logo
Father's Away Day
KEYWORDS: parenthood,parenting, parents,father,mother,child,children,humour,humor,satire


Should father's be present in the delivery room during the birth of a child? Opinions have changed about this over the years, in this satirical artricle Boggart Blog describes how the birth procedure has developed over 30 years.

CREATIVE COMMONS: Some rights reserved. Distribution: Non - commercial, attrib, no derivs, All reproductions should be credited to Boggart Blog and linked to "http://www.greenteethmm.com/"

Father's Away Day
by Ian R Thorpe
first posted at Boggart Blog 2006-03-14

A big talking point last week was whether Freddie Flintoff should have abandoned his colleagues in England's depleted cricket team and flown home to be with his wife as she delivered their second child.

It is only quite recently that the presence of Dad at the birth has been tolerated by medical professionals and yet in the last ten years for the father not to be present at the birth has become one of the great crimes of political incorrectness. You may have noticed that most of the earnest but ultimately mingling Politically Correct Half - Wit Feminists who promote such nonsense have never had kids themselves.

Traditionally the people present at the birth of a child were the mother to be obviously, he mother and maybe a sister, and a midwife (though that too is quite recent, it was not so long ago that midwives were burned at the stake if somebody had complained of their milk going sour.)

"A woman needs her partner's support at such an emotionally demanding time" chirruped one PCHWF as the Flint's private business was discussed on daytime T.V.

"Rubbish, total crap, utter effing gobshite," screamed my wife Teri at the talking head on screen, "the last time you want a man blethering around getting in the way is when you are trying to push a squawking sprog into the world."

I fetched her a brandy to calm her and asked what she meant.

"When you are flat on your back with your legs hooked up in stirrups, a baby half out of your muffin, you've shat the bed, are bleeding from what he thinks of as the temple of Venus and you are effing and blinding like a sailor in a sandstorm you don't want to be worrying about whether you hair is tidy or your mascara has run," she told me, "and you don't want to be distracted by wondering if he will ever fancy you again."

I know what she means. When our first was born in 1974 the old regime was still in place, I dropped Teri at the hospital with her mum and was dispatched to buy nappies (this was a variation of the practice established in the days of home birth when Dad-to-be was sent to boil water though nobody in their right mind would ever plunge a baby into boiling water unless, due to some mutation caused by exposure to cosmic radiation or too much Diet Coke the lady has given birth to a lobster.

By the time I had bought nappies, which we already had plenty of, my Brother in Law and a couple of mates had been summoned to take me to the pub where I was kept out of harm's way until it was time to return to the hospital and greet my son.

In 1978 when Gabrielle arrived the story was different. The NHS had plunged into a crisis from which it has never escaped, the maternity ward was understaffed and as I turned to head for the waiting room two large nurses threw a tarp over me and dragged me off to be gowned, masked and put to work as administerer of gas and air and exhortations to "push" and "pant."

This is how I learned about the effing and blinding part of childbirth. My demure little wife was using words I did not know she knew. By the time we reached the final contractions she was using words I did not know. Most of them were connected with a plan to remove my wedding tackle with a very blunt, rusty knife.

As soon as she was coherent I promised to have a vasectomy at the earliest opportunity.

We did actually manage to preserve the romance in our relationship, mainly because I contrived to stay at the effing and blinding end and thus avoided seeing things that should only be observed my competent and experienced medical professionals. That then is Teri's view of having fathers present during birth.

For myself, I would just add that whenever I hear some smug twat, camcorder in hand, saying "it was the most intensely emotional hour of my life," I just want to punch him

RELATED POSTS:
Spunky Internet Entrepreneurs
Light A Fire With A Laptop
Beautiful Children With No Love In Their Eyes
Baby Born On The Bog
Britain's Biggest Gobshite
Childhood Drinking - The Slippery Slope
Evolution Classes
Intelligent Mouse Babies
E U Turkeys
The Internet Is Making Us Stupid
Man Or Mouse
Too Many People
Bible Bashers
Childrens Hospital Fraud
Fathers Away Day

INFORMATION & NAVIGATION

navigate

CATEGORIES

Fiction
Animal related
Art Menu
Belief, Faith and Religion
Celebrity mocking and knocking
Climate and Environment
Comedy, Satire, Humour
Debt Crisis and Money Matters
Driven To Drink
Education Menu
Fear and Panic
Health Menu
History - new perspectives
Humanitas
Jobs Crisis
Living Within The conspiracy
Middle East
Nanny State and The Thought Police
Past Perspectives
Philo & Sophia
Politically Correct Stupidity
Fools & Dreamers
Politics and Economy
Latest News Science and Technology
Sex and sexuality
Sport
Weird and Supernatural
SNACKS (sub topics)
The Ageing population
America
Religion and spirituality
Climate Change
Comedy and Humour
Education is overrated
The environment
Europe
Health
Internet Technology
Jobs and employment
Money and finance
Myths and traditions
Nanny Orwell
People and Places
Science, technology
Society
UK politics
War
World Politics

Our Internet Places
Scribd
Blogster
Ed Butt at Bubblews
Wikinuts
Boggart Blog
Little Nicky Machiavelli
Boggart Network News
Greenteeth Bites
Greenboggart
Boggart Blog Central
Daily Stirrer briefing
Boggart Network News
BOGGART BLOG ARCHIVES
BBselect001
BBselect002
BBselect003
BBselect004
BBselect005
BBselect006
Bubblews Archives
[ 1 ] [ 2 ] [ 3 ] MULTI MEDIA
Spoken Word
Video
Music
Graphic Art

LATEST POSTS & COMMENTS

Hackers Hacked - Government Ties Exposed
An Italian company develops hacking tools for government security agencies itself became the target of a hacker attack, resulting in its internal documents being leaked online and its deals with numerous governments being exposed.

Four Converging Crises Could Destroy Europe
Four great crises around Europe’s fringes threaten to engulf the European Union, potentially setting the ambitious post-war unification project back by decades. The EU’s unity, solidarity and international standing are at risk from Greece’s debt, Russia’s role in Ukraine, Britain’s attempt to change its relationship with the bloc, and Mediterranean migration.

Oregon bakery that refused same-sex couple owes $135,000 in damages
This page started by looking as a case of personal liberty versus gay fascism in Belfast, Northern Ireland but looks set to spread in all directions. While the Belfast Gay Cake case was, to the best of our knowledge, the first of its kind in Britain, there have already been a number of high profile cases in which the authorities have deemed that gay bitchiness trumps the civil rights of straight people,

Troika Is Manoeuvering To Rig The Greek Referendum
According to Greece's finance minister Yanis Varoufakis, the troika, the IMF, European Central Bank and EU Commission is planning to rig the outcome of the Greek referendum on whether to accept further austerity measures in return for bail out cash

Ending the Ownership of Money
It must be common knowledge by now that some of the world’s most economically powerful nations are insolvent due to the burden of sovereign debt. These economies are held together through by the faith of citizens and businesses in the currency. If that faith evaporates, the leading economies will crash as voters realise the only thing underwriting the economy is debt.

Climate Change: Physicist Asks Is a Deadly Ice Age on the Horizon?
The last ice age ended approximately 12,000 years ago, and since then we’ve been enjoying a pleasantly warm “interglacial period.” But given that an interglacial may last only 12,000 years, we’re confronted with a scary prospect: Another ice age may be nigh.

Government Paid Trolls Are Using 'Psychology-Based Influence Techniques' in Social Media
Have you ever come across someone on the Internet that you suspected was a paid government troll? Well, there is a very good chance that you were not imagining things. Thanks to Edward Snowden, we now have solid proof that paid government trolls are using “psychology-based influence techniques” on social media websites such as YouTube, Facebook and Twitter.

Zuckerberg reveals Facebook Working On Apps 'Smarter Than Humans'
In an online Question and Answer session this week Facebook supremo and founding megalomaniacal sociopath Mark Zuckerberg announced that his company is engaged in building AI systems "that are better than humans at our primary senses."

Boko Haram attack on Nigerian village leaves nearly 100 people dead


According to eye witnesses nearly 100 people have been killed in an attack on mosques and houses in a village in north-eastern Nigerian by suspected Boko Haram militants, news feeds reported today (2 July 2015).

Sleepwalking Into Another Middle East War To Make Obama Look Good
Watching the news feeeds, we see The United States has blocked attempts by its alleged Middle East allies to fly heavy weapons directly to the Kurds fighting the Islamic State jihad in Iraq.

War, Famine, Plague and all that
It is no secret that “news” media in the developed world is owned by a few corporate empires whose ultimate owners' are financial operators whose reach extends into manufacturing, extraction industries, big agriculture and food,

The Day the Earth Died - And Why The Green Lobby Did Not Raise A Whimper In Protest
By selling their votes in return for pledges of government spending in their states the current crop of US Senators have effectively transformed their nation from a representative democracy to a dictatorship in which the President can make law on a whim.

Artificial Intelligence: Will It Kill Human Society?
The media, the so called 'experts' and politicians hail every technological advance as if it will btransport us from reality to a utopian paradise. but does Artificial Intelligence and related internet and computer technology pose theats to human society that far outweigh any possible advantages? Whateve, Google plan to put machines in our place on top of the food chain.

City of Berkeley to require cellphone sellers to warn of possible radiation risks
One of the fist themes of this blog was that mobile phones (and wi-fi etc.) do pose a risk to health. Here's the latest admission that the sceptics voices were right, from The Guardian

Have US tactics only helped to make ISIS more powerful?/b>
We have questioned the US led efforts to defeat ISIS in the middle east many times, pointing out that every time the western alliance steps up opposition to the establishment of a news Islamic Caliphate, Islamic State seem to get stronger. 'Conspiracy Theorists', our critics yell. So let's look at opinion from around the world that concurs with ours.

Refugee host school in Germany bans revealing clothes
We have asked before and no doubt will again, when the citizens of a nation are constantly asked to give up their freedoms and change their behaviour in order to avoid offending new arrivals from medievalist cultures, whose effing country is it anyway.

More Violence In Malmo As Community Centre Burned
27 'youths' arrested after shootout in Rosengård
More trouble in Sweden as the ruling elite's determination to had the country over to lawless gangsters and tribalists from barbaric third world cess pits sees violence and inter - tribal conflict continue to increase in the once peaceful suburbs of Swedish cities.

Refugeee Host School In Germany Bans Short Skirts As They Wind Up Muslim Boys
We have asked before and no doubt will again, when the citizens of a nation are constantly asked to give up their freedoms and change their behaviour in order to avoid offending new arrivals from medievalist cultures, whose effing country is it anyway.

How Ironic That Humourless Warmageddonists Will Not See The Irony
I've lost count of how many times this blog has highlighted the extraordinary consistency with which politicians and scientists working in concert manage to achieve the exact opposite of what they are aiming for. One might be tempted to think that the first step in proposing a scientific solution to any problem is to first understand what harm the unintended consequences of your solution might cause.

Saying The Unsayable
Watching BBC Question Time last Thursday, I was struck once again by the way it was left to one of the stock hate figures of the left, Melanie Phillips, to actually pronounce the great, clunking truth that the online activities of left wing hate mobs have rendered unsayable.

Mediterranean Boat People Crisis Threatens European Identity
As European leaders gathere for a summit meeting on the Mediterranean Immigrant crisis, Italy's Matteo Renzi has warned that Europe must find a solution to the ever increasing flow of migrants from third world locations or risk losing its identity.

Saying The Unsayable: Today, Melanie Phillips
Watching BBC Question Time last Thursday, I was struck once again by the way it was left to one of the stock hate figures of the left, Melanie Phillips, to actually pronounce the great, clunking truth that left wing hate mobs have made unsayable.

Russia Outmanoeuvres the west again
While mainstream media (and even some of the more rabidly fascistic left wing bloggers) have been trying to demonize Russia as a way of drumming up public sympathy for Barack Obama's efforts to start a shooting war with Moscow, we Boggart Bloggers and ...

America and UK Lead the World in Climate Scepticism Several times now it has looked as if the climate chance scare was over as the enthusiasm of climate scitentists for changing real world data to fit in with the predictions of their mathematical models has been exposed. But as the scare was never about the environment, but was a scam to redistribute wealth from rich to poor countries, the politicians are throwing their propaganda budgets behind it again.

Sham Marriages To Beat Immigration Laws Are Out Of Control
With main immigration news on being dominated by the Mediterranean boat people crisis and the masses at Calais hoping to stow away in a freight container, we forget that another way of getting somebody into the country is the sham marriage. Numbers involved may be small, but it is another indication of our governments' failure to address the immigration problem.

Mediterranean Immigrant Composite
The flow of undocumented migrants from Africa trying to cross the Mediterranean from the coast of Libya to Italian, Greek and Maltese territory seems unstoppable. Two factors in the problem however have been western (particlarly American meddling in the internal affairs of African states, and wester aid leading to a population explosion national infrastructures are unable to cope with. And of course European leaders haven't a clue how to deal with the problem.

De-Dollarization Du Jour: Russia's Largest Bank Issues Yuan-Denominated Guarantees
Leading the charge to multipolarity and de-dollarization are Russia, resugent despite economic sanctions and the rising superpower in waiting, China. The downgrading of the dollar is clearly demonstrated in the launch of the BRICS bank and the establishment of the AIIB.

Older Posts index
Your Ad Here
Top Of PageThe Daily StirrerMore ComedyHomeBoggart Blog DailyA Tale Told By An Idiot