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Smack in the gob for supernatural sceptics
Isn't it annoying when you are having a bit of fun talking about ghosts, monsters, hairy beasties and such and some twat announces he's a scientist and starts talking as if you are stupid and believe all that stuff. Well here's a monster story that will leave such people gobsmacked

Smack in the gob for supernatural sceptics
by Ian R Thorpe
2007-11-03
CREATIVE COMMONS: Attribute, non commercial, no derivs.
KEYWORDS: science, scientists, intelligence, monsters, monster, nessie, bigfoot, Jenny Greenteeth, elemental spirit, humour, humor

This is in response to a personal message written in a sneering tone about our recent halloween posts. The writer obviously thought we take ourselves seriously. I just get so pissed off with these conehead types who announce "I'm a scientists" and think it qualifies them to pontificate on anything and everything. Never mind the one mentioned who was not interesting or even amusing in his stupidity, there was another recently who, because I'd joked that at sixty my hair is still luxuriant and dark as ever, this being thanks to my genes 2000 of which are Grecian. So sciency knob-head piles in to explain patronisingly that I am being conned as Grecian 2000 does not "reactivate melanin" to restore natural hair colour.

I knew that of course, it is a kind of dye formulated, not being a chemist I don't know how, to add colour gradually until we get close to our natural colour. Now I don't mind admitting I colour my hair, the main reason I do so is because my eyebrows have not gone grey at all and the Alistair Darling look is never going to be cool. I don't even mind people taking the piss but I am not going to tolerate some patronising twat thinking that by labelling himself a scientist it gives him the right to address me as if I am stupid when I am obviously not being serious.

Don't these literally - minded people annoy us fun loving, open minded types who love to have whacky discussions down the pub about weird stuff, ghosts, aliens, the paranormal and cryptozoology. Such discussions are great fun and can go on for weeks so long as no self professed scientist come along and spouts "course there' no scientific evidence to support such theories."

Of course there is no scientific evidence, that's what makes it fun. Would you believe I had one high - minded half - wit inform me once that "Jenny Greenteeth (Chief Ectoplasmic Officer of this website) is not an elemental spirit that dwells in stagnant water at all."

There's no helping people like that. But though elementals like Jenny are beyond science and the jury is still out on other cryptozoological specimens such as The Yeti, Bigfoot, Agogwe, The Honey Island Swamp Monter (honest!) and other hairy beasts from around the world, the evidence for lake monsters such as Nessie is pretty overwhelming thanks to one incident. Ses a fuller list of Hairy Hominids at American Monsters.

Now when evidence for Lake Monsters is mentioned we are not talking grainy footage taken by tourists who had recently enjoyed an educational tour of the local distilleries near Loch Ness, we are talking actual physical evidence that the sceptics, those who think their interests (i.e. getting nice fat research grants) are served by insisting there is nothing science cannot explain and dissing as fake all the many things science cannot actually explain.

I want you to consider the case of the Stronsay Beast, the skeleton on a marine creature washed up on the Orkney island of Stronsay in 1808. The creature is obviously a Nessie. Not so say the "scientists", it a basking shark. Jenny Greenteeth who knows a bit about these things says "Shark my slimy arse, if it it looks like a Nessie swims like a Nessie and smells like a Nessie, it probably is a Nessie." Good advice.

Though the skeleton looks nothing like that of a basking shark, the sceptics still insist that is what it is. Do Guinness Book Of Records have a category for "World's most stupid" I wonder? I mean, anyone who thinks the Stronsay Beast is a Basking Shark is off the scale stupid. Witness reports are notoriously unreliable but a skeleton is - well not flesh and blood, but pretty near.

You don't have to accept Jenny's word our mine, for once the Wkipedia entry is quite reliable, citing eye witness reports collaborated by contemporary newspaper and magazine articles. American Monsters website also has extensive information together with a truckload of Lake Monster stories from around the world. Surprisingly, or perhaps not to those of us who believe and disbelieve nothing, many of these stories, told by people who have never heard of Loch Ness, Scotland or Prof. Richard Dawkins, describe montrous creatures similar in appearance to Nessie and the Stronsay Beast

So much for the sceptics, Boggart Blog Central will continue to bring you stories on monsters, aliens, ghosts and anything we fancy. We will not tell you to believe or disbelieve of course, we will just hope you are entertained.

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