"So that was having my cake and eating it," the scent of camomile tea was soothing as Lesley stirred honey into the two cups and dropped in slices of lemon.|
"No love, that was you having my muffin and eating it but you're going in the right direction."
"To be honest I never found men's lovemaking great, deep down I knew what I wanted but the guys were always in such a hurry, as if we were doing something embarrassing."
"There are men out there who love women and know how to pleasure us, strangely its not always the artists and sensitive types. I guess some just instinctively know a woman has so much more to offer that what's talked about in the locker room."
"You mentioned training my husband. The thing is I haven't quite finished with him. I always wanted a family. Is that weird."
"It would be difficult and take time."
"I was hoping for something quick. Can't you do a spell to turn him into a sensitive lover."
"Sorry, wouldn't work. First, the basic raw material isn't there from what you say; second, turning your hubby into a perfect shag, now my heart would just not be in that. It would be easier to turn him into a frog."
"Yeah, I know what you mean, but I don't want to give birth to a tadpole. Anyway you said witches don't work like that. Could a witch turn someone into a frog?"
"Oh... a witch could do that, but a lady never would. Listen I've a better idea that would work if we can get him in the right frame of mind. We will turn him into a woman and let him know how it feels to be handled properly."
And so they arranged for the transformation of Peter to take place at the Halloween Karaoke in the village pub. Vera knew she was taking a gamble but although she had only spoken to the emotionally constipated dentist briefly on a few occasions she was sure her instinct was right. He would react badly.
The lovers met each day at one home or the other, to rehearse their songs for the Karaoke. Willing participants were rare and people who would stand up in front of the audience and put some feeling into their lyrics always had a good reception.
The first song was Vera's choice, an old Dusty Springfield hit with a very clear message for the alert listener:
" 'cos you've started something and can't you see
that ever since we met you've had a hold on me,
Its crazy but its true, I only wanna be with you."
The whole lyric was sung with pouts, winks and suggestive gyrations of the hips. Anybody who had been at least halfway round the block would see that the singers were singing those words to each other.
In addition they chose an ABBA song and copied the homoerotic performances of those beautiful women and to round off they would sing the disco anthem Sisters Are Doing It For Themselves.
"We couldn't be more obvious if we took out a front page ad in the local paper," Vera said when they were satisfied their routines were right.
"And when we've turned Pete on, what?"
Vera explained that if she could make potions that would turn men temporarily into women she would be richer than Bill Gates but what they would actually do would have to be a bit more subtle.
"I'll need about twenty minutes alone with Peter. Even a man as slow as him will have worked out that he might find himself in the middle of a threesome and he will be wide open psychically, extremely suggestible. So you disappear to make some supper. Its OK, you can peep, so long as he doesn't know you are there."
It was possible of course that the whole plan would fail and Vera would find herself having to grit her teeth and think of a long, boring poem. This was the reason she would not confide to Lesley what was going on. It was not a question of trust, but the thing would seem so far beyond anything a worldly person would accept as possible, hints that something was planned could easily be given away.
"A great version of The King's "Are You Lonesome Tonight there from Charlie Higginbotham. Well done Charlie, love the wig too. This is Dangerous Bobby D. with the Weirdstones Halloween Karaoke" yelled a manic vampire into his microphone, "next we have a couple of stunning babes, Hecate's Daughters, who are going to give us Dusty Springfield's "I only Wanna Be With You," and that's one of my favourite songs of all time girls. Give it some!
"Stunning babes, I'll turn his willie into silly string" Vera shouted off mic. but loudly enough to be heard as the system played the intro. The pair drew a cheer from the crowd in the pub for their sexy outfits and full goth makeup. Lesley worse a black Basque with red satin hotpants, fishnet stockings and very high heels, Vera was even more outrageous, she had slipped off a demure button through dress to reveal a second skin cat suit which she had decorated with some strategically placed studded leather belts.
"Ah've 'eard she a witch, well in that outfit she'll certainly raised the dead for a few blokes in 'ere," came a comment followed by a dry chuckle from one of the front tables as the women began to sing.
Peter, alone now at a side table, found his mouth had gone very dry. He had been annoyed that Vera was part of the party, she always made him feel uncomfortable.
"There's something not quite civilised about her," he had told Lesley when he first learned she would be with them. What he meant was she intimidated him. Now though, he began to see an opportunity to fulfil one of his favourite fantasies. Three in a bed sex had been something he tried to talk about to Lesley but she always headed him off by asking who the other man would be. Even so he found it easy to convince himself the women had been preparing a surprise for him.
The Karaoke was going well but there were frequent shouts for more from Hecate's Daughters who gave equally tantalising performances of the other songs they had rehearsed. Peter, whose fancy dress consisted of a cheap set of vampire teeth, which he thought was hilarious for a dentist, grew more and more excited as the hours raced by. It was definitely on tonight, he was sure Vera was coming on to him and his wife was encouraging her friend.
When they collected the prize, a bottle of Champagne, which granted a moment of privacy Vera hissed "keep that for later, I haven't had a drink all night."
"I noticed, not even water."
"Well I could not possibly have gone for a waz in this outfit could I? Anyway I need a clear head for what we're doing."
"What are we doing, you can tell me now."
Vera marched back to the table so she could not tell anything.
"Champagne, great," said Peter reaching for the bottle.
Lesley held it away, "Hands off, we're having that with supper."
Vera decided the sole male needed distraction. She sat on his lap and draped her elegant arms around him.
"Changed you mind about me Pete?"
"I always got the feeling you didn't like me much."
"garrayum, sorry dry throat, I just... I take a long time to get to know people."
"You're getting to know me quite well now," she ground her bottom against his rising erection.
"Well - ah - any friend - ah - of my wife's is - ah, you know."
"And have you changed your mind about me?"
" I thought - ah - you were a bit - ah - aloof but you surprised me."
"Yet not bad for an old bird am I?"
"You have a - ah - t'riffic body for someone - ah - fortyish."
Lesley butted in "Vera behave, I have to wash his underwear." Peter almost choked, it seemed like approval. Then Vera made matters even worse. She buried her fingers in the longish hair at his neck and looked at Lesley.
"Darling, what a smoothie you've got yourself, how do you keep him at home, he's such a charmer. I'm forty - seven Pete."
Not long after they left the party having raised plenty of eyebrows.
Skip to Season Of The Witch - Part 4
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