Copyright (c) Words and music : Ian Thorpe, 2003 Graphic design : Sara L Russell, 2003.
The phenomenon of the “Page Three girl” has never reached the USA though I'm sure America has its own versions of this voyeuristic obsession. These young women, half or totally naked and posed to show the breasts to advantage but conceal the delta, have adorned UK tabloids for more than twenty years. Girls can still become celebrities, pop stars or successful actresses if only they are prepared to “get ‘em out for the boys.” Being a great conspiracy theorist I detect a Government / Big business plot to divert our attention.
We slob out on the sofa In front of the T.V. And start skipping through the channels For the stuff we want to see Skip the news and politics And other boring bits, Our interest focused solely On sweet Suzanna's tits. They’re starving in Afghanistan Burning in Palestine The politics of market forces Push greed right to the line But society can crumble while The forests are laid waste. War plague and famine threaten The future of our race, Still we will not fret or worry If we get our daily fix And the opium of the masses Is Suzanna's superb tits. We never exchange opinions Compare philosophies or views On subjects of importance Or matters in the news. The Prime Minister is a wanker, The President is a scrote But a significant majority Lack the energy to vote. The one and only topic To exercise our wits Is the size and shape and firmness Of sweet Suzanna's tits.