Boggart Blog Central

The Certainty Of Arse Dribble
Anal incontinence will get you sometime, not just in old age thanks to the zeal of health science waging war on the obesity pendemic. New anti obesity drugs that stop the body absorbing fat have among their side effects arse dribble. So take you choice, either eat less and get more exercise, settle for being overweight and bugger your health or accept the arse dribble of liquid shit as the price of your self indulgence.

The Certainty of Arse Dribble.
by Ian R Thorpe
CREATIVE COMMONS: Attribute, non commercial, no derivs.
KEYWORDS: alli,arse dribble, drug, obesity, weight loss, fat, health, obese, gas , satire, bad, dubious, taste, humour, humor

It used to be said there are only two things in life we can be certain of, death and taxes. To that can now be added a third because you can be certain Boggart Blog, in our unrelenting determination to get to the bottom of things will return to the subject of arse dribble at least once a month.

Our regular readers may have already observed that arse-dribble usually crops up in these columns when the subject of anti – obesity drugs hits the headlines.

Sure enough, sales figures released by Smith Kline Beecham show that its anti-obesity pill Alli is enjoying a phenomenal run of success. In just five weeks since its launch Alli has clocked up $155million in sales in spite of negative reviews prompted by its most unfortunate side effects, bloating, gas, oily stools and “anal leakage” to use the polite term.

Alli has not been launched in Europe yet as licences are being withheld by the EU pending further investigation of the underwear of users. Also, the name might be a problem considering its similarity to French, Italian and Spanish words for garlic.

Now what puzzles us about the runaway success of Alli in the US market is that so many Americans are concerned enough about obesity to be prepared to tolerate the socially embarrassing consequences of taking the drug but not concerned enough to stop stuffing themselves with pizza, pork scratchings, apple pie with ice cream, fried chicken, ribs, burgers (all on the same plate you understand) pancakes with cream and Maple syrup and other foods consisting mainly of deep fried lard.

What else puzzles us is that the directions for using the drug which is available over the counter, state clearly that it is only effective as an aid to weight loss when used in conjunction with a low fat diet and regular exercise.

WHAT??? For fucks sake Americas, your society invented snake oil salesmen, can you still not recognise them? Save your money, the low fat diet and exercise will do the job, dump the drug and see your social life improve and the need to change your guzzies six times a day disappear.

But wait, let’s not be too hard on Americans because not so long ago the fascist wing of the British Medical Association were floating suggestions that the entire population should be given fat buster drugs as a measure to combat the obesity epidemic. The want to medicate us all, even the anorexics, with arse dribble inducing drugs? I can see that going down like a lead ploppie with the millions of people who work out and eat salad. As well in fact a the proposal to put anti-depressants in the drinking water. But unfortunately, if governments can be persuaded such measures will save them money the plans will be adopted, the conformity police will be unleashed to bully us into believing that not taking our anti depressant arse dribble pills is as anti-social as having a smoke or a few drinks and only the strong minded will be spared the experience of having their intimate moments punctuated by squitty sounds.

The drug is gaining an army (well, a platoon) of fans however, and has even spawned a website www.myarsedribble – sorry, www.myalli.com Member, in the great American tradition of “sharing the experience” are invited to describe their “TEs” (treatment effects) in graphic detail.

One writes of his horror on changing into casual clothes after work and finding “pizza oil” on the back of his work pants. Another tells how she experienced “the worst case of gas ever” while browsing in a Hallmark Cards shop.

“I had to keep moving from aisle to aisle so nobody would know it was me,” she reports. If we assume these emissions were silent then obviously the writer was not aware of the quantum physics phenomenon that causes fart gas to follow its creator.

Bottom gravy and bad smells are only the outwardly apparent side effects of Alli. The drug works by blocking the effects of the lipase enzymes that work in the digestive system, breaking down fats. Thus much of the fat we eat passes straight through, and with it those essential nutrients that are dissolved in fat. These include vitamins A, D, E, K and beta carotene.

And finally, to wrap up our case for the utter uselessness of Alli, the active substance of the drug, orlistat is only really effective if taken in 120milligram doses, three times a day. The tablets sold by SKB provide just 60 milligrams three times a day. So users get nothing but squits for their money.

We have to admit, this time Big Pharma have excelled themselves. They have created a drug that has no benefits (except to corporate profits) many negative effects, the worst of which is having to wear adult nappies, lacks even a placebo – effect benefit and even if it did work would only add its unpleasant side effects to what could be achieved by natural means.

A resounding triumph for medical science all told.


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There are still some segments of society hung up on the issue of ending cannabis prohibition due to an unfounded fear that the seed-bearing plant is somehow a “gateway drug” that leads to a life of vice and crime. But the real gateway substances that we should all be worried about, and perhaps the ones with the most negative impact on society, are pharmaceutical drugs, and

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Your Shit Is Unique: More Shit Science From The No Shit Sherlock School Of ScienceScience is always looking for new worlds to explore, final frontiers to cross. We have reported on many branches of sciene, mouse, hockey stick, crocoldile and other but none more unappealing thaty the universe that exists up you arse. Now science has taken a great leap up the arse of humankind to explore the life of the shit uinverse and its many unique and individual life forms...
The Misery Pill: Unhappiness and Arse DribbleWe have reported extensively both here and at the original Boggart Blog on the plague of obesity and the scourge of arse dribble that punishes those who seek a quick remedy in fat busting drug. Now the pharmeceutical indusrty has gone one better and created a pill that not only causes arse dribble, it makes people depressed as well.
Five A DayA recent survey on our understanding of a portion of fruit and veg shows that 25% of the surveyed adults thought orange squash counted as a portion of fruit. A can of Tango must count as two portions then. Add a portion of lemon meringue pie and you're almost there! Somehow we supect Nanny State's nagging about the health benefits of five a day ae falling on deaf ears
Another Hogwash Breakthrough
Bleep Test For Pupils
Britain's Biggest Gobshite
Calorie Offsetting
Cheaper Drugs Now
Career In Substance Abuse
Keep Health Out Of Politics
Who Wants To Live Forever
Stools Of Satan
New Olympians
The Certainty Of Arse Dribble
Diet Pills That Work - It's Arse Dribble
Boys Games
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In a worrying echo of antisocial behaviour by Muslim immigrants at Swedish music festivals throughout the summer it has been reported that five women were sexually assaulted by a gang of young Muslim asylum seekers in Germany. Police say the migrants threatened to beat the women with beer and champagne bottles ...

TTIP - This so -called free trade deal is a full-frontal assault on democracy
The purpose of the Transatlantic Trade and Investment Partnership (TTIP) is not so much as to remove tariffs and other protectionist devices as to remove the regulatory differences between the US and European nations. And that is quite significant for us as British and E.U. comsuper protection, fair trade, environment and employment laws have always tried to strike a balance between the interests of consumers, workers and business.

If This Does Not Disqualify Hillary For The Presidency, It's Hard To Know What Will
Even the conservative Wall Street Journal is waking up to the massive deception that is being perpetrated on voters by the American political establishment, media and judiciary. Unfortunately the around half or the voters seem to be willingly complicit in this deception. In fact the USA collectively appears capable of a level of cognitive dissonance on an unprecedented scale in relation to the crimes and corrupt practices of Hillary Clinton ...

Smart Phones Will Not Make Banking Safer
Yet the war on cash goes on. The latest move is to encourage people to use their smartphone to do their online banking. My first reaction on reading this was, "They're having a laugh aren't they?" laptops and tablets are ridiculously easy to hijack, smartphones don't even need to be hacked, like tired old slappers whose sexual allure has gone south, but who still crave attention, they will offer themselves without needing to be asked.

Hillary Clinton's Oh Shit Moment. How The Candidate Wiped Her Server With BleachBit Despite Subpoena

In the USA ignoring a subpoena can have similar consequences. But increasingly throught the developed world we are finding the law does not apply to everybody equally. The story of how Hillary's "personal" emails came to be deleted using, the now infamous, BleachBit, even after a subpoema had been issued requiring the Democratic Party candidate to hand over certain documents relating to her time as Secretary of State is quite the tale.

Top Academic: Muslims Would Not Tolerate Multiculturalism in Islamic Countries
Leading Iranian academic Afshin Ellian has warned that cultural Marxist delusions of “multiculturalism” are a one-way street as left wing activist in the secular Christian nations of the west clamour for appeasement of Islamic extremists. Muslims in Europe oppress historic minorities in their own lands and have no intention of showing “tolerance”

Can Americans Overthrow The Evil That Rules Them?
The anti - establishment, anti - globalisation mood that manifested itself in the Brexit vote is sweeping across Europe, the cosy government - corporate cartel is desperately trying to control the narrative, but against the combined strength of millions of new media commentators all challenging the official; narrative, the dark forces of globalism are on the back foot.

Swedish Commentator: Migrants Enforcing Sharia Law, Bill Clinton ‘Evil’ For Wishing Same On U.S. Swedish writer and news commentator Ingrid Kristina Carlqvist, speaking on an internet radio station, said that Islamists and migrants "have already succeeded in introducing Sharia law to Sweden". Speaking to Breitbart London Editor-in-Chief Raheem Kassam, she explained that, because Swedish girls are becoming afraid to go to certain places where there have been rapes and attacks, key tenets of Islamic law are effectively being enforced.

The Difference In Voting For Hillbillary or Trump Is Only One Promises War With Russia
Essential reading for our american readers who must soon decide who they want as their next president. Important too for non Americans who cannot influence the outcome of the election but are entitled to know why their arses might be blown from here to eternity sometime in the next few years.

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