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How To Be A Bigot
Gordon Brown's dismissal or a voters concerns about immigration, jobs, crime and government debt as bigoted took the election campaign into a new zone. Now the labour, conservative and liberal democrat leaders can really go for each others throats. Bring it on

How To Be A Bigot
by Ian R Thorpe
2010-04-29
CREATIVE COMMONS: Attribute, non commercial, no derivs.
KEYWORDS: bigot,gordon,brown,election,politics,clegg-cameron,labour, liberal democrat, conservative, debate, humour, humor

How To Be A Bigot - A DIY Guide To Politics

Yesterday when Gordon Brown accused Mrs Ordinary of Number 5 Ordinary Street, Rochdale of being bigoted he effectively took control of the election and made it clear to everybody involved in this election you either agree with New Labour or you are a bigot. Now you punters may have been under the impression that you are entitled to your opinion and your right of free speech entitles you to express that opinion and question those in power.

How very wrong you are, Labour has not been in power for thirteen years without succeeding in changing some things and your right to think for yourself is one of them.

Mrs Ordinary in Rochdale made the mistake of assuming she still had the right to say what she thought when instead of heaping praise of Gordon Brown for all the wonderful things he has done over the past thirteen years that have given us the best economy in the world, abolished sickness, death and child poverty, given out such lavish benefits that nobody has to work unless they want to and everybody in the world would like to come and live in Britain and generally spreading a little happiness wherever he goes she asked him WTF he is doing about unemployment, the economy, debt, climate change, crime and immigration.

Naturally Gordon was exasperated. He and his New Labour cronies have told us many times these things are not problems because the government and their tame advisers have had lots of meetings and solved everything on paper and it is only the right wing press and extremist nutters who will not accept that.

What Mrs Ordinary had done however was bring to the fore all the topics the Government (and the opposition parties) did not want to discuss before the election simply because ordinary people are not intelligent enough to understand them. It was quite understandable then that The Prime Minister lost his rag. How dare an ordinary person challenge a member of the political elite and a member of the New Labour elite of elites, it was an outrage. Only a bigot would do such a thing. Everyone who is not a bigot knows it is the most extreme form of bigotry to question the New Labour elite of elites because it is common knowledge that New Labour politicians are politically correct and thus cannot be wrong about anything.

Gordon Brown' response to Mrs Ordinary voicing her bigoted opinions was very clever. What he has done now is sideline the Conservatives and Liberal Democrats and let everyone know this election is being fought between the enlightened, politically correct heroes of New Labour and the dark forces of bigotry. You either support Mr. Brown's government or you are a bigot, it is as simple as that.

If you have not yet chosen which side you want to be on but are leaning towards being a bigot because you like the ideas of thinking for yourself and speaking your mind and you support the very bigoted idea of respecting other peoples' right to have their own opinions here is a Do It Yourself test to show if you are a true bigot or if you should return to the sheepfold and support New Labour.

You are a bigot if:

You think immigration levels are too high (racist bigot)

You are sick of hearing about "gay rights (homophobic bigot)

You think climate scientists should be scrutinized as closely as financial derivatives treaders (climate change denying bigot)

You think government spending is way too high and talk of an economic recovery is hogwash (Conservative bigot)

You think the police have lost control of the streets and abandoned crime fighting to become collectors of selective taxes ( alarmist bigot)

You think the government is hiding how bad unemployment really is by creating phoney public sector jobs and sponsoring pointless training courses ( Capitalist bigot)

You are a "right on" supporter of New Labour and the politically correct thought police if:

You believe whatever Peter Mandelson tells you to believe

You believe that your (Peter Mandelson's) opinions are the only ones that should be heard because anything different is bigoted

You believe that questioning the government on the economy, crime, immigration, debt, public spending or anything else should be a crime.

You believe that questioning climate change science should be a capital offence like holocaust denial

You believe economic recovery is steaming ahead thanks to New Labour and Gordon Brown's brilliant stewardship of the economy.

You believe that five more years of Peter Mandelson running the government is what the country needs to get back on track

You believe that anyone who disagrees with you about anything is a bigot.

On May 6th use your vote wisely.

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