Jenny Greenteeth
Oi Canada; Get Orf Our Laaand! by
Ian Thorpe
Humour /Humour /Satire/education/ Britain
For years employers and concerned parents have complained that school examinations are getting easier. Politically correct thinking among education academics aims to eliminate failure. But have new plans gone a step too far. The plan which proposes taking into account the emotional state of the pupil rather than marks being pased on the quality of the answers would be open to abuse by wily pupils this article suggests.

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The Lazy Pupil's Examination Aid.

Ian R Thorpe
2005-05-11

NOTE: Some people may find this in bad taste.

In my school days, admittedly more years ago than I care to remember, trying to justify the non - delivery of homework projects with the excuse "please Sir, the dog ate it," was not exactly fresh and original but was still guaranteed to raise a ripple of laughter from classmates. Now of course it is a tired and lame excuse used as a last resort only by the terminally dull - witted. Family pets have advanced in status so much they can actually make a positive contribution to academic achievement.

Britain's leading examination boards announced this week that results may be upgraded if it is know that the candidate has suffered an emotionally distressing experience in the run up to the exam. Qualifying experiences include death of a parent or sibling (5% upgrade) parent or sibling being diagnosed with a serious illness (5%) death of a distant relative (3%) a broken limb within 48 hours (3%) a broken limb on the mend (2%) - this throws a whole new light on the theatrical expression of encouragement "break a leg" - and so on, with the death of Fido or Tiddles weighing in at 2% if it happens within 48 hours of the exam or 1% between to days and a week prior. Monty Python fans will be emotionally distressed to learn that the death of a parrot warrants nothing.

A spokesperson for one of the examination boards responding to criticism that the scheme is politically correct mollycoddling of the young said that the maximum upgrade had been set at 5% in order to discourage abuse of the system. As she does not say whether the upgrades will be cumulative I fear the bureaucrats have once more underestimated the ingenuity of ordinary punters. Consider the possibilities in a literature examination

QUESTION: In Shakespearean tragedy the downfall of the main character is often a result of a failure to address obvious flaws in his own character. Discuss this with particular reference to Hamlet and Macbeth.

ANSWER: Both Hamlet and Macbeth areOh GOD! WHAT IS THE POINT? Why should I sit this exam when with a bare bodkin I could my quietus make. Who cares about qualifications and careers. Life is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. Shakespeare's tragedies? Are there not enough tragedies in the real world. To write or not to write that is the question, when all our yesterdays have lit the way of fools to dusty death.

Only yesterday my beloved Labrador Bonzo shuffled off this mortal coil when a car, driven by my uncle Jim, mowed him down. Jim did try to avoid Bonzo but lost control of the car and perished himself when he hit a wall.

I felt guilty about having let Bonzo off the leash and rushed to cradle the poor dogs noble head as he breathed his last. When the paramedics led me away I noticed my hands were covered in blood. "Will all Neptune's great ocean was clean the blood from this my hand I cried out.
Just then my mobile phone rang. It was my mother calling from the hospital to tell me she had been diagnosed with terminal cancer and within six months would be heading for that unexplored country from in whose bourne no traveller returns.

In a perfect world I would be able to turn for comfort to my Dad, a virtuous man, but as it says in Hamlet, Act 2 Scene 2 "Virtue itself 'scapes not calumnious strokes and Dad has been paralysed these three years.

I asked my sister, a Goth to let me have some of her downers. Each man is but a poor player who frets and struts his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more I said.

"But in that sleep of death what dreams may come, she quipped rather wittily in the circumstances just before she fell downstairs and broke her leg.

Then I heard a terrible sound coming from the kitchen and rushed in just in time to see poor Tiddles choke to death on a furball.
I tried to sleep last night, for after all, we are such stuff as dreams are made of, our little lives are rounded with a sleep.

But what will it avail me if I pass this examination. There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamed of in your philosophy Mr. Examination Marker.

And if you add it all up that should be worth a pass.



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The Scottish Independence debate has failed so far to fire passions north of the border. Most Scots seem to be seeking evidence that Scotland will be no worse off as an independent nation, or is and will continue to be better off as part of the UK. Nobody in either London or Edinburgh is able to give a straight answer however. Her's our contribution ...

How Politically Correct Thinking Leads Into A Moral Maze
Being a leftie can be hard work however, with so many of the causes they must embrace being in direct opposition to other favoured causes, lefties encounter a lot of moral dilemmas. So being a believer in all -isms, the kind of idiot who equates calls for immigration controls with South African Apartheid or Stalinist genocide and is quite sure that equality means members of favoured minorities should be given me the privileged status of an elite class, can get hairy at times.

Another Obama Sponsored Genocide - not Alawi or Christians In Syria but Yazidi in Iraq.
While the west has been distracted by events in Gaza and Ukraine, and the neo - fascist 'left' have suddenly discovered the joys of anti Russianism and anti Semitism, the FUKUS axis sponsored genocidists of ISIS have discovered another inoffensive minority to exterminate now that the Syriac Christians have fled.

Neo - fascist Left's Idiotic Obsession With Racism Becoming More Insane
I don't know how many of you have noticed but the wailing and gnashing of teeth from the politically correct left over imaginary racism has become fr moire irrational and hysterical since the success of UKIP the the European Parliament elections back in May. The latest entirely innocent thing to be the target of racism accusations from the insane left is BBC Radio's sedate gardening programme Gardeners World. How have the cucumers and compost brigade upset the loony left?

Fear and Panic and Ebola Fever
The latest attempt to justify war has been the shooting down of Malaysia Airlines flight MH17 over Ukraine allegely by pro Russia separatists with support from The Kremlin. So far the 'compelling evidence' the American government claimed to possess has not been revealed but such evidence as has been seen points to another false flag even. Remember the Swine Flu pandemic?They're doing it again with Ebola fever, ramping up the scare factor and trying to spread enough fear and panic to justify suspending democratic rule by pretending this disease could potentially kill most of us.

Afrophilia and the reality of western ambitions in Africa
One of the dogmas of this politically correct cult of knee jerking, lockstep marching, wisdom-of-the-crowd chanting flock of Sheeple is that we must love Africa. Dark skin good, pale skin bad is the mantra. That the sheeple are nothing more than gullible dupes and useful idiots to the faceless men and women who really lead us is shown by the contrast between the mass Afrophilia of the flock and the way the controllers see Africa.

FUKUS axis imposes sanctions, Russian Oligarchs Shrug
So far in the Libyan crisis, the Syria crisis, the Iraq crisis and the Ukraine crisis, Obama and the European leaders have made a lot of noise and imposed a lot of meaningless sanctions (like confiscating the bus passes of retired Russian gengsters living in the west. And the Russians have just quietly got on with doing what they were doing.

What are US biowar researchers doing in the Ebola zone?
What are US biowar researchers doing in the Ebola zone? That is a question being asked around the cyberosphere as the Ebola outbreak in Africa continues to spread and alarm grows in the western nations. The Tulane University researchers [and colleagues] in the US biowarfare research community, have been operating in West Africa for some time. What exactly have they been doing? Exactly what diagnostic tests have they been performing on citizens of Sierra Leone?

Mass Immigration Means Failing Hospitals, Schools And Overcrowded Cities
Another shock for the left as think tank Civitas reports that mass immigration causes enormous social and economic problems while the 'benefits' to society the left bang on about are very marginal. The left's real agenda of course is the genocide of the fair skinned races. As most of these stupid lefties are white Europeans or Americans this is a perfect illustation of how stupid and self important they are, How does that old joke go about turkeys voting for Christmas?

Pandemonium: UKIP Taken Over By Fiends From Hell?
UKIP are at risk of being engulfed in another "ism" scandal as Jake Baynes, prospective parliamentary candidate for Wells has resigned his candiacy and party offices, claiming the constituency party has been taken over by "Occultists"

Ukraine Government Fires Missiles At Rebel Held Targets Leaders in Washington, London, Paris and Brussels continue to pump out the propaganda against Russia as they try to provoke a war over the alleged shooting down of Malaysia Airlines Flight MH17 over Ukraine by separatist rebels supported by Russia. But in spite of claims by Obama and Kerry that the US have evidence that proves it was the rebels wot done it, the more evidence we see, the more likely it looks that the Ukrain government in Kiew was responsible.

America's GDP Surges 4% in Quarter 2 - Jonathan Creek Shows How The Trick Is Done
This morning the US Bureau of Economic Analysis, an agency of the Commerce department revealed Q2 GDP statistics which blew made nonesense of estimates, showing year on year growth for the second quarter at 4.0%. This was explained as the result of a surge in Inventories and Fixed Investment, while exports added only 1.23% to the GDP number. The full breakdown by component is shown below.

Why Do The 'Progressive Left' Support Those Who Use Rape As A Weapon Of War
Rape as a weapon of war and genocide is not a pleasant subject but it is one that needs to be raise, like the issue of Female Genital Mutilation. Why visit such unpleasant topics? To expose the hypocrisy of the modern political left who have more in common with Hitler's Nazis, Mussolini's Fascist or Stalin's brutal Soviet regime that the supporters of traditional left wing values of individual freedom, free speech and equality before the law.

Why Do The 'Progressive Left' Support Those Who Use Rape As A Weapon Of War

Rape as a weapon of war and genocide is not a pleasant subject but it is one that needs to be raise, like the issue of Female Genital Mutilation. Why visit such unpleasant topics? To expose the hypocrisy of the modern political left who have more in common with Hitler's Nazis, Mussolini's Fascist or Stalin's brutal Soviet regime ...

FUKUS axis imposes sanctions, Russian Oligarchs Shrug
You have probably read a torrent of arse dribble in mainstream media about "Russia is becoming increasingly isolated" It's a meme that political leaders in the FUKUS axis, EU and NATO would like us to believe. It isn't quite the whole story however.

Sensational Break From Official Lies - German Aviation Expert Says MH17 Brought Down By Air To Air Missile
The shooting down of Malaysia Airlines flight MH17 over Ukraine has triggered a war of words between the USA / FUKUS axis and Russia as President Obama, without any clear evidence to support him, tried to blame Russia and use the outrage to justify a military intervention in Ukraine that would certainly start a major global conflict. So far Russia has stood its ground but refused to be provoked as evidence like that below has undermined the western narrative.

US wants WWIII because its big banks are insolvent: Henderson
An American author and columnist says the United States wants to start a third world war because most of its big banks are insolvent.
Dean Henderson with the Veterans Today made the remarks in a phone interview with Press TV on Monday as he commented on recent remarks made by White House Deputy National Security Advisor for Strategic Communications Ben Rhodes who said ...

Germany Axes Canada-EU Trade Agreement, This Will End TTIP Stitch Up Too
We are winning. Well today we are at least. News broke over the weekend that Germany intends to junk the Canada Europe Trade Agreement (CETA), a template for the much bigger and therefore more threatening to freedom and democratic rule Trans Atlantic Trade and Investment partnership (TTIP). So it looks as though the shockwave of the European Parlianment elections has awoken politicians to the anger of voters throughout Europe with the dicatatorial attitude of the EU.

Who shot down MH17? Black Box Data Reveals Nothing We Did Not Know
As the political and media war over responsibility for the shooting down of Malaysia Airlines flight MH17 continues, here's a chance to view a report put together by the BBC Russia news channel (In Russian with English subtitles). Strangely the Beeb have taken this report offline now. Make what you will of that. The video shows the handling of the Black Box flight recorders, which

Smart Homes Reveal User Behavior, Prone to Hacks:
Our Internet-driven world filled with interconnected smart gadgets and computing applications is making us vulnerable to potentially life-changing hacks and tracking. Not only are modern cars open to being hacked, but also boats, planes, and GPS-driven weapons.

Now Things Are Starting To Make Sense
It is now known that the uprising in Ukraine early this year that saw the elected government, which was cooperating far too well with Russia for the liking of the western powers overthrown and replaced by a US and EU sponsored gaggle of gangsters, thugs and neo - fascists whose task was to

Funny How A Few Days Good Weather Brings The Warmageddonists Out
Over the past few scorching hot days I have seen several members of the alomst defunct Warmageddonist society plugging their tired, discredited old "science" and trying to claim that mathematics proves that what is observably not happening is actually happening but only scientists are clever enough to understand that ... Hmm, is that so?

Military Veterans Opinion: Probably A Bomb That Took Down MH-17!
Funny how the left present themselves as the politics of peace and unity but are all out in support of Barack Obama's latest warmongering campaign in Ukraine following the downing of Malaysia Airlines flight MH17. I suppose the pacifists enthusiasm for World War Three proves George Orwell was right when he said War is Peace.

America's Dumbest Move Yet: Hijacking A Foreign Bank
The financial markets seem to be getting more volatile, with share prices and currency values fluctuating wildly on the slightest indication of good or bad news. But when central banks start hijacking other banks on the basis of very flimsy evidence from a pariah state, we should befinding somewhere safer for our money

UK Government Report Confirms Huge Abuse of EU Free Movement Rules
After scream of 'racists' and 'bigots' from the left when common sense users pointed out that mass immigration does not benefit the economy, nor is it fair to the people shiioped here having been promised a utopian existence only to find they are living in foul conditions, doing menial jobs, and being paid under minimum wage and exploited by unscrupulous bosses. , a report by civil servants confirms that the 'right wing extremists' was absolutely correct.

Malaysian Government and Opposition Call For MH17 Justice – Evidence Suggests Foul Play
Thanks to the sleazy political opportunism of Barack Hussein Obama and his bum boy David Cameron the tragedy of Malaysia Airlines flight MH17 has been turned into a circus as the outrageous accusations (based on zero evidence, the USA told reporters to look on Facebook if they wanted proof the Ukrain pro Russia separatists did it) have spawned increasingly crazy conspiracy theories.

Poor white pupils put off school by multicultural timetable
Education, should it be about learning to read, write, spell and calculate? Or should it be about feminism, gay rights, black history and 'gender awareness' whatever that is? For many years we have had multiculturalism and politically correct thinking rammed doiwn pupils throats but noe a study by a local education department suggests this obsession with politicallly corret diversity is responsible for the failure of white working class pupils.

Israel maybe guilty of war crimes – UN Human Rights Chief(This could be the understatement of the millennium)
Israel maybe committing war crimes in Gaza, the UN High Commissioner for Human Rights says. Speaking in Geneva, Navi Pillay said house demolitions and the killing of children raise the "strong possibility" that Israel is violating international law. Opening an emergency debate at the UN Human Rights Council in Geneva, she citied cases of Israeli air strikes and shelling hitting ...

Malaysia Airlines Flight MH17 - Nothing is ever what it seems to be
Nothing is ever what it seems to be, I learned that doing top level consultancy contracts for government departments. Deception is the name of the game. So what of Flight MH17, certainly the plane was shot down and our sympathies are with the families of the dead. But the game of finger pointing that followed was not about justice but political opportunism. And by playing a waiting game the Russsians are winning again.

US State Dept. Annoyed at Press Questioning MH17 Narrative Spokeswoman Angrily Refers Press to Social Media for 'Proof'
The Obama Administration continues to reiterate its narrative on what happened to Malaysia Airlines flight MH17 with more certainty (and often different details) every day, but there is a stark lack of evidence, beyond a handful of “authenticity could not be verified” images floating around on social media. With Russia denying the allegations, the US must have some really damning evidence to be so certain, right? Just so, insists the State Department, just don’t ask them to show any of it.

Obama Goes Full - On Nazi: with Europe, and it’s headlined on July 18th, “US Accused of Forcing EU to Accept Tar Sands Oil Trade
The secret negotiations around the 'New World Order' free trade treaties, TPP and TTIP that will strip democratically elected governments of sovereign power lumber on. There are positive signs however that the world is waking up to the neo Nazi nature of these sleazy so - called trade treaties cooked up by the Obama Andministration and some of the biggest and most evil corporate businesses in the world.

Diversity' Does Not Mean Quotas. Why Do The Left Have To Rewrite The Dictionary.
One might think, given the amount of screaming and shouting about diversity we hear from the left, they might take a little time to find out what it really means and stop applying their superficial and shallow meaning to it. The left however are hupocrites which is why they can claim to have a monopoly on truth and goodness while embracing the tactics of fascism in silencing opposition. Thus they have no problem reducing 'diversity' to a question of skin colour or sexual preference while insisting only one shade of opinion is acceptable.

What The Media Is Not Writing About Flight MH17
Only hours after the tragic downing of Malaysian Airlines flight MH17 over eastern Ukraine, Western politicians, led by the dickhead in chief Barack Hussein Obama were jumping up and down screaming "It was Russia wot done it." The sycophants in mainstream media were quick to join in, stating that ...

Whatever War Crimes Obama Accuses Russia Of You Can Bet America Has done It First.

World policitical leaders and media sycophants are lining up to condemn Russia for the dowing on Malaysia Airlines Flight MH17 over Ukraine. Here are a few snippets from our coverage:

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