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The Craziest Doomsday Cult Ever
America is known as the spiritual home of crackpot religions. There are hundreds of tree worshipping churches, people who pull snakes out of each others' arses, Old Testament goat shaggers and post modernist computer worshippers. People seem to be so needful any control freak with a world domination complex can set up a religion or cult, find some followers who will hail this person as the prophet of their faith, lead the poor saps into the mountains or desert and turn formerly straightlaced people into enthusiastic Jesus loving debauchees. And so long as they invoke God or Jesus often enough nobody seems to mind. They are a bit more suspicious of Hindu's Buddhists, Pagans and other no Abrahamic belief systems. At least not until the kool aid has been handed round and it is all too late...
The Craziest Doomsday Cult Ever?
by Ian R Thorpe
2008-12-14
CREATIVE COMMONS: Attribute, non commercial, no derivs.
KEYWORDS: cult, religion, faith, belief, America, prophet, messiah, god, jesus

I am always gobsmacked at how each Doomsday Cult can manage to be crazier than the last. The latest, the name of which I forget for the moment, led by a self appointed Messiah called Michael Travessor was the subject of a television documentary this week.

First question, how does one become a self appointed messiah. Maybe there is a website, messiahs-R-us selling do it yourself messiah kits on line. We know that fundie preacher Ted Haggard, who was caught getting blow jobs of rent boys, studied divinity at Oral Roberts University. UK readers do not believe the top Baptist education establishment in the U.S. Bible Belt is called Oral something. They think I made it up to slip in (oops, pardon!) whenever a fundie preachers was involved in a sex scandal. If that was true, it would be the most often used joke in history.

Anyway, back to the Doomsday Cult. Michael (66 or maybe 666) has a track record as a cult leader. He once led a breakaway from the Seventh Day Adventists. Back in those days he was called Wayne Bent and lived up to his name by proving to be bent as a Boxing Day turd (lovely phrase that) by embezzling all his followers funds.

Ah but that was Wayne, the new Messiah is Michael and, as if to prove they are two different people who have inhabited the same body, Michael is not interested in money but in sanctifying the female members of the cult. Having sex with him is like having sex with God you see. And apparently God likes under age virgins (that is no great secret of course, you only have to read the Bible to confirm it.) Lack of virginity does not exclude female cult followers from being sanctified however. Michael likes to distribute his blessings equitably, in fact sometimes he is reluctant to have sex with certain women but God forces him to, as was the case of his “consummation” with his daughter - in - law.

Michael’s son strangely did not seem fazed as Dad told of the incident in his own inimitable style, which I shall now transpose in my own inimitable style.

Michael had told Cristina, his son’s wife to take off all her clothes and lie on the floor with her legs spread as this is the best position for receiving the Holy Spirit. Taking all his clothes off too, so that he could be closer to God, the Messiah began to pray for his daughter-in-law to be sanctified. Suddenly he felt a mighty force (the hand of God?) pushing down on him. Though he tried to resist, the force threw him to the floor roughly and as he landed on top of Cristina his penis was guided into her vagina by an angel. Michael felt uneasy about this and tried to withdraw his penis but the hand of God bore down on his arse and pushed him back in again. After this process had been repeated a few times both Michael and Cristina understood God wanted them to do the business and so they got on with the job with some vigour.

Michael had also gathered the cult’s pubescent virgins, several at a time and asked them to get naked and lie on his bed with him if they wanted to be sanctified before the End Of The World. The girls all were willing and even begged this 66(6) year old man to give them the full sex experience but God told him it was not necessary in these cases, or al least that is what he said after an advisor reminded him he could go to prison if he admitted having sex with under age girls.

And so we move on to the reason for all this, the Messiah’s wish to prepare his followers for The End Of The World. This momentous event happened, according to Michael, on 31 October 2007. At midnight Michael led his followers from their homes into the open to wait for God to raise them to heaven before destroying the world.

The stood, arms and faces raised to heaven, they prayed, they sang hymns... They prayed some more, they sang some more. And then they all went home.

After this Michael became strangely reticent and sent a message to the film crew to the effect that as he and the remaining cultees, because a few still had not seen trough the insanity of it all, could not talk to film crews as they no longer had a life on this earth.

Yeah Right.

All in all it was a story of another ruthless, cynical individual controlling, manipulating and exploiting vulnerable individuals by preying on their insecurities and encouraging their self loathing.

Though in this article the surreal aspects are exaggerated for comic effect, just think how close the techniques Michael uses are to those of many multi-millionaire TV evangelists, faith healers, prophets and sundry other thieving scumbags.

It is the price a society must pay for freedom of religion although there is no reason in US law as far as I can see why these people cannot be arrested and charged with fraud. I suppose its that notion they have about free speech, although to my mind that does not extent to protecting the right to tell others they are not allowed to think or speak for themselves.

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