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DOCTOR

Doctor I’m in trouble
I think I might not last
I work too hard, I’m full of stress
My heart beats much too fast.

Oh dear, oh dear, I do agree,
You really are quite ill,
But there’s no need to worry,
Just take this daily pill.
And if you should deteriorate
There are so many forms to fill in
So to be on the safe side,
I’ll prescribe some penecillin

The pills you gave me doctor,
Have slowed me down you know.
But they have worked rather too well
I’ve lost my get up and go.

It could be, perhaps, your problems,
Have made you quite depressed.
You must try to think more positively,
Prozac will do the rest

No doctor, you don’t understand,
I’m not suffering from depression
When I say I’ve lost my get up and go
It’s my GET UP that has gone.

I see, no wonder you’re depressed.
Impotence can make you feel low
I’ll prescribe you some Viagra
To revitalise your libido.

Since you put me on Viagra doc,
My erection will not go down
And people point and stare and laugh
I cannot walk round town.

All you need is something
That will help you to relax
Take these capsules twice a day
And you’ll have no more attacks

These problems I have should not
be too serious to tackle
But all you do is give me tablets
So when I move I rattle

The therapies are medically proven
Ignore the silly warning
The drugs I give you are perfectly safe
They are not dependancy forming.
And by the way, since you’ve been ill
You seem to have put on weight
Take a course of fat-busters
And the pounds will dissipate

Doctor, you’ve turned me into a wreck
My symptoms you can't relieve.
When I first came to see you
I only wanted sick leave.
LATEST POSTS & COMMENTS

BLOG BULLETIN Home [...]The Daily Stirrer [...] UK Home

Latest Posts
Middle East Problems Getting Worse Human rights groups claim 200 civilians killed in Syria by government troops as demands for the removal of President Bashar al-Assad's regime goes before the UN security council. As news of the violence spread, a crowd of Syrians stormed their country's embassy in Cairo and protests broke out outside Syrian missions in Britain, Germany and the United States. The Syrian government says reports of the violence and numbers of dead is greatly exaggerated and it ... [Middle East]

Argentina accuses Britain of using the Falklands as a distraction from economic woes


hrgentina has accused David Cameron's government of fanning the row over the Falklands Islands in an attempt to distract the British public from high unemployment. The moves "have to do with British domestic politics, with the high ... [ War by Proxy] ... [World Politics]

Environment Minister Resigns. Environment Shouts 'There Is A God' Liberal Democrat Chris Huhne resigned this morning from his role as Energy Secretary after being charged alongside his ex-wife Vicky Pryce with perverting the course of justice over speeding cover-up allegations. Mr Huhne and Miss Pryce have both been charged with the same offence after Miss Pryce allgeged that he asked her to take speeding points ...[UK Politics]

Green Policies Will Not Save The Planet But Are Costing Poor Families The Earth>
Politicians bleat sabout the plight of the poor then press on with their clean, green, sustainable energy policies which include stealth taxes to subsidise expensive and inefficient wind turbine and solar panel power generators. Can they not see it is the green agenda that is driving up inflation ...[Environment]

Globalisation can work, but only with a unified international plan says Will Hutton. WRONG!
by John de Roe.

>We need global economic and social institutions working across national borders economist Will Hutton who now appears to have been re educated and started working for The New World Order argued recently. If only it were that simple. Unfortunately globalization is the enemy not the trigger of the kind of economic recovery we need ... [Money - Finance]

Egypt Football Riot kills dozens
Remember the hope and anticipation that followed the downfall of former Egyptian President Honsi Mubarack. Remember how American President Barack Hussein Obama strutted around the world stage as if he had personally led the protests in Tahir Square that led to the overthrow of the dictator's regime? Remember how The Daily Stirrer told you it would all end in tears? After the outbreak of violence at ... [Middle East]

No Jobs For The Masses In The New Economy Despite University Education
No matter how leaders like David Cameron and Barack Obama try to talk up their economies or assure voters the jobs market is improving, growth returning and unemployment will soon start falling, the truth is change does not equal progress and forcing the pace of social change has only masked the true depth of economic and social problems. One of these is unemployment and particularly joblessness among the young. Even a universdity education does not provide a guaranteed career path ... Education

First Libya. next Syrian then The World for The Emperor Obama?
Led by The All Conquering Emperor Obama, jingoistic calls for military invervention are gaining volume if not support. Well OK we know the great peacemaker hopes a middle east war will save his Presidency as Iraq saved Bush's but just as more than half of Libyans supported Gadaffi so, according to polls conducted by western firms, more than half of all Syrians support Assad. The only justification for war then is Obama's need to inflate his ego. ... [Middle East]

At Least Britain Has It's Own Currency Dukle Of York Tells EU Single Nations Proponents
The Daily Stirrer does not have much time for Royalty and so we seldom mention them. But when a Royal Prince (fat Andy) stands up for British sovereigny and by extension the national sovereignty of the EU's other member nations which is gradually being eroded by the unelected bureaucrats in Brussels, fair play to him.
Addressing an audience of businessmen attending the Davos summit in Switzerland, the Duke urged. ... [
Europe ]

More Old People Are Falling Through Gaps In The Care System Old people are increasingly being let down by a lack of co-operation and communication between the NHS and council-run social care, MPs looking at the crisis in care will reporert this week.
Conclusuions drawn from a study by the all-party health select committee ... [
Age Problem]

Not Qualified To Press A Button
Janice Woodward spent 75 minutes trapped with her granddaughter in a lift at her local ASDA store at Portland, Dorset, after health and safety rules stopped staff pushing a button to rescue them according to ...

Drivers Cool About Electric Cars
Have you purchased your new, clean, green, politically correct, all electric car yet? No? I thought not. Neither have I. It is not so much that I hate the enviroment or that I do not want to support the fabulous clean, green, sustainable job creating indistries fabulous, clean, green Dave has promised us will ...

Gay Marriage Row Set To Erupt Again
Led by that evil little crypto - Nazi Peter Tachell they Gay lobby are turning up the whineometer to extra loud as they once again demand that gays be given the same right as the rest of us enjoy, the right to marry. You might think gays already have the right to marry, after all Hello Magazine is full of pictures of turd burglar and rug muncher coulpes getting hitched every week. Sadly civil ceremonies are not enough for some ...

Will Warmageddonists Tell Us Where The Missing Heat Is Or Shut The Fuck Up
After recent revelations from NASA and NOAA that the earth is not warming as quickly as climate scientists mathematical models predict, the Warmageddonist loobby came up with a ridiculous (even by their standards) respose that some of the heat has gone missing. Respected global warming sceptic ...

HMS Politically Correct - The New Navy
As tensions rise one again the the Persian Gulf and America prepares to use it's proxies, Israel, France and Britain to kick off a war with Iran the Royal Navy is preparing to deploy it's Type 45 Destroyers in the area to ...

Spare Us The Identity Politics
It is a characteristic of the era in which we live that the assaults of the collectivist, authoritarian left on the traditional value that hold nations buit on the Graeco Roman culture together has created identity politics, one of the most destructive trends of the past half century. The human rights movement having gasined roughly equal rights in most developed nations turned its attention to minority rights. They obsess about gay rights, Muslims rights, black rights, children'r rights and womens rights as if ...

Another French Hopeful With His Foot In His Mouth
To a delirious crowd of around 20,000, M. Hollande, the Socialist candidate cited The Bard of Stratford on Avon as he promised to cast off the ennui of the Nicolas Sarkozy era with a new wave of egalitarian idealism. In dismisssing Sarko as sans balls, sans brains and sans achievements Mr Hollande told the crowd, was best summed up by Shakespeare's great words: "They failed because they did not start with a dream." ...

Europe Does Not Just Have A Debt Crisis But A Crisis Of Democracy

Europe's debt crisis and the possible collapseb of the Euro zone are exercising many political commentators. But is the crisis just about debt and saving the single currency or is something more sinister going on. Are we witnessing an attempt to dump democracy and impose a totalitarian oligarchy?

David Cameron Blames Madness Of Bussels Red Tape For Euro Crisis

Speaking at the EU economic forum in Davos, Switzerland The Prime Minister said Europe is still in a perilous time (up shit creek to you and me) because of its debts and the financial burden of over - generous statutory welfare systems. He told the gathering the EU Central Bureaucracy must stop throttling growth with pointless rules and regulations. Mr. Cameron urged his fellow leaders not to impose ...

Alien Life? Who Needs Lizard Men There Is A Universe Of Ideas Out There.
What If We Are Alone? Scientist insit we must spend $£€ mega on trying to contact alien life forms. But putting aside the thought that such aliens may be hostile and hungry, why do we need to. There is a uinverse of ideas we can explore right here in our minds. Sady scientists lack the imagination to understand that.

Solar Storm Armageddon: Will This Be What Makes Warmageddonists Shut T F UP
An eruption on the surface of the sun, aka solar storn will send a flood of highly charged particles towards earth. Satellite communications and other technology might suffer sone disruption but the best thing about it is from here in the north of England we will be able to see the Aurora.

Massive Solar Radiation Storm Set To Hit Earth
The Daily Stirrere has told you all along that the climate change doom and gloom merchants and the climate science tax eaters were a bunch of con men whose aim was to divert our attention from the real threats facing humanity, some of which are man made (but not related to carbon emissions) and some which are natural and completely beyond the control of smart arse scientists, the pompous politicians who fund them or ...

Iran: Britain could send military reinforcements to Gulf
Britain could send military reinforcements back to the Persian Gulf region if the dispute with betwen Obamaland and Iran's theocratioc regime escalates, according to Philip Hammond, the Defence Secretary. He said the decision to send ...

While Socialist Occupy Protestors Call Punitive Tax On Weath, Socialist Tony Blair Pays 5% Tax

With Harriet Harman's Inequsalitries Bill having for the first time enshrined the superiority of minorities over the mainstream you might think at last there was some chance of making the elite live by the same rules as the rest of us. No chance as Tony Blair's use of offshotre tax havens and shell companies to blatantly dodge tax shows.
Nick Clegg: housing benefit reform will not cause 'mass homelessness'
Lib Dem leader has been defending the government's plan to cap the amount of state benefits that can be paid to a houehold. About time too. When claimants can make more than the average household income by playing the system what incentive does anyone have to work. There are strong opinions here, you've been warned.
Indian Minister Accused Of Abusing A Young Man With A Shoelace
Gauri Shankar Bisen, a minister in the government of the Indian State Madhya Pradesh, has eaten elephan dung, publicly disembowelled himself and offered to resign after admitting that he was guilty of shoelace related ...

Take your Ugg boots and stick them so far up your ...
The smammers are still busy in spite of all Google's inept and ineffectual attempts to stop them. In one way it is satisfying to know everything that bunch of incompetent semi autistic idiots do to try to stomp on comment spam actually rewards ...

GCSE Skydiving? And They Call It Education?
It's good to see the education system have decided to stop making exams as easy as falling off a wall. At least is the conclusion one might draw from the fact that a new exam introduced by the WJEC exam board will require candidate to jump out of a plane ...

Obama Prepares To Kick Off War With Iran.
We Old Gits who write The Daily Strrer love to say, with the obligatory show of false modesty, we told you so. And we get to indulge in this pleasure quite often as we are always right. So as we have predicted the US was preparing foir war with Iran several times of the thre years since we started The Daily Stirrer you might wel ask "Will they admit they were wrong on this one? Well we would be happy to admit we were wrong had we been wrong. Things are never what they seem to be however

Has The Fanaticism Of Militant Athreists Stigmatized Atheism Again
Not long ago, even though the nation had largely abandoned churchgoing, to describe oneself as an atheist carried a certain stigma. In the nineteen eighties and nineties that receded however as regular worshippers in Britain comprised just 6% of the population. Now however, thanks to militant atheism, the stigma is on the way back.

New Toilet Computer Game Will Really Piss People Off
Digital games colsole and game maker Sega is hoping to make a spash by nstalling video games in men's toilets. It could only happen in Japan of course: the firm is planning to install game consoles called "Toylets" at urinals for men in bars around ...

Immigrants Who Have Never Paid UK Tax Or National Insurance Claiming Billions A Year In Benefits

While the bleeding hearts of the "progressive left" wail and gnash their teeth over the plight of the world's poor a new report reveals hundreds of thousands of illegal immigrants who came to this country on the pretext of studying or visiting relatives are living in fine style thanks to our lax approach to illegals and the incomptence of those who run the benefit system.

Are Feminists More Evil Than Nazis
A campaign by feiminists and lefties to get t shirts will slightly sexist slogans withdrawn from sale shows how authoritarian the progressive left are prepared to be in imposing their warped moral values on everybody.

The Decline And Fall Of The Bureaucratic Empire
The societies we live in, the companies we work for and by extension our lives are run by people who tell us they are much cleverer than we are. This is why we need elites and why, we are told, we must tolerate their high living, their jollies off to luxury resorts where they may focus their minds fully on how better to exploit us, use our money filched from tax revenues that should be spent to our benefit, on high class hookers. The point is we the ordinary punters are, according to these people, simply too stupid to ...

Hungary Faces Bankruptcy and Default as EU loses patience
The European Commission has launched legal action against Hungary's Fidesz government for violations of European Union treaty law and erosion of democracy, marking a dramatic escalation in the war of words with the EU's enfant terrible. "We'll use all our powers to make sure that Hungary complies with the rules of ..."

Drop in UK inflation Is Not Good News
The Office for National Statistics has reported a sharp fall in the Consumer Prices Index - down from 4.8 per cent in November to 4.2 per cent last month - was the sharpest drop in the annual rate since December 2008 when the UK was in recession and VAT was reduced. Government ministers and propagandists will try to talk this up as a sing that the economy is starting to recover. We should be wary however, in the current economic circumstances a drop in inflation, especially one this rapid in what is traditionally the best month of the year for retailers, is not good news ...

Google Has Comptely Forgotten 'Don't Be Evil' As The World Domination Agend Gathers Pace
At last Google has been caught stealing information from a business rival rather than private induviduals. Will people now wise up to these scumsucking pirates of the internet search engine world.

There Are Some Very Weird People Out There
A list of the strangest items left behind in bedrooms by guests at
hotels in the Travelodge budgret hotel chain is mind boggling. One has to wonder what sort of freaky things these people had been getting up to.

The Lard Hadron Collider
As excitements grows in the scientific community about the imminent announcement from the Large Hadron Collider team at CERN about how they have nearly found something interesting, Xavier Connolly explains why the whole thing is just a science a scam.

Euro Zone Gazes Into The Abyss As France Loses Its AAA Credit Rating
Stock markets fell sharply in late trading on Friday (13 January - oo-er) and the Euro zone single currency plunged against all other major currencies as Standard and Poor’s cut France’s AAA rating. Habitual debtor Italy saw its long-term rating dropped by two notches, along with Spain, Portugal and Cyprus. Malta, Slovakia, and Slovenia had their ratings lowered by one notch. A surprise victim of ...

Statistics, Graphs and Hockey Sticks
A poem about the famous hocvkey stick graph and the science scam it was a frony for. Posted now as a valedictory celebration because US climate monitoring agncies NASA and NOAA have at last admitted the global average temperature has risen only marginally over the past few decades.

Osborne Says Cuts To Across The Board Child Benefit Will Go Ahead.

Chancellor George Osborne has said the Coalition government's plan to cut child benefit for higher rate taxpayers will go ahead but after ministers' hints the policy could be made "fairer" Mr Osborne has agreed to review the plans. While Lib Deems and Labour MPs, the unthinking droids of the politically correct left wail and gnash their teeth at the prospect of any benefit being cut ever and the idiot fringe lefties at ...

Euro Zone Crisis: The Decline And Fall Of The Bureaucratic Empire
Euro zone leaders continue to insist the single currency must be saved even though any fool would recognise a dead parrot when they see one. So why are they prepared to sacrifice the furture for the single currency project. And was it ever really about money?


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COMMENTS AND RECOMMENDED REA.DING AROUND THE WEB

In this section we do not necessarily support the views expressed in linked articles but try to give a coss section of interesting and well written articles that we think are likely to stir things up a bit.

COMMENT:
(A random and ecletic mix of what we thought was worth reading recently)

Unemployment at 8.3% Still Leaves A Vast And Destructive Jobs Deficit Robert Reich, The Guardian
The most significant aspect of January's jobs report is political. The fact that America's labor market continues to improve is good news for the White House. But as a practical matter, the improvement is less significant for the American workforce.
President Obama's only chance for rebutting Republican claims that he's responsible for a bad economy is to point to a positive trend. Voters respond to economic trends as much as ...

Much Media Ado About Nothing What connects seemingly disparate works such as The Silence of the Lambs, Cape Fear, Mad Men, and Seinfeld? It is the philosophy of nihilism, first popularized by Friedrich Nietzsche in the late 19th century. But in the last few decades, how did it become the dominant worldview of Hollywood? Dawn Of The Ice Age Signals The End Of The Global Warming Scam Back then, the media and activists trumpeted the arrival of a new ice age, with the specter of ice sheets and glaciers covering half the northern hemisphere, and brutal winters in the remaining ice-free zones. The fact that the media and popular culture and academia have veered from one panic-inducing disaster scenario to another one which completely contradicts the first one is funny enough in its own right. But reading The Weather Conspiracy: The Coming of the New Ice Age opened my eyes to an even more significant aspect ...

Hundreds of Independent Bookshops Face Closure
Hundreds of independent bookshops could be forced to close unless local authorities do more to support them, a leading retail group has warned. The Booksellers Association (BA), which represents 3,500 independent bookshops across the UK, has written to almost 400 council chiefs urging them to do more to support their local high streets or risk ...

Solar Panels Subsidy Was The Most Ridiculous Green Scheme Deramed Up
A plan to subsidise solar panels on homes was “one of the most ridiculous schemes ever dreamed up”, a Government minister has said.
Lord Marland, an Energy minister, hit out at the cost of so-called feed-in tariffs, which the Government has axed as part of the cuts programme. Last week Court of Appeal ruled that the sudden axing of the tariffs ...

Goodbye Great Britain
Recently, there have been two powerful challenges to the conventional wisdom about the United States. First, Robert Kagan published a lengthy essay in The New Republic, arguing that predictions of America's decline as a global power are woefully premature. .Is it possible, I found myself wondering, to do something similar for Britain? Robert Colvile has a go in this Daily Telegraph article ...

Our rising debt levels are becoming unsustainable – soon we may be talking about wealth confiscation (By Daniel Knowles, Daily Telegraph)
Debt, debt, debt; we’re drowning in it. This morning, the Office for National Statistics published the latest estimates of public sector borrowing. Though borrowing is falling faster than anticipated, thanks to the fact that spending cuts are finally beginning to kick in, the national debt has risen to 64.2 per cent of GDP. More significantly,…

The Obama administration knifes Britain in the back again over the Falklands - By Nile Gardiner World
In yet another display of disdain for the Anglo-American Special Relationship, the Obama administration has weighed in on the mounting tensions between Great Britain and Argentina over the Falkland Islands. Just two days after Prime Minister David Cameron issued a robust statement in the House of Commons vowing to defend the sovereignty of the Falklands,…

Drones In The Hands Of The Paparrazi - It's an ethical minefield
America's use of drones for targeted killings is serious enough. But commercial and law enforcement uses are on the horizon. Whether you view them as model aeroplanes for grown-ups or the handmaidens of the killer robot, unmanned aerial vehicles (UAVs), commonly known as drones, are taking off in earnest. ...

The Observer uncritically regurgitates Trotskyist smears against Katharine Birbalsingh- By Toby Young, Daily Telegraph
There’s a disgraceful attempt to smear Katharine Birbalsingh in this morning’s Observer. Under the headline “Katharine Birbalsingh criticised over ‘wasteful’ free school project“, the paper’s policy editor Daniel Boffey tries to create the impression that there’s growing local opposition to the Michaela Community School – Birbalsingh’s free school – which is due to open in…

We’re being sent the bill for the euro crisis again – this time by the IMF - By Daniel Hannan First it was individual banks; then whole industries; then entire countries; now it’s the world. Western leaders have reacted to the failure of each bailout by decreeing a bigger one. Unable to admit their mistake, slaves to the defunct economist whose thinking dominates our economics faculties and central banks, they act like so many Nick Leesons,…

The Three Parent Family More on the progressive left's war on the family and the scientific dictaorship's attempts to dehumanize us all. Babies with three biological parents could be born within three years. Scientists have come up with an IVF technique that uses the undamaged DNA of a third party when couples risk giving their children a genetic conditions such as muscular dystrophy or ataxia. The Wellcome Trust has funded the research (the figures vary between £4 million and six million …

As Obama Positions Himself For A War In Syria We Learn That Like Gadaffi, Assad Is Popular With His People
Most Syrians back President Assad, but you'd never know from western mediaAssad's popularity, Arab League observers, US military involvement: all distorted in the west's propaganda war. Suppose a respectable opinion poll found that most Syrians are in favour of Bashar al-Assad remaining as president, would that not be major news? Well one did and we never heard a word of it in the Obama felching western media ...

Bullshit Sherlock
While other blogs are full of how great the cliff - faller ending of Sherlock Holmes was I felt a bit let down. The fake suicide was telegraphed all through the show. And the coda assured us Sherlock had survived. We should not forget of course it was the habit of ...

Will bringing back grammar schools boost social mobility? by Toby Young Daily Telegraph
The possibility that England may shortly see its first new grammar school in over 50 years has, predictably enough, re-opened the debate about selective education. Yesterday, for instance, Allison Pearson came down firmly in favour, while Fiona Millar shot back with an instant rebuttal. I’ll get into that argument in a moment, but first let’s be…

So Why Read Books Anymore
There is great “truth and beauty” in Homer’s Iliad, but I would not try to make his sale on such platitudes. Gibbon’s The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire remains a classic. But I confess it can be hard to get through. Conrad’s Victory or Knut Hamsun’s Growth of the Soil, if authored by writer X this year, would be trashed on Amazon.So what are the reasons, in this age of ...

Eric Holder and the Chicago Way In America Obama's Brownshirts are getting hysterical as they try to make race the major issue in the election campaign.

Dystopian Prophecies Are Coming True - The Government Will Soon Choose Our Wives
Thinking of this entertaining new literary award – “the Hatchet Job of the Year” – it was natural to turn to Macaulay’s Essays, for few reviewers have ever been less reluctant to wound. I had in mind two long review-essays, one on Robert Montgomery’s Poems, the other on The State in its relations with ...
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