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Rompuy - Pumpy Rules EU


The newly reformed, even less democratic than before European Union has its first President. But will Herman Van Rompuy achieve anything or will his name just inspire rumpy-pumy jokes?

Rompuy Pumpy Rules EU
by Ian R Thorpe
2009-11-23
CREATIVE COMMONS: Attribute, non commercial, no derivs.
KEYWORDS: EU,europe,politics,europe,blair,obama,sex,bureaucrats,humour,humor

This weekend we are having a bit of a booze up in the Boggart Blog office as we celebrate another political success for our campaigning journalism. Our reporting of the stitch up being prepared to push Tony Blair into the post of EU President stopped the Blair bandwagon in its tracks.

The man now appointed President (no elections for anything that matters in the democratic European Union) is Herman Van Rompuy (pron: rumpy) far from having the global reputation EU leaders said a President should have is not even a household name in his own house.

But what of Blair’s alleged “traffic stopping factor,” the international celebrity that was supposed to sweep him into office? It may just have been the invention of Gordon Brown in response to complaints that the present Prime Minister’s support for his predecessor was less than wholehearted.

Did Tony Blair ever really have the traffic stopping X factor? you might well ask. Let’s face it he’s not Jedward is he? Most people I know, if they saw Tony Blair crossing the road would not top but put the pedal to the metal and go flat out for him.

There is no politician in the world who could make traffic stop other than at the road block preventing access to the security zone and only one who could make traffic slow down. That of course is Barack Obama and it is not his charisma or popularity that caught drivers’ attention as the remarkable resemblance his reed like (when not photoshopped) body and jug ears give him to a speed camera.

But what of our new EU President? Will he make any difference in Europe? Will Rumpy really rule?

In my experience it always did. When I worked for the EU Commission in Luxembourg the Baittement Jean Monnet sizzled with the sound of European Integration, (excuse me, I have just come over all misty eyed as memories of Claire Dondelanger surface.) It was inevitable I suppose, people were a long way from home and did not have enough work to keep them busy. We had to find something to do.

The problem was less acute for bureaucrats, they can easily fill a seven hour day with counting pens and managing their time management diary. For the rest of us, specialist consultants, highly motivated go getters that we were, whiling away the long hours between coffee and lunch breaks was bound to lead to mischief and mucho rumpy - pumpy.

So, apart from creation a whole new layer of the bureaucratic hierarchy will the appointment of Rompuy achieve anything.

In a world, no.

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