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The Worm In The Apple iPhone 4
Apple CEO Steve Jobs, a man whose entire career has been built on finding creative ways of avoiding an admission that his company’s technology is overpriced shite insisted there is nothing wrong with the new iPhone and people are experiencing problems because they are holding it wrongly. We disagree...

The Worm In The Apple iPhone 4
by Ian R Thorpe
2010-06-26
CREATIVE COMMONS: Attribute, non commercial, no derivs.
KEYWORDS: iPhone, iPod, Apple, phone, technology, corporation, steve jobs, iPhone, iPad, satire, humour, humor

At Boggart Blog we make no bones about it, we do not intend you to take us seriously. It is always a tad upsetting then when people do insist on taking us seriously and especially so when those people are fans of Apple Technology. Apple fans behave like Scientologists and like Scientologists hate it when people make fun of their bizarre behaviour which really amounts to the deification of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

Apple fans justify themselves by citing technological excellence, design excellence, excellence of Apple technology and a really cute logo as reasons for buying the products they buy. In reality they buy Apple because they are gullible enough to be convinced by media hype, charmed by the fact that their little grey box is only distinguished from millions of other little grey boxes on the market by it’s cutesy-pie little logo and nerdy enough to enjoy the status of being one of a community of nerds who are so desperate to be members of any community they will pay twice the going rate for a little grey box because it’s descriptor has a little “i” in front of it. iPhone, iPod, iPad, iMac, iPlonk, iDiddle-di-do and so on. It is unlikely then that Apple Cultists will be put off by Apple’s latest debacle.

The company has finally admitted it forgot to check its new mobile phone worked before shipping millions of them to shops around the world. In true Apple “glass is half full" style Apple has not said in so many words “You got us bang to rights, it’s a fair cop, the new iPhone is a piece of junk. Oh no, that would not fit comfortably alongside Apple’s corporate PR policy. The company has advised owners of the new iPhone4 that the device should function normally as long as they do not try to hold it with their hands.

An Apple spokesperson said: "Look, what are these whining shits going on about, there are lots of disabled people out there can hold a pen, eat sandwiches, send text messages on their phone and even comb their hair using their feet. Why can't able bodied people master those very basic skills and use their new iPhone the way it was meant to be used. As a Corporation we have decided to focus in future on foot held products as they are hugely efficient, leaving the hands free for other, more important and profitable tasks."

Apple CEO Steve Jobs, a man whose entire career has been built on finding increasingly original ways of avoiding an admission that his company’s products are overpriced shite insisted there is nothing wrong with the new iPhone and people are experiencing problems because they are holding it wrongly.

Like with their hands Stevie?

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