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Are You Educated - Quiz
Have you ever wondered how educated you are. Governments tell us standards of education offered in state run schools are rising all the time so people who have not been in full time education for twenty years or more ought to be total mortons, right? Take the test and find out how you rate.

Quiz - Are you educated?

It can only be a matter of time before an somebody who has emerged from the education system without ever learning his or her own name successfully sues the government for failing to exercise due diligence in managing the educational process. After all when the state compels us by law to attend school, surely implicit in that compulsion is a contractual obligation to educate us. So are you going to be due for any compensation. Take this quiz to help determine your prospects of winning a court - case.

Part 1 - Culture

(1) What was the last book you read?

a) A factual text on science, zoology, history, economics or biography
b) An adventure, romance, sci - fi, crime or relationship novel
c) Peter Rabbitt

(2) Who was Oscar Wilde?

a) A man of letters renowned for his wit and erudition
b) A screaming queen who had some good one - liners
c) Father of that really fit bird who sang Kids in America

(3) What are the impressionists?

a) A school of artists whose theories were rooted in existentialist philosophy
b) Entertainers who pretend to be other entertainers
c) Women of a certain age who look good from a distance but are a bit rough close up

(4) In music the era known as classical ended when?

a) With the death of Beethoven
b) The day the John introduced Yoko to the other Beatles
c) When the fat lady sang

Part 2 - Humanities


(1) For what is Titus Oates famous?

a) He was a renegade clergyman who persecuted catholics
b) As Scott of the Antarctic's sidekick he went outside
c)He was the inventor of museli

(2) Name the only surviving example of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World


a) The pyramids at Giza
b) The Temple of Diana at Ephesus
c) Jerry Lee Lewis

(3) Who, according to a poem "lifts her lamp beside the golden door"

a) Liberty
b) Florence Nightingale
c) Rikki Lake

Part 3 - Science

(1) What is the genome

a) The set of chemical algorithms that determine many physical and psychological characteristics
b) A female erogenous zone situated in the vagina
c) A type of garden ornament found in many suburban gardens

(2) Define pi

a) A mathematical constant used in engineering and architecture since ancient times
b) Something to do with maths
c) Ideal dessert served with cream

(3) Gluons are?

a) A sub atomic particle
b) An essential chemical in the manufacture of adhesives
c) Something a Transvestite would know about

4) The distance between stars is meaured in light years, but what is a light year

a) the distance light travels in a vacuum at around 300000km per second in one solar year
b) 9,460,000,000,000 kilometers
c) The year you managed to keep to your diet all through summer.

 

If you scored mostly As you are far too clever for your own good and probably have no real friends in fact that hot babe you meet in an internet chat room is in reality a forty - seven year old street cleaner from Pittsburgh PA. The best thing you can do is keep checking into the HEADBUTT website until we run a suicide special edition.

If you scored mostly Cs you probably are a billionaire, drive a Ferrari and own an island in the Caribbean. You too however have no friends and we know the person your colleagues think you spend quality time with was actually made in Thailand from puncture resistant plastic and has even more unrealistic - looking hair than Elton John.

BTW - If you scored mostly Bs you're fucked and are probably dead already.

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