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The Misery Pill - Unhappiness, Depression and Arse Dribble In A Single Tablet
We have reported extensively both here and at the original Boggart Blog on the plague of obesity and the scourge of arse dribble that punishes those who seek a quick remedy in fat busting drug. Now the pharmeceutical indusrty has gone one better and created a pill that not only causes arse dribble, it makes people depressed as well.

The Misery Pill - Obesity, Depression and Arse Dribble
by Ian R Thorpe
2008-06-29
CREATIVE COMMONS: Attribute, non commercial, no derivs.
KEYWORDS: gordon brown, labour, prime minister, downing street, movie, television, satire, humour, humor

The latest magic pill promoted by the Pharmaceutical industry, a simple, no dieting cure for obesity marketed as Acomplia, has been proved to cause depression and suicidal feelings.

This is a double whammy for folks who think they can solve their problems without changing their lifestyle, it means the same people who made you fat by adding saturated fats and sugar to junk food to make it palatable are now planning to make you unhappy too.

You may think the new anti – obesity pill is a disaster for the industry, given the track record of instant slim medicines, previous remedies have included among their side effects depression, heart failure, high blood pressure, addiction and arse dribble - a condition we have reported extensively in these pages.

But forget all that. The new pill is in fact a marketing triumph. Let's think it through. Why do people get fat?

They eat lots of pizza, ice cream, burgers, chocolate, fries, cakes, ice cream, fried banana sandwiches, Chinese takeaways and more ice – cream, not necessarily in that order.

Why do people eat lots of pizza, ice cream, burgers, chocolate, fries, cakes, ice cream, fried banana sandwiches, Chinese takeaways and more ice – cream?

Because they hate themselves for being fat.

Does eating lots of pizza, ice cream, burgers, chocolate, fries, cakes, ice cream fried banana sandwiches, Chinese takeaways and more ice – cream make them happy?

No.

So what do they do?

They comfort eat, stuffing themselves with lots of pizza, ice cream, burgers, chocolate, fries, cakes, ice cream fried banana sandwiches, Chinese takeaways and more ice – cream.

Does that help them?

No, they get fstter and hate themselves more.

So if these people, and there are a lot of them out there could get a pill to make them slim would they be happy?

They'd be delighted.

And if the pill makes them slim but unhappy?

They would seek comfort elsewhere as unhappy people do.

And wheret do unhappy people seek comfort? They go to the 'fridge and reach for the ice-cream, chocolate or cake or order a pizza or Chinese takeaway. With an extra large portion of ice-cream to follow.

Acomplia is not the work of an incompetent pharmacist but the brainchild of a marketing genius.

BTW Acomplia causes arse dribble too

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Science and Technology MenuFull menu of our medicine and health, technology and natural sciences posts.
The Stools Of SatanAnother American evangelist has heard the voice of the Lord. This one was told his mission was to warn the faithful against the deadly sin of gluttony. Fat and fried food are sinful, ice cream is the tool of Beelzebub and Pizza positively demonic Letting the devil enter their digestive tract is a one way ticket to hell. Christian must be ever vigilant lest they find their bottoms passing The Stools Of Satan (or arse dribble to you and me)...
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< class="relate" HREF="starve_and_live_longer.shtml">Starve And Live LongerNew scientific research advises us to starve ourselves if we want to live longer. But is it as usual just a case of you will not actually live longer, being permanently hungry on your calorie free, fat free, pizza and ice cream free diet will just make it seem so.

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