He said I am a great stud

A stallion, a bloke

There’s nothing I like better

Than giving girlies a good poke

I eat curry and drink lager,

hate sissy things like art,

like football, porn and violence;

I curse and belch and fart.

She said I want a strong man

Who will dominate and rule me

Not some weepy new - age wuss,

All that caring doesn’t fool me.

He told her "I hate woofters too

I think they should be shot

So you’re the kind of girl for me

I fancy you a lot."

And as he took her to his flat

She gazed in adoration

How cruelly reality

Can shatter expectation

For when she tried to be affectionate

And placed his hand upon her thigh

He said "you’re just a cheap slut"

And gave her a black eye.

But still she thought she loved him

She loved his greasy, unwashed hair

Powerfully muscled shoulders,

And distressed underwear.

She told him "I’m your woman,

I’ll do anything you ask."

"He replied "I want a woman,

Who can be one of the lads."

So she dressed in jeans and T-shirt

but it was not enough

He told her "that mascara

Makes you look just like a pouf."

She said "I am your woman,

Please fill me every night"

So he took her to his local

And filled her up with pints.

She said "let’s go out dancing"

He said "You’ll make me look a fool"

So she followed him to the pub again

And learned how to play pool

Finally he was pleased with her

She had put aside her girlie past

And he thought she was learning

To be a bloke at last.

She begged him "Please make love to me?

Our sex life is a farce."

So he bent her across the table

And screwed her boyish arse.

***