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Mad Scientists, Mosquitos and Ethics
Mad scientists are a fictional stereotype you might think, they exist in Bond films, pulp fiction anf B movies. Think again. A group of mad scientists have come up with a scheme to use genetically modified mosquitos with antigens in their saliva to eradicate illness by vaccinating the world by biting everybody.

Mad Scientists, Mosquitos and Ethics
by Ian R Thorpe
2010-08-18
CREATIVE COMMONS: Attribute, non commercial, no derivs.
KEYWORDS: science, scientists, medicine, medical, ethics, vaccine, human, mosquito, immune, antigen, doctor, nurse, insect, biology satire, humour, humor

In pulp fiction of the 1950s and 60s the words mad and scientist were as natural a pairing as tomato and ketchup, crooked and lawyer or instant and coffee. Scientists were always obsessive to the point of insanity, out of touch with reality, more interested in the cleverness of their theory than the likely disastrous consequences of their experiment and hell-bent on world domination. Dr. Evil in the Austin Powers films is a perfect illustration of the mad scientists, the archetypal Bond Villain.

Scientists are still mad of course, still single minded to a semi autistic level but they are not quite so overtly committed to world domination. Many would like to have implanted in all our brains a chip that would enable us to be given instruction from a central command and control centre that we could not disobey In a blog thread I saw recently one scientist actually said he looked forward to the day we could be fitted with such a chip then "religion, superstition and magical thinking would be things of the past and we would all live scientifically." As unthinking automatons I assume he meant - the cunt. Most people involved in the sciences have come to understand this will never happen. Well scientists are obsessed with 'evidence' and all the evidence from previous attempts to change human nature through bio-engineering, to control the climate, the growth cycle of plants and the effects of tides and ocean currents have ended up making things worse instead better.

While not talking about world domination some Japanese mad scientists have reaffirmed my faith in human collective insanity. Rather than world domination they are pursuing the goal of world vaccination. These nuts, as reported in the April issue of “Insect Molecular Biology”, claim they have developed a method of making mosquitoes into flying syringes full of vaccine.

The project involved adding an antigen (a compound that triggers an immune response) to a mosquito’s saliva. In theory when the new, antigen enriched mosquitoes select a tasty human for lunch, instead of infecting their dinner with malaria, yellow fever or a number of other diseases ranging from lethal to mildly inconvenient, the pesky insects will be inoculating the people they are dining on against those or other diseases.

Only a scientists would be unable to see at least a million of the flaws in this idea. I mean if these nuts had gone on Dragon's Den they would have been excoriated. First how do you make sure the mozzy is not biting someone not already vaccinated or that some poor fucker who is unlucky enough to be a mosquito magnet is not going to get a lethal overdose? How do you ensure everybody gets at least one bite? And so on...

Also the idea is completely unethical, going completely against the rule of medical ethics that forbids the vaccination of human beings without informed consent. How can you train a mosquito to obtain informed consent? And if someone can give consent, presumably they can also be vaccinated the old-fashioned, no-mozzy-bite-required way, by a handsome doctor or pretty nurse if they're lucky.

Molecular biologist Prof. Robert Sinden of Imperial College London is quoted in the article as being quite certain that no regulatory agency would sign off releasing the insects.

Apart from those few small problems it is a brilliant scheme that will instantly appeal to the world domination freak mad scientists of fifties fiction and Bond films. If someone without too many scruples about medical ethics, international law and human rights released mosquitos armed with a virus that reduced humans to a zombie like state, capable of following simple instructions but not of thinking for themselves then the world domination dream could at last be realised.

This is why Boggart Blog has bought the rights to the vaccination by genetically modified mosquitos technology ...
MWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAA.

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