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Face It: Eating Shite Makes You Fat And Ill
Governments are worried that we as a nation are getting too fat. Bigger ambulances and bigger prison cells are needed. They blame the public for lack of self control. But we are being brainwashed by advertisinf and the food industry into eating toxic chemicals that make us gain weight. Hilreious comedy rant.

Face It: Eating Shite Makes You Fat And Ill
by Ian R Thorpe
2011-02-05
CREATIVE COMMONS: Attribute, non commercial, no derivs.
KEYWORDS: food, health, fat, obese, chemicals, toxic, hospital, ambulance, bacon, egg, sandwich, television, advertising, satire, humour, humor

There has been a lot of talk this week about how fat we (as a nation) are getting. The ambulance service say they are having to order vans with wider doors, reinforced beds and lifting gear (same as the kit on bin wagons we hope) to cope with the number of hugely huge gutbuckets (not a lot of sympathy here) who are getting sick. Prisons say they are finding obese prisoners sentenced to jail for stealing junk food are too big to fit into standard cells. Bus companies are running at a loss because passengers demand a double seat for a single fare. And riding schools are complaining that once they used to get young professionals who would take the mobile phone and filofax along to their riding lessons because they were trying to ride two horses with one arse but now two horses aren't enough to support one arse. We're getting bigger. Nudger Cameron has been asking his Big Society (no pun intended) (OK, I'm lying) why this is. Boggart Blog can tell him without need for an expensive social survey. We are eating too much shite made from chemicals. For the first time last night I saw an ad for a new food product that promises a quick, no fuss bacon and egg sarnie. Only it's not is it? It might be no fuss but it's also no bacon and no egg. Instead you get chemicals. What you buy is slices of bread impregnated with bacon flavoured chemicals and egg flavoured chemicals. You take it out of the expensive and ecologically hostile packaging and pop it in the toaster. Two minutes later you have a bacon and egg flavored slice of toasted chemicals. What's the betting it tastes as much like a bacon and egg sandwich as BBQ beef flavoured crisps taste like a char grilled filet steak. But you eat it because it does say on the packaging it's tasty. And the chemicals are addictive. So you eat another. And another. And some fish and chip flavoured crisps. And some jam roly poly with custard flavoured instant dessert. And the chemicals are not only addictive, they are toxic and make you retain water. So you become a bloater. But still you want to eat more chemicals because they promise they will taste so good you forget about the metallic, monosodiumglutimaey aftertase that lingers for days. And before you know it you are being carted off in a supersize ambulance to the "Too Fat To Wipe" ward at the local hospital where you are admitted through the goods entrance on a fork lift truck. When I read articles in a certain type of newspaper predicting the end of civilisation as we know it I take them with a pinch of salt (natural sea salt of course) But I wonder if I should read them more seriously. If our humanity has been so degraded by the advertising industry we would rather eat chemicals than take the trouble to knock up a delicious bacon and egg sarnie we are well and truly fucked. RELATED POSTS:
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Are you one of these "new technology rejecters"? Apparently you will be given such a label soon if you don't want GMOs or nanoparticles in your food, just as those who ask can the 1.6% contributed by human activity of the carbon dioxide that makes up 0.025% of the atmosphere really be the sole cause of the changes in our climate which has been constantly changing for millions of years before men first stood erect.

New GMO Approval Will Go Ahead Despite Public Outcry.

Corporate monopoly men and control freak politicians, aided by their Dr. Death scientists are determined to force genetically modified (GM) foods on an very sceptical public. If there was any truth in the claims that GM crops can feed the world and are safe, the public would not be sceptical, but the genetically engineered organisms now being developed are modified to be resistant to highly toxic chemicals to which humans and animals have no resistance.

Astrophysicist Declares GMOs Safe - Is Demolished By A Biologist.
The GMO battle goes on, one one side the corporate funded, government backed, global government supporting science lobby, on the other the part of the biological research community that still believes in hostesty, integrity and objectivity, supported by the masses of ordinary punters who support common sense solutions and whose suspicion of big money science is based on its track record of disaster, catastrophe and unforeseen consequences. Say no to GMO.

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The push to impose genetically modified foods on us all is stalling, it hasn't failed yet, the greedy and corrupt politicians and the science whores who will seel their arses for a research grant are still collabourating with Corporate businesses to bullt the public. But the more the fascists bully, the more obdurate We The People become. So now the shits are trying to destroy small, independent farmers so we will ot have any choice about eating their toxic shit.

UK Government Collaborating With The GM Biotech Sector To Get Toxic GM Shite Introduced Into Britain.We have already witnessed allegedly democratic governments collaborating with corporate pirates to the detriment of citizens best intertests, now we are seeing it again. As a moutain of evidence stacks up to confirm that concerns about the safety of genetically modified organisms (GMOs) and showing claims of increased crop yilds to be exaggerated, politicians with financial links to the biotech companies are queueing to spout corporate propaganda an support of this toxic shite.

Kentucky Fried Chicken? It's Nose Pickin' GoodThe latest incredible breakthrough in low fat diets, not that saturated fats have been given the all clear and many 'healthy options' branded killers, is a range of products that will please the airitarians, those dangerous loonys who believe humans can survive on air alone. The Kentucky Fried Chicken scented candle will not nourish you but hey, they're nose pickin' good.
Banning Words Like "Fatty" Is Not Being Caring And Nice, It's Fascism By StealthThe more desperate the Thought Police get because they see the tide in society not just tuining against their stupid, politically correct agenda but becoming a torrent, the more loony their ideas get. The latest Loonytoons notion is to ban the use of terms like fatty and speccy-four-eyes and introduce body image and self esteem classes in schools. Pupils who offend can then join the 80,000 kids, some as young as four, who are on the racism register for crimes as serious as calling a black child velcro - head.
Bansturbators Hidden Agenda - Abolish Meat To Make Way For Grey Goo.The bansturbators of Nanny State and the neo-Fascists of the New World Order are set on devivering us into the Brave New World promised a hured years ago by those who decided democracy would have to be superseded by a scientific dictatorship. Replacing natural meat in our diets with stuff made from grey goo grown in laboratories is the latest item on their agenda to go public.
Pasty Wars: Osborne's War On Pies Is War On The NorthThere is a growing cultural gap in Britain. When hapless Cancellor George Osborne delivered his budget for 2012 the effete southern media tried to stip up a controversty about the so called ganny tax. But here in the nothern heartlands, the true England, what pissed us off was Osborne's attempt to tax our hot pies.
Latest Fear and Panic Strategy: They Tell Us We Are All Going To Starve

Have you noticed it has all gone a bit quiet on climate change? After all that screaming and shouting from politicians and scientists it turns out the science was never settled. So now they need to spread fear and panic about something else. Guess what ... Food. We are all going to starve if we do not obey The New World Order. Who says? Statistics say and we all know statistics never lie don't we? A must read for independent minded people.

Salt Health Risk - A Pinch Of Doubt
Remember we were told "ythe science is settled" on climate change and carbon dioxide - only it wasn't. Well here's another scientific scam. You know how we are always hearimg how salt in our diet is a major health risk? Well how come we never hear of the food scientists whose studies show it isn't. Here's how another science scam was pulled on us.

Scientists And Politicians Attack The Food We Love, But Is It Science Or Just Control Freakery
A sustained campaign of misinformation by politicians, scientists, bureaucrats and the media have tried to brand fat and salt as the twin demons of the modern diet. Both however are essential to our wellbeing. So what are the bureaucrats, government and science lobby up to. What is the politics of food fascism. Are they just behaving as control freaks must or are they softening us up for extra taxes and government regulation of our dinner plates and the food we eat.

Acohol Abuse Will Kill 250,000 A Year Unless Governmnt Acts say Control Freak Doctors
The Health fascists have been out in force this week. With reports on the dangers of alcohol, meat, salt and obesity published our resistance is being tested. The Daily Stirrer is on your side whether you like a drink, a bit of meat, a sprinking of salt on your food or you are a shade overweight. We are always happy to expose the dodgy scence and rigged evidence behind theses control freak fear and panic exercises.

We Must Let Darwinism Do Its Work.
Most of us in the UK believe in Darin's evolution principle, survival of the fittest or best adapted. It is a wonderful system that created all the wonders of the animal and plant world. Left to itself evolution will ensure the survival of life long into the future. So why do we keep trying to screw it up by preserving the lives of those who because of stupidity or incompetence do not deserve to live and should be stopped from breeding.
Safety First, Second and Third, Fun Last.
The politically correct thought police and their health and safety cohort are tireless in their efforts to ensure you are never ever at risk from anything, especially the risk of having fun.
Uptight - The Blood Donor ExperienceOnce upon a time giving blood was easy, the atmosphere relaxed and people were encouraged to feel as is they were doing something good and worthwhile. Now, acording to fatsally's latest experience, a visit to the blood bank to offer a life saving armful is like The Prisoner meets Orwell's Big Brother. Bureaucracy has taken over and nobody is allowed to feel relaxed. Rules are rules.
by fatsally

Your Shit Is Unique: More Shit Science From The No Shit Sherlock School Of Science Science is always looking for new worlds to explore, final frontiers to cross. We have reported on many branches of sciene, mouse, hockey stick, crocoldile and other but none more unappealing thaty the universe that exists up you arse. Now science has taken a great leap up the arse of humankind to explore the life of the shit uinverse and its many unique and individual life forms...
British TeethOur American friends like to make jokes about British teeth. They might be more sympathetic towards our desire to keep our natural teeth if they knew the history of British dentistry since the formation of the National Health Service.
Alcohol AwareThe government has launched one of those nanny state campaigns to raise public awareness of alcohol. This Boggart Blog in depth report finds the public don't need their awareness raising, they know all they ned to know about every kind of booze on the market and drink what they like best...
Blood Bank Toxic DeptIs the Blood Bank, the National Health Blood Transfusion Service, run by the same bankers whose speculation in toxic debt brought down the financial system. One might be forgiven for thinking so on the evidence of the penny pinching, profit first, service second way the unit is being run
Drugs OnlineOne of the few growth industries is the selling of fake prescription drugs online. So long as the drugs sold as viagra, vallium, ritalin etc are just sugar pills there is no harm done. It's when people buy the real thing the trouble starts...
Five a DayPower may well corrupt but it certainly removes those who hold it from reality. So as Gordon Brown squats in Downing Street hoping that a bizarre sequence of events will lead to him staying on as Prime Minister one cannot help but think The Gordon Show is turning into a Truman Show type movie fantasy
Keep Health Out Of PoliticsHave those government sponsored health scares about fats, alocohol, chocolate and ciggies ever got up your nose? No? They would if you knew the special advisors dreamed them up over brandy and cigars after a jolly good lunch.
Who Wants To Live ForeverNever a week and scarecely a day goes by without the latest shot in the wannabe global government's campaing of fear and panic being fired at us ordinary folk. It will relate to health, drink, drugs, diet or smoking. The lastest on the British front in this war on reality is a warning that air pollution in casusing 55,000 early deaths a year
The Misery PillWe have reported extensively both here and at the original Boggart Blog on the plague of obesity and the scourge of arse dribble that punishes those who seek a quick remedy in fat busting drug. Now the pharmeceutical indusrty has gone one better and created a pill that not only causes arse dribble, it makes people depressed as well.
Starve And Live LongerSo we are now being told we can live much longer, be healthier and save the NHGS and the government loads of money if we live on the verge of starvation. And who has this crackpot therory been tested on? You guessed it, mice.
POETRY:
Breakfast In Bed - Hot, Buttered Toast

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