its cheap so buy some and threaten your kids with extreme physical pain until they eat it."

Saving a product that advertises it is pants would be a tough task even for Gene we though so we agreed with Surrealan and the non Somali pirate parrot won for the team led by the girl I suspected was both the slapper and the airhead but who is emerging as a contender. To check that the decision was right we asked the Boggart Blog pirating correspondent Black Jack Baaastard what he would eat for breakfast, Wake Up Call or Treasure Flakes.

He replied Spaniards, Revenue Men and Virgins. Oh well, it will take more than a catchy jingle to persuade some people.

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