Boggart Blog Central
(All the news that can possibly be made up)

Humour /Satire /Entertainment/Philosophy/Life
Humour, or humor if you must, is in limited supply in the world but if you are looking for laughter look no more. The Boggart Blog team bridge the generation gap, the gender divide and leap across the many dimensions of the multiverse to bring you a funny and sometimes crazy take on whatever is in the news plus a few things that are not. In the past decade trust in the media has diminished so you would be justified in asking "Can we trust Boggart Network News?" Well yes you can, we are proud to say we have never sacrificed a joke for the sake of the truth. Delve into Boggart Blog but be prepared to find yourself taking life less seriously.

Creative Commons: Some rights reserved (non commercial, attrib, no derivs.
All reproductions in whole or in part should link to Greenteeth Multi Media Productions


The Cheesemakers Of Outer Space

Adrenaline Junkies

Loonytoons By Election

Fuckwittery Of The First Order

Pretender To The Inheritance

Lembit Opik Hits Jupiter

The Moon Landing And The Earth Landing

Crusty Old Wives Tales Not So Unscientific

Swine Flu MP Misses Opportunity

Puffin Up The Power Of Technology

A Wing And A Cheap Ticket

A Rare Outbreak Of Sanity

Shagged Out Cyclists

Heather Mills McCartney On A Mission

Rat Arsed Badger

Scientists Have Not Made Sperm


Shock Revelation: Obama and Michael Jackson


Scary Willie Story

Career In Substance Abuse?

Talking Bollocks

Like A Ferret Up A Drainpipe

Benefit Fraud Psycho

Fear Of Soup Peacock Rescue

Life On Mars, A Guide To Modern Policing

It's The Sausages Stupid

The Apprentice Prime Minister

Will Labours Top Totty Topple Gordon?

Be Careful What You Wish For...

Knife Crime Is No Joke

It's Supergordon!

Britain's Got Talent Sensation!

800 On Waiting List For Death Clinic

Boycotting Britain's Got Talent

Sheep Burp, Cows Fart And The
Government Has Pie In The Sky

HMS Discovery: the BNP's Election Battleship?

You Mean It Wasn't True

Fat Cat or Fat Bastard

Alistair's Darling Buds Of
Recovery Vaporised In...?

Breakfast Cereal Killers

The Age Of Arse Dribble

Driving Tests Will Be The
Death Of Many

Kitchen nightmare

Sarky Sarko Slams
World Leaders

Britains Got Nutters

With Friends Like That...

Pink Elephants

Elephant Golf

What Is The Price Of A Pint?

G20: World Leaders Declare Open Season On Witches

Yellow Carded By His Own Petard.

Good to be English? Well
at least i'm not stupid.

The American View on
Michelle O's G20 Royal Gaffe

Boggart Network News
live from the G20.

Shock! Horror! Schools Teaching Filth

Woman gets pine cone
stuck in her vagina

Poverty Amazes Researchers

There's A Chink In Our Armour

Midnight basketball

Obama's Gift To The Taliban

The Apprentice Is Back

New Primary Curriculum? We Hate
To Twitter We Told You So

Of Freedom, Wind Farms, Thunderbird
Puppets and Social Taboos.


Full Marks (and Spencers) for
Wise Buys and Big Knickers.

But Some Of Us Are Looking At The Stars

Greenteeth Digital Piblishing

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Cancer expert says U.K. seeing spike in “non-covid deaths,” nobody willing to call out vaccine elephant in the room
Excess mortality in the United Kingdom is off the charts, and yet nobody is willing to call out Wuhan coronavirus (Covid-19) “vaccines” as the culprit. Cancer expert and Prof. Carl Heneghan describes the current situation in Great Britain as a “national scandal.” A shocking 9,300 more people than usual have died in the U.K. over the past several months, and officials are blaming everything else except the injections. Continue reading >>>

Throughout history there have been sports players who suffered from multiple conditions who have “collapsed” on the field during practice and during live games. However, a recent article from the German newspaper, Berliner Zeitung has highlighted an “unusually large” increase in the number of these collapses recently, leading to much speculation. Continue reading >>>

After a weekend of increasingly violent protests around Europe, similar to the one pictured above in London, against elitist plans to introduce new limitations on freedom, lockdowns and further steps towards compulsory vaccination (with a vaccine that does not immunise against a virus that makes very few people ill,) it is disappointing to see that in the US and UK, mainstream media is still doing its best to ratchet up the fear and panic ... Continue reading >>>

We Told You So - Government-funded Report Confirms World’s Largest offshore Wind Farm is UnprofitableA report commissioned by the Norwegian government has contradicted Boris Johnson’s recent claim that offshore wind costs have fallen by 70% in a decade. The report also blows a huge hole in Johnson's grandiose pledges to the COP26 conference that offshore wind power would propel Britain to its net - zero target for Carbon Dioxide emissions well before 2050, the target set by the climate conference for achieving that target.
Continue reading >>>

COVID-19 infections are surging in Germany, Austria, Netherlands, Czechia and Greece, with these countries and others returning to the kind of strict public health measures which have previously failed contain the spread of the 'deadly virus' that only kills people who are over a thousand years old and have dozens of pre - existing, potentially fatal conditions. Austria has gone so far as to enact a nationwide lockdown beginning Monday. 

Continue reading >>>

The Absurdity Of Vaccine Passports, Lockdowns and Segregating The UnvaxxedAfter reintroducing lockdowns from the beginning of this week in its two regions with the highest rates of COVID cases, Austria today became the first country in western Europe to reimpose a full, national lockdown which will start on Monday, November 22. The Austrial government is likely to be quickly joined by neighboring Germany, a statement from Berlin warned [...] Some commentators in Austrian capital Vienna were cynical enough to ask if the whole point of this latest escalation is justify more restrictions
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German Doctors Warn Of Terrible Chistmas, Advise New Lockdowns As Covid Cases Skyrocket
No surprise mayebe that Garman doctors and scientists are recommending more lockdowns and blaming the unvaccinated, these two professions have been the vanguard for global health tyranny for two years now. ...Continue reading >>>

Insulate Britain protesters jailed for defying an high court injunctionAnti-civilisation activists chant 'we are unstoppable, another world is possible', as police officers lead them from the court to the cells.
Continue reading >>>

The Betrayal Of Humanity By The Corrupt Medical Professions
From day one, back in March 2020 when the pandemic was declared, this blog has been questioning the fake statistics, highlighting the distortion of statistics to serve the scaremongering narratives of the elites and exposing the lies and dishonesty of politicians, sciencetitis (sic) and, surprisingly perhaps if you are of a credulous nature, doctors and the medical professions. ... Continue reading >>>

Austria Days Away From Imposing Lockdown On The "Shameful" Unvaccinated Says Chancellor SchallenbergAustria's globalist Chancellor Schallenborg said today that the government would shortly give the go-ahead for a lockdown of unvaccinated people, to be introduced in the two highest-incidence regions from Monday and possibly also nationwide [...] This would prevent people without proof of full vaccination or recovery from Covid-19 from leaving their homes except for essential reasons.
Continue reading >>>

Forget The Hype About COP26 Saving The Planet, Here's The Reality
Continue reading >>>

COP26 Climate Conference - Just Another Elitist Scam To Steal Your Money
If you are one of the people who still relies on mainstream media for information, the 'on - message' news reports coming from the COP26 Climate Conference in Glasgow this week, and during the build up to the conference, might have convinced you that the entire world (barring a few crazy conspiacy theorists,) is signed up to the 'net zero' agenda and believes that destroying the economies of the developed nations while exporting our jobs, business and prosperity to places like India and China is the only way to save the planet. Continue reading >>>

Algorithms Are No Better At Telling The Future Than Tarot Cards Or A Crystal Ball
According to a new report “An increasing number of businesses are investing in advanced technologies that can help them forecast the future of their workforce and gain a competitive advantage”. Almost every day we see more bollocks being written by supposedly intelligent people who believe that by using things called ‘Data Science’, ‘Artificial Intelligence,’ and ‘Big Data’, machines can already be relied on to make better decisions than humans, and that soon computers will equal or even surpass us in actual intelligence. ... Continue reading >>>

In A Fit Of Honesty Italian Institute Of Health Reduces Official COVID Death Toll By 97%
Italian newspaper Il Tempo has published a shock report, claiming that the country's Institute has reduced the official figure for the number of people who have died from COVID from 130,000 to under 4,000. This may surprise many people who bought into the "killer virus" narrative and unleashed torrents of pure hatred on those of us who declined vaccination, having studied the figure for reported "COVID related deaths," and the methodology used to arrive at that figure ... Continue reading >>>

Climate Hypocrites: 400 Private Jets Fly To Scotland For Save The Planet Climate ConferenceThe elitists currently gathered in Glasgow to yell at us about climate change and how we must all sit and shiver as energy prices go stratospheric or drive pimped up golf trolleys are just total hypocrites. These people who are flying in from all around the world to the COP 26 in their private jets and then motoring from the airport in motorcades of gas-guzzling limousines and SUVs are not here because they are concerned about the future but because they expect to shortly be making billions out of you and me from the new 'green' technologies being promoted as the fourth industrial revolution.
Continue reading >>>

Proof That The Alarmist Claptrap You Are Hearing And Seeing At COP26 Climate Conference Is A Load Of Bollocks
The Arctic ocean is warming up, icebergs are growing scarcer and in some places, the seals are finding the water too hot, according to a report to the Commerce Department yesterday from Consul Ifft, at Bergen, Norway. Reports from fishermen, seal hunters and explorers all point to a radical change in climate conditions in the Arctic zone. Expeditions report that scarcely any ice has been met with as far north as 81 degrees 29 minutes. Soundings to a depth of 3,100 meters showed the gulf stream still very warm ... Continue reading >>>

A newly published study from researchers in Sweden reveals that the immunity to COVID gained from vaccination, is dissipated by natural biological processes within months. Immunity, although it would be more honestly called temporary respite, from Wuhan coronavirus (Covid-19) injections is short term at best, and completely gone within months, this confirming the doubts raised by vaccine sceptics (or Conspiracy Theorists as mainstream media likes to call us Continue reading >>>

UK Energy Crisis Deepens as prices and demand skyrocket while supplies shrink to critical levels
It is ironic that in the week world leaders and flat faced Swedeish trolls are gathering in Glasgow for an orgy of virtue signalling that will inevitably drive millions of people in the developed world into fuel poverty and result in more industrial jobs being exported from the west to the world’s major produceres of Carbon Dioxide emissions, China and India, the energy crunch that is affecting the whole of Europe is about to hit the United Kingdom extremely hard. ... Continue reading >>>

Green dreams of Heat Pumps Continue reading >>>
When Boris Johnson revealed the UK Government plans for achieving 'net zero' carbon emissions by 2050 it emerged the much teased clean, green replacement for gas boilers as our main source of domestic heating is to be heat pumps. The Daily Stirrer counters the pseudo-scientific bollocks and reveals this 'new technology has been around for a hundred years.

Green dreams of Heat Pumps Continue reading >>>
When Boris Johnson revealed the UK Government plans for achieving 'net zero' carbon emissions by 2050 it emerged the much teased clean, green replacement for gas boilers as our main source of domestic heating is to be heat pumps. The Daily Stirrer counters the pseudo-scientific bollocks and reveals this 'new technology has been around for a hundred years.

Surge in Emergency Hospital Admissions from Vaccinated People Suffering Acute Organ FailureThe USA's taxpayer funded broadcaster National Public Radio (NPR) is claiming to be mystified by a siginficant increase in hospital emergency admissions across the United States but does not find the fact that these medical emergencies are all among people already vaccinated against COVID-19 and also all due to people experiencing symptoms consistent with the acknowledged side effects of the vaccines.
Continue reading >>>

Analyst Reports ‘Hundreds of Thousands’ of COVID Vaccine Injury Reports Backlogged in VAERSThe latest episode of “Doctors and Scientists” on CHD.TV, features regular host Brian Hooker, Ph.D., P.E., interviewing Jessica Rose, Ph.D., a Vaccine Adverse Event Reporting System (VAERS) analyst and computational biologist who specializes in biomathematics and molecular research. OK, I know this publication does not have much time for mathematical modelling, but that is because so much of it is obviously rigged to support propaganda narratives. We will always give an honest scientist a fair hearing even if we do not agree with their contribution to debate.
Continue reading >>>

Goodbye Freedom, Hello Global Governance.
If at any time during the chaos the past eighteen months you have wondered what kind of idiots are running the world and have gleefully trashed economies, disrupted social and commercial life and stripped citizens of their rights and liberties only to bring us, in late October 2021, right back to where we were in late February 2020 when the words pandemic and COVID crept into our consciousness ...Continue reading >>>

SStarmer Outs Himself As More Fascist Than Boris Bonkers or Dementia Joe Biden
The leader of the UK’s official opposition party, Labour, Sir Kier SStarmer after a year of starring in a remake of The Invisible Man has finally decided to let us see who he is. Responding to remarks made by Home Secretary Priti Patel, SStarmer said education authorities should be allowed to use exclusion orders to stop anti-vaccine activists from protesting outside schools ... Continue reading >>>

We need a referendum on net zero to save Britain from the green blob

from The Daily Telegraph
As with membership of the EU, the political elite is imposing a revolution on the public without consent. Does the blob never learn? Voters don’t like being treated like naughty children

Prof. Pilmer Is Going To Piss Off Boris, Biden, Bill Gates, theflat faced Swedish mini9 troll and the rest of the green Nazis
Professor Ian Plimer blew the! whistle on the human driven climate change scam a while ago. Search the web and, of course, you will find plent of left wing websites including some 'fact checkrs' claiming his volcano theory has been debunked. The problem there is that the far left 'Church of Sciencology Cult' likes to rewrite the dictionary in order to make is attempt to discredit anyone who opposes its ideological approach to everything look credible. If you've read Plimer's book you will agree; this is a good summary.

Europe's Energy Crisis Exposes Green Fraud
Vladimir Putin has been celebrating the recent and much reported European energy crisis, knowing that withouout his doing anything, thanks to the obsessive pandrering to Greta Thunberg and the green lobby political leaders ion the UK and EU member states Russia has been handed control of European markets, with the option of manipulating supply chains and prices at the same time. In the meantime the European nations have failed to sufficiently diversify supply.

Anyone Who Fancies A Bet Will Be Put On A Register, Just Like Sex Offenders.
In another signal that Boris Johnson's government has sold out to globalist ambitions and is lurching headlong towards fascism, The Information Commissioner’s Office has announced that as part of their pursuit of a Single View of the Customer (SVoC), they plan to create a database in which all “behavioural data” of people who enjoy a bet ...

Nine Scottish schools tell pupils to pay for lunch via FACIAL RECOGNITION as Scottish Nazi Party normalizes surveillance stateNine Scottish schools chosen to a pilot plan to introduce facial recognition technology for verification of children's school lunch payments, have launched this flagship policy of the governing Scottish Nationalis Party, claiming the system is faster and more hygienic, while failing to respond to critics who have raised the privacy issue posed by such intrusive technology ... Continue reading >>>

Dont Dictate To Us On Human Rights, Justice Secretary Raab Tells EU
Justice Secretary Dominic Raab told the Conservative Party Conference last month Boris Johnson had given him the task of rewriting the The Human Righrs Act when he moved him from the Foreign Office in September’s reshuffle. This week Raab revealed details on how he plans to block interference from Strasbourg in British matters as part of his remit.

Globalist Elites Now Pushing For Lockdowns Save You From Climate Change
Elite globalists are now proposing that lockdowns be imposed to protect us punters from climate change. Did we ask for this? Did we vote for this?

I will get hate mail now': Lord Robert Winston backs professor in trans row saying 'you can't change sex'
After making controversial comments on transgender issues during his appearance on BBC television's Question Time last night, biologist and science broadcasdter Lord Robert Winston said today he fears he will be the subject of hate attacks from trans activists and the 'woke' brigade. Winston, not for the fgirst time, publicly backed a fellow academic scientist who triggered the trans - hate mob last wek by saying people "can't change sex".

No End To The Insanity: Media Now Claims That "Double Jabbed" Brits Who Have Colds Are Suffering From COVID
You might think from the title the media are at last getting the idea that the COVID "clotshot" vaccines are not working if large numbers of double vaccinated people are becoming ill but such common sense went out of fashion years ago. What the propagandists are doing is trying to blame the unvaccinated (purebloods as we now call ourselves,) for infecting immunised people with a virus we don't have ...

Governments' obsession with climate pseudoscience over economically and social viable solutions is leading to disaster
The government's current obsession with pursuing the target of net zero carbon emissions in order to claim the UK leads the world in green wankery is more to do with virtue signalling that governing, but with the complicity of mainstream media, particularly The BBC, climate scaremongering is providing a convenient diversion from this governments abject failure to address and of the very real economic and social problems facing us.

Strictly Come And Be A Fascist Dancing Stooge
Boris Johnson's fascistic demand that contestants on Strictly Come Dancing be vaccinates in the interests of safety (as if the public can catch the virus from an unvaxxed celeb through a television screen,) shows just how far along the road to fascism this authoritarian government has taken the country and how much further they are prepared to go

First Responders: From Heroes To Zeroes
2 October: Those who just one year ago were celebrated are now being vilified. The architects of this drastic rebrand? The ruling elite. In New York, Gov. Kathy Hochul announced Saturday that she would call in the National Guard to replace healthcare workers who did not meet Monday’s vaccination deadline.

500K Adverse Events Reported After COVID Vaccines In The US Alone

from Great Game India

As of Sept. 27, 2021 there were 569,294 adverse event reports associated with COVID-19 vaccination in the U.S., according to the federal Vaccine Adverse Event Reporting System (VAERS).

September 2021

Deaths among Teenagers have increased by 47% in the UK since they started getting the Covid-19 Vaccine according to official ONS data
Shock news as ONS official figures for 2020 show teenage deaths in the UK were up almost 150percent against corrsponsing period in 2019. Just one of the many social costs of the governmen's over-the-top pandemic response NOT reported by mainstream media.

Boris’ Government Trying To Bypass Parliament, Introduce Vaccine Passports By Back Door
We warned you this authoritarian government would not let the idea of vaccine passports go and here they are, reported by Summit News (well you didn't expect to see it in mainstream media did you?} tyring to bring in their wretched "Papers Please" legislation by the back door.

Green Dreams Menu
It may be driven by virtue signalling or self hatred but the urge to destroy civilisation in order to save the planet and the ideological agenda that drive the gree movement are too far removed from the realities of life to ever achieve their aims.

Covid Vaccine Fascism
Greenteeth Digital Publishing catalogue of posts on the covid pandemic authoritrariansm propaganda and pushbacks. Find posts on the authoritarian acts of government, the lies of Big Pharma vaccine makers and the protests and pushbacks from the people whose resistance is not being reported in mainstream media

Ivermectin? Neigh problem. US Food and Drung Agency Lists 'Horse Drug' As Approved COVID Treatment
After banning the use of anti - parasitic, anti - inflammatory drug Ivermecting for use in the economically developed nations because it was a "horse drug" the US Food and Drug administration has now approved another horse drug. The difference? Ivermectin is a more efficient and cheaper alternative to vacccines, dexamethasone is only effective against those seriously ill with COVID. Or to put the case bluntly, it may cover up evidence that the vaccines are failing as more double vaccinated people than unvaccinated are falling sick with COVID.

Have You Committed Your Three Thought Crimes Today?
You're a criminal. So am I. We all are, according to some legal experts there are now so many crimes, a lot of them loosely defined, it is impossible to get through the day without committing at least three crimes. In fac it is often the case that by obeying one law you are breaking another.

Vaccine shocker From Germany: "Out of ten autopsies, five deaths would be “very probably” linked to vaccines
A shocking report from respected German scientists claims out of 10 autopsies carried out on people who tested positive for COVID, five of the deaths were somehow linked to vaccines and the many observed side effects that occur soon after beople have been injected with COVID vaccine.

UK School staff receive threats of violence amid anti-vaccination campaign

Government plans to push their dodgy vaccines onto schoolchildren are meeting opposition. On the back of scientific studies showing children are at zero risk from cOVID and do not spread the virus parents, and citizens concerned at this fascistic coercion of citizens to accept an experimental medication are reacting in the only way they can.

Are Vaccines The New Messiah Or Are They Bollocks?
Throughout the pandemic of 2020 .21 we have been encouraged by a carefully constructed narrative to believe vaccines will be our messiah and only compliance with government diktat can save us from the kiler virus. But is it all bollocks?

"F**K The Jab, Long Live Australia" - 20,000 Shut Down Melbourne Highway In Massive Lockdown Protest
Anti-lockdown protests have become commonplace in Australia since the latest round of "snap" lockdowns began two months ago although you wouldn't think so if you rely on mainstream media for information about what's going on in this increasingly insane world. Newspapers and broadcast news channels have almost totally blanked stories reporting the pushback against the Australian government's increasingly authoritarian measures

he cultural elite says our new culture secretary is uncultured, yet I’d wager she’s the first best-selling author to hold the job, and the only one I know of to have eaten an ostrich anus on TV, which sounds positively French. The appointment of Nadine Dorries – an outspoken former nurse, businesswoman and star of I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here – is not a two fingers up to the culture industry but the direction of travel. That’s what so terrifies the gatekeepers.

How many more young lives will be sacrificed on Gates’s vaccine altar?
It’s remarkable that the man who has become the unelected global health czar and population control advocate is not being questioned on his past more closely. Though we are living through a crisis predicted by Gates and a response triggered and bankrolled by the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, which are driving us towards a vaccination and biometric ID solution which Gates has been working on for years, he’s still regarded as a benign philanthropist.

19 September 2021: India State of 241 MILLION People Declared COVID-Free After Government Promotes Ivermectin over Vaccines
The Indian state of Uttar Pradesh in India, which has the equivalent of two-thirds of the United States population, has been declared COVID-free, the state government announced last week. There are no more active cases of coronavirus in the 33 districts of Uttar Pradesh, which has a population of 241 million people.

18 September 2021: New Anti - Vaccine protest in London as double vaccinated people continue to get sick with COVID
Thousands of Anti-vaccine protesters marched from Camden to Downing Street in central London this afternoon, calling on the government to scrap plans to present Covid jab to youngsters.Police in riot gear dispersed protesters after purple paint bombs were thrown over the black ironwork of the gates of Downing Street.

France: Thousands of Health Workers Who Refused Covid Vaccine Mandate Suspended
17 September 2021: The French government have today suspended 3,000 health workers who have defied a manadte requiring all medical personnel to be vaccinated against COVI|D, The Guardian reports. Announcing the move France’s health minister said that many have since agreed to be inoculated now that they had seen “the mandate was a reality”. This of course violates the workers human rights under the Geneva Convention as well as about a million French civil and employment rights laws.

Italy Mandates COVID-19 Vaccine Passports For All Private Sector Workers
17 September 2021: Italys undemocratically appointed left wing government, acting no doubt on ordrrs from the EU which appointed the governing hotch - potch coalition yesterday (16 September) approved new and restrictive rules using the COVID-19 pandemic as an excise for this lurch towards fascism. The new rules which are aning the strictest in the world, in the world mandate that all private and public sector employees get the vaccine and show proof of vaccination,

Leaked Zoom Video Exposes Hospital Officials Discussing COVID-19 Scare Tactics
16 September 2021: A leaked Zoom conference reveals a doctor questioning how to increase the count of COVID-19 patient numbers on the hospital’s dashboard report.National File and other local media outlets that reported on the leak identified the people in the video as Mary Kathryn Rudyk, a physician at the medical center, who is asking Carolyn Fisher, the hospital’s director of marketing, how to inflate the number of people classified as COVID-19 patients for the purpose of generating fear in the unvaccinated.

10 September 2021: The Left is lying to itself, it needs limited migration as much as the Right does.

When Santiago Abascal, leader of Spanish right-wing party Vox, delivered a press conference on the 30th August, it did not take long for perhaps the most controversial part of his speech to be put into bite-sized form. Europe does not have moral duty to welcome or accept every Afghan or African who seeks to enter.

Has Biden's Afghan Surrender Handed The Future To China
5 September: The abrupt and ill - considered withdrawal of American troops from Afghanistan ordered by President Joe (Dementia Man) Biden and the susequent return to power of Islamic fundamentalist The Taliban hands control of the vast Afghan litium reserves to China and is a blow to the green agenda of the G7 nations

Why All The Fuss About Ivermectin?
First hydroxychloroquine, now ivermectin, is the hated deadly drug de jour, castigated by the medical establishment and regulatory authorities. Both drugs have been around for a long time as FDA-approved prescription medications. Yet now we are told they are as deadly as arsenic.

As a physician, I am certainly aware of ivermectin but don’t recall ever writing a prescription for it in my 30+ years’ medical career.

The Illusion Of Stability, The Inevitability Of Collapse

Imagine being at a party celebrating the vast wealth generated in the last ten months in stocks, cryptocurrencies, real estate and just about every other asset class. The lights flicker briefly but the host assures the crowd the generator powering the party is working perfectly. Being a skeptic, you slip out on the excuse of bringing in more champagne and pay a visit to the generator room. To your horror, you find the entire arrangement held together with duct tape

The Orwellian Vaccine Passport Agenda Relies On The Lie Of The "Social Contract"
There is a fundamental question that needs to be asked when examining the vaccine passport issue, and what I find is that almost no one in the mainstream is tackling it directly. The question is this: "Is it legally and morally acceptable to constrict the rights and economic access of people in order to force them to submit to an experimental “vaccine”, or any other medical procedure for that matter?"

Johnson’s Proposed National Insurance Hike Threatens Jobs And Recovery
The prime minister has been warned by The Confederation Of British Industry and other groups and campaigners representing various areas of the national economy that job creation and young workers will bear the brunt of what is essentially a stealth tax affecting 25m people.

Thousands Protests Against Covid Vaccine Passports In London
Unreported by mainstream media as in previous months, crowds numbering tens of thousands gathered in London on the last weekend of the month to protest agains the government's plans to introduce vaccine passports next month.

August 2021

Hundreds arrested during anti-lockdown protests in Australia
31 August: Throughout the pandemic of fear one of the big surprises has been the way Australians, known for being a nation of independent minded, outspoken, awkward bastarts have meekly accepted some of the most opressive restrictions on personal freedom and civil liberties, but it seems things may be changing as the Aussies say "enough".

July 2021

Populist Politicians Threaten Legal Action Against Proposed Covid Passports
Spanish populist party VOX has threatened legal action against the Madrid government if the ruling coalition implements a so-called health passport scheme that would require proof of vaccination or a negative coronavirus test to enter certain businesses. The leader of VOX, Santiago Abascal, stated this week, that if the Madrid government wanted to introduce a health pass he and VOX would take the matter to court.

E U Central Bank Digital Currency Is The Death Rattle Of A Failed Experiment

The announcement from the European Central Bank (ECB) that is is to intrduce an official European Union digital currency spells the end of the European Single Currency experiment and with it the ambition of "ever closer union until the EU's member states were merged into a single political entity Digital Currencies might not quite be Ponzi schemes but on appearances the difference can be compared to that between a horse and a pony.

Entire vaccine theory OBLITERATED as Biden promises you can’t catch Covid if you get the vaccinationIf the Covid vaccines really work, then everyone who gets them should not ever be worried about catching it from anyone who doesn’t get the jab. The installed fake president Joe Biden said, “You’re not going to get Covid if you have these vaccinations.” So if vaccines protect you 100 percent, why does it matter if others around you aren’t vaccinated? The claim that unvaccinated people are somehow a risk to the vaccinated just got obliterated.

Blood doctor releases findings showing Moderna’s mRNA Covid vaccines change red blood cells
27 July: it’s time to become your own “medical investigator,” because these vaccine manufacturers and regulatory agencies do not have our best interest in mind. Would you like to know exactly what the mRNA vaccines do to your blood that’s far more dangerous than the Covid-19 virus or any of its variants? You don’t have to be a mechanic to learn and understand how dirty oil can ruin a motor, and you don’t have to be a doctor or scientist to understand how mRNA Covid vaccines are changing red blood cells to make them stick together.

First They Came For The Unvaccinated And I Did Not Speak Out
Authorities in Germany have indicated that unvaccinated people could be banned from cinemas and restaurants and that those who have taken the jab will have “more freedom.” Angela Merkel’s chief of staff Helge Braun told Bild that if cases keep rising, new rules will be brought in that will ensure the unvaccinated are deprived of basic lifestyle activities.

July 28: Scamdemic! Leaked Data Shows Over Half of UK ‘COVID Hospitalizations’ Tested AFTER Admission
NHS figures exclusively provided to The Telegraph allegedly show patients counted as COVID-positive by the British government were originally admitted to the hospital for separate ailments.No wonder the UK requires a COVID test to everyone admitted to hospitals, they’re trying to pump up the numbers!

Grooming & Abuse: Story of teenage girl raped, forced into child marriage and then abandoned by system
July 29: A report commissioned after nine men were jailed over the sexual exploitation of girls who had been in council care in Bradford revealed that a girl victim of grooming and sexual abuse at the hands of one of the notorious gangs of Muslim mem who targeted such vulnerable young girls in Bradford and the surrounding areas. The victim, while sill a child, was raped by multiple men, physically abused and forced into an Islamic marriage against her will.

Scamdemic! Leaked Data Shows Over Half of UK ‘COVID Hospitalizations’ Tested AFTER Admission Proving the COVID “pandemic” to be a total scam, leaked data out of the UK shows 56% of alleged COVID hospitalizations were people who tested positive after going to the hospital for a different health issue.

NHS figures exclusively provided to The Telegraph claim to show patients counted as COVID-positive by the British government were originally admitted to the hospital for separate ailments.

Scientists want to insert ‘their mark’, be called ‘your creator’ and ‘own you’
We’ve said it before and we’ll no doubt say it again, scientists are dangerous. Ranging from the downright stupid (climate scientists, to the unashamedly neo – Nazi (cOVID vaccines eugenicists) to the criminally psychopathic (the transgender mob who believe their irresponsible tinkering with the human genome will create a race of superbeings.

First They Came For The Unvaccinated And I Did Not Speak Out
Authorities in Germany have indicated that unvaccinated people could be banned from cinemas and restaurants and that those who have taken the jab will have “more freedom.”
Angela Merkel’s chief of staff Helge Braun told Bild that if cases keep rising, new rules will be brought in that will ensure the unvaccinated are deprived of basic lifestyle activities.“The number of new infections is increasing even faster than in the previous waves. That worries me very much,” said Braun.

London Freedom Rally:Tens Of Thousands In Trafalgar Square To Protest Against Covid Passports
As the UK government stepts up its push to introduce vaccines passport which would exclude unvaccinated people from many basic, everyday activities, huge crowds gathered in London and other UK cities to protest against lockdowns, track and trace apps, coercive measures to force unwilling people to accept experimental vaccines, mask mandates, social distancing and all the other oppressive and fascistic measures imposed by Boris Johnson’s authoritarian government

France: Thousands Protest Against Vaccine Passports and Mandatory Vaccination
July 21, Reports of numerous protests, with the total number involved estimated at over 1 million, took place across France on Saturday. They were protesting against authoritarian policies of forcing vaccination of health workers as a prelude to mandate the vaccination of all citizens and residents and requiring a COVID-19 free certificate, colloquially known as a “vaccine passport” to enter places such as sports stadia, theatres, restaurants, cinemas. and even shopping malls.

Doctors and Scientists Warn Of Covid Vaccine Dangers Government And Big Pharma Corporations Are covering Up
The vast majority of people who are getting injected for Covid-19 will die within a few short years from heartfailure, warns Dr. Charles Hoffe, M.D., a medical practitioner in British Columbia, Canada. In one of his latest updates, Dr. Hoffe explains that he is observing in patients who took an mRNA (messenger RNA) “vaccine” from either Pfizer-BioNTech or Moderna that their capillaries are now plugging up, which he says will eventually lead to a serious cardiovascular event.

So Much For "Freedom Day": UK Health Authorities Bar Unvaccinated Patrons From Nightclubs Thousands of young Britons celebrated "Freedom Day" by piling into nightclubs that had been closed for nearly a year-and-a-half, indulging in the kind of nightlife activities they once took for granted. Unfortunately for those who haven't been "fully vaccinated", the UK's vaccine's minister Nadhim Zahawi said Monday that a negative coronavirus test will "no longer be sufficient" proof that a person is COVID safe.

Zahawi said a negative coronavirus test would soon "no longer be sufficient" proof that a person was COVID-safe, and instead they urged nightclubs and other businesses to use the NHS COVID pass, which contains their vaccination status. Public health authorities will be monitoring to see how many businesses voluntarily follow this 'recommendation'. Over the next few weeks, "we will be keeping a close watch on how it is used by venues and reserve the right to mandate if necessary."

But pretty soon, providing proof of vaccination status might be a requirement in the UK,

The EU is its own worst enemy

2 July 2021: If the European Union wants to achieve its goal of 'ever closer Union', along with continued border expansion, then it's time Brussels re-evaluated its strategy. The behaviour and approach in recent years has done nothing but tarnish the EU's reputation and make it perfectly clear to all neighbouring countries this is not a community you want to be part of if you do not want to be tied to Brussels for decades to come, argues Jayne Adye, Director of Get Britain Out.

"Panic Porn Passed Off As Science" As The Delta Variant Scare Used To Prolong Pandemic Misery

1 July 2021: Mainstram media was in meltdown today as the scaremonger in chief, sponsor of biological weapons development, liar, fraud, fake scientist and general cunt Dr. Anthony Fauci's warnings about the supposedly "dire threat" posed by the Delta variant of the SARS-COV2 virus which causes COVID-19 continues to be dramatically amplified by the news media in most democratic nations .

Sacked by the NHS – a Doctor with the courage to say No to vaccines
A GP who resigned his ‘job for life’ as a partner with a Hampshire practice because of his doubts about Covid-19 vaccines has been suspended by NHS England for questioning coronavirus protocol. Dr Sam White received a letter on Friday informing him that he was suspended with immediate effect, which stops him practising as a doctor within the NHS. On Saturday he was telephoned by a senior clinical adviser to NHS England, who condescendingly called him ‘poppet’.

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Shock Horror, Scotsman pays 40 for a TENNER
by ianrthorpe
@ 2009-06-15

Is this the end of civilisation as we know it.

Scotsman Stewart Smith says he was stunned when having dropped a 10 note in the street he was slapped with a 50 for littering. Stewart, 36, said he did not realise he had dropped the note and a price tag after buying a 3 T-shirt from a charity shop. Two nearby bobbies immediately told him to pick his cash up off the pavement which he did gladly, thanking them for pointing out his loss. He was gobsmacked when the coppers then handed him a fixed penalty notice for LITTERING.

Not only is Stewart 40 light, he now has the unwelcome distinction of being the only Scotsman ever to pay above face value for a banknote.

What next? Church congregations charged with hate crimes because their hymn singing can be heard my Muslims out in the street? Football supporters fined for causing noise pollution. People accused of causing environmental damage after mowing their lawns?

Sex On The Beach Dire warnings in the tabloids today about the perils of having sex on the beach when holidaying abroad this summer.

Boggart Blog's fatsally has a few tips to help you enjoy your alfresco rumpy pumpy without getting arrested / infected / drowned

Sex On The Beach
Peacock Rescue
special corrspondent

13 June 2009

I dont watch Springwatch any more. Bill Oddie has moved on so there is little chance of seeing a bearded tit and no matter who presents the show it will never top the classic moment a couple of years ago when a heartbreakingly cute fluffy little baby owl burst out of the eggshell and was straightaway jumped on and swallowed whole by an elder sibling.

Life On Mars, A Guide To Modern Policing
by fatsally

It seems just as some people thought Kevin Turvey, investigative journalist, aka Rik Mayall; and Alan Partridge, radio DJ and chat show host, aka Steve Coogan, were real people, so some officers in the Met appear to have thought Life on Mars was a guide to good policing techniques.

Apparently two gentlemen of Nigerian extraction, funny that, claim that one was waterboarded, just like in Guantanamo Bay, and the other had his head shoved down the toilet whilst the officer holding him pulled the chain.

The problem with this of course is that the story has got out.

Obviously the alleged victims were not scared enough; that wouldn't have happened back in Gene's day. So, as a special treat, some more advice for the boys in blue from DCI Gene Hunt:
A signed confession covered in the signatories blood will not stand up in court.
And of course you mustn't forget to read them their rights:
Anything you say will be taken down, ripped up and shoved down your scrawny little throat until you choke to death.
All right Lads? Get it right next time.

Transparency As Clear As Mud
by fatsally

Gordon Brown survived the PLP meeting on Monday evening, when several leading figures in the party told him to go, by bullying; do you want a minister to help you campaign come the general election?, smearing and crawling.

His particular crawl, which I am sure I've heard before from him, was that he would learn from his mistakes, be aware of his weaknesses and try to govern in a more open manner.

36 hours later The Telegraph headlines that despite Sir Christopher Kelly's contention that its findings should be made public, the inquiry by the Commitee for Standards in Public Life into the financial arrangements of Shahid Malik, Mp for Bradford, former Justice Minister and now re-appointed to a post in the Communities and Local government department, old Gordi has refused the release of the report. Transparency that's as clear as mud.

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It's The Sausages Stupid
The European federalisation lobby sneer at suggestions that Bureaucrats in Brussels want to regulate British sausages and standardise on the Eurosausage model. But Bureaucractic regulatory schemes never die, they are just put into suspended animation.

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The Adventures Of A Deranged Call Centre Worker
by ianrthorpe

No time to blog today as I have been busy with technical stuff (the other might be along later.) In the meantime you might like to look at the new strip cartoon posted at Greenteeth Multi Media today.

Christopher Walkden - Customer Service Clerk

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The Art of Cheating?
by cleohart

Art in this day and age can refer to pretty much anything. I heard recently that a gallery in New York awarded a top cash prize to an artist who produced what was basically a pin-the-tailon-the-donkey (and yes, its interactive, you can move the tail!) from a childs birthday party, but he attached some deep and meaningful bollocks to it to give it substance, and now hes probably laughing his tits off. But somewhere in between the great masters and the talentless piss takers, there lies a grey area: blind photographer. Oh yes, in California they are having a whole exhibition of work from many blind photographers. Now, I dont have anything against the blind, and if taking photos really floats their boat then snap away. What I do take issue with is the blind person taking all the credit as the artist. They cant see fully, if at all, their composition; they dont really know if it turns out how they wanted. Oh, yeah, they have the concept, the image of what they want in their mind. But this will have to be described to another person and set up with all the props or whatever is required, which may or may not be exactly what the photographer had in mind, but well never know, and neither will the photographer. I have a similar issue with the Paralympics. Again, nothing to do with the athletes disability, more the fact that the blind, short distance runners (up to 800m) are assigned a guide runner and 2 lanes; one for the athlete, one for the guide runner. But the medal goes to the athlete. What about the guide runner? Surely they will have had to train as hard, run as fast, break a Paralympics world record if the athlete breaks one? Its a bit like the school bully getting the school swot to do his homework for him.

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The Apprentice Prime Minister

News that Prime Minister Gordon Brown has appointed Sir Alan Sugar, anchorman of reality television show The Apprentice to his cabinet team as Labour's small business tsar makes us wondr just what king of showbiz government is Brown running Or is the decision perhaps based on the knowledge that Labour will be seking to appoint a new leader very soon. As the party's internal elections process failed so disastrously last time perhaps Surgar will lead a new selection method.

Will Labours Top Totty Topple Gordon?
by ianrthorpe

The resignation of Labour top totty Caroline Flint must have come as something of a surprise to Gordon Brown and his dwindling band of supporters. As recently as Thursday evening curvaceous Caro was reaffirming her loyalty to Gordon Brown and telling television reporters what an excellent job the Prime Minister was doing.

It was something of a shock on Friday then to here the lissom Labour babe had resigned her ministerial position alleging that Brown regarded her as no more than window dressing for the cabinet. What had happened overnight to make everything go pear shaped in the pulchritudinous politicians working relationship with her boss?

Boggart Blog can exclusively reveal the true story behind Foxy Ms. Flints resignation. Our Downing Street insider obtained a copy of an e-mail sent out on Friday morning:

From: gordon@no10
To : caro.flint@labour

You have done a wonderful job as Minister for sexy skirts but now, in the partys hour of need I must ask you to take one extra step. Obviously today will be a dire day for Labours standing in the public perception as the election results come in and our losses pile up.

We desperately need something to divert the attention of the media from our election meltdown. That being the case I have arranged for a photographer from The Sun to call at your place around 11:30 this morning. It is time to get your tits out for the cause.

BTW I would consider it a personal favour if you could wear black stocking with lacy tops.

Very Best Regards,

LEAVING LABOURS sorrows aside for the moment, although Im sure we will return to it, Boggart Blog has been warming to UKIP. Why, you might well ask. Well read this passage from a report in The Guardian of a visit to UKIP HQ.

...and then there is an extrovert, middle aged skinhead wearing jeans and shades.

So youre from The Guardian? he says, full of bonhomie, My brother used to work for The Guardian. Thats the good news. The bad news is I hate him, hes a fucking twat. We said to him the way youre going youll end up working for The Guardian. And he did too, the fucking twat.

Can you imagine The head Of Communications & Media for Labour, the Conservatives or the Lib Dems ever being that entertaining.

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Boggart Blog - Undertakers Unlucky Plates Of Meat
Read how an undertaker tried to take a short cut to solve a problem and ended up footing the bill.

Exclusive Interview with Susan Boyle's Cat Pebbles
by fatsally

Following the sad news of Britain's Got Talent Star Susan Boyle suffering a nervous breakdown as a result of media pressure following her success we bring you an exclusive interview with Susan's cat Pebbles.

Be Careful What You Wish For...
by fatsally

Oh How those Greek deities up there on Mount Olympus must be chortling away.

Millennia have passed since they were worshipped and feared by the people of Ancient Greece, their temples abandoned to the ravages of time and tourists, their noble statues emasculated in the name of decency, the oracles through which they spoke, silenced.

But gods are wiser than men. They have patiently bided their time.

And now, it appears, they are back with a vengeance.

It is the Greek gods who inspired the term,


and so it comes to pass.

Susan Boyle wanted to be famous, but celebrity in the hands of today's media is a double edged sword and where the press lauded the wee spinster's singing talent they also alighted on her apparent breakdown as the final to BGT drew closer, circling like vultures to record her humiliation of failure and subsequent incarceration at a mental health clinic.

That, of course, could just be a mere coincidence, however there are further instances.

Gordon Brown desperately wanted to be leader of the Labour Party....

The Labour party desperately wanted rid of Tony Blair...

Be careful what you wish for...

RELATED POSTS: The Gods Return To Olympus

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Knife Crime Is No Joke
by Ian R Thorpe


We are a comedy blog but sometimes comedy, in its theatrical sense, is not about being silly and looking for cheap laughs. No apologies then for being darkly ironic in todays first post.

An item in this mornings news concerned a police/education department initiative to show in schools a video depicting reconstructions of fatal stabbing incidents. The idea is to inform school children about the possible consequences of carrying knives.

Excuse is for seeming nave but it is possible, is it not, that the message school pupils will pick up on is the danger of not having a knife when everyone else is carrying?

Is It A Bird, Is It A Plane? No It's Supergordon!
by fatsally

As the government goes into meltdown and the economic situation worsens can anybody save Britain now? King Arthur? Merlin? Cometh the hour, cometh the man an old saying goes. but where is our super hero when we most need him. Has Supergordon deserted us or will he return to save the nation?

Supergordonalso appears on Boggart Blog

Breaking news - Britain's Got Talent Senstation!
by Ian R Thorpe

The story has just landed on the Boggart Blog news desk and we cnnot conform the details yet but we are hearing some senational revelations about Britain's Got Talent runner up Susan Boyle.

You are probably aware Susan was taken to the Priory Clinic when her erratich behaviour led the shows producers to think she was uffering from nervous exhaustion and tabloid journalists to report she was stark raving bonkers in the head.

Several fould mouthed outbursts had led to suspicions Sunan was not the homely spinster who had led a very quiet life that publicists suggested.

What we are hearing now goes way further than that though, and we must remind you these are unsubstantiated allegations so far. Our people inside the Priory are telling us though that Susan was not always Susan. The shaving rash should have been a bit of a clue. What we are hearing is that before gender reassignment surgery around ten years ago Susan Boyle was known to the world as....


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800 On Waiting List For Death Clinic
by Ian R Thorpe
31 May 2009 Can Things Get Any Worse?

A headline in one of the Sunday papers today read 800 Britons on waiting list for Swiss suicide clinic.

It was not the number that shocked so much as learning there are waiting lists for suicide clinics. Have things really go so bad?

Well maybe a story at The Daly Stirrer which takes in this news item, the story of the mother declsared too stupid to care for her child despite not having mental health issues and having a supportive family and there not being any indication that she might abuse, neglect or ill-treat the child will make you wonder just how far Labour's control freakery has progressed.

Or it might take the plan to compel everybody over 50 to take drugs for high blood pressure whether individuals need them or not to convince you we need to take back control of our country and our lives from the control freaks.

Go to
Can Things Get Any Worse now to read the full article.

Boycotting Britain's Got Talent
by Ian R Thorpe
30 May 2009

Tonight I will rob myself of several good posts over the next few days by boycotting Britain's Got Talent. Why?

Because not only is the final crammed with dance acts, child acts and dancing child acts, there also is not very much talent evident.

Susan Boyle has a wonderful singging voice, sadly it turns out she has, through no fault of her own, a number of issues. These may even include a mild dose of tourette's syndrome. I can't really imagine somebody going down well at the Royal Variety Show after singing "Don't cry for me FUCK OFF! Argentina, the truth is WANK! I never left you."

The precocious child who sang I Could have Danced All Night in an earlier show appeared to fall apart while singing Eidelweiss. Maybe she is not ready for such a big occasion. Or perhaps she was having a little tantrum at being given such a shitty song to sing.

The stupendous talent of D.J. Talent will be sorely missed in the final. Who could ever forget his moving and insightful lyric:
I say talent
You say talent
Britain's Got Talent
It's D.J. Talent

You just can't ignore talent like that.

Also missing will be the extreme juggler who promised to juggle exploding melons failed to do so. He blamed Health and Safety Officers who banned the exploding melons as they posed a risk to life and limb. Funny but the health and Safety Thought Police has no problem with the all girl dance group or the Burlesque danger though both acts featured melons being if not juggled, certainly jiggled.

Another act that deserved more exposure was the guy who put butchers hooks through his ear lobes and dangled a dustbin from them. I mean literlly more exposure. There used to be an act in Circus Arcaos who stripped off behind a screen and, seen only in silhouette, dangled a 56 pound weight from his bollocks. That would have livened things up. We need more acts like him on television.

But what really pissed me off was the elimination of Callum, the kid who did songs from Oliver and Jungle Book. I'm not a fan of musicals but young Callum has a great voice, natural stagecraft and an infectiously jolly personality. And most importantly real, genuine talent.

And he isn't even in the effing final.

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Labour Party Turns Into Dad's Army
by Ian R Thorpe

Our news desk is receiving reports that a record number of Labour MPs have applied for seats in the House Of Lords in the hope they will be able to stay on the expenses gravy train without having to face the electorate in a few months.

In the wake of the expenses scandal and the Gurka fiasco a mood of despondency has descended on the whole party.

Even Gordon Brown's best mate Ed (the ball) Balls can't see any lihght at the end of the tunnel. He told a press conference "Governing parties tend to do badly in local and European elections. That is what will happen to Labour next week.

Other senior Labour figures put it more bluntly. "We're doomed, we're all doomed" said one, echoing Private Fraser from Dad's Army.

Can't wait for the bit where Hazel Blears (4'10") draws herself up to her full height, looks at Gordon Brown and says, "Stupid boy."

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Cold Case People keep some very strange stuff in their freezers

In Memory Of Scandals Past They don't make political scandals like they used to.

Is Top Footballer The Boy Detective From a 1960s Comic Strip
by Ian R Thorpe

I was still reading comics at the start of the 1960 so I write from authentic memories as nothing in the world of pre pubescent and adolescent boys changed much between the end of World War 2 and the mid 1970s.

So there I was watching the footy last night and reflecting on what it is about Christian Ronaldo I find slightly disturbing. And it came to me in one of those flashes of cosmic consciousness in which the mind transcends the physical limitations of time and space.

Ronaldo reminds me of one of those badly drawn characters, a boy-detective or boy-reporter or something that featured in Hotspur, Rover, Wizard and the rest. You know the guy, his sidekick was always a Border Collie. The plot of these stories was the same every week: badly drawn boy reporter / detective / secret agent gets into a bad situation, the dog sorts it out and the stupid kid gets the credit. Then a fat posh bloke in a top hat pops up and says "you and your dog saved the day, here's ten shillings to get yourself a slap up tea."

We shall perhaps never know what happened to the Border Collie. Pity, United could have done with it in midfield last night.

Sheep Burp, Cows Fart And The Government Has Pie In The Sky
by fatsally

Given the success of previous campaigns which aimed to alter the public's artery clogging, alcohol abusing, binge drinking, chain smoking, obesity inducing, unsafe shagging promiscuous lifestyles; and also given that this Government now finds itself with loads of money on its hands after the MP's expenses debacle, and what with no incompetantly run banks left to bail out, our elected members have decided to launch a campaign to get us to eat less beef and lamb and more chicken and pork.

The rationale behind this latest glorious waste of taxpayer's money is that cows and sheep fart and burp a lot, respectively, whereas pigs and chickens don't fart and burp to the same extent.

When the cows are farting and the sheep are burping they are releasing vast quantities of methane into the atmosphere and so really, despite us humans driving around in cars; using central heating when it's cold; using air conditioning when it's warm; flying away to sushine paradises all year round; lighting up our patio heaters and barbecues whilst we singe a sausage or two and get quietly sloshed, causing us to burp and fart more; import exotic fruits and vegetables to gently decay in our state of the art fridges; consume vast quantities of designer water neatly packaged in plastic bottles which we then chuck in the bin, or better still out of the car window; whilst we consume more, becoming ever larger and rounder and consequently producing more emissions ourselves - global warming is not our fault.

Government advisers are developing menus to counteract climate change apparently. Pretentious or what?

Anyway some devout bods are busy calculating the carbon footprint of food and drink products.

So lamb and beef ar off the menu and surprise surprise so is alcohol. Greenhouse grown tomatoes are also a no no, but funnily enough coca cola and chocolate aren't.

Hmmm I think they've still got some way to go on this one. Or maybe they have some party supporters with large chequebooks who happen to be in the soft drinks and confectionary trade. Who knows?

Anyway the message is clear and we will, of course respond in our usual British fashion and completely ignore it and carry on as we were.

Dr Strangelove's Secret Bacon Butty Weapon
It is not that long since Government Scientists (cue opening chords from Bach's Toccata and Fuge) were telling us how eating pork and bacon would give us all cancer.

HMS Discovery: the BNP's Election Battleship?
by Ian R Thorpe

It seems the decision of The London Assembly to invite BNP councillor Richard Barnbrook to The Queens Buck House garden party was a bit of a faux pas especially as Barnbrook decided to take along as his guest BNP leader Nick Griffin. About the only person who was pleased by this was Prince Phil the Greek who is absolutely delighted and is rumoured to have commented in private, At last there will be somebody there with whom I can have a nice chat about wogs, coons and slitty eyed little yellow bastards.

Palace officials are worried however that Her Maj may find it difficult to make small talk with Barnbrook and Griffin. Imagine:
Equerry: Richard Barnbrook and Nick Griffin Mam.
Queen: Hello, its so nice to meet you, and what o you do?
BNP boys: Were racists Mam.
Queen: Really, how very interesting.

The officials need fear not. Although the pair are capable of turning the most vacuous banalities into propaganda Her Maj, who has spent a lifetime opening art galleries, museums, exhibitions, theatres and civic centres will be safe if she sticks to the arts. Richard Barnbrook you see is a film director who specialises in low budget art house movies. his best known film to date is titled HMS Discovery.

Despite the title it is not a film about life on one of the ships used in Captain Cooks voyages of exploration or a ripping yarn about George Vancouvers mapping expedition to the west coast of Canada. It is much more arty than that. Blurbs describe HMS Discovery as a sensitive love story in which a group of men embark on a personal voyage to explore their sexuality. The plot features full frontals of aroused men, scenes of al fresco sex, mutual masturbation, flagellation and bondage. If Her Majesty runs out of chat about all this surely she will find many topics to talk about with another old queen.

Some people have described HMS Discovery as pure pornography. Just shows how far people will go to discredit the BNP.

BTW, the leader of the ultra macho, head-shaving, West ~ham shirt wearing BNP is going to a party as the escort of a man who makes gay porn movies (oops pardon, I meant sensitive love stories.) What's that all about?

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Rich Bankers
by fatsally

I've just had an interesting conversation with a chap from my bank.

And it is my bank, and yours too, we're majority share holders I believe, because my bank took on millions of pounds worth of debt from people who couldn't afford to pay and had to come and ask our representatives in Parliament for a handout of our money. So the money the bank has is mine anyway, right?

So they wanted to charge me 21 for going 12 overdrawn for a maximum 16 hours. That's fair innnit?

I used to have a 1000 overdraft facility but they had decided that as I didn't use it I didn't need it.

They were supposed to revue that in April, but hey ho, for some reason they decided to change it in March, and then guess what, a direct debit for 92 went out the day before a payment of 80 went in.

So there I am trying to get the overdraft facility back, not a grand though, but 100 maybe, just to be on the safe side. And what did the chappie tell me?

I couldn't have an overdraft greater than the regular payments going into the account, so 50 was the maximum I could get. Apparently they're worried I might not pay them back.

Neatly overlooking the feeling amongst us taxpayers that we won't get our money back and it's a sight more than 12. He suggested that I put say 200 into that account each month, then I'd get a 100 overdraft, but as I only spend 120 from that account each month I wouldn't need one would I?

I aked if I was in credit whether the bank would pay me a 15 arrangement fee and 6 per day in charges for every day I was in credit but he thought I was being silly.

That's rich coming from a banker.

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Labour MPs Food Bill: Fat Cat or Fat Bastard. More Bad News For Conservatives.
by ianrthorpe

We would like to move on from the MPs expenses scandal, we really would but the stories that keep being revealed present satirical bloggers with such wide open goals it would be a crime to miss them (unless you are a Newcastle United striker in which case it is par for the course,)

The latest blow to Labours political credibility comes from chief whip and the Prime Ministers enforcer Nick Brown (no relation) who, news media have revealed claimed 18,000 in unreceipted expenses for food. Unreceipted means he was not eating in expensive restaurants but was either pigging out on junk from fast food places or buying multiple trolleyloads of stuff down the supermarket.

How does anyone spend eighteen grand on food? Even if he only shops at Waitrose thats a lorra scran. And how hypocritical are these people, always banging on about how evil it is to be overweight and how obesity is dragging the country towards bankruptcy. Its not as if those greedy buggers are all borderline anorexic is it?

Still, on the plus side anyone who eats that much food would not need to claim for manure to spread on his garden.

But it is not just Labour that keep scoring own goals. With knobheads like Gloucester candidate Richard Graham the Conservatives are not home and hosed yet.

Richard posted on his website a copy of a letter sent to The Times (perhaps our resident Times reader fatsally can tell us whether it was printed exactly as written.) The message Richard sent is reproduced below: verbatim.

For anyone aspiring to be an MP its been pretty depressing to see how ridiculed politicians have become. You are all the same is the cry on the doorstep but of course we are not even if the Telegraph has unearthed a lot of bad apples, and it was reassuring yesterday and today to meet people who realised that and just want to see some honesty and hard work from their cunt.

Queried on this Richard said he was tired when he typed the item and it should have read councillor.

So leaving aside the grammatical shortcomings and the intriguing reference to unearthing apples (perhaps he was thinking of pommes de terre) it remains to be established if Mr. Graham is a lousy typist or simply illiterate.

The voters of Gloucester will decide.

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Shock! Horror! You Mean It Wasn't True? by fatsally

Little Alfie Patten, thirteen going on seven year old, is said to be devastated that DNA tests have proved he is not the father of 'girlfriend' Chantelle Stedman's daughter, Maisie.

Alfie claimed, or at least whoever was manipulating him did, that he had been going out with Chantelle for two years, that she had been a virgin and that he was the only boy she had slept with.

However there then followed a parade of teenaged boys claiming that they had slept with Chantelle, at her home, with her mother's knowledge and implicit consent.

A bit like that scene in Spartacus really.

"I slept with Chantelle nine months ago."

"I slept with Chantelle nine months ago."

"I slept with Chantelle nine months ago."

It was at this point that social sevices stepped in, right on the ball, as usual, and an injunction was obtained banning any more reporting on the story. DNA samples were taken from all the boys involved and it now turns out that a lad called Tyler Barker is the father. Tyler would have been fourteen at the time of conception, which is really a tad young to be doing anything more than sniggering over your Dad's secret porn pile, wouldn't make half such a good story.

He also looks like a typical teenager, spiky hair, cheeky grin, a bit of a twinkle in his eye, not nearly as interesting as the almost infantesque Alfie.

Makes you wonder about the motivation for bringing the story of Alfie and Chantelle onto the front pages really, doesn't it? Was it public interest or was it the lure of The Sun's chequebook and the chance for the infamous fifteen minutes of fame.

Suffice to say I'm sure anyone with half a brain was, like Boggartblog, extremely sceptical of the claim in the first place.

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Revenge On The Trouser Snake A word of warning to the boys, we know you have to sit on the loo, but it could be best to look before you dump. A chap went off to the loo, presumably with the Sunday paper for a nice, long, commune with nature...

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Does Multiculturalism Work? (Eurovision Song Contest) by ianrthorpe @ 2009-05-18 18:31:46 Does Multiculturalism work? Three words, Eurovision effing Song Contest. This geriatric schlockfest was one of the first attempts to create a single European culture. The two things it created are a forum in which petty grudges and resentments can be maintained at a low level (when what is really needed

You Can't Keep A Good Nutter Down
Some people just can't help themselves, they have to stand and shout, "LOOK AT ME" any and every chance they get. So it is with defrocked vicar Neil Horan.
He first came to public notice at the Atlanta Olympics when he grabbed the leading runner

Let her breasts satisfy thee at all times? Ooer Missis.
Here in Britain we have not been much aware of the storm that has blown up around the winner of the Miss California beauty contest.
What kicked it all off was this: when contestant Carrie Prejean...
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Fart Flavoured Snacks
We know everything is going to shite but are the British public ready for fart flavoured snacks? This is not traditional farty smelling snacks such as Dry Roast Peanuts we are talking about, they actually taste quite peanutty once the fart sealed inside the bag as a preservative has been released. Neither are we talking about Bombay Mix which provides...
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Escalator Crime Escalates
The Barnsley Chronicle (Town Edition) features pictures on its front page of two elderly gentleman who have apparently had a bit of a coming together with a rogue escalator.
Jack Faulkner, the earliest victim commented, "Someone is going to get killled...
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BNP? You Dont Scare Me, Na-naa na na-naa
Looking beyond the MPs expenses scandal yesterday for the first time in what seems like years I was surprised to find life is still going on out there. One story we missed were the party political broadcasts by lunatic fringe parties for the...
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The Importance Of Not Losing Your Set A Level Texts
by fatsally
@ 2009-05-15

Drawn back towards consciousness from the depths of dreamland, wither my head nodded over my desk, I peeked around the office door to find the cause of the commotion.

The Apprentice: Margate Falls Into Sere And Yellow Leaf. Not!
by ianrthorpe
Blind to the credit crunch, deaf to the cries of the dispossessed as hunger bites, oblivious to the Swine Flu, contestants in The Apprentice last night went down to Margate having been given the task of rebranding the tired, tawdry, run down resort. Rebranding, thats when you, like, dont change anything, you just get...
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Unhappy Pills Being unhappy makes people reach for comfort food. Eating comfort food makes people fat. Being fat causes depression, ergo being slim and eating comfort food both make people happy the diet industry reasons. So why not develop a happy pill that stops people getting fat no matter how much confort food they eat? If only life was that simple... CLICK HERE to readUnhappy Pills

Lib Dems Expenses Claims Fail To Impress.
Ian R Thorpe
12 May 2009

The fervid anticipation preceding the release of Liberal Democrats dodgy expenses claims turned into a sense of disappointment today as the embarrassing items we had hoped to see were absent. Where, for example, were the invoices for 5000 gallon tankers of Vodka delivered to Charlie Kennedys second home or the bill for supply of intravenous drip equipment so the former leaders could stay topped up while paralytic?

How did one time leadership contender Mark Oaten conceal the bills for personal services from his rent boy? As maintenance work perhaps: To French Polishing a tallboy, 50 ?

Lembit Opik, whose name we did not make up but wish we had, was also a letdown. His claims had been widely looked forward to but it turned out his only misdemeanour was trying to charge taxpayers 40 court fees for a summons issued over non payment of council tax. While the amount is not spectacular the audacity of trying to get taxpayers to for your tax bill is worth a mention.

In spite of that we have a right to think Lembit short changed us after we treated him so generously. Where were the bills for gold lame knickers he surely bought for his Cheeky Girl inamorata. We have a right to be entertained by such stuff but the Lib Dems let us down. LD Smurf Sarah Treather (49) indulged in a bit of self righteousness by saying it would be ridiculous for her to claim for a second home as her first home, in her constituency, was only half an hour by tube from Westminster. Members in other parties had pulled such stunts though, she said darkly.

Was she by any chance referring to Labour Smurf Hazel Blears (410)? Probably not as Ms Blears constituency is several traffic jams up the M1 and M6 although her many homes are all over the place and seem to change location quite often. It is nice to know the reputation of Parliamentary Smurfs is not totally besmirched. We advise young Sarah not to overdo it though, nobody likes a smug tart.

The only Lib Dem to really impress was former leaders Menzies (Evil Emperor Ming) Campbell who charged ten grand for having his rather small London flat decorated. Ten grand seems a lot to pay for a few rolls of woodchip paper and a can of emulsion paint from Homebase and makes the 82 claimed by current leaders Nick (Shagger) Clegg for phone calls to his mates as in male buddies not his myriad former lovers. To his great credit Clegg claimed 7000 for renovations to his constituency home but the legitimacy of that claim is not in question, in fact Mr Clegg has agreed to repay the 100 over the annual limit he inadvertently claimed. Cleggs 160 per month gardening costs raised a few eyebrows but I can vouch for the expensive nature of garden maintenance having recently paid a hit man 5000 to impale our gardener here at Thorpe towers after he became a bit too enthusiastic about pruning my favourite Buddleia. If only we could, for 5,000, get someone to impale Douglas Hogg or Margaret Moran (Lab. Lootin South) who claimed her partners house in Southampton as the second home when it is further from her Bedfordshire constiuency than her first home or Westminster.

The Liberal Democrats have been enjoying a surge of popularity in recent weeks as the angry punters turned on the main parties. Unfortunately ever since they were just The plain vanilla Liberals has had an unerring knack of turning lacklustre mediocrity into thundering ineptitude just as their rivals were making lacklustre mediocrity look appealing.

Top Of PageThe Daily StirrerMore ComedyHomeBoggart Blog DailyA Tale Told By An Idiot

Revenge On The Trouser Snake A word of warning to the boys, we know you have to sit on the loo, but it could be best to look before you dump. A chap went off to the loo, presumably with the Sunday paper for a nice, long, commune with nature...

CLICK HERE to read Revenge On The Trouser Snake>

The Feeding Of The Fifty Million Conservative and independent critics of the freespending ways of Barack Obama and his Magic band are wondering how the three and a half trillion dollars the new President has already committed itself to spending can possibly...
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The Feeding Of The Fifty Million From A Bag OShite To A Chandelier And Back.
Ian R Thorpe 11 May 2009

Yesterdays report on the Bag OShite MPs expenses scandal concluded with the promise we would bring you further and even more astounding revelations about the bizarre expenses claims made by Members of Parliament.

Today we honour our promise.

Sir Michael Spicer (Con, Rawtenborough South) successfully claimed the cost of having a chandelier hung at his Manor House which he insists is his second home despite its having been in the family for about 3,000 years.

Sir Michael also claimed 5,600 over a period of nine months for gardening costs. The claim is insufficiently detailed for us to discern how much of this was due to labour costs and how much he paid per Bag OShite.

James Arbuthnot (aka The Hon. James Nigel Jeremy Rupert PonsonbyTwat Arbuthnot claimed 2,700 last year for work on trees. Asked if he was aware of the rule stating: Claims must only be made for expenditures necessary to enable members to perform their duties properly, Arbuthnot told our reporter: How dare you question me, you despicable little oik, shouldnt you be down a coal mine or something?

The worst case of abuse of the system so far however is the claim submitted by Douglas Hogg, agriculture secretary in the last Conservative Government. He expected us poor taxpayers to pay for having the moat, YES, MOAT!!! around his castle cleaned.

When challenged by a Boggart Blog reporter about how he could possibly think this was a legitimate expense, this is what he said:

Of course it is fair, Since this wretched Labour government abolished fox hunting the local meet have had to hunt chavs instead. After the hunt they throw the dead bodies in the moat. The stink is becoming intolerable.

Taxpayers also forked out for maintenance work in the stables of Hoggs country home which brings us nicely back to the Bag OShite issue.

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Senior Conservative Claims Dog Food On Expenses.
by Ian R Thorpe
The details of MPs dodgy expenses claims continue to land on the Boggart Blog News Desk 24 hours a day. Our reporters are on round the clock alert to bring you...
CLICK HERE to read Senior Conservative Claims Dog Food On Expenses.

Bare Faced Cheek
by fatsally

It goes from bad to worse for Gordon the Terrible. Having been thoroughly out-manoeuvred by Patsy and her Gurkha friends, the PM spent the weekend reading about his ministers sometimes fanciful expenses claims. Then to cap it all...
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Forget Pork Barrels, this is bag oshite politics.
by Ian R Thorpe

While we all sit back to watch the news and enjoy the witch hunt of Labour ministers over their eccies, from Jaqui Smiths 89p bath plug to Barbara Follets....
CLICK HERE to read Forget Pork Barrels, this is bag oshite politics.

How Shite Are Sats Tests?
We have had a discussion going on over on Little Nicky Machiavelli about the validity of SATS test, the government's pestilential league tables and the teachers' threat to boycott them. So:
How Shite Are SATS tests?

Surprise! Sex Does Not Sell Computer Games.
You might think computer games are one of the most obvious examples that the adage "sex sells" is not just an advertising industry cliche but a universal truth. Not so, sex does not actually sell computer games - at least not if it is the kind of sex that involves real woment or even realistic looking avatars.

Action Man, Johnny Gurka and Joanna
More on the story of fair treatment for Gurka veterans. They are to get an action man figure

Conspiracy Theory Of The Month - Dumbing Down
Ian Thorpe.

humour, satire education, politics, war

The Conspiracy Theory of the Month feature kicks off with Dumbing Down. A stupid population is a compliant population so what better way for the New World Order brigade to strip people of their rights, liberties and the ability to think for themselves than by first making everybody stupid. The decline of education and its replacement by coaching to examination, the homogenisation of the media, all could be parts of a giant conspiracy to take us back to the days when ordinary people could be sent put in a very deep hole for breaking wind in front of a gentleman. The gentleman had a divine right to fart first.

Holy Hibernation Batman
Ian R Thorpe
6 May 2009
Have the caped crusaders been beaten at last? Will a new disease than has been wiping out bat colonies across America and led to all Bat Caves being closed and boarded up finally put the Dynamic Duo out of action and left the streets of Gotham City without protection from the mendacious miscreants who prey on honest citizens? And what will happen when the disease wiping out bats jumps to humans? It's another opportunity for the government to spread Fear and Panic.

50 Sarko Wants To Emulate The Stink That Was Rome.
Ian R Thorpe

All politicians lose the plot eventually with the exceptions perhaps of Tony Blair, Margaret Thatcher and Barack (Im President of the whole Universe and everything else besides) Obama all of whom were barking mad on assuming office...
Some are born bonkers, some achieve bonkersness and some have bonkersness thrust upon them as Shakespeare might have said. Though still clinically sane we are assured, French President Nicolas Sarkozy seems to be getting close to the...
To read full post Sarko Wants To Emulate The Stink That Was Rome.CLICK HERE

Cameron, Clegg and Lumley
by ian R Thorpe
I know they sound like a legal practice in Barnoldswick but Conservative leaders David Cameron, the Liberal Democrats Nick Shagger Clegg and Joanna (Patsy from Absolutely Fabulous) Lumley, still looking absolutely fabulous at sixty something, have been collaboration to embarrass Gordon Brown. Shifty Gordon had tried to shaft the Gurkas, those Nepalese regiments that for historic reasons are part of the British Army. The Gurkas have been asking quite politely for the right to settle in Britain after serving the nation for twenty years in...
To read full post Cameron. Clegg and Lumley CLICK HERE

Anti Ageing Properties of Any Old Gloop Scientifically Proved.
by Ian R Thorpe
On seeing in the news today that began with the words Boots anti-ageing treatment my first reaction was to turn the page and look for something funny in the Swine Flu coverage. A product to keep boots in pristine condition is probably very welcome to some people but I wear trainers and would have no use for it. To raed full post on The Anti Ageing Properties Of Any Old Gloop CLICK HERE

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