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It's Life Craig, But Not As We Know It.
Since the publication of Frankenstein and maybe before that it has been the ambition of many scientists to discover the science of life itself and thus create new life in the laboratory. Now modern adances in delusional thinking have led science to move beyond dreams into the realms of fantasy fiction and claim they have created artificial life when they have not.

It's Life Craig, But Not As We Know It
by Ian R Thorpe
2010-05-22
CREATIVE COMMONS: Attribute, non commercial, no derivs.
KEYWORDS: artificial, life, science, scientist, biology, dna, organism, clone, genome, patent, money, humour, humor, satire

American Biologist Dr. Craig Venter(stein) claims he has created artificial life in a test tube. Venter and his team have built an artificial genome and implanted it into a bacteria. Naturally the team, because they are Americans remember and Americans are addicted to four things; hyperbole, the internet, recreational drugs, fast food and.... American are addicted to five things.... Among the many things Americans are addicted to as well as hyperbole are fame, success and money. Therefore we should reduce everything they say by a factor of 1000.

OK, what is a realists assessment of what Venter has done?

Well he has not created life for a start. He has merely taken a living organism and meddled with its genome. Geneticists have been doing this for many years in their research into preventing hereditary diseases. Next, can his creation truly be described as "life." Just as computer scientists in their eagerness to convince the world of the possibility of true artificial intelligence have tried to redefine intelligence, to equate thought to an ability to parse and filter vast amounts of data very quickly, so Venter's team have adopted a very restricted definition of what life is. They have created a self replicating organism but laboratories have been creating self replicating polymers for some time so again nothing new.

To put Venter's modus operandi in perspective this is the greedy, money grubbing twat who tried to patent the human genome after claiming (falsely - but he's fucking Yank, all mouth and no trousers) to have been the first to decode it. For the record the multinational team that were actually the first to decode the human genome decided not to try to patent it because it belongs to the world and indeed understanding of how our genes work could benefit all human kind greatly. Venter was only interested in how much money he could make from his "invention" so we think that proves he's a total piece of shit and we should all sue the greedy fucker for a billion dollars each for trying to steal the blueprint to our genes.

In the case of this new "breakthrough" which as we said is no different to things other less vain, less egomaniacal biologists have been doing for a while Venter hopes by fooling politicians and bureaucrats into believing that by reinventing the wheel he has made a scientific breakthrough that will transform the future of humanity for which he hopes to net a cool $1 trillion. One Trillion Dollars - do you see any similarities with Dr. Evil here?

We should dismiss this fraud now, ridicule his false claims and belittle his bogus science. He's just a wannabe celebrity in a white coat. Or a practicioner of scientific onanism maybe

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BBC Comedy

BBC Comedy Blog
Updated : Tue, 28 Aug 2012 09:53:42 +0000

The Thick of It Returns

 

Armando Iannucci's award-winning political comedy series The Thick Of It returns to BBC Two this autumn.

Coalition rows take their place alongside Government embarrassment, ministerial cock-ups, backroom deals, policy U-turns, spin-doctoring, political back-stabbing and wild media speculation

Roger Allam returns as Peter Mannion MP, the new Secretary of State for The Department of Social Affairs and Citizenship (DOSAC), supported by his team of special advisors, commanded by Number 10's Director of Communications Stewart Pearson (Vincent Franklin) and thwarted by his new Coalition partner, DOSAC's Junior Minister Fergus Williams MP (Geoffrey Streatfeild).

BAFTA award winners Rebecca Front and Peter Capaldi reprise their roles as Nicola Murray MP and foul-mouthed spin doctor Malcolm Tucker, both now consigned to the Opposition. The ensemble cast is completed by Chris Addison, Joanna Scanlan, James Smith, Olivia Poulet, Will Smith, Ben Willbond, and Rebecca Gethings.

Armando Iannucci says that this series takes us into exciting and uncharted territory: "A new Coalition Government, and Malcolm and Nicola fretting in the wings. For the first time too a storyline takes us all the way through the series right to the bitter, bitter end, with Government and Opposition convulsed in an incident that questions every political convention imaginable, but in a funny way."

BBC Two Controller Janice Hadlow says she is delighted to welcome it back, "A new Coalition government, what better time for a new series of The Thick Of It?"

Head of Comedy Mark Freeland is excited to see The Thick Of It return too - "No other show could coin the term 'Omnishambles' and see it become part of the political lexicon."


Publ.Date : Thu, 12 Jul 2012 07:00:00 +0000

David Walliams' Mr Stink Comes to BBC One
 

"Mr Stink stank. He also stunk. And if it was correct English to say he stinked,
then he stinked as well…"

David Walliams' best-selling children's novel Mr Stink is set to come alive as a comedy drama for all the family on BBC One later this year.

The touching, twisted and hilarious tale tells of Mr Stink, who is befriended by a local girl Chloe. Chloe sees Mr Stink every day, but she's never spoken to him, which isn't surprising, because he's a tramp, and he stinks.

 

When it looks like Mr Stink might be driven out of town, Chloe hides her unusual friend in her garden shed. As she struggles to make sure no one sniffs out Mr Stink, her dad tries to hide a secret of his own, and the stage is set for an epic family confrontation. There is also one other person with an extraordinary secret: it turns out that there is more to Mr Stink than meets the eye… or nose.

David Walliams, who will play the role of the Prime Minister in the show, says: "I am beyond thrilled that BBC One is adapting my children's book 'Mr Stink' into a family film. I have written the script, and can't wait to see actors bring it to life." BBC One Controller Danny Cohen added: "Mr Stink is a heart-warming, nose-clenching and funny tale which will appeal to viewers of all ages. It's brilliant to be working with David to bring his magical tale to BBC One." Mark Freeland, Head of Comedy, finishes the stinky love-in by saying: "I am delighted that the BBC is continuing its relationship with the multi-talented David Walliams. Mr Stink has become an instant classic and it's so exciting to see it come to life on TV. Both my children would echo that. But then they both want parts, so…"


Publ.Date : Tue, 21 Feb 2012 08:00:00 +0000

Comedy and Multiplatform

 

Up in Edinburgh, the BBC's College of Production (COP) has been talking to comedians about online shennanigans. The COP's Catherine Scott writes...


Yesterday saw four of comedy's bright new stars share their thoughts on how to be 'funny and multiplatform', during BBC College of Production's live podcast from the BBC Edinburgh Festival base in Potterow. The panel consisted of Daniel Berg, the comedy writer and developer who specialises in viral video, Bec Hill, named one of the "Top 10 Funniest Comedians on Twitter", Arron Ferguson of alternative comedy duo Not The Adventures of Moleman and Iván González, one half of Foster's Edinburgh Comedy Award 2011-winning duo Max and Ivan.

Prolific Tweeter Bec Hill told us how she started using online platforms simply to share her comedy sketches and cartoons with her friends, and was pleasantly surprised when it snowballed into a 3000+ Twitter following. Bec also noted that her online audience has grown much faster than her live audience – "I've reached 100,000 views on YouTube, I certainly haven’t got that in Edinburgh yet!".

Daniel Berg's passion for viral videos was evident when a strong gust of Scottish wind blasted through the pink tent and he remarked "Film that, that'll go viral!". Daniel spoke of how social media and online platforms give new acts the chance for exposure without the need to be commissioned. When wrangling with the shorter attention span of the internet audience, Daniel’s advice to comedians was "Keep your content topical, and keep it short."

Ivan Gonzalez sang the praises of online platforms such as YouTube for giving comedians creative control, and also gave a shout-out to BBC's iPlayer and Feed My Funny for allowing viewers to access comedy outside the restrictions of viewing schedules. Like Bec Hill, Ivan also enjoys the immediacy of 140 character jokes on Twitter – and if the #EdFest feed this week is anything to go by, so do a lot of us (“Just been to a lecture on how to build a ship. Riveting!")

Arron Ferguson's two-man sketch troupe Not The Adventures of Moleman actually began as a solely online act, only venturing out onto the live circuit once they had built a large online following. Noting that "some people think you need to be live to be comedians", Arron pointed out that a lot of NTAOM's sketches actually work better online, because film can provide subtle shots that might be missed in onstage comedy. Arron also gave us possibly the most useful piece of advice on treating online platforms with respect – "Don’t use Twitter to invite all your fans to KFC!"

Although the public passion for live comedy gigs remains strong, any new comedian entering the industry should remember that there is a plethora of other options available to them for making their name and getting their work out there. It might take a while to build up 100,000 hits on YouTube or 1000 followers on Twitter, but as our guests concluded “As long as you’re having fun, that's what matters."

Listen to the full podcast.

Follow College of Production @BBCCop


Publ.Date : Thu, 23 Aug 2012 13:48:00 +0000

It's Kevin

If you were visitng the internet yesterday, you may have heard about our new show for 2013 It's Kevin, starring and written by comedian Kevin Eldon.

You may have heard that it's sketches, it's songs, it's characters, it's guests, and it's a man who's old enough to know better mucking about, with help from a number of his comedy friends.

What you have probably not heard until reading it just now is that you can watch a clip from the show as a taste of things to come right here, right now!

 It's Kevin: The Perspective Twins

In order to see this content you need to have both Javascript enabled and Flash installed. Visit BBC Webwise for full instructions. If you're reading via RSS, you'll need to visit the blog to access this content.


Publ.Date : Tue, 19 Jun 2012 15:30:00 +0000

Comedy Talent Search - Laugh Track

BBC Comedy Commissioning and BBC Writersroom have joined forces for a second nationwide talent search to find new comedy gold. If you have a big studio sitcom brewing in your mind and can tell original stories, invent characters and catchphrases that can make a live audience laugh, then send in your script.

This is an opportunity not to be missed - you may get the chance of your work performed at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival and at our Sitcom Showcase at the Studio in MediaCity, Salford. You could also be in line for a comedy masterclass on how to write studio sitcoms, plus an intensive week away developing your idea hand-in-hand with BBC comedy producers and established comedy writing talent.

 

The amazing Dawn French will be on the panel of judges. Cheryl Taylor (Controller, Comedy Commissioning), who judged last year's BBC writersroom comedy talent search says: "I was thrilled last year by the number of very funny and original scripts that we were asked to judge. It was a pleasure to read all of the short listed projects as was having the opportunity to meet some of their very talented authors."

The deadling for entries is Wednesday, 21 March 2012. For information on how to enter, visit the Writersroom website.


Publ.Date : Thu, 02 Feb 2012 13:52:39 +0000


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Daily Mash

The Daily Mash
Updated : Tue, 21 Apr 2015 09:45:03 +0000

Young non-voter simply cannot be arsed
A 21-YEAR-OLD student has refused to make any tiresome excuses for not voting.
Publ.Date : Mon, 20 Apr 2015 07:49:57 +0000

Open plan restaurants ‘not delivering enough chef carnage’
CHEFS working in open plan kitchens should have more amusing painful mishaps, according to restaurant customers.
Publ.Date : Tue, 21 Apr 2015 09:36:04 +0000

I just want you to be happy, Sturgeon tells Miliband
ED Miliband and Nicola Sturgeon have once again failed to fully explore their emotional wants and needs.
Publ.Date : Fri, 17 Apr 2015 08:31:28 +0000

Old white men to be able to do whatever they like
OLD white men are to behave as they please unless it affects other old white men.
Publ.Date : Fri, 17 Apr 2015 09:52:16 +0000

UKIP funded by massive tits
RICHARD Desmond has boosted UKIP's election campaign with a £1m donation generated by breasts.
Publ.Date : Fri, 17 Apr 2015 06:52:45 +0000


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The noises coming out of the meeting room where officials from Greece were in talks with EU finance ministers sounded positive. Greek talks with their creditors have ended badly however for the desperately cash-strapped nation.

Climate Change and Leftist Psycological Malware.
It may seem far fetched but it is possible to link the techniques of the climate change / anti capitalist lobby to the brainwashing prorammes used by the Nazis in Germany, Stalin's Soviet regime in Russia and Chaitrman Mao's brutal government in Communist China. Thus it becomes quite similar to malware that infects computer systems. The left do not care about saving the planet, all they are interested in is advancing their totalitarian, globalist agenda.

Libya, Syria, Yemen: Sectarian conflict threatens entire Middle East
Another failure of US foreign policy leads to threat of war as a coalition of 10 Sunni Arab states launches a military offensive against Shiite Houthi militants in Yemen, recently proclaimed by America’s president as a brilliant example of war on terror, but now catapulting the Middle East into the inferno of battle.

Obama's Terrible Trade Pact Is a Scam That Must Be Stopped Says Jim Hightower
Having written a book on the evil trade treaty that will transform the democratic nations into corporate oligarchies, we step aside and hand the baton to Jim Hightower of Alternet who is equally outraged about the iniquities of TTIP's equally evil twin, TPP.

"I'm Not Stupid" Monsanto Lobbyist Refuses To Drink Weedkiller After Proclaiming "It Won't Hurt You"
The glib claim backfired however when the Monsanto lobbyist was offered a glass of diluted Roundup (active ingredient Glyphosate) and asked to drink it.
"Do you think I'm stupid, " the lobbyist blustered ...

Rotherham Child Sex Abuse Probe Puts 42 Police Officers Under Invesitigation
allegations against police officers include neglect of duty by failing to adequately investigate on the basis of evidence or to deal with incidents appropriately, inappropriate comments and evidence of corrupt relationships between police officers and offenders.

U.S. versus Russia War: Top Russian Politics Scolar Stephen Cohen Tells The Truth
We have been blogging for four years about the US drive for war, provocation of Russia in Syria, Iraq, Ukraine and elsewhere made it obvious. But I'm just a news junkie with a strong sense of curiosity and have wondered why the US seems set on this course. Good to see experts like Stephen Cohen, a prominent expert on, Russia are coming onside.

Google Meets White House Officials Every Week, Why?
We have been very suspicious for ten years of the way Google with such apparent ease achieved a dominant position in web search. How did it happen, did Google do something evil, did they invoke the powers of darkness in their meteoric rise. Or were there even darker forces at work, powering Google to a position in which their internet technologies could dominate global information flows? Here's something cynics should read.

Venezuela's President Maduro Accuses USA Of Psychological Warfare
Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro has accused forces in the United States, Colombia, and Spain of waging an international “psychological war campaign” against his country. Barack Obama is behind a psychological war campaign to justify a coup in Venezuela said Maduro (who is not known for emotional restraint in his speeches) as he presented the results of the CELAC meeting in Costa Rica and elaborated on one of the grandest conspiracy theories yet proposed by his government.

The US House of Representatives Openly Calls for Regime Change in Moscow
Aside from Washington's usual lust for war, and the enthusiasm of American politicians to act as cheerleaders for death and destruction (so as to secure their billions in military industrial complex campaign donations, (graft, bungs, slush money, payola), a key part of a new bill before the House of Representatives which calls for lethal aid to Ukraine, has nothing to do with Ukraine at all.

Banning Cash Will Stop Terrorism (and end war, poverty, disease and bad smells)
The cashless society has been talked of for a long time by worshippers of authority, science fanboys, supporters of left wing politics and other people who think that nice Mr. Hitler had some good ideas really, but leading the race to ban cash because it is an aid to terrorism is the extereme right wing National Socialist regime in France.

Stupidity Of America's Lust For War With Russia
We have reported many times on the American attempts to provoke Russia's leader Vladimir Putin in the hope that Puting will then fire the first shot in the war the USA so desperately needs to revive its failed economy, unify its dysfunctional society and restore is to the position of dominant global superpower ...

TThe Idea Of An Infinite Universe Is Fashionable Again
The now little discussed (due to the witch hunt tactics employed by the scientific consensus gangsters) idea of an infinite, eternal, self renewing universe makes a lot more sense than a point at which everything suddenly materialises out of nothing.

Free Speech Is Being Murdered By The Media And Left Wing Authoritarianism
Without free speech there is no democracy. Without democracy there is no freedom. But all over the developed world free speech is under attack from politically correct politics. It is time to start resisting, do not believe the propaganda published by mainstream media, question everything and make up your own mind. as The Buddha said, "Believe nothing you read or are told unless it agrees with your own experience and common sense."

To Infinity And Beyond - Big Bang Theory Trashed?
One 'scientific fact' Little Nicky has challenged in the past is Big Bang Theory. I have lost count of the times that having offered proof that Big Bang is not a fact, the universe is in reality infinite I have become involved in thousand - comment threads in which the arguments of the Big Bang sceptics were contradicted by science tits screeching, "It is a fact because we say it is."

De - dollarization Moves Ahead - Once Again We Told You So.
Add the IMF to the (now long) list of those who apparently share the UK’s view that joining the China-led Asian Infrastructure Investment Bank is an “unrivaled opportunity,” as Christine Largarde says her institution not only sees a “massive” opportunity for cooperation with the AIIB but is also “delighted” to explore the possibilities.

World Domination Freak Bill Gathes Appeals For World Government
In a recent interview with the German magazine “Süddeutsche Zeitung“, Bill Gates, son of a CIA director and the New World Order's 'made man' uttered some highly sinister comments in support of abolishing democracy and nationhood in favour of world government.

Another Reason To Get Out Of EU. UKIP MEP Hits Out At Fishing Policy That Penalises British Fishing Crews
As the General Election campaign starts to heat up, we try to shift focus away from the squabbling between Conservative and Labour about who can make the most promises they have no intention of keeping and to the real issues concerning jobs, social breakdown , mass immigration, and an often overlooked area in which our EU membership has perhaps done more damage than any other, the fishing industry.

German Ubermacht Gives Greek Upstats The Finger In European Union Confrontation. The confrontation between Germany, which some say sees itself as the increasingly dominant nation in the EU as 'ever closer integration' progresses, and Greece, the Euro zone economic basket case but a proud and independent nation all the same, had to come. Germany was more austerity from Greece to protect the value of the Greek debt it hold. Greece want money from Germany to settle old grievances.

France Moves to Make ‘Conspiracy Theories’ Illegal by Government Decree
Political elites and super-bureaucrats must be very worried. New start up political parties, dismissed as populist byt in reality listening to the concerns of voters are making inroads into the political status quo. New media investigative journalists and op-ed writers are challenging the official propaganda (and gaining an ever bigger audience). It’s becoming harder to control consensus reality.

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