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SAS - Satnav Antipathic Soldiers and The Misadventures Of Suzie From The Isle Of Skye
Boggart Blog loves Sat Nav stories. We love all stories that make those people trying to turn science into a religion and make technology one of its idols look stupid. Not that we are against science and technology, we are simply against the kind of people who try to tell us what we can and can't think. And if we give up map reading slikks and the power to think for ourelves then when the machines go wrong as sat nav often does, we're fucked. As a young friend of ours found out.

SAS - Satnav Antipathic Soldiers and The Misadventures Of Suzie From The Isle Of Skye
by Ian R Thorpe
2010-11-18
CREATIVE COMMONS: Attribute, non commercial, no derivs.
KEYWORDS: sat nav, satellite, navigation, technology, science, computer, Hull, Leeds, Wales, machine, satire, humour, humor

This is a trueish but highly embellished version of something that happened to one of Cleo Hart's friends. Cleo is travelling at the moment.

As all our regular readers know we Boggart Bloggers are great fans of all whacky and totally unnecessary technologies and Sat Nav systems especially. Sat Nav seems to lead the field in providing an expensive, complicated, extremely fallible and irritating way of performing a function that should be simple and free. If you want to drive from London to Leeds and don't mind going via Bristol, Aberystwith, Preston Gubbals, Carlisle, Burton on Trent and Wigan or being rescued from mountain torrents, bogs, feral chavs in Blackbird Leys or a snowdrift outside Kiruna and having to face the ridicule of your friends down the pub trust your Sat Nav. If however you just want to get from London to Leeds without much fuss simply drive round the M25 until you see signs for M1, Watford, The North. Follow them and keep following signs for The North. Ignore your Sat Nav' yelling that you should take the next exit. It will only lead you eventually to the A666, the road to hell. Actually the A666 runs from Bolton to Blackburn so for most people is probably the road to somewhere worse than Hell. Leeds is at the other end of the M1 from London. Just stay on the M1. Easy peasy.

So why do we cruel, sarcastic bastards love Sat Nav?

Because of the blind faith that people who buy one have in their system and the way that when things have gone so badly wrong blind faith is no longer enough the childlike trust they show that their parent - surrogate gadget will somehow make things alright.

At this time of year our esteemed colleague Cleo Hart and numerous others set off for The Alps to work in ski resorts throughout the season. Most make the long and arduous trek via London and the M25 (gridlocked 24 / 7 because of sat nav users driving at 5mph while scratching their heads and saying "This doesn't look much like the Lake District) to Dover for the short, unpleasant crossing on the regular cattle ship to Calais.

Cleo however, tipped off by her dear old Dad who knows about these things, heads from Lancashire across to Hull (just get on the M62 and head east (the opposite way to Liverpool) until you come to the North Sea Ferries terminal or drive into the water off Spurn Head. Even easier than peasy.

Several of the others now use the northern crossing, its an easier drive in the UK, a more comfortable crossing with a good meal, a pleasant evening and a good night's sleep on the ferry and a better route across France. So last year another girl from northern parts, let's call her Suzie from the Isle of Skye thought it would be a good move for her too. Western Scotland to Hull sounded easy. At the time Suzie was seeing a soldier, a member of and elite regiment (we are a bit sceptical about the veracity of this claim, members of this elite regiment as well as being trained to jump out of planes, navigate by the sun and stars, live on a diet of worms, beetles and dandelion leaves and light fires by rubbing two boy scouts together are trained to read maps.

Suzie's soldier friend approved on her idea and volunteered to programme the sat nav for her. Great, who could be better equipped to program map references into a sat nav than a man trained to find his way round barren, featureless deserts and tundras? Surely Suzie could not go wrong if she just relied on her sat nav.

Suzie missed Hull, in fact she ended up in Wales Not just the civilised bit of Wales that joins on to Cheshire or the Wales, populated by Gavin and Stacy, Charlotte Church and the only gay in the village but Welsh wales where it is a crime to speak English and those things that look like basketwork garden ornaments can be assembled in a matter of minutes into a wicker man. A combination of blind faith, childlike trust in the parenting skills of inanimate machines and her boyfriend's ignorance of maps and references, the cardinal points of the compass, left and right and the difference between his arse and his elbow led to her turning right instead of left and driving past all the signs printed with red dragons and pointing to towns with names like Llanfairpwyllgwillgynn-bibble-yibble-yibble-yibble-llantisiliogochgochgoch give or take the odd goch without realising she had a problem. Maybe it was because the signs were printed in two languages, Welsh and Ogham (the secret language of The Druids)

Now in our house we think we have an idea how this might have happened. You see we know a young person who some years ago was headed from Lancashire to Sheffield and phoned home in a panic to say. "Help, I think I've taken a wrong turning and ended up in Wales, I've just passed a sign for Pontefract . Maybe the sat nav logic had made a similar mistake and interpreted "continue past signs for Pontefract" as "follow the shortest route to Pontypridd". We shall never know however.

The problem for our lovely lass Suzie from the Isle of Skye was not so subtle. She was still following her sat nav's orders and desperately trying to convince herself the device was taking her via a shortcut to Holyhead which must be near Hull as they both start with H. For Suzie, even though the blacktop road had become a muddy track several miles ago blind faith had been replaced by childlike trust in the machine. When the muddy track became a verdant Welsh hillside even childlike trust gave out. Suzie stopped and got out of the car only to be confronted by a Welsh farmer who spoke in Welsh, not saying "Iached Da (pron. Yakki da) young lady, do you need any help" but something she guessed from the way he was pointing a shotgun sat her meant "GET ORF MOI LAAAAAAAAAND".

Suzie did get to France eventually after spending several weeks in a clinic where she was given post traumatic stress therapy.

From this shocking sat nav story of betrayal we learn several things:

(1) When driving from West Scotland to Hull it is a good idea to turn left somewhere no matter what the sat nav is telling you.

(2) Sat nav is useless, whatever it tells you, do the opposite.

(3) We are not going to win the Afghan war for the simple reason that when our elite soldiers' were sent to flush the Taliban out of the Hindu Kush their map reading skills caused them to end up running round Patagonia.

(4) Never listen to the kind of techieheads, webbyheads, sciencyheads and other pointyheads who try to tell you machines are smarter than we are. Machines are unthnking automatons and people who think they will ever be intelligent are cunts.

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White Girl Is Burned Alive, 17 Black Gang Members Arrested. Mainstream Media Blanks The Story Remember how the Social Justice Warriors of the politically correct 'left' screamed when a young black man named Trayvon Martin was shot by Hispanic George Zimmerman, because it was assumed someone named Zimmerman would be white? Remember how they wailed and stirred up civil unrest when a black man was shot by white cops in Ferguson, Missouri, automatically assuming the the killing was racially motivated. more >>>

The University Formerly Known As Cardiff Polytechnic Published List Of Forbidden Words Cardiff Metropolitan University formerly known as Cardiff Polytechnic may not be a seat of learning on a par with Oxford, Cambridge, Heidelberg, The Sorbonne or Princeton but when it comes to politically correct idiocy it is at the right up there with Harvard, Uppsala, University of California or The London school of Economics more>>>

Things Are Getting crazier In USA As Trump Supporters Push Back Against Obamas Silent Coup

A congressional investigation has revealed that the Obama administration channeled billions of dollars to activist groups through a Department of Justice slush fund scheme. “It’s clear partisan politics played a role in the illicit actions that were made,” Republican Representative John Ratcliffe of Texas told Fox News. “The DOJ is the last place this should have occurred.” more >>>

Donald Trump Just Exposed Obama for HORRIBLE Crime! HERE IS THE PROOF!!
As the first scandal to hit the Trump Administration, the truped-up accusations that team members had contact with Russia was splashed over mainstream media, American liberals were quick to claim (dishonestly) that the Obama administration had been scandal free. The “scandal-free” Obama’s may finally have just been caught red-handed. This morning President Trump took to Twitter from the Mar-a-Lago resort to reveal a HORRIFYING crime committed by Barack Obama right before he left office: Political wiretapping!
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Are Spineless, Snivelling Liberal Scum Sucker Bringing Back Blasphemy Crimes To The West For The Sake Of Sucking Up To Islamic Extremists?
All the signs suggest the Western democracies are submitting to presure from Islamic extremists and reviving blasphemy laws, but applying them only to those who insult Islam. We are still free to be obscenely disrespectful to Christianity, Judaeism, Hinduism and buddhism. Canada and Denmark are leading the way back to medieval religious oppression ...more >>>

Jacob Rothschild Says Putin “A Traitor To The New World Order”


Jacob Rothschild, patriarch of the megarich banking family, and a leading proponent of the drive to create a global authoritarian government made up of people drawn from the corporate and financial elite, has accused Russian president Vladimir Putin of being a "traitor to the New World Order". Evidence we have suggests the elitist conspiracy sees Russia as an obstacle that must be removed before its plan for a global government can be completed more >>>

Katie Hopkins Reports From Hellacious Sweden, ‘Where Females Fear to Tread’
A news feed filled with reports of the rape and assault of Sweden’s young women, some inexplicably streamed live on Facebook by the gang as they attacked. Other reports filed quietly away in a box marked unmentionable: the rape of a 12-year-old unaccompanied immigrant by a so called fellow 'unaccompanied minor' immigrant who later bragged he was 45.

Junk Food Killing Kids? We often hear about the plague of obesity from talking – head ‘nutrition experts’ on TV, but less is said about the other problem caused by a diet of junk food. On a typical teenager’s diet it is possible to develop both obesity and malnutrition. On the flip side, you have malnutrition. According to the United Nations (UN) special rapporteur, Hilal Elver, Ph.D., the impact of processed food on public health is “alarming.”

Report casts new doubts on WETC official story The controversy goes on, fifteen years later. While it ought to be obvious even to the most casual observer that the way the twin towers collapsed on 9/11 did not look as if it could be the result of a random strike (and Tower 7 was not hit by anything - well a careless sparrow maybe,) many people who should know better but are in awe of authority continue to scream conspiracy theorist at even those well qualified to challlence the official narrative.

Oslo Police Declare “We Have Lost the City”…Islam Has Taken Over
While attention has been focused on Sweden because of remarks made by US President Donald Trump, the apocalyptic level of culturally-enriched violence in neighbouring Norway and particularly in Grønland, a district of the capital city of Oslo. After years of unchecked immigration it looks more like Karachi, Basra, and Mogadishu all rolled into one than part of a Scandinavian capital. People sell drugs openly just next to the Grønland subway station.

American Journalists Who Travelled To Sweden To Debunk Trumps Comments About Migrant Violence Run Out Of Town by Migrants
Two journalists from Chicago who had travelled to Sweden with the intention of debunking Donald Trump's allegations that in Sweden's cities there are many immigrant dominated suburbs that have become trouble spots and 'no - go zones' for Europeans and that the country is a dangerous place to visit had to be given a police escort so they could safely leave an immigrant neighbourhood in Stockholm.

Germany Facing Mass Blackouts Because The Wind And Sun Won’t Cooperate
Germany’s power grid came close tp collapse in January because the poor performance from sustainables, wind turbines and solar panels which the Germany government encouraged heavy investment in, data from a major trade union leaked to German business newspaper Deutsche Wirtschasfts Nachrichten.

Courts Quietly Confirm MMR Vaccine Causes Autism
After decades of passionate debate, parents probably missed the repeated admissions by drug companies and governments alike that vaccines do in fact cause autism. For concerned parents seeking the truth, it’s worth remembering that the exact same people who own the world’s drug companies also own America’s news outlets. Finding propaganda-free information has been difficult, until now.

CIA Admists Using fake News To Subvert Democracy For Decades
Newly-declassified documents show that a senior CIA agent and Deputy Director of the Directorate of Intelligence worked closely with the owners and journalists of many of the largest media outlets. The United States Senate Select Committee to Study Governmental Operations with Respect to Intelligence Activities found in 1975 that the CIA submitted stories to the American press.

Left Complicit In Violence Ripping Through Paris Migrant Neighbourhoods?
As rioting by immigrant populations spreads from the poorer areas of Paris to the city centre and civil unrest spreads throughout France, former special advisor to France’s interior ministry Hugues Moutouh has accused the left-wing political establishment of complicity in the violence raging through the country’s migrant-dominated suburbs.

Infant Twins Die Shortly After Being Vaccinated, Medical Board Rules ‘Just A Coincidence’
In this era of high tech health care and rapidly advancing developments of drug therapy, sudden infant death syndrome (cot death) is a rare thing in the developed world, around one per hundred according to World Health Organisation statistics. Given that, you might think the sudden and simultaneous deaths of twins might cause somne raised eyebrows among medical professionals ...

PARIS ERUPTS: Many streets are NO-GO ZONES As Immigrant Violence Spreads
Five large areas have been reduced to no go areas for the past five nights as masked men cause mayhem on the streets. Now there are fears the fall out from allegations of police brutality could spread all over the country as unrest in the city grows. Police were hit with molotov cocktails and the heavy metal balls used in the French game Petanque ...

J.K. Rowling Goes Silent After Getting Challenged To Put Her Money Where Her Mouth Is
JK Rowling, who wrote 7 great books for kids (and an absolutely shit one for grown ups) has become one of those annoying celebrities who thinks we all need to hear regularly from her on the topic of how to live our lives. she sees no reason why a superior being such as her should abide by the advice she dishes out to the rest of us.

Corruption: Paraphrasing Johnny Rotten, 'Never trust a fahkin' liberal'
As the 'liberal supporters of Barack Obama's hapless presidency and more recently the US Democratic Party's 2016 failed candidate 'Crooked Hillary' Clinton whip themselves into an ever greater frenzy over the hugely entertaining antic of President Trump, An editorial at Investors Business Daily may end up being considered by historians as defining exactly why the Obama administration failed so catastrophically ...

Is a Global Wide Cash Ban Coming?

Anyone who has been paying attention over the last four years knows the Europe is ground zero for Central Planning insanity. Europe was created as a union with open borders with the open flow of capital. However, the elites have clearly demonstrated that they are willing to lie cheat and steal in order to maintain their agenda.

Trump Foiled Soros' Master Plan to Impose New World Order - Hedge Fund Manager
President Donald Trump came to power just in time to prevent George Soros and Hillary Clinton achieving a secret Trans Pacific trade deal, that would have transferred sovereign rights to global corporations Wall Street hedge fund manager and financial analyst Mitch Feierstein told Sputnik. George Soros and Clinton Inc. were nearly able to declare the ‘New World Order’ complete" hedge fund manager Feierstein, said on Tuesday.

TIME Magazine runs vile hit piece against Robert Kennedy Jr. for daring to tell the truth about mercury in vaccines
When newly inagurated President Donald Trump appointed Robert Kennedy, Jr. to head a commission to investigate and report on vaccine safety, it was inevitable the Big Pharma Corporations, the big money interest behind them, and their 'pet poodle' scientists would hit back and try to undermine the initiative. That it would happen so quickly, with higly respected fake news publication Time magazine lining up its biggest hitters to smear Kennedy's reputation

The War On Cash Intensifies In Response To Trump and Brexit
It appears Europe is charging towards a cashless society. Just days after Davos’ elites discussed why the world needs to “get rid of currency,” the European Commission has introduced a proposal enforcing “restrictions on payments in cash.” – because only terrorists and drug-dealers need cash (nothing at all to do with totalitarian control over a nation’s wealth) – we are not surprised that this proposal from the European Commission would appear…

French Finance Minister Says UK’s May Is Not In A Position To Negotiate With Trump You have to wonder just who the testicularly deficient little pen pusher of the failing EuroNazi project think they are. What do they not understand about Brexit that enables them to think they can still tell us what we can and can’t do? They may have got away with it while cottaging Prime Minister Blair or Old Etonian bum boy Cameron were in charge ...

Obama’s Gone, But His Genocidal Wars Go On
Continued fighting in Yemen between Houthi rebels seeking to overthrow the tyrannical Sunni Muslim government and ground and air forces of the SSaudi Arabian led coalition backed by the Obama administration in the USA killed at least 66 people in 24 hours, medics and security sources said on Sunday.
More Obama war

Inauguration crowd size lies: The Hypocrisy Of Mainstream Media Is Infinite When They Can Publish Shite Like This


Trump and liberals exchange insults over wether the inauguration audience for Trump was bigger than Obama's or not. It's hard to know which side is lying, probably both of them.
Liberal hypocrisy

‘Integrate or Leave’: As Wilders Surges in Polls Dutch PM Ramps Up Migrant Rhetoric


Just one day after polls which gave Geert Wilders’s insurgent populist party a nine-point lead on the ruling conservatives, Prime Minister Rutte took out a full page advert and spoke in an interview with Dutch daily Algemeen Dagblad to tell migrants they should integrate or leave, and to issue a call for a return to “common decency”.

Soros Is Responsible for Europe's Immigration Crisis Says Hungary's Viktor Orban
With Britain's Conservative Government pressing ahead with a 'hard Brexit agenda, and the Trump administration setting abou demolishing the expressway to socialism Barack Obama had spent eight years contruction, there is a lot of speculation and precious little hard evidence to indicate where the globalist elite, having seen their ambition for a world government thwarted will go next.
More Soros mischief

Post Trump and Brexit, Predicting The Globalists Next Move
Hungary's Prime Minister Viktor Orbán has made the American billionaire and philanthropist George Soros for the current refugee movements in Europe with responsibility. "This invasion (of migrants) on the one hand steered from the tractor business, on the other hand of those (human) activists who support everything that the nation-states weakens,
Globalisation index

The role of cosmic electric currents in earth’s climate
If you’ve been following the growth of the Electric Universe movement, you know that this growth is due largely to the power of a new paradigm to explain things left unexplained by conventional theory. The greatest surprises of the space age are not surprises to researchers exploring the role of the electric force across the cosmos. Nor is it surprising to see the electric force at work close to home, both in the sculpting of planetary surfaces and in the evolution of life on earth ...

The Reality Of Globalism - World Trade Has Increased By Less Than 1% Annually In The Last Decade
There can be little doubt that 2016 was the year the great pushback against globalisation and the push towards an authoritarian world government (NWO) really got off the ground. Fears that the world is on the edge of rejecting globalization and a global economy, with its false promise of prosperity for all and its reality of an ever widening gap between rich and poor have dominated ...

World Bank Aims to Hand Over Seed Industry to Agribusiness
Today Donald Trump will be inaugurated as 45h President of The United States, his victory in the November election having been a major setback to those dark forces that give the impression only one more big push was needed to drive the world into accepting a global authoritarian government. Trump's victory, combined with 'Brexit' the vote by British citizens to leave the EU, combined to make 2026 a bad year for the globalists.

The Left In Meltdown
As the UK Labour Party crumbles into complete disarray with it’s leader, the sixty – eight year old perpetual student protestor Jeremy Corbyn proving a more divisive figure than any of his predecessors, as he sacrifices more and more votes on the altar of fashionable causes, and the EU, natural successor to Hitler’s European unification project falls apart in the face of resurgent cultural nationalism, it is quite satisfying to see ...

Fake News and fake Fake News
The buzz phrase this past month has been ‘Fake News’ as over in the USA the Donald Trump camp have had to swat away repeated attempts to smear and the discredit the victor in the 2016 Presidential Election and supporters of Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, unable to accept their team lost because people rejected perpetual war and ...

Obama Has been An Inspirational President?Well He Probably Inspired More Suicides Than Any Other Obama’s greatest achievement perhaps it to have put Donald Trump in The White House. Whether you think this is a good or bad thing depends on your political stance. This blog is neutral, our view being that Trump can’t be a worse president than any of the three that preceded him.

Over 4000 Civilians Have Died In Forgotten War.
As attention has focused on Syria ans then on the efforts of the Obama administration, in its dying months, to avenge the defeat of the anointed successor Hillary Clinton and discredit the election victor and President - elect Donald Trump, and simultaneously demonize Russia and President Putin

NEW CHAINS FOR OLD
The problem with losing your chains is knowing what to do when you are free to act without them. The answer most people choose should not really be all that surprising.

Former UK Ambassador Says Obama's 'Russian Hacking' Claims Are Bullshit
Former UK ambassador to Uzbekistan, Craig Murray, who has always publicly opposed the demonization of Russia by United States and European Union official propaganda and has in the past collaborated with WikiLeaks editor Julian Assange to expose western propaganda as being aimed at persuading voters war with Russia and China,is justified has dismissed the CIA's claims that Russia interfered in last month’s presidential election as "bullshit"

An Item In Todays News About US Gov't Internet Security Hack has Tipped Our Editor Over The Edge
The US election was on November 8, by November 12 it should have gone away, but the Democrats, proven crooks and liars who crookedly rigged their own selection process to cheat a man who could have beaten Trump out of the nomination and ensure their candidate was the traitor, war criminal, liar, AND head of the Clinton Crime Syndicate Hillary Clinton as their candidate.

Democrats Russia Hacked Us and Failed Recount Campaign is Political Suicide. The US Democratic Party’s inability to accept that they lost the Presidency to Donald Trump is turning into a slow polictical sucicide. The party that has always been quick to scream ‘conspiracy theorist’ to discredit critics of its dealings with oversreas governments and foreign billionaires like Soros has revealed in its efforts to overturn the result by claimING that Russian hacking influenced voters in favour of Trump.

Oxford University wants to turn English into a sterilized Orwellian language
Oxford University, one of the oldest universities in the world and, one might think, the 'home' of the English language is now, it seems, engaged in a New World Order campaign to destroy the English Language. It appears the finest young minds in society are so deeply offended by words that remind them men and women are biologically they, backed by their fuckwitted Marxist lecturers and professors, are demanding gender specific pronouns be abolished.

I Was Right - Gravilty Does Not Exist

Well OK, saying gravity does not exist is a bit of an oversimplification, but there is strong evidence Isaac Newton's theory of what makes things fall to the ground, which does not attempt to explain how gravity makes things fall, but only states gravity is a natural force, really misunderstood what was going on.

France Falling Apart As The World Looks On
France will elect a new president in May 2017. Politicians are already campaigning and debating about deficits, welfare recipients, GDP growth, and so on, but they look like puppets disconnected from the real country. Violence. It is spreading. Not just terrorist attacks; pure gang violence. The media does not dare to say that this violence is coming mainly from Muslim gangs

The Internet Purge Of Politically Incorrect (aka truthful) Content Begins
Facebook, Google (owners of YouTube) and Microsoft have long been known as CIA collaborators and it has been acknowledged that Obama's move in divesting the US government of responsibility for ICANN allows The White House to make outraged noises about suppression of free speech while using Search Engine Operators as proxies to shut down anything challinging US and NATO propaganda (on the grounds no doubt that challenging the politically correct orthodoxy constitutes hate speech.)

UK Education: Ofsted, Not The Government, Is Blighting Poor Pupils’ Chances
Experienced teacher say it is possible to teach effectively with that kind of a workload and although such working hours are common in business and commerce, people in those sectors do not have to deal with stupid, snotty nosed, hormonally hyperactive adolescents.

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