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Mozart Exposes Another Scientific Scam
The world is in trouble, over production, over consumption and over population combine to mess up the environment, the global exonomic system and the societies humans have formed. And the only solution our leaders can offer? More of the same stuff that screwed everything up ...

Mozart Exposes Another Scientific Scam
by Ian R Thorpe
2011-09-12
CREATIVE COMMONS: Attribute, non commercial, no derivs.
KEYWORDS:mozart, classical, music, science, scientific, bogus, research, babies, pregmnant, women, foetus, liberal, intelligent, drugs, evidence, satire, humour, humor, ianrthorpe, ian thorpe

Playing Mozart to your unborn child will not boost your intelligence, new research has found. So if you have been playing Rondo A La Turk or Eine Kleine Nachtmusic up you wife or girlfriend's chuff tewnty-four/seven hoping it will improve your child's performance at school or turn said child into an infant genius who gets their first PhD at age seven, give the lass a break and let her listen to some Take That or Adele.

The so called "Mozart effect" was first introduced to the public's attention in 1993, when a "peer reviewed" study published in the prestigious and gobsmackingly pompous "scientific" journal Nature reported that fastening a set of speakers playing Mozart's 1781 sonata for two pianos in D major (KV 488) to a pregnant lady's belly with gaffer tape would lead to her having a super intelligent and preternaturally mature child. (OK I misrepresented that a bit for comic effect.) In fact the study showed that listening to classical music improved college students cognitive abilities compared with students who listed to other music or none at all.

Since then sales of Mozart CDs for children have become popular very popular among "Liberal" parents in the USA and Daily Mail readers in the UK. In 1998 the state of Georgia even gave every mother of a newborn baby a free classical music CD. It's no effing wonder then that kids are all hooked on Ketamine, Miaow miaow and Crystal Meth, are sexually degenerate and are out of the streets causing trouble. The burden of such expectations and the derogatory effect of classical music on the minds of people who want only to listen to Rage Against the Machine or the simian rapping of MC Kunty Kunt and the Misogynistic Kuntz.

Some of you will have noticed that I am seldom impressed by those who call themselves "scientists" and bang on about the "scientific method" as if a bunch of addle brained coneheads in white coats are the only human beings who are capable of working methodically. Accountants are, are they not, methodical? Bookies who lay bets on horse racing and other events are, are they not, methodical? Child murderers are, are they not, methodical in the way they stalk, groom, abduct and kill their selected victims and then cover up the evidence?

Although I said this was a properly set up and conducted experiment and study, carried out scientifically by science tits using science as usual the so called scientific method got in the way of the science tits seeing what was staring them in the fucking face, i.e. that people are different and react differently to stimuli.. The findings of the classical music study, met with scepticism in the neurological community (Mozart schmozart) and other studies failed to reproduce the results. And no wonder, those among you who are well informed may recall Alex, the murderous young thug who is the central character in A Clockwork Orange was a big fan of Beethoven. Anthony Burgess knew just what he was doing in creating that fictional device.

Now, to determine once and for all whether the Mozart effect really exists, psychologists from the University of Vienna have conducted a meta-analysis of the results of 40 different studies involving over 3000 people worldwide.

The researchers say their findings clearly demonstrate the Mozart effect is no more than a myth.

"I recommend listening to Mozart to everyone, but it will not meet expectations of boosting a person's cognitive abilities," said Dr Jakob Pietschnig, who led the study.

As The Daily Stirrer has said many times, science is not a method, a religion or a political position, it is "a formal and classified body of knowledge," (OED). Nor is it a branch of the dark arts like statistics. For a test to be scientific the conditions and results must always be the same. And babies, unscientific little fuckers that they are, have this frustrating knack of all being different.

Once again the purpose of a Daily Stirrer article on science is (apart from taking the piss out of cupid stunts who think they're scientists because they can't get laid) to demonstrate to people who have been brainwashed into believing science is an Almighty and omnipotent deity, that it isn't. On a scale of human activities graded by their contribution to the greater good, modern science ranks somewhere between selling used cars and operating Ponzi schemes.

(The Mozart effect was recently ranked sixth in the book '50 Great Myths of Popular Psychology', authored by psychologist Scott E. Lilienfield - Read more.)

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CREATIVE COMMONS: Attribute, non commercial, no derivs.
KEYWORDS:mozart, classical, music, science, scientific, bogus, research, babies, pregmnant, women, foetus, liberal, intelligent, drugs, evidence, satire, humour, humor, ianrthorpe, ian thorpe

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BBC Comedy

BBC Comedy Blog
Updated : Tue, 28 Aug 2012 09:53:42 +0000

Comedy and Multiplatform

 

Up in Edinburgh, the BBC's College of Production (COP) has been talking to comedians about online shennanigans. The COP's Catherine Scott writes...


Yesterday saw four of comedy's bright new stars share their thoughts on how to be 'funny and multiplatform', during BBC College of Production's live podcast from the BBC Edinburgh Festival base in Potterow. The panel consisted of Daniel Berg, the comedy writer and developer who specialises in viral video, Bec Hill, named one of the "Top 10 Funniest Comedians on Twitter", Arron Ferguson of alternative comedy duo Not The Adventures of Moleman and Iván González, one half of Foster's Edinburgh Comedy Award 2011-winning duo Max and Ivan.

Prolific Tweeter Bec Hill told us how she started using online platforms simply to share her comedy sketches and cartoons with her friends, and was pleasantly surprised when it snowballed into a 3000+ Twitter following. Bec also noted that her online audience has grown much faster than her live audience – "I've reached 100,000 views on YouTube, I certainly haven’t got that in Edinburgh yet!".

Daniel Berg's passion for viral videos was evident when a strong gust of Scottish wind blasted through the pink tent and he remarked "Film that, that'll go viral!". Daniel spoke of how social media and online platforms give new acts the chance for exposure without the need to be commissioned. When wrangling with the shorter attention span of the internet audience, Daniel’s advice to comedians was "Keep your content topical, and keep it short."

Ivan Gonzalez sang the praises of online platforms such as YouTube for giving comedians creative control, and also gave a shout-out to BBC's iPlayer and Feed My Funny for allowing viewers to access comedy outside the restrictions of viewing schedules. Like Bec Hill, Ivan also enjoys the immediacy of 140 character jokes on Twitter – and if the #EdFest feed this week is anything to go by, so do a lot of us (“Just been to a lecture on how to build a ship. Riveting!")

Arron Ferguson's two-man sketch troupe Not The Adventures of Moleman actually began as a solely online act, only venturing out onto the live circuit once they had built a large online following. Noting that "some people think you need to be live to be comedians", Arron pointed out that a lot of NTAOM's sketches actually work better online, because film can provide subtle shots that might be missed in onstage comedy. Arron also gave us possibly the most useful piece of advice on treating online platforms with respect – "Don’t use Twitter to invite all your fans to KFC!"

Although the public passion for live comedy gigs remains strong, any new comedian entering the industry should remember that there is a plethora of other options available to them for making their name and getting their work out there. It might take a while to build up 100,000 hits on YouTube or 1000 followers on Twitter, but as our guests concluded “As long as you’re having fun, that's what matters."

Listen to the full podcast.

Follow College of Production @BBCCop


Publ.Date : Thu, 23 Aug 2012 13:48:00 +0000

Comedy Talent Search - Laugh Track

BBC Comedy Commissioning and BBC Writersroom have joined forces for a second nationwide talent search to find new comedy gold. If you have a big studio sitcom brewing in your mind and can tell original stories, invent characters and catchphrases that can make a live audience laugh, then send in your script.

This is an opportunity not to be missed - you may get the chance of your work performed at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival and at our Sitcom Showcase at the Studio in MediaCity, Salford. You could also be in line for a comedy masterclass on how to write studio sitcoms, plus an intensive week away developing your idea hand-in-hand with BBC comedy producers and established comedy writing talent.

 

The amazing Dawn French will be on the panel of judges. Cheryl Taylor (Controller, Comedy Commissioning), who judged last year's BBC writersroom comedy talent search says: "I was thrilled last year by the number of very funny and original scripts that we were asked to judge. It was a pleasure to read all of the short listed projects as was having the opportunity to meet some of their very talented authors."

The deadling for entries is Wednesday, 21 March 2012. For information on how to enter, visit the Writersroom website.


Publ.Date : Thu, 02 Feb 2012 13:52:39 +0000

Leaked Emails: 'The Greatest Show on Earth'?

Twenty Twelve is returning to our screens on Friday at 10pm on BBC Two.

With the official announcement this week that the Olympic site is coming along nicely, the Twenty Twelve Deliverance team have been working around the clock to ensure that the games go off without a hitch.

Unfortunately, Graham must have left his computer unlocked, as we've been forwarded some e-mails that Ian might not want to world to see...


From: Ian Fletcher
To: Nick Jowett; Graham Hitchins; Kay Hope; Siobhan Sharpe
Subject: IOC visit

 
As you are no doubt aware, the International Olympic Committee are in London this week and will be visiting our offices on Friday. Following the PM's lead, our official line on the London games is that (despite what I may have said in Wednesday’s meeting) they will be "the greatest show on earth".


From: Graham Hitchins
To: Ian Fletcher; Nick Jowett; Kay Hope; Siobhan Sharpe
Subject: RE: IOC visit

What about Cirque du Soleil?

From: Ian Fletcher
To: Graham Hitchins; Nick Jowett; Kay Hope; Siobhan Sharpe
Subject: RE: IOC visit
 
What about Cirque do Soleil??!

From: Graham Hitchins
To: Ian Fletcher; Nick Jowett; Kay Hope; Siobhan Sharpe
Subject: RE: IOC visit

That was my question.


From: Ian Fletcher
To: Nick Jowett; Graham Hitchins; Kay Hope; Siobhan Sharpe
Subject: RE: IOC visit
 
I KNOW - I was making point. Specifically: what you may personally believe is irrelevant - when speaking to anyone from the IOC, this year's games will be the greatest show on earth. OK?

From: Siobhan Sharpe
To: Ian Fletcher; Nick Jowett; Kay Hope; Graham Hitchins
Subject: RE: IOC visit
 
Pyramids.

From: Ian Fletcher
To: Graham Hitchins; Nick Jowett; Kay Hope; Siobhan Sharpe
Subject: RE: IOC visit
 
Siobhan, I know I have repeatedly asked you to make your emails more succinct, but I think we need to find a middle ground here.

From: Siobhan Sharpe
To: Ian Fletcher; Graham Hitchins; Nick Jowett; Kay Hope
Subject: RE: IOC visit
 
Pretty sure that the pyramids are one of 'the greatest shows on earth'. Duh. Should be worried about copyright issues?

From: Ian Fletcher
To: Siobhan Sharpe; Graham Hitchins; Nick Jowett; Kay Hope
Subject: RE: IOC visit
 
You're thinking of 'wonders of the world'. No-one has ever said that the London Olympics will be one of the seven wonders of the world.
 

...Well, the Mayor did, but we managed to keep it out of the press.


From: Ian Fletcher
To: Siobhan Sharpe; Graham Hitchins; Nick Jowett; Kay Hope
Subject: IOC visit - update!

UPDATE: It seems that the PM has also said "London will be ready on time and on budget" which, to put it charitably, is a half-truth. The press are likely to jump all over this, so today might be a good day to bury any embarrassing news we’ve been sitting on.

From: Siobhan Sharpe
To: Ian Fletcher; Graham Hitchins; Nick Jowett; Kay Hope
Subject: RE: IOC visit - update!

I’m on it!

From: Ian Fletcher
To: Graham Hitchins; Nick Jowett; Kay Hope; Siobhan Sharpe
Subject: RE: IOC visit - update!

WHO ISSUED A PRESS RELEASE SAYING WE ARE BEHIND SCHEDULE AND OVER BUDGET??!!

From: Siobhan Sharpe
To: Ian Fletcher; Graham Hitchins; Nick Jowett; Kay Hope
Subject: <<Out of Office AutoReply>> RE: IOC visit - update!
  
Thank you for your message. I am currently out of the office at an emergency press briefing. If your query is press-related please contact Ian.Fletcher@ODC2012.co.uk

From: Ian Fletcher
To: Graham Hitchins; Nick Jowett; Kay Hope; Siobhan Sharpe
Subject: <<Out of Office AutoReply>> RE: IOC visit - update!

Thank you for your message. I am currently out of the office at an unforeseen press briefing. If your query is Olympics-related please contact Siobhan@PerfectCurve.co.uk

Ian.
 
More from Twenty Twelve:

The Twenty Twelve emails were written by Larry Rickard.


Publ.Date : Thu, 29 Mar 2012 15:30:00 +0000

Twenty Twelve is back!

Yep, that's right. Twenty Twelve is returning to our screens at 10pm on Friday 30th March on BBC Two.

This series the pressure mounts as the Olympic Deliverance team try to navigate their way through such delicate issues as how to handle the Algerian team's demand for a mosque in the Olympic village, and how to carry out a Legacy Audit on the rival bids for the Stadium when no one knows what a Legacy Audit is.

Here's a clip of Ian, Siobhan and the ever dedicated Sally, drafting a press release about the Deliverance teams commitment to 'multicuturality':

In order to see this content you need to have both Javascript enabled and Flash installed. Visit BBC Webwise for full instructions. If you're reading via RSS, you'll need to visit the blog to access this content.

More from Twenty Twelve:


Publ.Date : Fri, 23 Mar 2012 17:00:00 +0000

David Walliams' Mr Stink Comes to BBC One
 

"Mr Stink stank. He also stunk. And if it was correct English to say he stinked,
then he stinked as well…"

David Walliams' best-selling children's novel Mr Stink is set to come alive as a comedy drama for all the family on BBC One later this year.

The touching, twisted and hilarious tale tells of Mr Stink, who is befriended by a local girl Chloe. Chloe sees Mr Stink every day, but she's never spoken to him, which isn't surprising, because he's a tramp, and he stinks.

 

When it looks like Mr Stink might be driven out of town, Chloe hides her unusual friend in her garden shed. As she struggles to make sure no one sniffs out Mr Stink, her dad tries to hide a secret of his own, and the stage is set for an epic family confrontation. There is also one other person with an extraordinary secret: it turns out that there is more to Mr Stink than meets the eye… or nose.

David Walliams, who will play the role of the Prime Minister in the show, says: "I am beyond thrilled that BBC One is adapting my children's book 'Mr Stink' into a family film. I have written the script, and can't wait to see actors bring it to life." BBC One Controller Danny Cohen added: "Mr Stink is a heart-warming, nose-clenching and funny tale which will appeal to viewers of all ages. It's brilliant to be working with David to bring his magical tale to BBC One." Mark Freeland, Head of Comedy, finishes the stinky love-in by saying: "I am delighted that the BBC is continuing its relationship with the multi-talented David Walliams. Mr Stink has become an instant classic and it's so exciting to see it come to life on TV. Both my children would echo that. But then they both want parts, so…"


Publ.Date : Tue, 21 Feb 2012 08:00:00 +0000


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The Daily Mash
Updated : Tue, 05 May 2015 11:33:58 +0000

Ask Holly: Do you think I’d look good with a side ponytail?
WHICH one of you little imbeciles stuck the picture of a tiny phallus on my back?
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So we meet again, Southern tells commuters
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Publ.Date : Fri, 01 May 2015 08:16:41 +0000

Cameron offers to postpone General Election until 2020
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The Public Interest to Protect Powerful Paedophiles
The Director of Public Prosecutions has decided that it would not be in the public interest to prosecute serial paedophile Greville Janner, for many years the leader of the Zionist lobby in the UK. I presume that his convenient senility is the reason for non-prosecution ...

Reasons Why This Pagan Will Not Vote Labour, Conservative Or Liberal Democrat.
As we prepare to vote in a General Election that we are told will change British Politucs forever, Ian looks at a choice of three main parties that basically offer the same set of globalist, multiculturalist policies and consideres which way a pagan should vote.

The Truth - Labour Privatized The NHS between 1997 and 2010, Now Their Toxic Policies Are Bankrupting It
In the run up to the 2015 UK General Election, and without doubt beyond, one of the great political controversies will focus on the future of the national Health Service (NHS). While most voters consider The Conservatives to be the party of private profit and thus consider Labour a better choice to look after the NHS, Labour has in fact done more, and more damagingly, to privateize health services

NHS executives 'earn £35 million in pay rises' despite funding crisis
While Labour, Lib Dem and Green politicians accused the Conservatives of starving the NHS of cash,and as many Hospital Trusts faced financial problems and having to cut back on standards of care given to patients, we are learning that NHS bosses awarded themselves over £35 million in pay rises during the worst financial year in the history of the service.

Germany Needs A Revolution, Anti-Islam Campaigner Tells PEGIDA Supporters in Dresden
Dresden, Germany heard controversial Dutch politician Geert Wilders address them last night, as the group rebuilds momentum ground after weathering vicious and untrue attacks from German mainstream media, and physical violence from the usual left wing rent-a-mob thugs who always turn out to deny the right of free speech to those who opposed their views.

Anti-Science – The Church Of Scienceology's Latest Pejorative Term For People Who Think And Question.
We are not the only web site to take exception to accusations of being anti - science and all the other pejorative terms used by the Church Of Scienceology disciples to deflect criticism from independent minded people who are smart anough to ask Cui Bono? Which corporate business benefits.

Corporate Capitalism Has Replaced Democracy In Western Nations.
Although this is about the UK General Election in 2015 it has much wider relevance, concerning what is happening in the democratic societies of the developed nation. For that reason this look at how corporate capitalism is usurping democracy and individual freedom will also be relevant long after that election in May 2025.

World War Three? Kiev Reinvades Donbass, Deliberate Provocation Trashed Minsk Agreement
When America wants to provoke Russia it uses proxies, a rabble in Libya, Islamic fundamentalists in Syria and Iraq and neo - Nazi thugs in Ukraine. So far Russia has resisted the urge to kick Obama in the balls, but sooner or later the Russia - China - Iran alliance will respond.

Who Runs America? US Federal Trade Commission Takes Orders From Google
Barak Obama runs America surely, you might well be thinking. We would argue that no US President since Eisenhower has truly run the USA. But the latest revelation of how cosy the Obama Administration has become with corporate business, to the extent that government departments are taking instruction from Google will shock even the most cynical Americans

Rhodes Statue Defaced As South Africa Slides Back Into Primitive Tribalism
A statue of colonial leader Cecil Rhodes at the University of Cape Town has been removed after students launched an uncompromising campaign to have the British explorer and businessman expunged from history. Protesters poured red paint on the bronze figure and danced on the plinth as the statue was lifted off on Friday.

Punish Climate Change Liars" Demands Climate Change Liar
Over the years my scepticism about global warming and attempts to initiate intellgent discussion of the dodgy science based on mathematical models that forms the basis of the Warmageddonist case, versus much less alarming projections based on data from real world observations haveearned me accusations of being a child murderer. Not only that, some of the lefties who support climate fascism have demanded the death penalty for people who disagree with them. And yet they think it unfair to punish certain child rapists and murderers. Hypocrites.

US Soldiers Forced To Sit Through P C 'White Privilege Presentation. Not Happy Bunnies
The U.S. Army is investigating an unauthorized diversity training presentation on “white privilege” shown to hundreds of Georgia soldiers, USA Today reported, citing an Army spokeswoman. The Equal Opportunity training presentation was shown to about 400 soldiers of the 67th Signal Battalion at Fort Gordon on Thursday, according to Captain Lindsay Roman.

Britain's Racist Future: Labour Set To Throw Selection On Merit Out The Window
With four weeks to go until a General Election that could change the face of Britain forever, the Labour Party, which hopes to be elected to govern this great and proud nation, has unveiled a set of policies that would make minorities into privileged castes and relegate the white Working and middle classes to the status of second class citizens. Could you vote for a party that hates your country, your party and YOU?

Now We Know Why Huge TPP Trade Deal Is Kept Secret From the Public
A key section of the secret Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP) trade agreement has been leaked to the public. The New York Times has a major story on the contents of the leaked chapter, and it's as bad as many of us feared. Now we know why the corporations and the Obama administration want the TPP, a huge "trade" agreement being negotiated between the United States and 11 other countries, kept secret from the public until it's too late to stop it.

Judge Cuts 20 Year Old's Rape Sentence By 15 Years Because 'He Did Not Mean To Hurt 3-Year-Old Victim
It could only happen in the land of politically correct twattery of course, while here in the UK Labour Party supporters and the Islington Screechers corps wail and gnash their teeth over the fact that pedophiles are denied fulfillment and must be given the right to fuck four year olds, in California the judiciary are acting to rectify the situation ...

Teacher Forced To Resign For 'Sharing' Material Critical Of Obama And His Beloved Muslim Terrorists
The supporters of the wannabe King of the American Empire like to describe themselves as 'liberal', 'progressive', and left wing. If they were really any of those things they would not be as fanatically committed to the idea of suppressing free speech as they are.

US Presidents Of The Past warned Against Secret, Shadow Government. By now it should be obvious that peacemake, joybringer and putative aquatic pedestrian Barack Hussein Obama was never really in charge of the US Government. Whatever Obama said would happen, all the American government's policies ensured the opposit would happen. The embedded article thows some light on how the US government really works

Google Meets White House Officials Every Week Why?
... Given the close relationship the company has with the Obama administration, an administration which has shown itself to be severely "truth challenged," in its dealings with the public, this is of some concern.

Indiana pizza shop closes after anti-gay marriage comments; donations pour in


An Indiana pizza shop owner’s anti-gay marriage stance is paying off. Online supporters donated more than $33,000 in three hours to Memories Pizza after the pie maker’s controversial pledge not to cater same-sex weddings spawned a wave of criticism.

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