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Come Back Jacues Cousteau


Animal programmes on television are not what they used to be. Remember those wonderful documentaries that showed animals doing animaly things in their natural habitat? No more of those, its all anthopomorphic shite now, Animal hospital, animal psychologists, animal X factor...

Come Back Jacques Cousteau
by Sally Redfern
2007-09-20
CREATIVE COMMONS: Attribute, non commercial, no derivs.
KEYWORDS: education, nature, science, television, sea, fish, humour, humor

It is many years since Jaques Cousteau last explored his undersea world, thrilling and informing a generation with astounding photography and gentle, measured descriptions of the myriad lifeforms found in the magical world beneath the waves. I don't recall being taught very much about marine life in school, although we did disect a fish in biology, and it seems that despite efforts to broaden the curriculum this is, sadly, still the case.

Here are some extracts from projects about 'The Sea' written by Junior School chidren.

This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles.

Oysters' ball are called pearls.

A dolphin breathes through an arsehole on the top of its head.

Some fish are dangerous. Electric eels can give you a shock. They live in caves and plug themsekves into chargers.

And here are some other points to bear in mind if you are considering a water sports holiday.

If you are surrounded by sea you are an island. If you don't have sea all around you, you are incontinent.

My uncle goes out fishing with pots and comes back with crabs.

Divers have to be safe when they go under water. They are not allowed to go down alone, so they go down on each other.

When you go swimming in the sea it is very cold and makes your willy small.

On holiday my mum went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast and says she won't try it again because water shot up her fanny.

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