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SAS - Satnav Antipathic Soldiers and The Misadventures Of Suzie From The Isle Of Skye
Boggart Blog loves Sat Nav stories. We love all stories that make those people trying to turn science into a religion and make technology one of its idols look stupid. Not that we are against science and technology, we are simply against the kind of people who try to tell us what we can and can't think. And if we give up map reading slikks and the power to think for ourelves then when the machines go wrong as sat nav often does, we're fucked. As a young friend of ours found out.

SAS - Satnav Antipathic Soldiers and The Misadventures Of Suzie From The Isle Of Skye
by Ian R Thorpe
2010-11-18
CREATIVE COMMONS: Attribute, non commercial, no derivs.
KEYWORDS: sat nav, satellite, navigation, technology, science, computer, Hull, Leeds, Wales, machine, satire, humour, humor

This is a trueish but highly embellished version of something that happened to one of Cleo Hart's friends. Cleo is travelling at the moment.

As all our regular readers know we Boggart Bloggers are great fans of all whacky and totally unnecessary technologies and Sat Nav systems especially. Sat Nav seems to lead the field in providing an expensive, complicated, extremely fallible and irritating way of performing a function that should be simple and free. If you want to drive from London to Leeds and don't mind going via Bristol, Aberystwith, Preston Gubbals, Carlisle, Burton on Trent and Wigan or being rescued from mountain torrents, bogs, feral chavs in Blackbird Leys or a snowdrift outside Kiruna and having to face the ridicule of your friends down the pub trust your Sat Nav. If however you just want to get from London to Leeds without much fuss simply drive round the M25 until you see signs for M1, Watford, The North. Follow them and keep following signs for The North. Ignore your Sat Nav' yelling that you should take the next exit. It will only lead you eventually to the A666, the road to hell. Actually the A666 runs from Bolton to Blackburn so for most people is probably the road to somewhere worse than Hell. Leeds is at the other end of the M1 from London. Just stay on the M1. Easy peasy.

So why do we cruel, sarcastic bastards love Sat Nav?

Because of the blind faith that people who buy one have in their system and the way that when things have gone so badly wrong blind faith is no longer enough the childlike trust they show that their parent - surrogate gadget will somehow make things alright.

At this time of year our esteemed colleague Cleo Hart and numerous others set off for The Alps to work in ski resorts throughout the season. Most make the long and arduous trek via London and the M25 (gridlocked 24 / 7 because of sat nav users driving at 5mph while scratching their heads and saying "This doesn't look much like the Lake District) to Dover for the short, unpleasant crossing on the regular cattle ship to Calais.

Cleo however, tipped off by her dear old Dad who knows about these things, heads from Lancashire across to Hull (just get on the M62 and head east (the opposite way to Liverpool) until you come to the North Sea Ferries terminal or drive into the water off Spurn Head. Even easier than peasy.

Several of the others now use the northern crossing, its an easier drive in the UK, a more comfortable crossing with a good meal, a pleasant evening and a good night's sleep on the ferry and a better route across France. So last year another girl from northern parts, let's call her Suzie from the Isle of Skye thought it would be a good move for her too. Western Scotland to Hull sounded easy. At the time Suzie was seeing a soldier, a member of and elite regiment (we are a bit sceptical about the veracity of this claim, members of this elite regiment as well as being trained to jump out of planes, navigate by the sun and stars, live on a diet of worms, beetles and dandelion leaves and light fires by rubbing two boy scouts together are trained to read maps.

Suzie's soldier friend approved on her idea and volunteered to programme the sat nav for her. Great, who could be better equipped to program map references into a sat nav than a man trained to find his way round barren, featureless deserts and tundras? Surely Suzie could not go wrong if she just relied on her sat nav.

Suzie missed Hull, in fact she ended up in Wales Not just the civilised bit of Wales that joins on to Cheshire or the Wales, populated by Gavin and Stacy, Charlotte Church and the only gay in the village but Welsh wales where it is a crime to speak English and those things that look like basketwork garden ornaments can be assembled in a matter of minutes into a wicker man. A combination of blind faith, childlike trust in the parenting skills of inanimate machines and her boyfriend's ignorance of maps and references, the cardinal points of the compass, left and right and the difference between his arse and his elbow led to her turning right instead of left and driving past all the signs printed with red dragons and pointing to towns with names like Llanfairpwyllgwillgynn-bibble-yibble-yibble-yibble-llantisiliogochgochgoch give or take the odd goch without realising she had a problem. Maybe it was because the signs were printed in two languages, Welsh and Ogham (the secret language of The Druids)

Now in our house we think we have an idea how this might have happened. You see we know a young person who some years ago was headed from Lancashire to Sheffield and phoned home in a panic to say. "Help, I think I've taken a wrong turning and ended up in Wales, I've just passed a sign for Pontefract . Maybe the sat nav logic had made a similar mistake and interpreted "continue past signs for Pontefract" as "follow the shortest route to Pontypridd". We shall never know however.

The problem for our lovely lass Suzie from the Isle of Skye was not so subtle. She was still following her sat nav's orders and desperately trying to convince herself the device was taking her via a shortcut to Holyhead which must be near Hull as they both start with H. For Suzie, even though the blacktop road had become a muddy track several miles ago blind faith had been replaced by childlike trust in the machine. When the muddy track became a verdant Welsh hillside even childlike trust gave out. Suzie stopped and got out of the car only to be confronted by a Welsh farmer who spoke in Welsh, not saying "Iached Da (pron. Yakki da) young lady, do you need any help" but something she guessed from the way he was pointing a shotgun sat her meant "GET ORF MOI LAAAAAAAAAND".

Suzie did get to France eventually after spending several weeks in a clinic where she was given post traumatic stress therapy.

From this shocking sat nav story of betrayal we learn several things:

(1) When driving from West Scotland to Hull it is a good idea to turn left somewhere no matter what the sat nav is telling you.

(2) Sat nav is useless, whatever it tells you, do the opposite.

(3) We are not going to win the Afghan war for the simple reason that when our elite soldiers' were sent to flush the Taliban out of the Hindu Kush their map reading skills caused them to end up running round Patagonia.

(4) Never listen to the kind of techieheads, webbyheads, sciencyheads and other pointyheads who try to tell you machines are smarter than we are. Machines are unthnking automatons and people who think they will ever be intelligent are cunts.

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BBC Comedy

BBC Comedy Blog
Updated : Tue, 28 Aug 2012 09:53:42 +0000

Radio 4's Beauty Olonga

Jocelyn Jee Esien as Beauty Olonga

Radio 4's comedy, Beauty of Britain, is about a woman called Beauty Olonga, who works as a carer and sees herself as an inspiration to other young African women in Britain. Here she tells us more about her show.

"One of the people in charge at Radio 4 asked me to tell you about my new series. She said she would do it herself only she's not very good at 'writing-ey type stuff' and she's got a wedding to go to.

"I could tell she was important because she had a little fold-up bicycle and she only goes into the office two days a week. Since coming to this country to work as a carer, I have learnt to recognise how much power someone has by how small their bike is, how long their holidays are and how much extra work they ask you to do for nothing.

"The British also expect you to compliment them on their sense of humour - like when those elderly gentlemen sang about 'My generation' on TV the other night. But I've noticed that although they like to laugh they don't want to make eye contact. I think that's why Radio 4 is such an important part of their culture.

"A lot of the elderly people I look after have a machine on the bedside table that suddenly starts playing Radio 4 at 6.15 in the morning while, at the same time, squirting them with steam and boiling tea - that fantastic sense of humour again!

"Radio 4 normally starts the day with three hours of high-status men shouting at each other. Sometimes you can hear the velcro tearing on their cycling anklets when they get really worked up. Most of my clients like to shout back at the radio, especially when a man called Gary Richardson is on. The elderly women I look after tend to get very annoyed when Kirsty Young starts talking. Personally I can't see anything to complain about with Kirsty - okay, she lost her professionalism when Morrissey was her guest but I've seen a photo of her in Asda Shopper magazine and she is the only Radio 4 presenter who takes the trouble to do her highlights properly.

"If you are an African girl working as a carer you will pick up plenty of top tips from my new series; from how to upstyle your tabard to slow-cooking carrots overnight to getting your clients seen by NHS professionals who are so young they can't write out a prescription without sticking their tongues out and moving their lips. I'd been living here for nearly two years before I learned the key to dealing with registrars is patience and understanding. Young doctors are very overworked so it doesn't help to criticise them for not knowing how to dress for their shape and for only visiting the barbers once every six months.

"But I hope there will be something useful for everyone who listens to my show. And let's face it that means all of you because how many Radio 4 listeners actually go in to work on a Friday? Exactly."

Beauty of Britain goes out on Radio 4 Friday mornings at 11.30am.

Dictated from the vintage section of the PDSA shop to Christopher Douglas and Nicola Sanderson


Publ.Date : Tue, 28 Aug 2012 09:53:42 +0000

Feed My Funny Exclusives

Last month YouTube celebrated its 7th birthday. Hulu, the largest legal TV streaming service in the US, will be 5 in August (It's four months older than iPlayer). There's been much talk in the US recently about online video "growing up". Google's decision to foster partnerships with content producers, starting with its YouTube Partner Program, has now seen the launch of premium video channels. At a presentation to advertisers in May, US comedian Chris Hardwick, who runs YouTube's popular Nerdist channel, summed up Google's intentions best: "The web will be to cable TV what cable TV was to broadcast".

Google though is not an isolated case, and other online platforms are taking it further. Both Hulu & Netflix have commissioned exclusive web series including political sitcom "Battleground", a new reality show from Morgan Spurlock, and a series of documentaries from the acclaimed director Richard Linklater. US online video services are for a wide variety of reasons evolving, but what's still unknown, and so exciting, is what effect the continual growth of this video market will have on Television.

This is contextually interesting, and relevant to the BBC, because today we published seven brand new comedy shows online. Of course that happens regularly on the iPlayer, but these shows have never been on television; they were commissioned for bbc.co.uk. Promoted by BBC Three as Feed My Funny Exclusives, and championed by controller Zai Bennett as a chance to find "the next Gavin and Stacey or Little Britain", they throw up exciting possibilities for comedy, a genre where traditionally you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find the next Prince or Princess, like Mrs Brown.

Dawson Bros. Funtime

New talent, new formats and new scripts can be developed at relatively low cost in relation to TV production and put in front of an audience. Architecturally, the Feed My Funny Exclusives, use the same templates as TV shows, working within bbc.co.uk/programmes, utilising iBroadcast, and they can appear in IPlayer. But the differences are what makes this so exciting going forward. These shows don't need to be 28 minutes long, they cost less to make than most TV comedy and they are at that intersection between technology and storytelling Ralph Rivera described a few months ago.

How many of this year's Feed My Funny Exclusives will go to full TV series remains to be seen. What we do know is that when more are commissioned later this year, we can ask some interesting questions. For example, what would data driven comedy look like? After all, Yahoo, who now commission web series, make programming choices driven by data. After tracking the torrent of clicks that news stories about wedding engagements routinely get they commissioned a reality web show "The Ultimate Proposal".

Could we create a personalised comedy akin to the Tipp-Ex Bear on YouTube using bbc programme pages? Or create live comedy driven entirely from social media feeds? Technology is changing what we can do with comedy but all that really matters is how funny the end product is. So I will leave you to judge and comment on what's been produced for the first series of Feed My Funny exclusives, but I would like to point out that without this project we would never have been able to unveil the latest revolution in equine technology. It keeps you up to date with news for horses, surf websites for horses, and connect with friends, who are horses.

Feed My Funny Exclusives

Will Saunders is an executive producer within BBC Comedy.


Publ.Date : Mon, 02 Jul 2012 19:00:00 +0000

Leaked Emails: 'The Greatest Show on Earth'?

Twenty Twelve is returning to our screens on Friday at 10pm on BBC Two.

With the official announcement this week that the Olympic site is coming along nicely, the Twenty Twelve Deliverance team have been working around the clock to ensure that the games go off without a hitch.

Unfortunately, Graham must have left his computer unlocked, as we've been forwarded some e-mails that Ian might not want to world to see...


From: Ian Fletcher
To: Nick Jowett; Graham Hitchins; Kay Hope; Siobhan Sharpe
Subject: IOC visit

 
As you are no doubt aware, the International Olympic Committee are in London this week and will be visiting our offices on Friday. Following the PM's lead, our official line on the London games is that (despite what I may have said in Wednesday’s meeting) they will be "the greatest show on earth".


From: Graham Hitchins
To: Ian Fletcher; Nick Jowett; Kay Hope; Siobhan Sharpe
Subject: RE: IOC visit

What about Cirque du Soleil?

From: Ian Fletcher
To: Graham Hitchins; Nick Jowett; Kay Hope; Siobhan Sharpe
Subject: RE: IOC visit
 
What about Cirque do Soleil??!

From: Graham Hitchins
To: Ian Fletcher; Nick Jowett; Kay Hope; Siobhan Sharpe
Subject: RE: IOC visit

That was my question.


From: Ian Fletcher
To: Nick Jowett; Graham Hitchins; Kay Hope; Siobhan Sharpe
Subject: RE: IOC visit
 
I KNOW - I was making point. Specifically: what you may personally believe is irrelevant - when speaking to anyone from the IOC, this year's games will be the greatest show on earth. OK?

From: Siobhan Sharpe
To: Ian Fletcher; Nick Jowett; Kay Hope; Graham Hitchins
Subject: RE: IOC visit
 
Pyramids.

From: Ian Fletcher
To: Graham Hitchins; Nick Jowett; Kay Hope; Siobhan Sharpe
Subject: RE: IOC visit
 
Siobhan, I know I have repeatedly asked you to make your emails more succinct, but I think we need to find a middle ground here.

From: Siobhan Sharpe
To: Ian Fletcher; Graham Hitchins; Nick Jowett; Kay Hope
Subject: RE: IOC visit
 
Pretty sure that the pyramids are one of 'the greatest shows on earth'. Duh. Should be worried about copyright issues?

From: Ian Fletcher
To: Siobhan Sharpe; Graham Hitchins; Nick Jowett; Kay Hope
Subject: RE: IOC visit
 
You're thinking of 'wonders of the world'. No-one has ever said that the London Olympics will be one of the seven wonders of the world.
 

...Well, the Mayor did, but we managed to keep it out of the press.


From: Ian Fletcher
To: Siobhan Sharpe; Graham Hitchins; Nick Jowett; Kay Hope
Subject: IOC visit - update!

UPDATE: It seems that the PM has also said "London will be ready on time and on budget" which, to put it charitably, is a half-truth. The press are likely to jump all over this, so today might be a good day to bury any embarrassing news we’ve been sitting on.

From: Siobhan Sharpe
To: Ian Fletcher; Graham Hitchins; Nick Jowett; Kay Hope
Subject: RE: IOC visit - update!

I’m on it!

From: Ian Fletcher
To: Graham Hitchins; Nick Jowett; Kay Hope; Siobhan Sharpe
Subject: RE: IOC visit - update!

WHO ISSUED A PRESS RELEASE SAYING WE ARE BEHIND SCHEDULE AND OVER BUDGET??!!

From: Siobhan Sharpe
To: Ian Fletcher; Graham Hitchins; Nick Jowett; Kay Hope
Subject: <<Out of Office AutoReply>> RE: IOC visit - update!
  
Thank you for your message. I am currently out of the office at an emergency press briefing. If your query is press-related please contact Ian.Fletcher@ODC2012.co.uk

From: Ian Fletcher
To: Graham Hitchins; Nick Jowett; Kay Hope; Siobhan Sharpe
Subject: <<Out of Office AutoReply>> RE: IOC visit - update!

Thank you for your message. I am currently out of the office at an unforeseen press briefing. If your query is Olympics-related please contact Siobhan@PerfectCurve.co.uk

Ian.
 
More from Twenty Twelve:

The Twenty Twelve emails were written by Larry Rickard.


Publ.Date : Thu, 29 Mar 2012 15:30:00 +0000

New Jason Byrne Sitcom 'Father Figure'

 

BBC One has commissioned a pilot of Father Figure, a new sitcom created, written by and starring the stand-up comedian Jason Byrne, to go into production early next year.

Jason Byrne plays married father Tom. He tries to be the best dad he can to his two sons, but bad luck and his extended family are always upsetting his plans. Jason will be accompanied by Pauline McLynn (Father Ted), Michael Smiley (Luther) and Dermot Crowley (Bleak House).

Jason said "It's been a big dream of mine and I'd never have thought I would get the chance to join the ranks of the television sitcom world. The characters all come from real life and the outrageous situations Tom gets into have, more often than not, actually happened to me. The people in my life will never realise that it's them I'm writing about, unless my wife and two sons, mother, father and best mate ever watch it."


Publ.Date : Thu, 09 Aug 2012 07:00:00 +0000

BBC Set For Festival Fringe at Edinburgh 2012

We're going back to the Fringe!

This summer, we'll pick up from where we left off last year when all our Fringe action came together under one roof. Expect even more performances and shows from across our site on TV, on radio and online.

We're going extra mile at the Fringe this year, hosting an overnight Comedy Marathon. BBC Three will start an epic overnight journey with a specially billed, anarchic eight hour show which will go out live on the Red Button from 9pm till 5am and forms part of the London 2012 Festival.

Our tented festival village opens on Friday, 3rd August and doesn't come down until the early hours of Monday 27th August, with over a 100 shows under its belt.

Last year, our venue enjoyed hosting shows from across the BBC. Where else in Edinburgh could you have found Ricky Gervais, Mark Lawson, Sarah Millican and David Hasselhoff on the same stage? (OK, not necessarily at the same time) - in case this all passed you by, here's a video of last year's highlights:

In order to see this content you need to have both Javascript enabled and Flash installed. Visit BBC Webwise for full instructions. If you're reading via RSS, you'll need to visit the blog to access this content.

There is so much going on across the month, make sure you don't miss anything by following @BBCEdFest on twitter and via www.facebook.com/BBCEdFest

Free tickets for all of the on-site events, performances and Masterclasses are available from BBC Tickets from Thursday, May 31. Apply now to make sure you don't miss out!

What's On?

BBC Radio 1's Scott Mills and Nick Grimshaw will be returning to present their spectacular Fun and Filth Cabaret, also part of the London 2012 Festival. And BBC Comedy Presents is back, showcasing the best of the Fringe with nightly shows.

Festival-goers can come together and marvel at our new big screen which will be showing the best of the Olympics live.

Radio 4 bring a host of listener favourites to the Fringe; David Mitchell will be dropping in to host The Unbelievable Truth, Nicholas Parsons and Paul Merton will rock up for Just a Minute, as will Clive Anderson for Loose Ends. Jim Naughtie is with us for a special Fringe edition of Today, and Rory Bremner's in town to host Tonight.

More Radio 4 recordings from the festival include Comic Fringes, with short stories created by popular comedians. Also, Front Row, The Horne Section, The Philosopher's Arms, Wondermentalist Cabaret, plus a new food panel show making its debut at the Fringe - The Kitchen Cabinet presented by Jay Rayner.

As well its regular stable of Edinburgh shows of MacAulay & Co and the Festival Café and in recent years Off the Ball - BBC Radio Scotland will be taking more stalwarts East including Vic Galloway and Jazz House, and as he did in 2011, to acclaim, Christopher Brookmyre will be combining comedy and books in a specially recorded series.

Radio 3 will broadcast In Tune live from Edinburgh with Sean Rafferty and Verity Sharp presenting two editions of Late Junction with live music and special features.

Radio 2's Steve Wright Show - with Patrick Kielty at the helm - will broadcast from the festival. Patrick's also hosting the Edinburgh heat of the Radio 2 New Comedy Award. And Penny Smith returns with The Radio 2 Arts Show.

There is also a chance for you to see Richard Bacon present his BBC 5live shows from the BBC venue at the Edinburgh Festival on August 22nd and 23rd with celebrity guests.

BBC coverage goes beyond the Fringe. The diversity of the Edinburgh festivals will be reflected across a range of output, including BBC Two's The Culture Show with Sue Perkins and The Review Show with Kirsty Wark. And as broadcast partner of the Edinburgh International Festival, Radio 3 will broadcast 18 live and pre-recorded concerts from the Festival.

There will be a host of other live music acts across the month, featuring special performances from world loop-station champion, Shlomo, as well as up-and-coming live music acts showcased by Vic Galloway and the BBC Introducing... team in Scotland. There will also be lots exciting things to do for families with young children.

Key events at the BBC@Potterrow are included in the Edinburgh Festival Fringe brochure, but further details of additional events including Masterclasses and Workshops will be announced in due course.


Publ.Date : Thu, 31 May 2012 16:55:00 +0000

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LATEST POSTS & COMMENTS

You Will Be Told Biometric Identification Is For Your Security, But When You Can't Do business without It, It Becomes An Assault On your Privacy
Latest plans to extend biometric security, allegedly for our safety and protection but really we suspect to extend the powers of surveillance enjoyed by central authority, ought to be the straw that breaks the camel's back and triggers wholesale resistance to the march of technology. Are you ready to start defending your freedom?

The Mad Scientists Mania For Genetically Modifying Everything
Genetically Modified (GM) organisms? The science is setttled right, the only way to feed the world's growing population is to accept GM foods and hand control of the human food chain to some of the nastiest, most fascistic corporate busineses on earth, right? Well fortunately it is not as clear cut as that, independent research shows GM crops do not give increased yields and do pose very significant risks for humans, wildlife and the environment.

Why Do Those On The Political Left Assume They Have A Monopoly On Goodness And Truth
Political philosophy: As politics and society become more binary and polarise so that according to a self sppoined elite there are only two possible points of view on any issue, public debate is stifled and the polarised left and right end up attacking the other's right to free speech. It has nothing to do with liberal democracy

Measles Outbreak Traced to Fully Vaccinated Patient for First Time
Government and Corporate propaganda suggests there is no reason why anyone should have doubts about vaccines, they are 100% effective and can never cause harm. Propaganda is however the tools authoritarianism uses when the truth is unpalatable. Read below of how real world evidence exposes more big Pharma ciminality and dishonesty about vaccines

Washington Is Humanity’s Worst Enemy I still come across the occasional American nut job (as many of them are left wing as right wing) who tell me the USA is a beacon of democracy, justice and liberty. Evan as the Obama administration buts its push towards Stalinism into overdrive by advancing the descpicable United Nations Agenda 21 which will abolish private proptery amd make us all slaves to government. Obama famously promised his administration would be a ...

Neuroscientist Sounds Alarm About Proliferation Of Wireless Electronic Technology
We have said in the past science is out of control, politicians and corporate leaders hungry for power and profit are willing to believe the most outrageous claims of academics and scientists and the concerns of ordinary people are swept aside. Fortunately there are some responsible scientists out there who are not afraid to shot at the sacred cows.

Is Biocentrism The Theory Of Everything And Does It Prove There Is Life After death - Weird science
Newtonian materialism and determinism, the orthodox creed of The Church of Scientism, is obviously as wrong scientifically as the idea that God created the universe in seven days arounf 6,000 years ago. While religious metaphor is perfectly acceptable to me, when I question the dogma of science, the science worshippers shout heretic and start a medieval witch hunt. Yet thee are many scientifically and logically sound ideas that offer better answers than determinism.

Climate Controled Communities - Science Leading The Rush To Fascism.
Living in climate controlled cities, communities sheltered under giant plexiglas domes from hostile nature has been an idea loved by sci - fi writers for many years. And as modern scientists seem to obtain their scientific education from Star Trek and The Matrix, is it any wonder they are talking about making the idea reality?

Swine Flu Scam Exposed: Useless Drugs And Vaccines - Lying Science Whores
The propaganda aimed at convincing us medical science can provide a vaccine to immunise us against death is not about the greatest good of the greatest number, it is about corporate profit and political power. Five years after the even the lies and fraud that created the swine flu 'pandemic' of 2009 are exposed. It was just a scam to sell a drug the scientists and manufacturers knew was no good.

Vaccine Tuth: Corporate Profits Are More Important Than Public Health. Yet more information exposing the truth about the vaccine and mass medication industry, because that is what medicine has become, an industry, a cash cow for corporate fascists. And vaccines are one of the biggest profit drivers ...

Is Technology Creating Physical and Psychological Hazards In The Digital Age?
Scientific research used to be the area of work that trailblazers, those with an unquenchable desire for new experience and a hyperactive sense of adventure wanted to be involved in. Now those who label themselves 'scientists' seem to have become the high priests of an ultra - conservative religion, determined at all costs to block progess that may lead to understanding that the dogmas of the past are just wrong

Western intelligence and the mysterious MH370 ping - a conspiracy of intelligence agencies
The mystery of Malaysian Airlines flight 370 deepens as does the ocean in which the authories are pretending to search for the disappeared Boeing 777. The latest reports coming out of the international search effort suggest however that having become a military intelligence operation rather than a civilian aviation matter, the whole thing is descending into farce

The Mummers: The Controlling system And The Illusion Of Freedom
We live in a world of deception, where truth is an ephemeral thing, slippery as an eel and shadowy as a spectre. What we are expercted to perceive as reality is just spin and misinformation designed to ensure the elite maintain their control. There's eff all you can do just get on with your life, say the shills for big government and authoritarianism. But are we really nothing more than slaves of the system?

Primary School Teacher Forced Out For Teaching It's OK To Be Gay
The thought police are well and truly embedded in the education system, the legal system, government and public services, everywhere you look in fact. Their dovtrines of multiculturalism and diversity and they sacred cows of human rights ad equality are suppressing freedom of speech and thought. But what do the politically correct thought police do when two of their sacred cows come into conflict ...

Albert Einstein Talks With Jon Rappoport About Newtonian Materialism and Determinism
Another page from Greenteeth Labyrinth with shines the light of reason onto the scientific hocus pocus and magical thinking that presents fairy tales as science and asks us to believe things that are obviously not true. To read or listen to some of the convoluted logic used to head off critical analysis of the fallactious belief of science you'd think scientists were priests of some nutty religion. Scienceology?

US-EU Trans-Atlantic Free Trade Agreement (TAFTA) Will Have Devastating Social and Environmental Consequences
Can a free trade treaty really be called that when the 'free' is refers to is freeing nasty corporations like Monsanto, Dow Chemical, BP, Exxon, the Drugs and mudicine cartel or the big bankers from having to compley with laws enacted by electrd governments that the corporate interests don't like. Of course not. Read below to learn how globalisation became a polite word for fascism.

Some Experiments In Quantum Physics To Make You Doubt Your Sanity
Nothing is ever what is seems to be. I would have thought most people as they go through life would learn this, but no; I am constantly surprised by the number of seemingly intelligent people who would never dream of questioning versions of events that really are little more than propaganda for those whose interests are served by preserving the status quo. Most science is wrong, far too much of it relies on statistics, a lot more is nothing but mathematical speculation. And yet we are told

What Have We Told You About Mad Scientists And The God Complex
Those people of accuse me of being "anti-science" need to read this. I am not anti - science (science means knowledge so it is not possible to be anti - science. What I am anti is lunacy, giving psychopaths power and wasting taxpayers money - and if that means some twat kills himself because what I write makes him realise he will never walk on Mars or explore distant galaxies, well so what? The world needs less arseholes.

Ofsted: all parents should get a ‘checklist’ telling them how to raise their children
This is surely the most fuckwitted idea yet dreamed up by the fuckwits who populate our universities, living the high life on research grants funded by out money while they dream up fuckwitted social engineering projects to fuck up our dysfuctional civilisation even more. Unless of course there is a hidden agenda ...

I Don't Know Which Is The Craziest April Fool
Just browsing a collection of blog posts I stumbled upon these two. Not sure which is the crazier:
Wind turbines kill horses, says American study
A new study from America has shown that young male horses are naturally drawn to a wind turbine’s rotating blades, which from a distance appear to them to resemble an audience of thin white lady horses, each giving them a big

Manufacturing Madness: The Pseudoscience of Modern Psychiatry
Mental Illness. If we have not reached it already, we are close to the point at which any minor eccentricity or expression of individuality can be diagnosed as a mental health problem for which some kind of therapy (usually involving the toxic products peddled by Big pharma) is necessary. But is this any thing more that a sleazy scam to make us all patients for life?

Foreign Exchange Market Rigging: Another Conspiracy Theory Exposed As Truth
The people who findly imagine themselves to be realists, rationalists and scientific thinkers have been yelling conspiracy theory for a long time now at those of us with the nous to work out what's really going on. well evidence is overrated because by the time it has come together the scam has been done and the perps (Goldman Sachs and the usual suspects) are away with the money.

Kerry stops Short Of Saying Climate Science Scepticism Is a Crime But ...
Everyone thought the global warming scam had receded into the background but Our New Unhappy Lords can't afford to give up on the carbon taxes they hoped for so easily. Though the evidence offered by the latest IPCC report offers only likewarm support for the idea that climate change will wipe out life on earth, the media hype has gone into full fear and panic mode

Intrusive Surveillance Technology, Internet control freaks and The Orwell-Huxley-Dick Dystiopianometer
Are privacy campaigners right to be worried about intrustive internet technology and the massive databases that log our behaviour and parse the data for patters that enable us to be targeted for advertising? Should we bee worried by surveillance or are those that raise doubts just scaremongering? The Orwell-huxley-Dick dystopianometer is rising.

What Is Democracy? Alf Garnett and Vladimir Putin Understand It
People talk about democracy and rule of law, but do they really understand what is involved in running a democratic nation like Britain or Russia with their large populations

Heading For The Last Roundup? GM crops a weapon of mass destruction
How did the title of a sentimental cowboy song take on such a sinister undertone in this Brave New World of The Scientific Dictatorship. Well when you remember Roundup is the brand of a herbicide based on the highly potent toxing gyphosate and genetic engineering has turned the food we eat into a delivery system for putting this poison into our bodies, you realise we could all be headinf for the last Roundup sooner than we would like

HAARP: Have Scientists, In Their Quest For World Domination, Opened Pandora's Box Of Troubles
Mention HAARP and you will get the Church of Scientism cultists yelling "Conspiracy Theorist" like the religious fanatics that they are. but HAARP (High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program) is no conspiracy theory, it is a well documented and officially acknowledged research project. We know what is can be used for (examined here in part 1 of a series) but what IS it being used for and what are the possible consequences. That will be looked at later ...

New World Order annexation of Ukraine.
Is it true that the uprising in Ukraine was anything but the spontaneous rebellion of a disenchanted population? Was it is fact just another regime change operation orchestrated by the FUKUS axis on behalf of the corporate and financial cartel that has hijacked western democracy.

Giant Whitewash Slick Sighted In Indian Ocean
The Malaysian Airlines missing Boeing 777 mystery is over, the mouthpieces of the New World Orderr declare. Though no wreckage has been found and technological data points to a very different conclusion, the powers that be have decided we must all accept the boeing 777 few way beyond its range, into a remote area of the Indian Ocean well over a thousand miles from land where the pilot ditched it. and we can all stop asking difficult question or else - see!

So Who Is Anti - science? Those Who Question Climate Change Or Those Who Would Abolish Free Speech
It was looking as if the global warming scare was dead, then that Nazi shit Barack Obama, seeing his dream of being President Of The World slipping away, gave his science whores enough money to enable them to kick some life back into it. Now the "science" lobby, unable to put together an convincing argument against their challengers are demanding the abolition of free speech.

Neuroscience Is Wrong. Human consciousness Did Not Spontaneously Occur Because Our Brains Got Big
One of the most obviously bogus of the new pseudo science disciplines in neuroscience. Not neurology, that is study of the brain - neuroscience is the study and subjective interpreatation of statistics obrained from electronically scanning the brain. So can these scientists really read your thoughts as they claim. Wel in a word, NO and anyone who tells you otherwise is having a laugh.

Save The African Clitoris
British Courts have started prosecuting the crime of Female Genital Mutilation, the barbaric practice popular in some African and middle eastern cultures of removing a woman's clitoris and labia at puberty. Meanwhile in Burkina Faso, western poverty millionaires have typically turned this barbaric practice into a monry making opportunity

One In Four Americans Don't Know The Earth Circles The Sun - Does It Matter?
When results of a survey suggested one in four American's does not know the earth orbits the sub, they Church of scientism Cult went into a frenzy about religion and ignorance. but does it really matter that much? OK, it's science but all the same it has little relevance to our daily lives. We examine the bigoted attitudes of the science fan club and their narrow mindedness.

Big Bang, The Cosmos, The Meaning Of Life And You
Scientists are claiming another breakthrough in our understanding of the uiverse. As usual they have found nothing, when science wanders into the territory of philosophy what is usually discovered (apart from being exactly whast the research project hoped to discover, is just a different subjective interpreatation of data to all the previous ones.

Venezuela Deals Blow to Banksters, Global Fascists and New World Order.
A few weeks ago we reported that a US sponsored campaign of civil unrest aimed at destabilising Venezuela was underr way as the latest target for US / New World Order colonisation was engulfed by riots. Unfortunately for the USA's Obama Administration and their globalist banker paymaters, Venezueal is proving just as tough a nut to crack as Ukraine, Syria, Egypt and Afghanistan.

Malaysia Airlines flight 370 Flown To Diego Garcia?
The days go by and there is still not sign of the mission Boeing 777 aircraft, Malaysia Airlines flight 370 which went disappeared without trace, along with all 200 plus passengers and the crew on a commercial flight from Kuala Lumpur to Beijing ten days ago. Mainstream news is offering only diversions and misdirections, but the Daily Stirrer is looking at the serious possibilities

Putin Could Win World War Three Without Firing A Shot.
Leaders of the USA and EU continue on their lunatic course of provoking confrontation with Russia, forgetting Russia's most powerful ally is China and with Iran onside and India, Brazil, Pakistan, most African nations and the oil producers of the middle east not having many reasons to love the west, it looks as if Obama, Cameron and Co. may have misread the situation ...

Ukraine Crisis: Putin Signs Treaty Making Crimea Part Of Russia - EU / US alliance Says Boo!
In spite of the west's sabre rattling, Russia continuers to ignore threats and Putin laughs at Obama's tough talk. So where does the crisis in Ukraine and The Crimea go next?

Modern Maths Teaching Is Making Children Mentally Ill
It is a well established fact that people who are good at mathematics are insane so why are we making such a big deal of abstract maths in proressive education when what most people will need to earn a living is a good command of basic arithmetic - which modern education is failing to give them.

The Crimea Referendum: tragedy or farce?
The world teeters on the edge of war as Obama continues to provoke Putin and the Russian leader coninues to flick V signs at Washington. Will Obama do something following the latest insult after he demanded that Russia drop it's support for a referendum in Crimea on independence from Ukraine was contemptuously ignored?

Agenda 21: Wyoming welder faces $75,000 a day in EPA fines for building pond on his property
Agenda 21 may not have gained much traction here in Europe yet but it is forging ahead with its agenda of seizing control of private property and abolishing individual freedom in the USA where the fascist excesses of The Emperor Obama and his tyrannical administration are at war with the people. Think I'm exaggerating? Fools...

As Crisis Deepens Ukraine Population Show They Still Have a Sense Of Humour
The US administration seem to be set on provoking Russia into war over Ukraine. It is probably the most idiotic episode in the career of the idiotic American rent Boy President Barack Hussein Obama. With China and Iran siding with Russia and Idia leaning in their direction while the European Union cannot push too hard while Russia controls the gas pipelines, the west can't win.

USA, Russia, Economic War Over Ukraine - an explainer
As economic war between the EU / USA and Russia lookes more likely than a shooting war between east and west over Ukraine, we look at the reasons why it has come to this and the likely consequences for our readers.

Transatlantic Trade And Investment Partnership Attacks Democracy
The fascist global government lobby is up to iut's tricks again, not content with trying to force the Trans Pacific Partnership (TPP) on Asian nations and only succeeding in driving those nations closer politically and economically to Russia and China, the neo Nazi New World Order is not trying the same trick to rob European nations of their sovereign powers and put the banking / corporate cartel above all national interests.

Google's Brave New World Of Artificial Intelligence - And The Destruction Humanity
Almost every day we hear scientists burbling about artificial intelligence and how very soon machines will be smarter than humans. As scientists are nowhere near as smart as humans its hard to see how science can build something smarter. The problem is of course we don't understand what contsitutes intelligence - those who think academic qualifications are the only indicator are retards. So where will this madness to replace us with machines end?

Missing Malaysian Aircraft: Crash Or Cover Up?
How can a modern aircraft equipped with sophisticated (and bomb proof) tracking and security technology which is designed to stay intact through a crash or in flight explosion and keep tramsmitting its location for up to 30 days after being separated from the aircraft, just vanish. Yet that is exactly what we are being asked to believe happened to a Malasia Airlines Boeing 777 en route to China. The deeper we delve, the murkier the story gets ... read on below

There Is A Global Conspiracy Says World Bank Insider
We have reported on many situations that make it obvious our political leaders are collaborating with bankers and global corporations towards, it appears, a global government. Is this conspiracy in the inteerests of we the punters? You can bet your life it isn't. So far however it has been hard to convince indoctrinated Marxists and people who believe singing Kumbaya will make things right, that big government is not our friend but our enemy.

Your Lupins Or Your Life! EU Bureaucrats To Ban Your Favourite Flowers
With a video clip of the Monty Python sketch the title refers to, this Boggart blog satire takes a wey look at new powers being sought by EU bureaucrats that will enable them to order non native garden plants and shrubs to be dug up and destroyed even though these species have been part of European gardens for centuries. Could there be a more sinister motive behind the move? We think so.

Paedo Loving Comrade Mr. Harperson In Trouble Again
There seems to be no end to Labour's paedophile link woes. Allegations continue to surface about the three senior MPs, Patricia Hewitt, Harriet Harman and Jack Dromey who while working for the national Council for Civil Liberties supported an equal rights for paedophiles group which wanted the age of sexual concent lowered to FOUR. Meanwhile new revelations have now implicated a senior judge. The corrupt elitists have no morals.

Former US Presidential nomination runner Dennis Kucinich says US instigated Ukraine Crisis
We told you so - and now a US politician who once ran for the democratic nomination in the Presidential election has confirmed it, the USA and Europe were behind the revolution in Ukraine exactly as they have been in Egypt, Libya, Syria, Yemen, not to mention the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and as they were when The Balkans expoloded into war in the 1990s

E Bomb? Putin Has Obama Over A Fracking Barrel Again On Economic Sanctions.
While western media continue to provide immaculate body service to Barack Obama by swallowing all his shit, the US energy boom is falling short of expectations and Putin is still runnung rings round The Rent Boy President

The Science Fraud: Many Scientific Research Papers Are Pure Gobbledegook
The war between humanities and science goes on, both in academic faculties and internet comment threads. But in an environment that is increasingly politicised and influenced by corporate profit motives rather than the pure and unsullied pursuit of knowledge, can we trust either side? This article suggests not.


HAARP: Scientists Open Pandora's Box With Experiments In Changing The Climate
What do you think of the freak weather this year? Coincidence, climate change, solar activity or something more sinister. If you have heard the term HAARP chances are you're pretty sceptical about the official line. HAARP - the High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program is a research programme that experiments with changing the earh's upper atmosphere. you don't have to understand much science to realise it proves that as John Lennon said the world is run by insane people.

Geoengineering exposed
Most of the discussion about geoengineering has centred on chemtrails, those persistent vapour trails left by jet aircraft which seem to hand around much longer and behave very differently to the condensation trails we have been seeing since jet aircraft became a regular features of the skies above us

Homosexuality: As a liberal society we have a duty to tolderate, not celebrate.
Even though the government has accepted a very limited definition of same sex marriage the gay lobby keeps raving on about the greates non issue of all time. But in a free society should we be subjected to bullying if we do not show enough enthusiasm for homosexual and lesbian relationships? When did indifference become a hate crime?

World On The Brink - USA And Russia Square Up In Ukraine
It looks like this might be the big one. With all America's plans to destabilise non supine nations in ruins as phase 2, the intstallation of a puppet government proved impossible, Obama who has already been bested by Putin several times cannot back down again. And this time the Russians have forced the crisis in their own backyard where the USA cannot possibly win. Interesting

Climate change and the unsinkable Pacific Islands
Idiots like Cameron and Obama are still swallowing the bullshit of climate science scammers by the shovelful and saying a slight increase in the average global temperature will pose an existential threat to humanity. but one by one the threats are being exposed as hype by research grant phishing scientists, just as the science of mathematical models is being shown to rely on fraudulent data.

Internet Trolls - Are They Contractors Paid To Suppress Open Discussion Of Sensitive Subjects?.
Everyone who likes to follow online debates on sensitive or controversial topics will have encountered trolls. but are these people really just angry and obsessive, excesssively self righteous individuals. Or is there anyting in the claims that they are employed by contractors to suppress open discussion and discredit points of view which do not support government or corporate interests.

Ukraine: Russia launches 'armed invasion' as Obama warns Moscow of 'costs' of intervention
The FUKUS axis - well mainly the US, France and the UK are just sockpuppets as any fule kno - look to have screwed up again. With proof having emerged that the USA and the EU are unrest in Ukraine, Russia has taken steps to safeguard eyjnic Russians in the country. Obama warned of 'consequences' if Russia intervened - Russia sent more troops

Facebook boss Zukerberg Wants To Own The Internet
Facebook's latest acquisition Whatsapp cost $19bn, that's $40 per user. Whatsapp charge their users $1 per year. That means it will take Facebook 40 years to recover their outlay. And people are buying shares in this company? Insane.

Pollution Could Save Us From Climate Change Disaster
As politicians become ever more hysterical and scientists become ever more crazy about climate change because less and less people believe them while more and more climate scaremongering is exposed as junk science or plain and simple fraud, if it really is necessary or desirable to cool the earth's atmosphere, then according to some chinese scientists, the answer is staring us in the face.

So You Think Control Of Media Is A Conspiracy Theory
A story I found on Zero Hedge concerns a factual article posted on the Financial Times website which was quickly removed and never appeared in print. Zero Hedge reproduce the article in full so I was able to verify its content. "Two days ago the FT released a clear, informative and fact-based article, titled simply enough "Gold price rigging fears put investors on alert" in which ..."

Geo - Engineering: The Science Isn't Settled

In another case of scientific dictatorship the American Government and the corporate cartel have invoked a Big Science scam to make $$$billions from geo engineering schemes 'to save the planet from climate change disaster'. The science is settled they tell us. Unfortunately once again it isn't. Geoengineering could have ‘catastrophic consequences’: Schemes to control climate change could backfire, a large group of concerned and influential scientists have warned.

Labour, The Party Of The Rich, Well - Connected, Elitist, Paedophile People
Labours paedophile agony goes on. Put on the reack by The Daily Mail over the involvement of three senior MPs with paedophile equal rights group PIE, the response was to deny the allegations. Unfortunately evert time harriet Harman, Jack Dromey or Patricia Hewitt deny something, The Mail produce documents to suppport their story.

Can Washington Change Three regimes At Once The FUKUS axis - let's be honest, the Obama Administration in the USA, France and the UK are just sockpuppets, may have bitten off more than they can chew in trying to deliveer regime change in three nations at one to satisfy their paymasters the global bankers. The log jam has developed because of the failure to remove assad in Syria and the resolute support of Russia, China and Iran for their ally.

Transhumanism - What The Elite And Their Science Whores Have Planned For You
Transhumanism, the creation of - or turning us into - part human, part machine cyborgs is generating a lot of discussion and a lot of spontaneous ejaculations in the scientific community as they contemplate having their brains replaced by a computer. There are no limits on the ambitions of scientists fantasies, they even envisage creating robots that can interbreed with us, but how much is realistic?