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SAS - Satnav Antipathic Soldiers and The Misadventures Of Suzie From The Isle Of Skye
Boggart Blog loves Sat Nav stories. We love all stories that make those people trying to turn science into a religion and make technology one of its idols look stupid. Not that we are against science and technology, we are simply against the kind of people who try to tell us what we can and can't think. And if we give up map reading slikks and the power to think for ourelves then when the machines go wrong as sat nav often does, we're fucked. As a young friend of ours found out.

SAS - Satnav Antipathic Soldiers and The Misadventures Of Suzie From The Isle Of Skye
by Ian R Thorpe
2010-11-18
CREATIVE COMMONS: Attribute, non commercial, no derivs.
KEYWORDS: sat nav, satellite, navigation, technology, science, computer, Hull, Leeds, Wales, machine, satire, humour, humor

This is a trueish but highly embellished version of something that happened to one of Cleo Hart's friends. Cleo is travelling at the moment.

As all our regular readers know we Boggart Bloggers are great fans of all whacky and totally unnecessary technologies and Sat Nav systems especially. Sat Nav seems to lead the field in providing an expensive, complicated, extremely fallible and irritating way of performing a function that should be simple and free. If you want to drive from London to Leeds and don't mind going via Bristol, Aberystwith, Preston Gubbals, Carlisle, Burton on Trent and Wigan or being rescued from mountain torrents, bogs, feral chavs in Blackbird Leys or a snowdrift outside Kiruna and having to face the ridicule of your friends down the pub trust your Sat Nav. If however you just want to get from London to Leeds without much fuss simply drive round the M25 until you see signs for M1, Watford, The North. Follow them and keep following signs for The North. Ignore your Sat Nav' yelling that you should take the next exit. It will only lead you eventually to the A666, the road to hell. Actually the A666 runs from Bolton to Blackburn so for most people is probably the road to somewhere worse than Hell. Leeds is at the other end of the M1 from London. Just stay on the M1. Easy peasy.

So why do we cruel, sarcastic bastards love Sat Nav?

Because of the blind faith that people who buy one have in their system and the way that when things have gone so badly wrong blind faith is no longer enough the childlike trust they show that their parent - surrogate gadget will somehow make things alright.

At this time of year our esteemed colleague Cleo Hart and numerous others set off for The Alps to work in ski resorts throughout the season. Most make the long and arduous trek via London and the M25 (gridlocked 24 / 7 because of sat nav users driving at 5mph while scratching their heads and saying "This doesn't look much like the Lake District) to Dover for the short, unpleasant crossing on the regular cattle ship to Calais.

Cleo however, tipped off by her dear old Dad who knows about these things, heads from Lancashire across to Hull (just get on the M62 and head east (the opposite way to Liverpool) until you come to the North Sea Ferries terminal or drive into the water off Spurn Head. Even easier than peasy.

Several of the others now use the northern crossing, its an easier drive in the UK, a more comfortable crossing with a good meal, a pleasant evening and a good night's sleep on the ferry and a better route across France. So last year another girl from northern parts, let's call her Suzie from the Isle of Skye thought it would be a good move for her too. Western Scotland to Hull sounded easy. At the time Suzie was seeing a soldier, a member of and elite regiment (we are a bit sceptical about the veracity of this claim, members of this elite regiment as well as being trained to jump out of planes, navigate by the sun and stars, live on a diet of worms, beetles and dandelion leaves and light fires by rubbing two boy scouts together are trained to read maps.

Suzie's soldier friend approved on her idea and volunteered to programme the sat nav for her. Great, who could be better equipped to program map references into a sat nav than a man trained to find his way round barren, featureless deserts and tundras? Surely Suzie could not go wrong if she just relied on her sat nav.

Suzie missed Hull, in fact she ended up in Wales Not just the civilised bit of Wales that joins on to Cheshire or the Wales, populated by Gavin and Stacy, Charlotte Church and the only gay in the village but Welsh wales where it is a crime to speak English and those things that look like basketwork garden ornaments can be assembled in a matter of minutes into a wicker man. A combination of blind faith, childlike trust in the parenting skills of inanimate machines and her boyfriend's ignorance of maps and references, the cardinal points of the compass, left and right and the difference between his arse and his elbow led to her turning right instead of left and driving past all the signs printed with red dragons and pointing to towns with names like Llanfairpwyllgwillgynn-bibble-yibble-yibble-yibble-llantisiliogochgochgoch give or take the odd goch without realising she had a problem. Maybe it was because the signs were printed in two languages, Welsh and Ogham (the secret language of The Druids)

Now in our house we think we have an idea how this might have happened. You see we know a young person who some years ago was headed from Lancashire to Sheffield and phoned home in a panic to say. "Help, I think I've taken a wrong turning and ended up in Wales, I've just passed a sign for Pontefract . Maybe the sat nav logic had made a similar mistake and interpreted "continue past signs for Pontefract" as "follow the shortest route to Pontypridd". We shall never know however.

The problem for our lovely lass Suzie from the Isle of Skye was not so subtle. She was still following her sat nav's orders and desperately trying to convince herself the device was taking her via a shortcut to Holyhead which must be near Hull as they both start with H. For Suzie, even though the blacktop road had become a muddy track several miles ago blind faith had been replaced by childlike trust in the machine. When the muddy track became a verdant Welsh hillside even childlike trust gave out. Suzie stopped and got out of the car only to be confronted by a Welsh farmer who spoke in Welsh, not saying "Iached Da (pron. Yakki da) young lady, do you need any help" but something she guessed from the way he was pointing a shotgun sat her meant "GET ORF MOI LAAAAAAAAAND".

Suzie did get to France eventually after spending several weeks in a clinic where she was given post traumatic stress therapy.

From this shocking sat nav story of betrayal we learn several things:

(1) When driving from West Scotland to Hull it is a good idea to turn left somewhere no matter what the sat nav is telling you.

(2) Sat nav is useless, whatever it tells you, do the opposite.

(3) We are not going to win the Afghan war for the simple reason that when our elite soldiers' were sent to flush the Taliban out of the Hindu Kush their map reading skills caused them to end up running round Patagonia.

(4) Never listen to the kind of techieheads, webbyheads, sciencyheads and other pointyheads who try to tell you machines are smarter than we are. Machines are unthnking automatons and people who think they will ever be intelligent are cunts.

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BBC Comedy

BBC Comedy Blog
Updated : Tue, 28 Aug 2012 09:53:42 +0000

The Thick of It Returns

 

Armando Iannucci's award-winning political comedy series The Thick Of It returns to BBC Two this autumn.

Coalition rows take their place alongside Government embarrassment, ministerial cock-ups, backroom deals, policy U-turns, spin-doctoring, political back-stabbing and wild media speculation

Roger Allam returns as Peter Mannion MP, the new Secretary of State for The Department of Social Affairs and Citizenship (DOSAC), supported by his team of special advisors, commanded by Number 10's Director of Communications Stewart Pearson (Vincent Franklin) and thwarted by his new Coalition partner, DOSAC's Junior Minister Fergus Williams MP (Geoffrey Streatfeild).

BAFTA award winners Rebecca Front and Peter Capaldi reprise their roles as Nicola Murray MP and foul-mouthed spin doctor Malcolm Tucker, both now consigned to the Opposition. The ensemble cast is completed by Chris Addison, Joanna Scanlan, James Smith, Olivia Poulet, Will Smith, Ben Willbond, and Rebecca Gethings.

Armando Iannucci says that this series takes us into exciting and uncharted territory: "A new Coalition Government, and Malcolm and Nicola fretting in the wings. For the first time too a storyline takes us all the way through the series right to the bitter, bitter end, with Government and Opposition convulsed in an incident that questions every political convention imaginable, but in a funny way."

BBC Two Controller Janice Hadlow says she is delighted to welcome it back, "A new Coalition government, what better time for a new series of The Thick Of It?"

Head of Comedy Mark Freeland is excited to see The Thick Of It return too - "No other show could coin the term 'Omnishambles' and see it become part of the political lexicon."


Publ.Date : Thu, 12 Jul 2012 07:00:00 +0000

Comedy Talent Search - Laugh Track

BBC Comedy Commissioning and BBC Writersroom have joined forces for a second nationwide talent search to find new comedy gold. If you have a big studio sitcom brewing in your mind and can tell original stories, invent characters and catchphrases that can make a live audience laugh, then send in your script.

This is an opportunity not to be missed - you may get the chance of your work performed at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival and at our Sitcom Showcase at the Studio in MediaCity, Salford. You could also be in line for a comedy masterclass on how to write studio sitcoms, plus an intensive week away developing your idea hand-in-hand with BBC comedy producers and established comedy writing talent.

 

The amazing Dawn French will be on the panel of judges. Cheryl Taylor (Controller, Comedy Commissioning), who judged last year's BBC writersroom comedy talent search says: "I was thrilled last year by the number of very funny and original scripts that we were asked to judge. It was a pleasure to read all of the short listed projects as was having the opportunity to meet some of their very talented authors."

The deadling for entries is Wednesday, 21 March 2012. For information on how to enter, visit the Writersroom website.


Publ.Date : Thu, 02 Feb 2012 13:52:39 +0000

David Walliams' Mr Stink Comes to BBC One
 

"Mr Stink stank. He also stunk. And if it was correct English to say he stinked,
then he stinked as well…"

David Walliams' best-selling children's novel Mr Stink is set to come alive as a comedy drama for all the family on BBC One later this year.

The touching, twisted and hilarious tale tells of Mr Stink, who is befriended by a local girl Chloe. Chloe sees Mr Stink every day, but she's never spoken to him, which isn't surprising, because he's a tramp, and he stinks.

 

When it looks like Mr Stink might be driven out of town, Chloe hides her unusual friend in her garden shed. As she struggles to make sure no one sniffs out Mr Stink, her dad tries to hide a secret of his own, and the stage is set for an epic family confrontation. There is also one other person with an extraordinary secret: it turns out that there is more to Mr Stink than meets the eye… or nose.

David Walliams, who will play the role of the Prime Minister in the show, says: "I am beyond thrilled that BBC One is adapting my children's book 'Mr Stink' into a family film. I have written the script, and can't wait to see actors bring it to life." BBC One Controller Danny Cohen added: "Mr Stink is a heart-warming, nose-clenching and funny tale which will appeal to viewers of all ages. It's brilliant to be working with David to bring his magical tale to BBC One." Mark Freeland, Head of Comedy, finishes the stinky love-in by saying: "I am delighted that the BBC is continuing its relationship with the multi-talented David Walliams. Mr Stink has become an instant classic and it's so exciting to see it come to life on TV. Both my children would echo that. But then they both want parts, so…"


Publ.Date : Tue, 21 Feb 2012 08:00:00 +0000

Comedy and Multiplatform

 

Up in Edinburgh, the BBC's College of Production (COP) has been talking to comedians about online shennanigans. The COP's Catherine Scott writes...


Yesterday saw four of comedy's bright new stars share their thoughts on how to be 'funny and multiplatform', during BBC College of Production's live podcast from the BBC Edinburgh Festival base in Potterow. The panel consisted of Daniel Berg, the comedy writer and developer who specialises in viral video, Bec Hill, named one of the "Top 10 Funniest Comedians on Twitter", Arron Ferguson of alternative comedy duo Not The Adventures of Moleman and Iván González, one half of Foster's Edinburgh Comedy Award 2011-winning duo Max and Ivan.

Prolific Tweeter Bec Hill told us how she started using online platforms simply to share her comedy sketches and cartoons with her friends, and was pleasantly surprised when it snowballed into a 3000+ Twitter following. Bec also noted that her online audience has grown much faster than her live audience – "I've reached 100,000 views on YouTube, I certainly haven’t got that in Edinburgh yet!".

Daniel Berg's passion for viral videos was evident when a strong gust of Scottish wind blasted through the pink tent and he remarked "Film that, that'll go viral!". Daniel spoke of how social media and online platforms give new acts the chance for exposure without the need to be commissioned. When wrangling with the shorter attention span of the internet audience, Daniel’s advice to comedians was "Keep your content topical, and keep it short."

Ivan Gonzalez sang the praises of online platforms such as YouTube for giving comedians creative control, and also gave a shout-out to BBC's iPlayer and Feed My Funny for allowing viewers to access comedy outside the restrictions of viewing schedules. Like Bec Hill, Ivan also enjoys the immediacy of 140 character jokes on Twitter – and if the #EdFest feed this week is anything to go by, so do a lot of us (“Just been to a lecture on how to build a ship. Riveting!")

Arron Ferguson's two-man sketch troupe Not The Adventures of Moleman actually began as a solely online act, only venturing out onto the live circuit once they had built a large online following. Noting that "some people think you need to be live to be comedians", Arron pointed out that a lot of NTAOM's sketches actually work better online, because film can provide subtle shots that might be missed in onstage comedy. Arron also gave us possibly the most useful piece of advice on treating online platforms with respect – "Don’t use Twitter to invite all your fans to KFC!"

Although the public passion for live comedy gigs remains strong, any new comedian entering the industry should remember that there is a plethora of other options available to them for making their name and getting their work out there. It might take a while to build up 100,000 hits on YouTube or 1000 followers on Twitter, but as our guests concluded “As long as you’re having fun, that's what matters."

Listen to the full podcast.

Follow College of Production @BBCCop


Publ.Date : Thu, 23 Aug 2012 13:48:00 +0000

Twenty Twelve is back!

Yep, that's right. Twenty Twelve is returning to our screens at 10pm on Friday 30th March on BBC Two.

This series the pressure mounts as the Olympic Deliverance team try to navigate their way through such delicate issues as how to handle the Algerian team's demand for a mosque in the Olympic village, and how to carry out a Legacy Audit on the rival bids for the Stadium when no one knows what a Legacy Audit is.

Here's a clip of Ian, Siobhan and the ever dedicated Sally, drafting a press release about the Deliverance teams commitment to 'multicuturality':

In order to see this content you need to have both Javascript enabled and Flash installed. Visit BBC Webwise for full instructions. If you're reading via RSS, you'll need to visit the blog to access this content.

More from Twenty Twelve:


Publ.Date : Fri, 23 Mar 2012 17:00:00 +0000

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After the usual empty promises made at the annual conferences of the three main political parties - all three party leaders swore that only their party can save the National Heath Service (NHS) eternally a key isue in UK politics, we decided it was time our we too a close look at why NHS finances are always in a mess. We assigned the task to our team of old gits with a vast store of business experience behind them and no fears of suffering career damage as the Politically Correct Thought Police exact retribution for the crime of being 'off message'.

The Immigration Problem
The politicians may run a mile when the topic is mentioned, the Islington Screechers and medi luvvies may cover their ears and go la-la-la-la whenever the topic comes up but there is no denying immigration is the big issue in Britain today. Labour's open doors immigration policy was a disaster, the coalition have failed to address it for fear of upsetting the politically correct thought police. Is it any wonder UKIP, the only party that will talk about immigration, is doing so well?

The Ongoing Propaganda War Behind GMOs Exposed
The United States has been paying farmers for over two decades to NOT produce food, yet biotech would have us believe that genetically modified organisms are necessary to feed the world. This is but one of the many lies they have perpetrated, all the while hiding the real truth behind GM crops. Genetically modified organisms and the chemicals which support their growth are just an outcropping of the military industrial complex and the war industry.

Emirates Airways CEO Thinks He Knows What Happened to Flight MH370
We can sometimes keep news stories running for several months by pointing out the sheer irrationality of those who scream 'conspiracy theory' and demand that we all believe the government / mainstream media version. One of the two biggest stories in 2014 was the complete disappearance of Malaysia Airlines flight MH370 on a routine flight from Kuala Lumpur to Beijing. Seven months later not a trace of the Boeing 777 aircraft or any of its passengers has been located. As the official explanations grow increasingly more ludicrous ...

MH-17 Report False Flag Exposed After Revelation Passenger Was Wearing Oxygen Mask

When exactly a month ago the supposedly objective, impartial Netherlands released its official, 34-page preliminary report of the MH-17 crash over Ukraine, presumably based on black box data, air traffic control records, and other “authentic, verified” information, there were precisely zero mentions of “oxygen“, “mask” or “oxygen mask.”

Things That Make You Boggle ... Like The Misplaced Confidence Of Academics
Why are economics academics always so sure that their predictions are correct. Given the abysmal record on economists on calling the economic trends correctly even after they have happened let alone ahead of the trend, you would think exponsents of the dismal science would be a little more cautious in proclaiming their gusses as evidence backed facts. They never seen to learn however.

European Union Euro - Nazis Block Democratic Challenge To TTIP Travesty
Yet again the news slowly leaking out of the Trans Atlantic Trade And Investment Partnershi negotiations tess us just why there is so much secrecy surrounding this trade treaty being negotiated between the EU and the USA that even our elected governments are not allowed to know what the final treaty will include. Be afraid, be very afraid.

Police to Investigate Allegations of Labour-LibDem Rochdale 'Deal' on Paedophiles
Fresh allegations have emerged regarding the systematic sexual abuse of Chil;dren in Rochdale. This time the story focuses not on the Pakistani men at the centre of the abuse gangs, but the political cover up by Labour and Liberal Democrat elected officials on Rochdale Metrtoplitan Borough Council who, it is claimed orchestrated the cover-up by Labour and Liberal Democrat Party officials in the Greater Manchester Area.

Obama and FUKUS Axis Air Strikes On ISIS Will Make Things Worse
The bombing of ISIS, the Islamic State is well under way in Iraq and Syria, and as predicted the American, British and French led campaign is already making things worse for civilians among whom the ISIS fighters are dispersed. And of course, far from making the west safer, it is stirring up more hatred against us in the Islamic world.

Bad News for the alarmists: 'Missing Heat' from Non-Existent 'Global Warming' isn't Hiding in the Ocean After All
The already mortaly wounded cause of climate taxes alarmism has bean dealt another blow in a new study published by a NASA research project carried out at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena, USA.
Satellite observations and empirical measurements gathered by Argo temperature probes enabled the NASA team to calculate temperature variations and thermal expansion in ocean waters over 6000 feet deep.

Evil Labour Government Helped Private Companies Profit From NHS
If you live in Heywood and Middleton and were thinking of voting for the greedy, paedophile loving, elitists' party, Labour because you have been taken in by the lies peddled at the Labour conference that the wicked Tories plan to privatize the NHS, think again.

UK Health Watchdog: Studies Show Mobile Phones Cause Brain Tumours
Over the past last two years, following publication of metastudies like World Health Organisation's International Agency For Research On Cancer report on the effects of radio frequency electromagnetic waves, there is new evidence that mobile phones use can be dangerous to our health. A less technical summary of that is available from Cancer Research UK. Wireless phones, even those DECT systems you use with your landline so you can wander around with the handset, emit radio-frequency electromagnetic fields (RF-EMFs) when in use...

Another EU Wannabe Declares War On Free Speech A very dangerous and worrying trend, which has been gathering momentum for some time, has entered a new dimension in recent weeks. Political and business leaders around the world are blatantly calling for the censorship on reporting and discussing news in terms that are 'unhelpful' to their aims and ambitions along with further restrictions on free speech.

US Centre for Disease Control Opposes Blocking Air Travel from West Africa to Stop Ebola Right of return and gender dimension more important than stopping spread of disease? Well that sounds about right for the admistration of The Rent Boy President. Always put acting in a politically correct way before common sense. How about this for a totally fickwitted attempt to deal with a crisis (or mayve a smart but totally evil way to create a crisis.

Another Big Result For The 'Conspiracy Theorists' - US CIA Corrupts Western Journalists.
Ever wondered why anybody trying to report news truthfully or initiate intelligent discussion is branded a conspiracy theorist, especially if their news or opinion is critical of the American government of American business interests? Read the content of this page and you will know a lot more about what is going on.

The Crminalisation Of Dissent
There is a growing trend in what we like to think of as the free world to curtail civil rights, transfer national sovereignty from elected law making bodies to supra national bureaucracies and enact new laws restricting free speech and press freedom. Largely fictitious threats such as terrorism, Islamic fundamentalism and climate change are being used to justify this. but are the levels of risk sufficient to justify the destruction of democracy?

EU Kommisar Admits Brussels Is At War With Democracy
The German EU Commissioner Günther Oettinger, in an astonishing rant accused "bishops, non-governmental organizations and "Ami-Go-Home-Altgruppen" (whatever they are) of undemocratic agitation against the EU's free trade agreements. Oettinger was referring to the Trans Atlantic Trade and Investment Partnership (TTIP) the undemocratic deal being negotiated in secret between the European Union and the corporate paymasters who control the US Administration.

Proof Bill Gates is Linked to Ebola as it Hits Dallas, Texas?
Ebola fever has landed in America and predictably sparked panic (see headline). The question evert=yone asks is: "How much danger are me and my family in." The questions they should be asking are: "Why does the US Government Department Of Defense hold a patent on the Ebola virus; and: Why has a team from Tulane University and the US Department of Defence biological weapons research project been experimenting on the Ebola virus for several years?

Surveillance Society Ever had that feeling you are being watched, unseen eyes are monitoring your every move, recording your every action, even knowing what you think. We live in a surveillance society but few really understand how intrusive the activiries of the watchers are. Welcome to the Panopticon. Jeremy Bentham's ideal prison has become a metaphor for the world we have created.

New Global Crisis Imminen, New Geneva Report Warns The Geneva Report refers to a “poisonous combination of high and rising global debt and slowing nominal GDP [gross domestic product], driven by both slowing real growth and falling inflation”. The total burden of world debt, private and public, has risen from 160 per cent of national income in 2001 to almost 200 per cent after the crisis struck in 2009 and 215 per cent in 2013. “Contrary to widely held beliefs, the world has not yet begun to delever and the global debt to GDP ratio is still growing, breaking new highs,” the report said.

Farage Reckless Facing Rabid Left Wing Fanatics
Following the defection to UKIP of Conservative MP Mark Reckless, who yesterday shocked the media and political establishment (everyone else knew it was on the cards.) by announcing his switch from con to Kipper from the podium at the closing session of UKIP's conference, the Kippers latest recruit and his new leader yesterday faced angry but ineffectual protests

Vaclav Klaus, the free world's last honest politician: the West’s lies about Russia are monstrous.
There are few people in politics who will say in public the things that really think, thanks to the hypersensitivity of the American political establishment and their enthusiasm for bombing the crap out of anyone who upsets members of their anointed minorities. Its refreshing then to learn of comments made by veteran Czech Republic leader, putting the boot into the cowardly mealy mouthed sum who pass for conservative and libertarian politicians in the English Speaking countries.

Why Do Government Information Technology Projects always Screw Up? Because Everything Governmrent Touches Becomes Political
While scientists burble excitedly about the internet of things, computer-brain interfaces that will enable the government to control us from data centres, creating human / computers hybrids and other science fantasy rubbish as if any of it stands a chance of becoming reality, government Information Technology managers, with almost unlimited resources at their disposal, can't even manage to cobble together a simple database and search routine. The failure of the e borders project is the latest in a long line of screw ups.

Ukip takes on free market corporatists: Britain's immigration debate gets interesting
Immigration was the subject of the big debate at UKIP's conference in doncaster today. With the Rotherham paedophile scandal which involved Muslim men in the immigrant community abusing young white girls as open sore in South Yorkshire politics at the moment the topic was long overdue for serious debate. One of the reasons the Rotherham scandal happened was the politically correct left scremed racism whenever issue was raised. Immigrants are not above the law.

The Third Gulf War Has Started - Should Britain Get Involved
For the third time in twenty five years a British Prime ~Minister has led the nation into a war in Iraq. It's understandable that Iraquis might be a bit pissed off with us. This time the threat is not a brutal dictator like Saddam hussein or Muammar Gadaffi, the Libyan leader we helped depose, but Islamic State, a concept, an idea, but also a rabble of bloodthirsty maniacs funded by European and American money, aremed with European and American weapons and trained by European and American 'military advisers.

War In Iraq? Lard Bombs Away (SATIRE)
As usual Boggart Blog is totally against Britain becoming embroiled in another sectarian conflict in the middle east (the theme tune of which will be I Hate You Babe by Sunni and Shia.) But rather than send our clapped out, thirty year old warplanes to fire rockets and heavy calibre cannons and drop bombs on the IS, bearing in mind these guys are all fundamentalist Muslims we have a better idea. We can beat the Islamic State without shedding HUMAN blood.

Derbyshire Chief Constable Claims He Was Forbidden To Arrest Former Labour Minister Or Search His Home">South Yorkshire Police Commissioner Shaun Wright Finally Resigns Over Rotherham Child Abuse Scandal
Police chiefs blocked a paedophile probe into a top politician 25 years ago, one of the country’s most senior officers said yesterday. Derbyshire Chief Constable Mick Creedon was serving as a detective sergeant in Leicestershire when allegations surfaced against Labour MP Greville Janner in 1989. Mr Creedon said he was ordered to limit his inquiries into the MP, now Lord Janner of Braunstone.

Disaster Dave's Latest Screw Up On The International Stage
Tomorrow (26 September, 2014) the UK Parliament will meet to vote on whether Britain should support Prime Minister David Cameron and US President and Warmonger - in - Chief Barack Hussein Obama in launching yet another war in the middle east, this time against the forces of the Islamic Caliphate, a fundamentalist organisation set up by groups funded armed and trained by the USA and its allies in their quest to overthrow the regime of Bashar Al Assad in Syria.

War In Iraq: Confused? You Will Be
I'm always a bit wary about referring to The Daily Mail because mere mention of that rather sensationalist but immensely popular newspaper (compare its circulation figures with those of The Guardian or The Independent) is likely to attract a Two Minutes Hate session from Britain's biggest fascist movement,

Love Like Chains (poem)
There are needy lovers and there are controlling lovers (the lovers in my case have always been female but I know men fall into these categories too). They often seem to be modelled from the same clay. Having always been self contained person who liked to stand apart from the crowd I have never did very well in love affairs with either type. This poem is not adressed to a specific person but an amalgam.

Miliband Promises Same Old Shite - Not A Word About Action Against Paedophile Sex Gangs
Labour leader Ed Miliband's keynote speech at the Labour Party conference woyuld have to be the best speech of his life if he hoped to be Prime Minister after next years election, the consensus of opinon said. Ed's friends and opponents awaited the speech with very different hopes and expectations. in the end as Ed dodged the bg issues, the economy and debt, law and order, immigration and Europe, it was probably his enemies who were happier.

In Praise Of Sluts - Tits Out For The Boys Miley
In the last 24 hours both Marianne Faithfull and Jacqueline Bisset have criticised today's young women for dressing provocatively, the teasers for a story in today's news said.
Marrianne Faithfull, no slouch in the sluttiness stakes herself back in the 1960s but to a teenage male all the more appealing for that (I still get a little tingle when I look at a Mars Bar), told ITV News that Miley Cyrus, Rihanna and other good looking young pop tarts are, quite simply, sluts. She gave her reasoning thus:

'There is Only One Planet': The Bemusing Claims of London's Climate Warriors
Apparently blissfully unaware of their hypocrisy, marchers have left placards emblazoned with complaints about the government and environmental issues strewn around on the pavement. The thousands of left-wing activists who descended shouting and stomping through London’s streets no doubt moved on to bars, restaurants or their homes to smugly congratulate themselves on having done their bit for Mother Nature, unsurprisingly not only expecting other people to pay for everything they demand,

A Bunch Of Self Obsessed Air Heads Only Interested In Publicity
The headline sums up some of the speakers or yesterday's climate change protest in London. But we know scientists are vacuous wannabe celebrities. The surprising thing was the showbiz and media luvvies showed themselves even more stupid and out of touch with reality. Take Emma Thompson. A fine actress but we should remember her job is pretending to be somebody else. and having spent most of her life pretending to be somebody else, when ...

Nationalism the new target for left wing screechers
The screechers have a new target for their hate, Nationalism. OMFG, I am sick of seeing on Facebook and other Sheeple sites posts from the army of bandwagon followers condemning nationalism. Hate attacks on Andy Murray because he voted Yes for Scottish Independence were deplorable, the bloke is entitled to his opinion FFS. The lefties hater did not stop there however, attacks on his mother are just disgusting (but entirely typical of the Labour voting, free speech hating, all-things-British loathing, bourgeois left scum.)

Rotherham Childcare Chief Quits Over Mass Sex Abuse Scandal

After weeks of mounting pressure and in the wake of resignations by council political leaders and senior exectutives and also of the recently elected Police Crime Commissioner for the scandal hit town, Joyce Thacker the head of children's services at Rotherham council has finally quit. Following the revelation of a massive cover up by elected representative, police and care professionals who went to considerable lengths to avoid acting on allegations of organised sex abuse gangs consisting mostly of

GCHQ employs more than 100 dyslexic spies. So what?
A lot of people in comment threads seemed eager to get their knickers in a twist this morning about a story headlined: GCHQ employs more than 100 dyslexic and dyspraxic spies. The story tells how the government snoopers intelligence agency down in Cheltenham uses dyslexics' ability to analyse complex information in a 'dispassionate, logical and analytical' in the fight against terror.

Obama administration ‘blocking' information from the press
Uncovering information that should be available to the public has become increasingly difficult under the presidency of Barack Obama, an Associated Press bureau chief says. In some cases, it surpasses the secrecy of the George W. Bush administration. The White House's penchant for secrecy does not just apply to the federal government, according to AP's Washington bureau chief, Sally Buzbee.

An Interesting Perspective From Across The Pond On The Scottish Referendum Result
The almost inevitable accusations of fraud and vote rigging are beginning to emerge in the wake of the Scottish independence referendum. Surprisingly the likely culprit most fingers are pointing at is not the SNP, leaders of the YES campaign or the Westminster government which wanted to avoid the embarrassment of a no, but the Euronazis in Brussels whose plans for a single European nation would have suffered from a YES vote.

Submerged forests' drowned by ancient climate change revealed by 2014 storms.
Here's yet another smack in the mouth for those smug, condescending scientists who talk down to the rest of us. Far from being a new thing, climsste change was affecting the environment at the beginning of the Bronze age. How many fossil fuel burning power stations did the beaker people have then, and how many Chelsea tractors were tearing up and down the ridgeways?

1000 Scientists Break Ranks On Global Warming - Laugh? I Nearly Shat
You've all heard from members of the Church Of Scienceology Cult about how there was total consensus (despite a lack of empirical evidence) that the planet is warming so rabidly there are now no ice caps at either the North or South Poles, that the last polar bear perished when someone ate its Fox's Glacier Mint and that there are now ...

How To Be Totally Uncool (By TryingTo Look Cooler Than You Are)
Many of the 4700 people camped outside the Apple store on New York's 5th Avenue in the picture above are unemployed (and very likely being paid cash in hand by others to queue for days). Few, if any, among either the campers or the buyers will spend $3,600 for a "gold" iPhone like someone in China just did. But those who are buying will gladly pay ...

South Yorkshire Police Commissioner Shaun Wright Finally Resigns Over Rotherham Child Abuse Scandal The man who bears most responsibility for failure to investigate the Rotherham child abuse scandal has finally resigned after three weeks of excuses and evasions. Police Commissioner Wright has been under pressure ever since a report by Prof Alexis Jay (see below) revealed a huge level of child abuse in the South Yourkshire town of Rotherham. The organised sex crime rings had been operating for ...

UKIP MEP Received Death Threats After Criticizing Rotherham's Labour Council Council Over Sex Abuse Scandal Jane Collins, the UKIP Member of the European Parliament for Yorkshire, has been speaking out about the failure of the senior police officers, the social services department managers in Rotherham and leaders of the Labour controlled council all of whom failed to act on allegations that groups of mainly Pakistani men were carrying out the organised sexual abuse of under age girls who found themselves in the care of the authorities.

Bill Gates Foundation Giving Millions to Top University In Order To Influence GMO “Debate” - It Must Be Dodgy
Former Microsoft CEO and mega mogul Bill Gates has long utilized his vast fortune to push genetically modified organisms (GMOs) through his Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, but Gates’ efforts have been met with sharp criticism from millions of grassroots activists both home and abroad.

Rotherham: In the face of such evil, who is the racist now?
Here's a question for wannabe Mastermind contestants. If South Yorkshire Police can mount a raid on the home of pop singer Sir Cliff Richard, two hundred miles away from their patch in pursuit of evidence linked to a single and unsubstantiated allegation of child sex abuse 30 years ago, why were the same South Yorkshire Police force unable to conduct a proper investigation into multiple allegations against men who raped 1,400 children over 16 years?

Denis MacShane: I was too much of a 'liberal leftie' and should have done more to investigate child abuse
In a rare mome

nt of candour disgraced former Labour Member Of Parliament for Rotherham, Dennis MacShane admitted he could have done more to protect the victims of sex abuse gangs in his constituency who preyed on young girls in the local authority care system. While maintaing he knew of no specific allegations MacShane said he could have investigated rumours circulating in the town.

Rotherham Abuse Cover Up Cover UP
Not so long ago we were venting our spleen about the selection of Judge Butler - Sloss to head up an inquiry about how allegations of paedophile offences by well known celebrities, politicians and establishment figures were covered up for many years. It turned out Lady Butler Sloss was the sister of the now deceased Attorney General Sir Michael Havers who was directly involved in

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