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Terry The Tiger Or Not
Why have we let the whose hilariously sordid John Terry affair and all those opportunities for puns like “you just don’t expect defenders to score that often” pass with only one brief comment...Tiger Woods cultivated his image and so deserved the public downfall. But John Terry? In a profession that expects its Sunday Roast served in Agent Provocateur lingerie rather than...

Is It Terry The Tiger Or Not?
by Ian R Thorpe
2010-02-08
CREATIVE COMMONS: Attribute, non commercial, no derivs.
KEYWORDS: news, sport, sex, scandal, John Terry, Tiger Woods, infidelity, affair, humour, humor, satire, blog

Why has Boggart Blog let the whose hilariously sordid John Terry affair and all those opportunities for puns like “you just don’t expect defenders to score that often” pass with only one brief comment from fatsally last week you might well ask.

To be honest it’s an editorial policy of ours not to report non – stories and “Footballer shags best mate’s wife is about as newsworthy as all the other stories we decided not to feature in recent weeks, among them:
Katie Price gets tits out,
Lawyer cheats client,
Politicians tell lies,
Doctor prescribes medicine,
Amy Winehouse gets drunk,
Cliff Richard stays in closet,
Dog bites man,
Fat Bloke eats pie.

The John Terry affair has however obsessed the type of news organisations that do not set themselves the rigorously high standards we abide by. One thing that is becoming interesting though is the similarity with the Tiger Woods scandal. You may remember world No. 1 golfer Tiger’s sex addiction gave a new dimension to the words, “Back in a couple of hours darling, I’m just going to the club to get in a quick nine holes.”

Infidelity happens, it always has and it always will so why is it newsworthy? Maybe it is because most often those whose publicists build the image of a clean living, dedicated professional and role models for the young or the people who trade on their pretensions of moral superiority are the ones that get caught with their pants down most often. The clean living sport professional like Tiger Woods, the politician who talks about family values and then is photographed wearing a bondage harness with stiletto heeled shoes and a gimp mask as he waits to be entertained by Madame Whiplash, the preacher whose hellfire and damnation sermons are undermined by his visits to a rent boy have all brought trouble on themselves.

In truth few sport pros do set themselves up as role models. Why should we assume that a talent for kicking a ball or hitting things with a stick confers some sort of obligation to be morally virtuous. Rock drummers are notorious for being the most depraved members of the band yet they hit things with sticks for a living. It is a proven fact that being physically fit boosts the libiodo so why do we expect people whose job demands that they are physically fit to be deficient in horniness hormones?

Tiger Woods, the politician and the preacher we mentioned had all cultivated their image and so deserved the public downfall. But John Terry, come on. In a profession that expects its Sunday Roast served in Agent Provocateur lingerie rather than with potatoes, cabbage and gravy his behaviour is not particularly appalling. Who says the Captain of the England football team has to be a paragon of virtue?

A Premiership player’s extra marital affairs are no more newsworthy than the gruntings of Billy the Builder and Tracey the Tesco Till Operator. They are just human beings unlike Tiger Woods who was happy to go along with a narrative that morphed him into a semi divine hero.

Perhaps this unfortunate trend is connected with the celebrity culture or the pretence that the ritual humiliations of "reality television" shows like "I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here" are harmless fun rather than a cynical attempt to appeal to the baser instincts in the way that Roman circuses did.

You may wonder what has happened with Tiger now. The last we heard he was spending time in a sex clinic. Weren’t they formerly known as brothels?

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